


Megami no Kikan: An Akatsuki's Kittens Story

by Mistress_Chan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, F/M, Jashinism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 89,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22518664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_Chan/pseuds/Mistress_Chan
Summary: AU/Akatsukitties Story.Set after Naruto departs with Jiraiya, four unconnected girls find themselves in the world of Naruto, something each is familiar with in their own way, stuck as kittens. Follow the heroines as they discover their true ties to the world... And why they're there in the first place.Borderline Crack, Major OOCness, plus tragic backstories and LOTS of mention of sexy-smuttiness.  You've been warned.
Relationships: Hidan (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Hoshigaki Kisame/Original Female Character(s), Sasori (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Zetsu (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Akatsuki's Kittens

Chapter 1: Akatsuki's Kittens  
Sit down, children, for I'm going to tell you a story.Its a story of a girl, trekking a land unknown with a group of criminal misfits... And how I completely ruined their lives.  
\---- It was a completely normal Saturday. I was enjoying a cup of orange blossom tea, lounging around my apartment and basking in the mid-morning sun. Suddenly, I heard a knock at my door.

The next few minutes were a blur, but I recall a terrible Selina Kyle cosplay, and an ominous warning that rang in my head. 30 minutes.

I closed the door and sat myself on the couch to ease the sudden bout of dizziness. I swear I had taken my medicine this morning. Once I was satisfied I could stand, I retrieved my copy of Deathly Hallows and tried to lose myself in the realm of magic once again.

That warning kept pinging in my ears. 5 minutes left. Prepare yourself.

I stood and stretched my legs, deciding a jog would help me clear my head.

Making sure my apartment was locked and I had my keys, wallet and phone, I stretched my legs and set off at a slow trot. I made it a few steps before the dizziness returned.

I stumbled to an alleyway and steadied myself against the wall, but my hand slipped and I was suddenly falling.

I finally hit the ground, but I couldn't move- I couldn't see.

All I could hear was a faint whisper before my consciousness faded, "Right on time."

\---

My eyes opened, and I blinked a few times to focus my sight. Everything looked so much larger... and unfamiliar. Was I not just in an alley?

It was dark, and I seemed to be in a giant bedroom. I called out, "Hello?" but nobody replied.

I sighed and shoved my face into my hands, immediately noticing that both my hand and face were completely covered in fluffy fur.

I screamed, my voice warbling and quiet.

Suddenly the door opened and light spilled into the room. "Another one?" A big, mysteriously blue hand picked me up. "You sure are cute."

"Thanks, I guess." The giant blue man immediately dropped me. I prepared for the worst, but I somehow landed upright.

"Y-you talked!" he exclaimed, squatting down to look at me. "None of the others talk..."

I stare at him. "What do you mean others?"

His deep voice sounded unsure. "Other, uh... cats. Kittens, rather."

I almost fainted. "I'm a.. I'm a fucking CAT." I exclaimed, trying to process my new reality.

"Since you can um... talk... Do you have a name?" His white eyes peered at me.

"Sakana. Sakana Redd." I said, peering back.

"And you're Kisame Hoshigaki."

He jumped up, snatching me by my neck, and carried me out of the room at a brisk pace.

"Hey!" But my protests fell on deaf ears.

\---

I was planted in the middle of a desk, right on top of an important looking stack of papers. I looked up to an annoyed looking leader of the Akatsuki.

"Kisame, another kitten showing up does not give you clearance to enter my quarters." He chastised, shooing me off of his papers and picking up a pen. "This is hardly an emergency."

"Leader-sama... This kitten is different." The shark-man argued, "It's... weird."

"The markings are different, yes. but-"

"It talks!" He exclaimed.

Pein looked at Kisame like he'd ripped his clothes off and pledged his loyalty to Jashin.

"Tell him!" Kisame told me, and I exhaled.

Pein's eyes fixed on me and I tried not to shrink. "Hello."

He jumped up and looked at Kisame. "What the fuck."

"Hai." The big blue Akatsuki member scratched his head. "That's not all, though."

Curiousity appeared on the Leader's face as he tematively picked me up. "Tell me," he commanded.

"Well... she knew my name before I told her."

"Cat, explain." He ordered me, burying his fingers into my fur. I purred agaimst my will, then clearedy throat.

"Well, I come from a place where your lives are part of an.. uh... I don't know of you guys have anime? Manga, then?"

Kisame snorted, "You mean that dorky kid stuff? Comics?"

"Kinda," I confirmed. "You could call me crazy but I know everything about you. All of you. I know your stories, I know your secrets but what I don't know is why I'm here, and why," I paused for dramatic effect, "the FUCK I'm a god damned cat."

\---

Pein beckoned Konan to assemble the criminals in his office. Soon, what remaining Akatsuki members left in the base slowly appeared in the room. Deidara and Sasori came in first, the blonde having a small cat on his shoulder. It hopped onto the table to sniff at me.

"Um, hi." I said to it, hoping it would talk back to me. It only meowed.

I sighed, laying down on my paws. So I'm a cat, but I can't talk to other cats?

'Kira, she's funny!' An unfamiliar voice snapped me out of my trance. I searched around me for the source of the distinctly feminine speaker.

'Shut up, Suki.' Another feminine voice responded, furthering my confusion.

Kami, I'm going crazy.

Itachi had entered the room, a small white kitten in his hands. Another cat slinked in, followed by Zetsu and Tobi.

"Silence." Pein suddenly said, sitting forward and effectively silencing the small chatter. "As you can see, we have had yet another kitten appear in the base. Fortunately for us, it seems this cat... speaks." He stared at me until I realized that I was supposed to say something.

"Ah... um, well... I'm Sakana." I muttered, suddenly embarrassed about all of the attention.

Deidara was the first to speak, "...holy shit, un." I looked at him and Sasori to find they were both suprised, Sasori less so. A quick glance around the room showed me the varying degrees of shock that the badass ninjas were in.

"Wow!" Tobi exclaimed, jumping up to pet me. "Can Sakana-neko talk to the other kitties?"

I tried to shrug but realized how difficult it was. "I don't know, I keep hearing voices,"

'Thats us, dummy.' The kitten laying on Zetsu's feet locked eyes with me, and it clicked.

"Oh- um. Apparently so." I confirmed, silently introducing myself to the other cats. 'Sakana Redd.'

'Oh my god! Now we can communicate with these sexy beasts!' The kitten currently being pet by Kisame called. 'My name is Suki Yang. The grumpy, mean one is Zena, and the sleepy one over there in the window is Kira, she's my sister.'

"...weird." Pein said, turning to Itachi. "Please evaluate Miss Redd, as well as the other cats. Sasori, aid him in determining if she is truthful."

Soon, Itachi and Sasori were carrying the four of us into a medical examination room.

Itachi asked me a barrage of questions, and would occasionally turn to the redhead sitting in the corner, who would nod.

He asked another question, his eyes blazing.

"I come from a place called Earth, I was in Tokyo when I blacked out." Itachi looked at Sasori again, and I sighed.

'Could you tell them something for me?' Suki asked, and when I asked her to be specific, she replied, 'Tell Itachi that he's a very nice cuddler.'

I relayed the information to Itachi, who immediately took to examining Suki, who giggled at his soft touch.

With a shake of his head, the Uchiha expressed his need to see Pein, and left Sasori with the other kittens and I.

While he sat in silence, I talked to the others. 'When did you guys arrive here?' I asked, primarily directing my question at Suki, as she was the most talkative.

She responded, 'Zena arrived first, probably a day or two before us. Then I was reading a fanfiction when someone came to our front door. Kira answered and was really weirded out. A little while later, we both us passed out. We woke up here, just like you did. Isn't it exciting? We're the Akatsuki's Kittens!'

I looked at Zena and Kira, as if to ask, does she always talk this much?

Kira only blinked at me. No shit.

'Right on time', someone said it. Right in my ear. Or my head. I don't remember.

'Yeah, now that you mention it, I heard that too.' Suki agreed.

'Not me,' Zena said suddenly. 'Mine was a poem.'

'Tell us, Suki meowed.

'unleash yourself feline fans,

your souls' matches await in this land.

this kitten's curse of four shall undo

when one touch marks the meeting of two' Zena chanted. I've been thinking about it a lot.

That's so cute! Suki cried, its romantic.

It's about us, Zena said.

When Kira and I looked at her in confusion, she elaborated.

It has to be. It didn't make sense before, since there were just three of us, but... She looked at me with pale green eyes. You're here now. And its safe to assume we're all fans of this, whether we watched the anime, or read the manga.

We're here for some reason, maybe we can figure out how once we break this 'curse'. Suki stood up, as Itachi re-entered the room. I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to try. She suddenly launched herself at Itachi, who was completely caight off guard. She smacked right into his face, planting a quick kiss on his lips.

Dammit, I'm still a cat! She cried, but the Unchiha didn't understand her.

Thankfully, Itachi managed to catch the excited kitten in his hands before she hit the floor. "You're too energetic, Princess." He murmered quietly, quickly picking up Zena. Sasori grabbed Kira and nodded for me to follow them. They took us back to Pein.

Pein assessed me with perplexed eyes. "Well, you aren't lying."

I scoffed. "I have no reason to."

"You said something about knowing our futures?" He raised his pierced eyebrows.

"Once I'm a human again, we'll talk." I promised. "And you won't kill me, so don't even suggest it."

"...Fine. Sasori, figure it out." He instructed the redheaded ninja. "Dismissed."

Itachi and Sasori brought the four of us to what seemed to be the living room.

Two couches sat against two of the walls, forming a 90 angle. In between them was a solid wood coffee table, littered with books about various weaponry and catalogs for ninja gear.

On the opposite wall of one of the couches was a large fireplace, with two armchairs close by, but not too close.

Kisame and Deidara sat on one couch, thumb-wrestling to pass the time. Tobi was playing with a toy in the floor between the chairs and the sofa, and Zetsu was nowhere to be found. Kira quickly jumped from Sasori's hands and found a spot on one of the chairs.

Suki was deposited on Kisame's lap, and Itachi picked up a book from the coffee table and sat by the fireplace with Zena in his lap.

I sat on the other couch by Sasori, watching as Suki climbed up Kisame's shoulder, distracting him from his antics with Deidara.

He still managed to win, much to the blonde's dismay.

"Stop your whining, brat." Sasori demanded.

"But danna-" Deidara whined again, suddenly being cut off by a 'poof' and a high-pitched squeal.

There was a very naked blinde girl on Kisame's lap, and a very purple blush across the shark-nin's face.

Sasori sprung into action first, throwing his cloak on the nude girl. "Thank you, Sasori-danna." She squeaked. "I can't believe that actually worked!"

"Wait a minute- Suki?"

Kisame came to suddenly, "The cat kissed me! And it was a girl!"

"this kitten's curse of four shall undo

when one touch makes the meeting of two!" Suki chanted. "It's just like a disney movie!"

I balked. How fucking ridiculous was this?

Kami, save us all. Kira mumbled, before hopling up from the chair. Better tell someone to give me their cloak. She looked at me. You know what we have to do.

"Uhhh, guys?" I said, drawing the attention to myself. "You're gonna have to let us kiss you now."

After the inital shock, they agreed, all removing their cloaks in case any more naked girls appeared.

When nobody was looking, Itachi pressed a sly kiss to Zena's head, but that didn't work. She returned the kiss on his lips, but that was a bust too.

Deidara was quick to kiss Kira and I, but we didn't poof either. Kisame and Tobi kissed us, too. Nothing. When Suki gave an offended look at her 'soul's match', he shrugged.

"Worth a try."

Itachi took his turn kissing Kira, much to her dismay. If one more person kisses me, I'm gonna get the claws out.

"Sasori hasn't tried yet." I pointed out, to the puppet's horror. He huffed, then picked up Kira and a discarded cloak. He stepped out of the room, leaving us all watching the door intently. There was a soft 'pop' from the hallway, then a muffled voice, and Sasori came back into the room, leading a raven-haired girl behind him.

I snickered, and he shot a glare at me. "Well, Uchiha? Plant one on me."

Itachi picked me up after mumbling a "hn", and kissed me.

And as much as I'm disappointed to say, Uhicha Itachi wasn't my soul mate.

"Well, fuck. It could be fucking anyone." I grumbled. Itachi patted my head soothingly and set me back down.

"I've had enough contact for one day," he said quietly, before leaving the room with his discarded book.

Don't feel so sad, Zena mused, I'm still a cat, too.I agreed with her, until Zetsu walked in. After Deidara and Kisame's explanation of events, he picked up Zena and quickly planted a kiss on her.

After the poof, standing there in all of her naked glory was a brunette with a cherry red face.

"God fucking dammit!" I yelled, just as another voice echoed it.

"As soon as we fucking leave, Leader starts allowing strippers? Of fucking course he would, motherfuckin' Pein-in-my-ass."

Ah, Kakuzu and Hidan had returned.


	2. Soul mates, Star-gazing, and Theology

"Zetsu, how did you know that would work?" Zena asked, now covered in an Akatsuki cloak.

"Well, it's simple really," his white half began. "When we heard that the others had been successfully reverted by one of their 'caretakers', and Tobi's kiss didn't work on you... It only makes sense that it'd be us."

Accepting his reasoning, Zena smiled at me ruefully. "Sorry, Sakana. Yours is out there... Somewhere."

I sighed, deciding to go inform the Leader of the newest developments. What I did not realize was that Hidan and Kakuzu were reporting on their mission.

I pushed the door open, only to be regarded by the immortals oddly. "Another fucking cat?" Hidan snapped, crossing his arms.

Kakuzu smacked him.

"Ah, Sakana. I was just getting to that." Pein turned to the miser, "She is now in your care, please take care of her well."

"I bite," I warned, startling the pair. "So be nice. No sacrificing... Or selling."

"What the fuck?!" Hidan exclaimed, jumping into his chair. "Jashin have mercy on me."

"It.. talked." Kakuzu deadpanned.

"She." I corrected.

"Wait why the fuck do we have to take care of the creepy talking cat?" Hidan asked, pointing at me accusatorily. "Seriously, what the hell."

Kakuzu nodded in agreement.

"Well, seeing as Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, and Zetsu all have cats-"

"If I may..." I cut in, apologizing silently when Pein's rinnegan turned on me. "See the thing is, Kisame, Sasori, and Zetsu kind of... changed the others back... into humans," I explained, awkwardly nodding toward the door where the three cloaked girls stood, waiting to be addressed.

Pein dropped his head in his hands, sighing. "Konan!" He suddenly called, standing up as the blue-haired girl came in from an adjoining room.

"Oh, my." She said.

"I'm out. You deal with this." He walked through the door she had come from. "I'm going to take a nap."

Konan shrugged and took his place at the desk. "Hidan, you're dismissed. Kakuzu, stay. Girls, have a seat." Automatically in business mode, she gestured towards the table on the other side of the room, and the three sat down quietly. Kisame, Sasori, and Zetsu followed suit. Deidara lingered in the doorway, but Konan just shooed him out. Tobi was nowhere to be found.

"Alright, let's get down to business."

As we explained our revelation of the ominous curse, she nodded. "Makes sense, true loves kiss will break the spell." She was intrigued to discover that the three most unlikely members were the ones to have their 'true loves' fall into their laps.

"And Sakana hasn't tried Kakuzu or Hidan, but I think she's content just being a cat."

I nodded. "I give up, it's probably not going to happen unless I go around kissing everybody in the world."

Kakuzu wordlessly picked me up and pulled his mask down to peck me. When nothing happened, he set me back down and returned to his spot leaning against the wall.

"See?" I muttered, pawing at my mouth.

Konan just patted my head, "There, there."

I wallowed in my misery as she directed each couple with instructions- outfit the girls and take care of them while we try to figure out what to do with me, assess them for special abilities, chakra, and their knowledge of the Naruto-verse. They were dismissed, and Suki excitedly locked hands with Kisame. Kira and Sasori silently stood together and left, and Zena followed Zetsu with a soft smile on her face.

As for Kakuzu and I, he was told to make sure Hidan didn't torture me, and I wouldn't bother him. She handed him a bit of cash and murmured something in his ear, then dismissed us. I heard her mumble a few words of exasperation as we left, then she was calling for Pein, presumably to inform him of her decisions.

~akakakakakakakakakakakakaaaatsuki!~

Kakuzu led me to his quarters, then pointed out Hidan's to me. "I guess I'll give you the room in between ours," he told me as he unlocked the door. "I was using it to hold my extra money, but I'll just put it somewhere else."

I thanked him, following him into the room. He wasn't exaggerating about the extra cash- the room was piled high with stacks of bills. I walked into his room and jumped onto his bed. Might as well take a nap while he's preparing my quarters.

I dozed for a while before Kakuzu finally came back into the room, huffing about my being on his bed. I just stuck my tongue out at him, knowing he couldn't hurt me.

I hopped off of his bed and stalked back into my room, discovering that it now had a bed, a desk, and a dresser. Not that I needed any of them right now.

Kakuzu had kept the room pretty clean, probably from not wanting his precious money to get dusty or dirty. He had changed the bedding, even though it was senseless. He had also lit a few candles around the room, allowing a decent source of light to infiltrate the space.

I called out thanks to him, before deciding to explore the base a little.

Okay, I was moping about being forever alone. I was so lost in my pouting, that I managed to find my way to the kitchen. It was empty, but I wasn't worried about that. My focus was on the completely normal looking kitchen door, complete with a doggy flap. Which was open.

I looked around and crawled through, discovering a large, fenced-in back yard. I found a nice spot in the dwindling sunlight on a surprisingly nice picnic table and began thinking my way through my current situation.

I could just remain a cat forever, it's not that bad... But I also want to figure out why we're here. Why us? I was brought from my reverie by Suki and Kisame exiting the house. Suki was tugging along a disgruntled looking Kira. Zena followed absently, quietly humming.

"Hello, Sakana!" Suki's blue-eyed gaze landed on me. She beamed, her pale blonde curls glinting in the sunlight. The excited girl practically skipped over to me to pet me. I sighed, accepting the assault.

"So, whatcha gonna do?" She asked, scratching behind my ears. I involuntarily purred.

"Mm, haven't decided yet. Cat life has its perks."

Kisame chuckled, his voice husky and deep. "Yeah, but won't you miss... your old body?" He asked awkwardly.

"Meh. Maybe."

Kira poked me, sticking her tongue out as I looked at her. "What if it's Hidan?"

I shuddered. "He probably doesn't even have a soul," everyone voiced their agreement, and I closed my eyes, basking in the sun and almost orgasmic touches.

My attention-whoring was short-lived due to Sasori and Deidara coming to retrieve Kira for some nonsense Pein ordered.

Kisame and Suki went inside too, and I found myself desolate and destitute. Deciding to return to my "caretakers", I followed a surprisingly good scent trail back inside and through the hallways. All you had to do was look for the chemically smell of Hidan's hair gel.

Well, smell for... But you know what I mean. I strolled into Kakuzu's room to find... The old man sleeping. I sighed, then deciding to try to talk to Hidan without getting killed. I tend to be annoying sometimes.

Finding the zealot's door slightly opened, I slinked in. He was sitting inside of his God's runes, seemingly meditating. His skin was black as if he were performing a ritual, but he wasn't sacrificing anything.

I watched him intently for a while, before he finally sighed, his skin fading back to its normally pasty white color.

"Whaddya want, bitch?" He asked, cracking one magenta eye open to look at me.

I attempted a Cheshire grin but failed. "I'm bored. What were you doing?"

He stood up, dusting off his pants. "Not that it's any of your fuckin' business, but praying."

"To Jashin?" I asked, curiosity piquing. Neither the anime or manga went into Jashinism, and I was interested. "Where I come from, Jashinism is all about living in harmony, with no fear of pain. They're all pacifists, too. I think. I briefly researched it, but there's nothing really interesting."

Hidan just kinda looked surprised anyone was asking about his religion. "Yeah, To Jashin."

He briefly explained that he was a prophet of Jashin, and he was only able to harm those that were deemed heathens. Anyone who rejected Jashin. He did feel pain, but it wasn't necessarily painful. It reminded him of his humanity, and his deed set before him by his God.

I was awestruck that he had a deeper personality than, 'kill, kill, kill'. After a while of talking about stupid subjects, I took to pestering him again, now amused by how easy it was to get under his skin. He didn't like the word, 'pussy'.

And that's how I ended up being chased through the hallway at 2 am. That's how Hidan cruelly stepped on my tail, then picked me up to scowl at me. As to how he seemingly tripped on thin fucking air, I'll never have any real proof, but I think I may have seen a certain plant man slipping back into the shadows.

All I noticed were lips on my nose, a quiet poof, and sudden drops of blood landing on my face.

I think I shrieked as loud as I could.

Seeing as we were just outside of Kisame, Itachi, and Suki's rooms, they responded first.

Hidan was suddenly yanked off of me, and I curled into a ball to hide. Kisame was tearing into Hidan about consent and how to not bring strange women into the compound while they were still alive, and the zealot was wiping the last remnants of his nose bleed away. Itachi spun on his heel to retreat into his room when Suki suddenly perked up.

"I recognize that hair color. Sakana, is that you?" A blanket was tossed onto me, and I locked eyes with the blonde and waved.

"Uh, hi I guess.."

"Sakana you are... so fuckin' hot." Suki giggled, having gotten a good eyeful. "And is that an Akatsuki tattoo I spy? Very nice."

I blushed, adjusting the blanket around me as I sat up. "Had to fuckin' be Hidan."

I feared I would be forever mocked by Kira.

Hidan, however, heard my comment. "Fuck you, bitch."

"In your dreams," I stuck my tongue out at him, as Kisame dropped him from being pressed against the wall. He was like a giant guard dog. I loved it.

"Well... what do I do now?" I asked, looking at Itachi, who shrugged and returned to his room. "Damn antisocial Uchiha's." Suki helped me get up without exposing myself, and I sighed and cursed my lack of clothes. I could use a good stretch right now.

I saw Deidara, Sasori, and Kira appear, a knowing smirk immediately appearing on the raven-haired girl's face.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you bitch," I sneered, my face flushing hotly.

She didn't say anything, I just knew what she was thinking.

"Well, now you can talk to Pein-sama..." Suki pointed out.

I glared at Hidan, who was checking me out, "Not before I get some fucking clothes on."

Kisame smacked the zealot on the back of the head before grabbing Suki's hand and leading her to her room. Sasori grunted something and Deidara cackled before they, too left.

"Well, come on, bitch," Hidan said, turning to go back to our designated bedrooms.

I made sure to stay behind him and out of his reach. Just because we're 'soul mates' or whatever doesn't mean that we have to be together... Right?

Hidan didn't say a word to me as we ventured back to the hallway housing our rooms. He probably felt as awkward as I did.

He was pretty decent about getting me something other than the weasel's blanket to wear. He banged on Kakuzu's door to wake the miser up and even took the lecture from him before stabbing aside to show him that I was no longer a cat.

Kakuzu handed me a very large shirt, and Hidan gave me a set of boxers that I wouldn't have to hold up to wear. I dressed silently as Kakuzu grumbled something to Hidan and then flopped back into his bed.

Making sure I was decent, (meaning that I was completely covered in Kakuzu's shirt), I

joined Hidan in the hall and followed him to the kitchen.

Everyone had likely gone back to bed, but I awkwardly sat on one of the barstools by the counter as he rummaged around the kitchen and cursed quietly.

Tiring if the silence, I asked him what he was doing, and he turned his piercing gaze on me. "Making some fucking tea," he deadpanned as if it were obvious.

I had been too caught up watching him move around that I hadn't noticed he was indeed boiling water in a kettle and had set two teacups aside.

"Oh. Duh." I sighed, looking at my nails. They had grown a bit in the short time I was a cat, which was pretty surprising. My hair seemed to grow a few inches, too.

"So is that your natural hair color?" Hidan's question caught me off guard.

"No," I replied, absently dragging my fingers through my long red locks. "It was naturally black."

"Was?" He cocked an eyebrow at me as he poured the boiling water over the tea bags.

"Mm," I confirmed, watching the tea steep in the cups. "Orange hibiscus?"

"Uchiha told me this shit opens the spiritual pathways or some shit." Hidan half-ass explained, pushing one of the cups toward me.

I just liked the taste, personally.

Hidan sipped his tea, staring at the wall behind me. It was tense, Hidan wasn't acting how I expected him to be, but I didn't dare voice the thought.

After a few moments of awkward tea-drinking, Hidan perked up. "Wanna see some cool shit?"

"Why not?" It's not like I hated Hidan. He was one of my favorite characters. But I wasn't really happy about a brash, loud-mouthed murderer being my soul mate or some shit.

Yeah, we're both alike in our love of profanity and acts of stupidity, but I was raised by Catholics. They preached peace and hatred of the gays, and Hidan's a psychopathic zealot with homicidal tendencies. Given, he claimed he was a prophet of his religion, but he was more of a religious extremist.

As I monologued internally, Hidan carried his teacup towards the door and opened it, before realizing that I was spaced out. "Earth to cat-bitch," he called, and I snapped to attention, standing up and exiting the base behind him, closing the door behind me.

The sky was dark and mostly clear, the stars glittering behind the sparse clouds. Hidan and I sat on the picnic table, our bare shoulders inches apart.

"This is nice," I commented, shivering in the crisp night air.

"Mhm. Pretty fuckin' good for meditation if you ask me."

"I didn't," I teased.

"You bitch," Hidan mock gasped. I giggled at his antics, looking back up that the sky.

"You know, I expected... something else," I admitted, hugging my knees to my chest. "Every time you appear in the manga or anime, you're brash..." I looked over at him, meeting his eyes as he shrugged. "It's dorky, but I've spent countless hours obsessing over the Akatsuki. I know each member's likes, dislikes, past, future, everything. And everything I've ever read about you portrays you as a psycho mega-asshole."

Hidan snorted at this. "Yeah well, they're fuckin' wrong. Bitch ass losers."

I laughed, trying to dismiss all of the preconceived expectations I had of him.

"Can you tell me more about Jashin-sama?" I asked, "I'd like to know as much as you can tell me."

Hidan was pretty excited to inform me of his religion, and I was keen to hear it. We talked for hours until the sun started to rise and more clouds crept into the sky.

I had been so caught up in the conversation, I didn't notice the rain start to drizzle until Hidan cursed and practically dragged me inside.

"What were you two doing out there?" Suki asked from the barstool I had previously sat in.

"Talking."

"Uh-huh. Kisame and I talked a lot too," she winked at me, and I noticed the shark-nin bk

blush and facepalm.

"About Jashin," I added.

"Ah, yeah... Hidan won't stop when he gets on a roll about his God," she sighed.

I left the kitchen with Hidan, following the silver-haired missing-nin to Pein's office.

Hidan and I walked down the hall in silence, and I wondered how he felt about having a strange chick suddenly appear in his life as his 'true love'. We reached Pein's office before I got a chance to ask.

He knocked on the door and Pein told us to enter. We sat next to each other, under the creepy stare of the Leader.

"Good morning," I said, trying to break the awkward and tense silence.

"Due to unknown reasons, four alien women appear in my secret hideout as cats, and are the soul mates of four of my subordinates." Pein sounded pretty irritated.

"I can't explain it any differently than I did yesterday," I offered, but a glare from the man was sharp, and shut me up quickly.

He addressed Hidan, "You are to examine her to test her physical abilities and send both Sakana and Kakuzu back to me once you are finished. Dismissed."

"Hai," Hidan confirmed, opening the office door and walking out. I waved goodbye to Pein, who just rolled his eyes and pointed at the door.

Hidan begrudgingly led me through the hallways and into a room large enough to fit a football stadium.

His hands suddenly were pressing against my sides, and I felt the warmth from his hands through the shirt.

"Hey!" I shouted, shoving his hands away.

"It's for the exam, dumbass."

Oh. "Sorry," I muttered, allowing his hands to touch me again. "Don't try anything. I will fucking cut you."

"I'd like that," his voice was soothing and husky. I was suddenly aware of how close we were. One of Hidan's too warm hands reached up to touch my face, and I relaxed into his warmth.

"I bet you would," I smirked, feeling his breath ghost across my lips. Oh my god, he's really hot.

Suddenly, his hands were on my cheeks, his mouth pressing an urgent kiss to mine. And I kissed him back. For a minute.

I pulled myself away as his hands started to explore. "...that's enough of that."

"You're not that bad, bitch." Hidan said after a moment, "I kind of like you, you aren't as stupid as I thought you were."

I rolled my eyes at the backhanded compliment, ignoring the burning urge to kiss him again. What can I say? Shit-talking attracted me.

"So, did you find what you were looking for?" Nice topic-change, Sakana.

When the zealot gave me a confused look, I just kind of motioned to my body. "Ah, you have a very small amount of chakra," he said, to my surprise. "Seeing as you're from another fuckin' world or whatever, I'd say your stupid planet doesn't use chakra?"

"Yeah, its kind of not widely mentioned where I'm from," I replied, thinking about healing crystals and chakras aligning or whatever. "Its pretty much horse shit, anyways."

"I'm not gonna explain Chakra to you." He told me, "I've got better things to do."

"Like sacrificing goats?" I quipped.

He snorted, "Only if I don't have any spare human sacrifices."

I balked. Was that a joke? "Did you just make a sacrifice joke at me?" I asked.

"If you have to ask, you don't deserve to know." He stretched, giving me a nice view of his muscles. I may have drooled. "Your turn to bother the old cunt. He's probably still counting his money right now."

We left the training room and made it back to our hallway. "Gonna go pass out. Fuck off and leave me alone for at least 10 hours." With that, Hidan slammed his door and left me alone to pester Kakuzu.

I knocked on the door and waited for Kakuzu to open it. I was examining my nails, biting at a sharp piece when Kakuzu opened his door and grunted a "what do you want?"

"Pein requests our presence," I informed him, stepping back to let him close and lock his bedroom door.

When we arrived in Pein's office, the leader asked me what Hidan's conclusions were, and nodded in acceptance when I told him.

"I'd already assumed as much, the others seemed to have a low chakra reserve as well."

"If you already knew, why did you subject me to Hidan almost groping me?" I asked, but Pein just smirked at me.

"Kakuzu, perform the medical examination, and her claims knowledge of our world. Then you are to take her to the village and buy her the necessary items she may require. Dismissed."

It was cold in the infirmary, where Kakuzu took my height, weight, a physical description, and noted medical history and any distinguishable markings on my body.

There was minimal conversation, and I was relieved after the long discussion Hidan and I had.

I didn't realize how tired I was until Kakuzu started asking me about my world, his world, and everything in between, carefully documenting everything I said.

"You may go rest, I'll wake you when we make our trip to the village." I was surprised Kakuzu wasn't complaining about having to spend money on me, but I also assumed there were funds for the member's supplies.

Thankful that Kakuzu practically led me back to my room, I waved him off and fell onto the full-sized bed before passing put in a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was long as hell. I apologize if its a bit boring, but I tried to paint Hidan in a different light. He's a bit OOC.  
> Thank you for reading, as always. Things will pick up soon, more crack and antics will pop up in time.
> 
> ~Mistress-Chan


	3. Shopping, Tonkatsu, and Talks with God

I awoke to Kakuzu prodding me. "I will not tell you again, girl. It is time to leave."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and missing the absence of my contacts. "Yeah, yeah. I'm up." As I stood, he draped a solid black cloak over my head.

I noticed how well it fit, shrugging my arms comfortably. Kakuzu huffed at how long I seemed to be taking. "I've already spoken to Leader-sama about your role in Akatsuki. I'll explain during our travel."

I nodded and zipped the cloak up. There were tons of nifty little pockets. It was cozy, too.

"Let's go, then."

Hidan was audibly snoring in the next room, so I assumed that he wasn't going to be joining us on our little adventure.

We left the base after notifying Pein that we were going to town, Kakuzu taking me through a different door than the kitchen. I voiced my confusion about the convoluted layout of the structure, and Kakuzu explained it to me.

"On the outside, its simply a family home. A strong seal is connecting it to the real hideout. Any foreign chakra, not including you four, will not be allowed entrance, and will only see it as a normal house."

I nodded in understanding, following Kakuzu down the short path to the village.

"As for your specific duties, you are expected to accompany Hidan and me while on missions, and while at the base, you are to cook, clean, and train with any Akatsuki member willing to work with you."

"Ah, so I'm a glorified maid?"

"Essentially. Except you aren't paid. Your payment is us not killing you."

I scoffed. "Yeah, okay."

"Truly, Pein doesn't care too much for this romance nonsense. It provides unnecessary bonds. We're all missing-ninjas. We don't have families."

He wasn't wrong, but we had a reason to be here. We just didn't know it yet.

Our conversation ended as we arrived at our destination. Kakuzu and I went through the store, he directed me to find suitable clothing while he collected the essential ninja gear.

I ended up finding some pretty comfortable clothes and grabbed the items in a few different colors, and met Kakuzu at the cash register. After haggling the cashier, he led me out, no doubt content about getting 75% off of the purchase. I was happy to have actual clothes. He handed me the bag with the ninja gear in it, and I looked inside.

"Ah, this store will sell undergarments. Please do not leave until you get a good deal." He deposited some bills in my hand and pushed me towards the store.

Five minutes later, I exited the store with my items hidden securely in the inconspicuous black bag.

Kakuzu asked what kind of deal I had gotten, and I deposited the cash in his hand.

"100% off."

"How?" He asked, amazed at my thrifting skills.

"Mmm, the cashier was a guy. I just had to fake cry a little and tell him some bullshit about being new in town and getting my stuff stolen. He all but begged me to take the stuff, free of charge."

He chuckled, "I'm starting to like you."

Back at the base, Kakuzu directed me to the bathroom in our section of the house, and I scurried off to take a shower and dress in my new clothes.

I turned the shower on in the bathroom, stripping down and stepping into the warm water. I hummed to myself as I scrubbed away the dirt, oblivious to the world.

I was so lost in my head, I didn't even notice Hidan enter the bathroom until he was in the shower with me.

I shrieked and shoved him away, causing him to slip, fall, and smack his head against the wall.

I jumped out of the shower and quickly wrapped myself in a towel, before turning on the naked zealot.

"What the fuck, dude?" I shouted, shielding my eyes from him.

"You were taking too long," he replied, standing up and closing the curtain. "You can go now."

I huffed out a few choice words to him, but grabbed my things and left the bathroom. I made it back to my bedroom fairly quickly, where I dried my body and hair with the towel, then dressed in the items that Kakuzu and I had purchased.

I chose a black camisole, it was made of a flexible and pretty sturdy material, and ended right above my belly button. I also wore a pair of dark gray mid-thigh length cargo pants with plenty of pockets. I slipped my feet into a pair of plain black sandals and left the room.

I joined Suki, Zena, and Kisame in the living room and sat down next to Zena, across from Suki and Kisame. Kira was sitting by the fire, in one of the armchairs. Figures.

"So..." Suki began, crossing one of her legs carefully. "Tell us what you're thinking."

"Of?"

"Well, being here, for one. And you know... 'the one'. You have to spill."

Suki seemed to be demanding and bubbly and way too familiar. Why did she even care? Is she mocking me?

"Uh, it's pretty fuckin' weird, I guess." She nodded, and I glanced at Kisame and Kira to find them engaged in a battle of rock, paper, scissors. I guess I'm alone in this assault.

"And what about Hidan? Are you two... you know?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively.

I all-but facepalmed. "No, we aren't. I'm a fond believer in the idea that your soul mate doesn't have to have a romantic relationship with you."

"Oh you saucy bitch," Suki cackled. "Itachi and I saw you two kiss this morning."

Kira laughed shortly, sneering at the dirty look I gave her. "You're an asshole, Suki." I cried, burying my face in my hands. "I want to keep it platonic. Or as platonic as it can get."

"Ah, so a classic FWB situation." The blonde nodded sagely, and her sister rolled her eyes.

"What's an F-W-B?" Kisame asked, a confused look on his face. Suki reached over and patted his hand.

"Fuckbuddies," she explained, ignoring the blush creeping up her shark man's face.

"Suki, that's pretty personal, no?" He asked, "Are you trying to kill poor Sakana? She looks like she's going to choke."

I was trying very hard not to.

"Is it not true?" She asked, oblivious.

"No, okay? We kissed and he is very attractive, but I don't know if I'm the relationship type of girl." Not to mention a history of terrible ex-partners.

"Party pooper," Suki sighed, but thankfully dropped the topic.

Before we could get bored and find things to do elsewhere, Hidan sauntered into the room, shirtless and messed-up hair.

"Sup, bitches?" He asked, choosing to plop over the side of the couch, right next to me.

"Just discussing things," Suki replied quickly, "Do you guys want to play a game?"

Nobody responded, and she pouted. Kisame patted her head, and she cheered up almost immediately. They were actually kind of cute.

"Let's play hide and seek," she suggested, but Kira and I both vetoed that idea. After a few minutes and a few shitty game ideas, we settled on playing Go Fish.

As we played, we idly chatted about our backgrounds, in an attempt to bond better. Suki mainly talked about her life with Kira, being protected by the stoic girl from bullies. It was a sweet story, but my image of a child Kira was a Chucky-like little cretin. Zena grew up on a farm, and lived a peaceful hick life, before going to college and being exposed to anime by her friends. The rest was just a lot of goofy stories about their lives, plus a few jokes about the Akatsuki members in the room.

Kisame threatened to beat me and Zena a few times, and Hidan promised to sacrifice all of us at some point, but we had fun.

Kira had somehow won every game of Go Fish we had played, and we all lost interest when Hidan rage-quit and stormed off to his room.

Zena muttered something about making dinner and wandered off, and Kira left to go gloat to Sasori about being better at children's card games than murderers and other 20-something-year-old females.

This left Suki, Kisame, and me in the living room, awkwardly watching each other.

I sighed for about the fifth time, and Suki sat up. "So, tell me more about the mysterious Sakana. You hardly said anything about yourself."

"There isn't a lot to tell. I grew up with my mom and dad in Bumfuck, Egypt. I had hardly any friends, I moved abroad when my parents died. I've had a few relationships that didn't end well, that's it. My life is boring. I read any book I can find, and I like tea. That's it."

The blonde girl across from me whistled, "You're like... The epitome of lame."

"Wow, you bitch." I stood up, "What time is it?"

Kisame checked his non-existent watch. "7:12. Approximately."

I didn't doubt his ninja skills, so I accepted the answer. "I'm going to go pester Zena for food."

In the kitchen, Zena hummed to herself while fluttering around the kitchen. I sat at the barstool and watched her, wondering what she was cooking up. The smell of soy sauce and hot grease filled the air, and my stomach grumbled. I hadn't eaten anything yet.

"Tonkatsu sounds good, right?" Zena asked me, setting down the pair of chopsticks she was cooking with. I nodded, drooling at the thought of fried pork and yummy rice. "Glad to know I'm not crazy."

"Not that crazy," I corrected, smiling. "We're all a little crazy, no?" She smiled back, sweetly. She reminded me of a short-haired Megumi from Food Wars! She was sweet and gentle and seemed to know what she was doing. She didn't get as flustered as the shy chef did, but she did fumble a bit.

I watched her busy herself with cooking and prepared myself a cup of tea to sip. I might have an addiction. Soon, she had finished cooking and left to go gather the members and inform them that dinner was ready.

I began plating the food, scooping heaving helpings of rice onto plates and covering it with the juicy-fried pork and the tasty tonkatsu sauce that Zena had graciously prepared. Finishing my task and grabbing one of the eleven bowls of food, I entered the dining room and sat down at one of the many chairs. Suki came in next, followed by her shark and her sister. Sasori came only to continue his discussion with Kira. Deidara sat next to his Danna, who sat across from me and to Kira's right. Suki sat to my right and Kisame sat to hers. Hidan came in, cursing at how hot the food still was, and opted to take up the empty seat on my left.

At some point, Itachi appeared in the room, but I was interested in the debate Sasori and Kira were having, which was about which wood was better for carving. I wasn't interested in the actual topic of conversation, but the ease at which they talked. It was really cute, and I kind of shipping it. I left the room with my empty bo and discovered Zetsu and Zena eating at the bar in the kitchen. They seemed to be enjoying the moment, so I didn't bother talking to them.

After dinner, things were calm, and everyone retreated to their rooms, having spent enough of the day pestering other people.

I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, itching to have a book to read or something meticulous to do to pass the time. Knowing better than to sleep until my mind was too exhausted to create any vivid horrors in my sleep, I was bored.

I would have honestly killed for a little bit of weed. Unfortunately, I don't think marijuana existed inside of the Naruverse. Tiring of watching the wall, I stood up and crept to the door connecting Hidan's room and mine. I knocked first to make sure he wasn't busy and entered when he asked me what I fuckin' wanted.

"Do you think you can help me meditate?" I asked, embarrassed to even be considering the idea. "I don't want to read Hunter-nin Weekly again."

He shrugged before sliding from his bed to his floor. "Can't sleep?"

"Nah, not tired." I lied.

"Mmkay. Sit." I sat down across from him, mirroring his cross-legged position. "Take a deep breath in through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth."

I did as he said, repeating the action a few times.

"When you're ready, close your eyes." I slowly let my lids fall closed, still breathing as directed.

The rhythmic action was soothing, and with Hidan's surprisingly gentle guidance, I soon found myself slipping into myself, opening my mind. I didn't realize I had fallen into a trance until I felt a cool breeze blow through my air, and I opened my eyes, my gaze locking with that of a man's with a fire flickering in his irises.

"Ah, finally," His voice was deep and velvety, pulling me further into the trance. "We meet at last."

"Who are you?" I asked, taking in his appearance. He had stark white skin and long white hair cascading down his back. He wore a black yukata and held a cigar in his hand.

"Now, do you need to ask?" He was right, I knew exactly who He was.   
He felt like death and gave off an aura of power. He was Jashin, Hidan's God.

"Somebody drugged me," I concluded. There was no way I was talking with God. Well, a God."Not quite. I have been trying to get ahold of you, but that's no matter. Here we are now." He sat down across from me, taking up the position Hidan previously sat in. "See, I sent you here for a reason. My prophet will be imprisoned and left to rot should he continue down this path. Prevent this, just as your new comrades are to prevent the deaths of their respective 'partners'.

"Why me? Why couldn't it be someone else, maybe like an actual ninja?" I was so over this soul mate bullshit. 

He smiled at me, His teeth sharp and white. "Well, one only has one true love, no? And who says that soul mates have to come from the same plane of existence?"

I sighed, accepting my fate. "So I'm just supposed to prevent Hidan's death, right?"

Jashin nodded, "And then you are free to go home if you choose to do so."

Great.

My eyes opened, and I inhaled sharply. "Oh lord."

Hidan smirked at me. "Have fun?"

I held back the smartass reply of, "Yeah, just had a nice chit-chat with the being you kill people for."That was... eye-opening." I said, scratching my head.

"Do you feel relaxed?" He asked, curious about my experience, no doubt. When I shook my head, he responded with, "Well, that's fuckin weird."

I sat back on my hands and watched the zealot for a moment, wondering how on earth I was supposed to keep him from killing Asuma. Finally starting to form some semblance of a plan, I decided to try to set things in action.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked, watching interest appear in his eyes. "Does Jashin ever, um, talk to you?"

He shrugged. "Rarely. Only if it's fuckin' important. Why? Did He talk to you?"

"Yeah, He asked me to do something," I replied.

"What?" He asked, probably excited about potentially helping on my mission for God.

"This," I said, before leaning forward and pressing my lips to his.


	4. Kissing Criminals and Sleeping Disorders

Hidan seemed to be stunned that I had made the first move for a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and was kissing me back with an equal amount of passion.

He broke our mouths apart to press chaste kisses down my neck, his hands wandering down my sides.

I caught his mouth again, biting at his lip. He gripped my hips, pulling me onto him as he leaned against his bed frame. I moaned into the kiss, running my hand down his lean abdomen. Feeling him start to arouse through his pants, I pulled my hand away, only for it to be caught and returned to its previous position.

I shuddered, pulling back. I'm not ready for this. Standing up and stepping back, I felt warmth spread across my face.

"Cocktease," Hidan scowled, crossing his arms in a huff. I stepped backward again, bumping into the door.

"Sorry- I- uh... I'm going to bed," I sputtered, before leaving the room quickly. "Goodnight, Hidan."

"Goodnight, bitch," Hidan replied as I shut the door. I made sure it was locked from my side, in case he got any ideas.

Once I was in the confines of my room, I plopped onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. Flashes of anxiety at the thought of being forced to do something I didn't want to do made me nauseous, and I didn't bother blowing out the candles and closed my eyes.

After what seemed like forever, the room darkened, and I finally allowed myself to slip into sleep.

\---  
Flashes of lightning lit the room, illuminating the man writhing on top of a blood-soaked girl. Tear tracks ran down the length of her face, cutting a stark line across the blood matted to her cheeks.

"Please," she whimpered out, as he raised the knife to her once more. "Please."

But please him she could not. He sliced her skin open one last time, reveling in the pained scream she let out, finally achieving his intended state of bliss in a mostly-silent shudder.  
\---  
Third Person  
\---  
Sakana sat up in a cold sweat, the images of her nightmare replaying in her brain.

She needed something to distract her brain, so she gathered a change of clothes and crept out of her room and into the bathroom across the hall.

The shower was hot and soothing, easing her mind and relaxing her tense muscles. She absently traced her fingers over the scars littering her thighs and stomach, the largest stretching across her stomach in a jagged diagonal line. Bile rose at the memory and she sank to the ground, curling herself into a ball beneath the spray.

She hadn't meant to doze off, but something was comforting about a hot shower. She didn't stir when a certain zealot grew tired of waiting for the bathroom and barged in, and she certainly didn't wake when said zealot turned the now-cool water off and covered her with a towel before carrying her back to her bed.

This time, she slept comfortably and peacefully.  
\---  
First Person- Suki  
\---  
I woke up early to Kisame poking me. "Suki~." He called gently, as my eyes fluttered open. I got to take in his muscled form for a minute, snuggling into his warm chest.

"Not right now, Kisa-bae." I groaned, internally cursing light for existing.

"My love, you've said that ten times already. We have a mission today, remember?"

I rolled over and sighed, sitting up. I pouted for a second before grumbling. I'm supposed to go with them, right. "Okay, okay. I'll get up. But-" I looked at him and smirked, "You're gonna have to dress me."

My big blue shark chuckled, and my inner fangirl almost died. "Deal."

Did I forget to mention that I tend to sleep in the nude? Kisame didn't seem to mind.

He did a pretty decent job of gathering clothes for me and even offered to put my long white-blonde hair up as I dressed. I ended up doing it myself, opting to pull it into a ponytail at the crown of my head. I grinned at him and he kissed my forehead before quietly murmuring about how beautiful I was. I preened at the attention and let him drape my plain-black cloak over my shoulders before we left his room to meet up with Itachi.

He was in the kitchen, finishing a cup of tea before we left on our week-long journey.

I found Kira in the living room, reading a book out of Itachi's collection. "Hey," I said softly, sitting down next to my sister. "Pein is sending me with Kisame and Itachi. We'll be back in a week," I informed her, and she nodded quietly.

"Please be safe," she said, taking my hand in hers. "I'll kill everybody and then myself if anything happens to you." I giggled and kissed her hand.

"I'll only be going with them to look for landmarks that may or may not be Orochimaru's hideout," I said. "Pein wants Sasuke, especially now that he knows how strong his potential is."

Kira looked at me, slightly amused. "Do you think that we may have just fucked up this whole world's structure by giving the Akatsuki any information?"

I shrugged, "Meh. As long as I get my shark, I'm cool."

Kira closed her eyes and squeezed my hand. "I'll see you in a week."

I kissed her cheek and stood up, letting go of her hand. "If Sasori doesn't make sure you take care of yourself while I'm gone, I'll kill him faster than he can say Pinnochio."

She chuckled, then waved at me.

I turned to leave, before remembering that I had something to tell Sakana. I promised Kisame that I'd only be a minute, and walked to her bedroom. I knocked three times and waited a moment before entering.

She was passed out, sprawled across her bed. Seeing as she was only covered by a towel, I smirked but silently left the room. I could wait a week to tell her.  
\---  
Sakana  
\---  
I blinked a few times to clear my eyes, having awoken sometime during midday. I immediately realized I was naked, and had a mini panic attack, quickly dressing and storming into Hidan's room for an explanation.

He grumbled something about me falling asleep in the shower, and he just carried me to bed.

He then reminded me that he had already seen me naked, and my temper died down a little.

I was about to leave when he held out one of his arms to me and demanded, "C'mere."

I hesitantly leaned closer to him, and he pulled me down onto the bed next to him, immediately curling around me.

"Hidan," I said, stilling.

"Shut up, I heard you crying in your sleep last night."

He was trying to comfort me? "Why are you doing this?" I asked cautiously.

Hidan grunted, and I basked in his smell for a moment, forgetting that I was trying not to get too close to the immortal. "You didn't sleep much, just shut up and close your eyes."

Seeing no escape from the madman's grip, I tried to relax my posture, hoping to melt into the floor like Zetsu. When it didn't happen, I closed my eyes and tried breathing deeply.

After a few moments of laying in Hidan's arms, I felt the tug of sleep. Unfortunately, before I could drift off, Hidan shifted and I found myself cursing at him and slapping his arm. He chuckled sleepily and pressed a soft kiss to the back of my head. "You're kinda cute when you're sleepy, bitch." I felt my heart jump, but I ignored it.

"Mmm, shut the fuck up," I replied, snuggling deeper into his arm.

I awoke sometime later, legs wrapped in Hidan's, my head laying on his chest.

"Mornin', bitch," he lazily muttered, and as I looked up I noticed he was playing with his rosary. I flushed and attempted to untangle myself.

I gave up in my efforts, and let him expertly retract his legs. "Hey," I called as he looked at me. "Why?"

"Just thought you'd sleep better if you weren't alone," he replied. "I always do."

"Ugh. Pig." I groaned, catching his meaning and sitting up.

"Don't get dirty, bitch. I mean that I tend to sleep better if I know I'm not completely alone."

I rolled my eyes, "Right."

He chuckled again, and I felt that pang in my heart again. Oh my, Jashin he's so fucking hot.

"When you said you talked to Jashin, were you fucking with me?"

I turned toward him and tucked my left foot under my right leg. "No, he talked to me. He told me why we're all here, and what we're supposed to do." I explained, having no reason to lie. "See, you're supposed to die. Kind of."

"Bitch I'm im-"

"Immortal, yes. But if someone were to say... cut you into a million pieces and bury you..." I began.

"Malnourishment," he concluded. "That's a shitty death."

"Mhm." I agreed. "For some reason, you're important to Jashin, and he wants me to save you. Somehow."

Hidan was speechless. "...Okay."

I shrugged. "See, this person kills you because you killed someone important to them for a bounty."

"That's so stupid." Hidan finally said. "If anything, I'd kill 'em for Jashin."

Hidan didn't want to hear more about his death, which was understandable. I guess I just have to make sure Kakuzu and Hidan don't go after Asuma.

"So, do you want to talk about this soul mate business?" I finally asked.

I felt him shrug. "What's there to talk about?" He asked.

"I don't know," I confessed. "I'm not ready to jump into a relationship."

Again, he shrugged. "Doesn't have to be," he agreed. "Unless you want it to."

A sigh escaped. "To be honest, I don't know." He patted my head and shifted in the small bed. Hidan was nice if you didn't belittle his religion. He was so sexy, funny, and surprisingly a good conversationalist. He also wasn't a sex-crazed pervert, which was an added plus.

"I had some.. shit happen to me," I said. "And that left me pretty fucked up. I don't want to rush into fucking you right after I met you."

"As much fun as that would be," Hidan sighed, "Don't force yourself."

"Thanks, Hidan."

He had his arms crossed behind his head, and cracked an eye open at me. "Don't mention it. Now get out before people start getting ideas."

I shrugged, "Not yet." And I laid back down on his arm, curling into his warmth. "I want more warmth from my Jashinist."

After about 10 minutes, Hidan grumbled about having to piss and left to go take care of business. I retreated to my room, feeling sufficiently comforted.

"Sakana, leader requests our presence." Kakuzu's deep voice startled me. "Seeing as you don't have a ring, he asked me to bring you. Though seeing as you were already with Hidan, he could have just as easily taken you."

"Phrasing," I said, following him out of the room and down the hallway. "We were talking, by the way."

"I'm sure," Kakuzu grunted. "By the way you continue crying in your sleep, I won't hesitate to remove your tear ducts."

Ah, the joys of living with psychopaths.

"Can't help it," I yawned. "Like how you can't help but love money."

I could almost feel his motley eyes roll.

"Shut up," he retorted as we reach Pein's office.

Inside, Hidan was waiting with the pierced leader of Akatsuki.

"Three high-ranking bounties are meeting in Yugakure. You will kill all three, collect the bounties, and return in no more than two weeks. Sakana you will join them. Go prepare." He dismissed me, giving the two immortals information on their targets. I left the room grumbling about stupid ninjas and them calling you halfway across the hideout only to say one sentence and shoo you away.

I headed back to my room and busied myself with grabbing my meager supply of items to take on the trip and stuffing them into the pouches Kakuzu had bought for me. By the time I had finished filling it and attaching them to my belt, Hidan and Kakuzu appeared in my doorway, waiting for me to finish.

It seems they were already prepared to leave.

"You will behave on this trip," he began, making me feel like a kid on their way to Disneyland. "You are only accompanying us because the others have conflicting missions."

"I'm not a child, Kakuzu. I don't need a babysitter." I was a little bit bitter about that.

"Ah, but you are our ward, and Leader demanded it, so you are going with us."

I just shrugged and dropped it, slipping my cloak over my shoulders. "I guess I'm ready now. Let's go."

We exited the base and Hidan stopped to let me climb onto his back. He carried me for a few hours, then traded me off to Kakuzu, who scoffed at how light I was and made a comment about Hidan being weak, which triggered the zealot's ire.

The rhythmic falls of Kakuzu's steps lulled me into a light sleep, with the occasional odd step of slight pause stirring me and waking me from whatever random daydream had been playing in my mind.

There were a few snippets of conversation, though each bout of talking didn't last long.

"No, we go that way," the white ferret said, pointing one way at a crossroad.

The brown octopus next to him shook his head and pointed the other way, where a sign indicated something I couldn't read.

The walking resumed for a while, but an odd conversation caught my attention.

"You've grown fond of the cat," one deep voice said.

"She's not a heathen like the rest of you," another voice replied. "She has the potential to be great."

There was a snort, and call of, "Fuck you," from the higher-pitched voice.

"Leader-sama will extract all of the information from each of the girls, and then they will be disposed of."

My eyes snapped open, but the conversation continued.

"Maa, that's pretty lame." Hidan said, "I wanted to convert Sakana."

"What, and make the girl become a murderer? Good luck." Kakuzu was kind of a dick.

"She's very interested in the word of Jashin."

"Leader has other plans. Take the girl, we'll be stopping soon for the night."

I quickly feigned sleep and stirred a little as Kakuzu handed me off to Hidan.

"Hey," I breathed sleepily into his neck, relishing his scent. "What time is it?"

"Nearly sunset. We are stopping for the night in a village in the border between the land of Rivers and the land of Fire." Hidan explained to me. "Yugakure is pretty much a straight fuckin' shot from here, but Konohagakure is right in the way."

"This adds three days to our trip avoiding such a large village," Kakuzu grumbled. "We could go north, but I don't want to have to buy the brat snow boots."

"South it is," Hidan concluded.

We arrived at the village about an hour after the sun had set, and Kakuzu quickly procured us a room at a cheap inn in the shady part of the village.

It was a double twin-sized room, and when I complained about the obvious shortage of beds, he left the room and returned with a tatami mat, which he graciously threw at me feet. "Shut up."

I sighed and situated the hard bedroll, placing it between the two-bed frames. My back is going to hate me for this.

Kakuzu mumbled something about being quiet, and promptly rolled over and fell asleep on his bed.

Hidan sat up from his lounged position on the other bed, and his stomach grumbled loudly. "You hungry too, bitch?" I nodded, and he stood up.

"Let's go get a bite." He said, stretching. "I know a good ramen place around here."

We left the sketchy motel and Hidan led me through back alleys until we reached the main road cutting through the small village. Following it into the heart of the town, we found the little ramen stand and I sat down at one of the tables further away from the road and waited for Hidan to retrieve the delicious noodles.

He returned a few minutes later with two bowls of ramen. "Watch out, it's fuckin' hot."

I nodded in appreciation and took to playing with a noodle while it cooled. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

I nodded again and ate the noodle I was toying with.

We ate in relative silence, save for some obnoxious slurping. When our food was gone, Hidan returned the ceramic bowls to the stand and led me back to the inn.

"I'm not tired," I sighed, now laying on the mat, enjoying the feeling of a full belly.

Hidan snorted, "Yeah, you just kind of slept while we carried you." He was lounging on his bed again, this time his head was propped in his hand.

I rolled my eyes.

After a few minutes if silence, I was bored. "Can we talk outside?" I asked, not wanting to bother Kakuzu with our idle conversation. I hadn't been expecting him to agree, but we left the room and sat outside the door.

We sat shoulder to shoulder, our backs against the door.

"What did you want to talk about?" Hidan asked. "I'm getting fucking tired."

I apologized, drawing my knees to my chest. "I want to be a ninja," I admitted. "But I want it to mean something."

"Does world peace not fit your idea?" He asked, his gaze suddenly piercing me.

I scoffed. "Akatsuki wanted to kill you until they found out you weren't one of Orochimaru's reanimations. Pein has no use for us."

"Yeah, you are pretty useless as you are," he agreed, chuckling at the scornful look I shot him.

"Gee, thanks," I commented dryly. "I'm amazed at the sheer amount of faith you have in me."

Hidan laughed, and I was drawn in by his hotness for a moment. "Convert," he suddenly said, completely serious. "Then you'll be immortal and you'll be useful."

"I'm not a murderer." I retorted, hating how it sounded.

His eyes steeled. "And there's something wrong with sacrificing those unworthy of Him?"

"There's something wrong with killing innocent people!"

He sighed. "They don't have to be innocent."

I rubbed my nose. "You're worse than the Jehovah's Witnesses."

"Is that another mercenary group?" Hidan asked, confused.

"No, they're a- you know what? Nevermind."

"Whatever you say, bitch. Anyways, please consider converting. I'd hate to have a heathen 'soul mate'."

I only nodded, copying him as he stood up.

"I need to pray." Hidan suddenly muttered, "Go inside and I'll be back soon."

"Okay," I replied, silently opening the door and retreating inside.

Sure enough, Hidan returned twenty minutes later, stumbling over the threshold of the door and flopping into his bed. This earned him an angry grunt from Kakuzu.

I finally fell into a restless sleep, with a zealot snoring in one of my ears, and a miser shifting uncomfortably on a squeaky bed frame in my other.


	5. What the F**k Just Happened?

I woke up with not one, but two immortals bitching about how long I was sleeping.

"I'm awake, dammit." I finally groaned, sitting up.

"You look like you tried to fuck a Raiton user," Hidan snickered.

"Better that than looking like I used my head to fuck a jar of hair gel," I retorted. He sneered at me while Kakuzu laughed.

We continued south, the two trading me off. This time, I managed not to nap, instead opting to pester the immortals until they threatened bodily harm. Then, I would loudly give myself a point for irritating them. So far, I had 12 points- 9 from Hidan, and 3 from Kakuzu.

"Sakana, enough." Kakuzu finally snapped, and I pouted.

"Alright, Kakuzu." I reluctantly sighed, crossing my arms, remembering a game I had used to play with my cousins during long trips. "I spy something... tan."

"Its the dirt," Hidan said. "That's the only fucking thing there is around here." He kicked up a pile of sand, making me cough and sputter from my position on his back.

"Asshole," I hissed, covering my mouth and nose. "And no, it's not the dirt."

Hidan stopped walking and leaned down to deposit me on the ground. I slinked off of him, but Kakuzu didn't stop to let me climb onto his back. I only shrugged and found myself walking alongside the two of them down the path. Hidan side-eyed me.

"What is it, then?"

I chuckled and nodded at Kakuzu. "His skin."

Hidan barked out a laugh, and I joined in. Kakuzu turned to look at us, glaring. "Pick up the pace, or I'll make you."

I sped up, my short legs burning to keep up with the two trained ninjas. "Not my fault I have corgi legs," I grumbled at the same time Hidan said, "It's not her fault she's fuckin' short." I glared at him, then stuck out my tongue.

The conversation died out shortly after, and we walked for a while before Kakuzu decided we needed to set the pace higher, and slung me over his shoulder before he and Hidan took off running throughout the large tree branches.

After complaining to be put in a more comfortable position, the miser shifted his grip on me and continued his sprint through the trees.

Arriving at the outskirts of a small village, Kakuzu set me down and ordered me to stay until he returned. Hidan sat down at the base of a tree to pray, and I sat a few feet away in the grass, picking at the blades absent-mindedly. After about 15 minutes, Kakuzu returned with rice, meat, and some water. We ate in relative silence, waiting for Hidan to finish his ritual and eat before setting off again.

During our next bout of walking, the landscape changed drastically; the trees spread out sporadically until they were completely gone and we were surrounded with the large, grassy plains of farmland. I counted cows as we passed them, no doubt a blur of color to the placid bovines.

Eventually, I grew bored of the silence and found myself drifting off again as we sped up more, running along the path winding through the pastures.

When we stopped, it was abruptly. I was jarred awake by Hidan's loud curse of "dammit!"

A glance around our surroundings told me we had started back north; we were in a hilly part of the land of fire, and the sun was close to setting.

"We're close to a village occupied by Konoha Ninja," Kakuzu told me quietly. "Hidan, find a cave where we can camp for the night."

While the Jashinist silently crept through the cave, Kakuzu turned to me and placed a small coin pouch in my hand.

"There are small food stands down the road. You will act as a passing wanderer and procure rations for us. Bread and water only."

I nodded, glad to be of some use during our trip, and set off toward my destination. The street was narrow, but not empty.

Kakuzu was right; there were leaf nin ahead of me, standing near one of the vendors.

I chose a different stand to buy from, pretending not to watch the three ninjas a few stalls down.

The old woman wrapped the bread and handed me the canteen of water. I deposited the coins in her hand and nodded at her in thanks. She smiled and waved at me as I turned to leave.

However, I didn't make it far. A hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"Miss, I think you dropped this." One of the leaf-nin had been holding out the empty coin pouch I had dropped.

"Ah, thank you," I smiled, taking the pouch from his hand and turning to leave.

"Are you from around here?" The ninja asked. "What's your name?"

I froze. Oh god no. "My name is Kimiko, and I'm just passing through." I waved my hand, adding, "With my friends."

"Where are they?" His brown eyes flicked behind me.

"Oh, they're setting up camp. I just came for some food." I showed him the bread and water, "Now, I really must go. It was nice meeting you."

I left before he could say anything else, hoping he wasn't watching me as I walked down the road, hopefully out of sight.

Rounding the bend, I nearly bumped into Kakuzu as he jumped down from the trees.

"What took so long?" He grumbled, taking the bread from me.

"One of the leaf-nin stopped me. I think he was into me." I shrugged. "I told him I was with friends we were camping in the woods, then left."

Kakuzu grunted, then picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. We reached Hidan a few moments later, and Kakuzu set me down.

Hidan had found a cave, we entered and Kakuzu used a doton to seal the entrance, then a Katon to ignite a small fire to fend off the cold of the night. Hidan removed his cloak and spread it across the dirt, settling down. I sat against the wall opposite him, watching as he withdrew a small scroll from his side, then unsealed it.

Inside was a small pile of fish. He began grilling the fish over the fire, using a kunai to descale it. After cooking them all, he offered one to me and set about eating his portion. Kakuzu also consumed a small pile, tossing the bones into the fire.

Hidan and I followed suit, each of us mesmerized by the tiny white fishbones charring in the flames.

After some time, I stood up and decided to lay my cloak out as well, bunching part of it under my arm to use as a pillow, then let the crackling of the fire lull me to sleep.

I awoke suddenly, my heart beating fast. Someone's hard settled on the small of my back, and I looked up through teary eyes to see Kakuzu frowning at me.

I wiped my eyes, sniffling slightly.

"You alright now, kid?" Kakuzu asked, seeming sincere. I nodded and he removed his hand.

"Sorry, Kakuzu-san," I mumbled. "I don't remember what I was dreaming about, so I don't know why I'm crying."

"Quiet." He replied, though not harshly. "You kept saying a name, Jun?"

I nodded. "Jun."

He scoffed, then retreated to his previous spot on the wall opposite the entrance of the cave. After a moment, he picked up his discarded kunai and began sharpening it again.

"Sorry," I said again, and he looked up at me.

"Most nightmares are memories of torturous experiences one has endured," he responded after a moment. "I heard quite a bit of your calling out. This Jun didn't treat you too kindly."

I shrugged, confused as to why he would even care. "I guess you could say that."

Kakuzu didn't respond for a few long moments, and I began to think the conversation had ended as abruptly as it had started. "I have an ethics code," he suddenly said, confusing me. "As unbelievable as it seems, it's true. When you are in a romantic relationship with somebody, you don't harm them."

"Look at you, the romantic." I chuckled dryly.

"Hm." The miser responded, returning his now sharpened kunai to its pouch. "I'm aware that I'll be stuck with you for the time being, so I will play nice. However, I'll have you know that I've been married three times."

I scoffed. "I'll believe that when Itachi tells everyone his favorite color is pink."

Kakuzu glared at me, and I shrugged back. "You're a pretty spiteful individual- plus, weddings cost a lot of money."

Kakuzu rolled his motley eyes at me. "Not when your bride is a payment for services rendered," he stated.

"Wow," I whistled. "And what happened to them?"

Kakuzu looked at me as if I was stupid. Which, admittedly... he was right. To a point.

"Death," was all he said. I didn't press the matter but did move a bit closer to him.

After a few more minutes of silence ticked by, I bit my fingernail. "Kakuzu-san," I suddenly called.

"Yes, brat?" The tan murdered raised a brow at me. "What is it?"

I rolled my shoulders against the rock wall I was leaning against, before asking: "What's it like to be strong?"

This time, he chuckled. "Do you want some formal training?"

"More or less. I don't know who I want to be. What type of ninja I'll train to be."

He grunted, understanding me. "My Jutsu is not for you," he finally said. "Though, for a price, I might train you in the basics."

I felt like I was making a deal with the devil, but I agreed anyway. "What price?"

The miser just smirked beneath his mask, a low chuckle escaping him. "We'll just say you owe me a favor."

I inclined my head slightly, imagining what terrible things Kakuzu would ask me to do. "Alright, as long as it's not too bad..."

He made me shake on it, using his Earth Grudge Fear to outstretch his hand to me. I shook it, then he retracted his hand and sat back against the cave wall, quietly telling me to sleep.

When my eyes opened next, Hidan was shrieking and stomping out Kakuzu's fire. The entrance to the cave was still sealed, so the cave filled with smoke fairly quickly.

Kakuzu stood and unsealed the door, leaving Hidan to destroy the evidence we had been in the cave. I sat up and followed the miser outside.

I stumbled out into the daylight, holding a hand in front of my face. "Why are we traveling during the day anyway?" I asked, noting Kakuzu was standing in front of me, quickly thumbing through the bills in his wallet. "Won't that make it easier for us to be spotted?"

The stitched man turned to me, bluntly stating, "They expect us to be moving during the night. We're using the cover of the day."

"Hiding in plain sight," I grinned. "I like it."

I felt Hidan's presence behind me, and I turned my head to greet him. He was unbelievably tense. I looked to Kakuzu to see how odd Hidan was acting, only to notice that he was also alert.

"Guy-" I started, before Hidan's hand clamped over my mouth. "Mmf-"

"Quiet." He growled lowly in my ear. I froze, my ears picking up the snapping of twigs.

"Hidan," Kakuzu ordered almost inaudibly, and the man behind me was gone in a flash, intercepting a ninja suddenly springing at us from the trees.

My eyes met with the miser's before he was suddenly engaged in battle with another random ninja.

My eyes could barely keep up with their movements, much less the sudden crashing of Jutsu and debris flying around me. I lost my balance when the ground shook violently, but before I fell, I was caught in someone's arms. Looking up, I recognized the ninja that had spoken to me the day before.

"Kimiko," he said. "Did they hurt you?"

Oh god. "N-no," I breathed out, hoping to Jashin that my immortals would get me away from this guy.

"You know who they are, right?" His blue eyes pierced mine, he was genuinely concerned. "They're the Akatsuki. We have to get you out of here."

Hidan and Kakuzu were still fighting off the squads of ninja who were waiting to ambush us. And the dumbasses walked right into it.

The man picked me up, then formed a hand sign; teleporting us away. The last thing I saw before blacking out was a surprisingly distraught look on Hidan's face.

"Wake up," a voice gently called me. "Kimiko."

I sat up abruptly, smashing my forehead into the leaf nin's face.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

He was holding his nose, and I noted I had given him a nosebleed. Nice.

"It's okay," he breathed out after a moment. "I shouldn't have had my face right above yours."

I swallowed. "Where are we? And what's your name?"

"My name is Jun," he said, and I held back a wince. "Those men, they are a very dangerous ninja."

And I'm training to be one. I thought but tried to look confused. "The silver-haired one was talking about sacrifice," I said. It wasn't a lie. He did talk about sacrifice. A lot."That's Hidan the Jashinist. Count yourself lucky- he could have murdered you so easily."

No kidding. "Thank you, I suppose."

Jun smiled at me, and I felt a wave of nausea. He shared not only a namesake with the man who tortured me but his eye and hair color as well. That smile was a sick and sinister smile. Twisted by his true intentions. This man was just as dangerous as his namesake was. As he spoke, I felt a pang of terror stab through my chest.

"You're welcome. Although... Considering you weren't harmed in any way, and you don't seem to be shaken up by the fact that you were with murderers, I could assume that you aren't traveling with friends." His eyes gleamed. "My, my, Kimiko."

"What do you want?" I bit out.

He chuckled darkly. "I've got you, I don't want anything else."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up suddenly, gripping the kunai holstered on my leg. He was quicker than me, suddenly tackling me and twisting my wrist.

As I struggled, he tried to tear my clothes off. Barely managing to slice his flesh, I squealed as he twisted my wrist further. I dropped the blade, refusing to let another man use me for sadistic pleasure.

Feeling all the rage boil inside of me, I used my free hand to grab the kunai and bring it closer to me.

I felt the fabric of my shirt tear and he grabbed a fistful of my hair and forced me to flip over onto my back.

While he was trying to cut through my bottoms, I brought the kunai to my mouth and brought down his destruction.

His blood was tangy, thick, and sweet. I bit down on my tongue as the fire spread through my veins, the pain was white-hot, and I felt myself blacking out again.

"Ah, you made the right decision." Jashin's deep voice filled my consciousness. I opened my eyes to see darkness.

We were floating in a black space, unoccupied by anything.

"Use my power wisely. My prophet will guide you," he closed his eyes, and I felt my lids being pulled down as well. "Remember to pray- and next time? Draw a damn circle."


	6. Jashinism, Asshole Ninjas, and the Fear of Heights

Upon opening my eyes, I felt a strong pull on my hands. My skin was pitch black, my scars were now gone- replaced by the white echo of my bones.

I brought the kunai down into my chest repeatedly, hearing Jun gurgle out a noise of confusion. He was clutching at his chest now, several stab wounds appearing, blood soaking through his flak jacket. He coughed, and it spilled from his mouth and dripped down his chin.

"Akatsuki bitch," he spat one last time before succumbing to his wounds and falling over dead.

I sighed and sat up. _Barely 21 and I'm already an immortal Jashinist. I am **so** tired of this shit._

Standing up, I felt my skin prickle and knew what had to be done. I drew on the floorboards with my blood-coated fingers, then I bowed my head and prayed.

* * *

Sometime later, Hidan and Kakuzu barged into the room I was in, and Hidan's face lit up. "Fuck yeah, that's my girl!"

I flushed and stood up, feeling my skin fading back to my original pasty white.

"Did you dispose of the enemies?" I asked, feeling calm flooding through my veins.

Kakuzu sighed, mumbling something along the lines of, 'another fucking religious lunatic,' while Hidan beamed with pride at me.

"I'm so overjoyed that you accepted the Lord into your heart," he cackled.

I could tell. He had only cursed once so far.

"All opposing forces are neutralized," Kakuzu finally said. "As such, please clean yourself up, and redress yourself properly." He tossed down my pack that I hadn't even realized I was missing, and Hidan pulled out my cloak from Jashin-knows-where.

While they got rid of the body and tried to return the room to a sense of normalcy, I retreated to the washroom to scrub the blood off my skin.

Once I was finished, I left the steamy room, pausing in the doorway. The place was spotless. With all signs of my earlier struggle and subsequent sacrifice gone, the Zombie Combo stood to wait for me. Kakuzu had the now-dead leaf-nin wrapped up in his Earth Grudge Fear.

He seemed happy. "Decent work, kitten. This man was listed for a decent bounty."

I nodded, holding in a laugh at the nickname.

We left the room, and I recognized the small inn as the one being near the main road in the village. Kakuzu led us out of town; back in the direction, we had come from the day before.

Soon enough, we had stopped at an inconspicuous building hidden off the road. Kakuzu nodded at Hidan to stay. "Sakana, come."

Obediently, I followed him inside, immediately realizing that we were in a bounty office.

Kakuzu spoke to the man quietly, then motioned for me to come over.

"Sakana is new to bounties, I trust you will pay her well." The man nodded at me and pushed a coin sack into my hands. Kakuzu handed over Jun's corpse, and the man smiled.

"Admirable work, you didn't mar his features any." I supposed it was a good thing- an unidentifiable cadaver leads to no bounty.

As we exited the building, I dumped a few of the coins into my hand and gave the rest of the money to Kakuzu.

"I don't need much- I'm not very fascinated with money."

The miser scoffed but accepted my gift anyways. I tucked the loose coins into one of the pouches on my side as Hidan joined us.

Kakuzu walked ahead, leaving Hidan and me to converse quietly.

"So, do you think His power is as awesome as I do?" Hidan asked excitedly, his magenta eyes flashing crazily.

"I guess so. I felt so strong at that moment," I admitted. "Someone was trying to hurt me and I could fight back this time."

Hidan nodded. "I used to get beat up a lot, but when I converted, I showed those heretics who's the fuckin' boss."

Kakuzu intervened as we reached the main road again. "We will cut through the Land of Fire to reach our destination ahead of schedule. This will give us 48 hours of preparation before the targets gather."

Hidan let me up onto his back before jumping up into the tree. I held on for dear life as the immortal duo sprinted through the braches.

Within a few hours, we had covered a good distance. Somehow, satiating their bloodlust had given the criminals an energy boost.

By midday, we were nearing the border between Fire and Steam. We stopped to refill our water bottles in the stream, and Kakuzu caught a few fish to grill for lunch.

I took to sharpening my kunai like the miser had done the night before. Apparently, I had been doing it wrong because Hidan sighed and snatched the tools out of my hands.

After we ate the fish, Kakuzu hoisted me onto his back. "Hold tight, Kitten."

I smiled, knowing that the stitched man would threaten bodily harm if I expressed admiration for him. So I settled for backhanded compliments.

"You're not bad for an old geezer," I mumbled. Kakuzu snorted, and I felt myself holding on tighter.

Hidan laughed at his partner's expense, almost missing the tree branch in front of him. "Shit!"

"And you're not that bad for an annoying brat," Kakuzu retorted, after presumably rolling his eyes at Hidan's failure.

"Gee, thanks, Oji-san."

He made a small noise, quiet and indignant.

I grinned at my victory, doing a little dance. I almost slipped but clutched onto Kakuzu's cloak for dear life.

As we sped through the treetops, Kakuzu had to endure me entertaining myself through song. I was halfway through the Ready Set's _Luxury_ when Kakuzu scoffed.

"What?" I asked, offended he didn't like my off-key singing.

"Love could never make money obsolete," Kakuzu huffed. "Money makes love obsolete."

"Yeah, you _would_ say that." I retorted.

"I didn't peg you for the romantic type," the miser replied. "You're kind of an ass."

I gasped in fake shock, then laughed in amusement at my antics. "Again, _you're one to talk."_

Hidan cut in, "Kakuzu is right, you aren't all lovey-dovey like the blonde bitch."

" _Suki_." I corrected, then cleared my throat. "I have my reasons for not being big on affection."

Kakuzu hummed in understanding, but before Hidan could further the subject, announced that we were stopping soon for the day.

It was nowhere near sunset, but I didn't protest. These were criminals, they wouldn't want to be spotted in the area too soon before these big-shot ninjas were to meet.

We were in a thick part of the woods, the trees looked dark and dead, with lots of gnarled snags. The dead trees were still standing, missing smaller branches, their cores hollowed out.

I held in a shudder at the eerie feeling that chilled my bones and found a spot to sit and meditate while Kakuzu and Hidan discussed the 'game plan'.

However, before I could drift off into my mind space, Kakuzu called to me.

"Get up, girl. You will be playing an essential role in this."

Interested in how I could be of service, I stood up and dusted the dirt and leaves off of my ass.

"See, before you were useless, but now you have a purpose. Two of the targets are too strong for you to defeat in hand-to-hand combat, despite your immortality. The third is not as well versed as the others, so you will ambush her and sacrifice her."

"Uh- uh-" I was fully aware that I was incapable of such a task.

"Sakana," Hidan looked at me squarely, taking my shoulders in his hands. "No matter _what_ , you have to remember that you will not die."

I bit my lip, staring into his fascinating eyes. "I don't even know how to use chakra." I reminded them.

"Which is why we have stopped here. In the next two days, we will train you to use and conceal your chakra signature to your advantage." Kakuzu explained, but Hidan still held my shoulders.

"In two days," The man in front of me cut in, gripping my shoulders firmly. "These heathen fucks are having a dumbass party in celebration of some shit-"

"They are hosting a gala for their upcoming project, and all three are attending. Our source gave us a one-hour frame where they will all be separated. Hidan and I will ambush the two stronger opponents, while you are to pose as a servant, corner the third, and gain access to her blood. Then you are to secure yourself away and perform the sacrifice." Kakuzu had thought this out.

"And I'm gonna help you 'refine your technique', or _what-the-fuck-ever_ it was that this dickface said," Hidan added in.

I breathed in. _Okay._ _You can do this, Sak._ I looked at the two Akatsuki members and nodded. "Alright, let's start."

* * *

Kakuzu quickly determined the nature of my chakra- _wind_ \- and taught me how to manipulate it. It took until sunset, which he was not happy about, but we _were_ cramming years' worth of training and knowledge into two days.

The next two hours after the dark had fallen on us were spent with me trying to conceal my chakra and hide in the dead trees. Hidan and Kakuzu were trying to find me, throwing shuriken to mark where I had been.

 _'This is kind of like a deadly game of hide-and-seek'_ I thought as I tried to creep from my hiding spot in a hollowed-out tree trunk. It was beginning to cool off, and I hated that Kakuzu had made me leave my cloak back at our camp.

Unfortunately, in my haste to escape the small space, I made more noise than intended, and my pursuers were on me in a matter of seconds.

They hadn't managed to hit me with their projectiles, which I knew was intentional. I turned in a direction they hadn't anticipated, and I felt a stray shuriken imbed itself into my arm. I shrieked at the sudden pain, pausing only to rip it out of my flesh, curse, then discard it. I looked up to see Kakuzu blocking my path, a kunai clutched in his hand.

I felt Hidan's presence behind me, and I knew I had lost this round. Throwing my hands up, I heard Hidan laugh.

"Sakana, when cornered in the field, you would be dead by now." Kakuzu chastised me, and I felt like a child. "You have three minutes to escape and hide. Go."

I scoffed, "One of you assholes _hit me!"_ I tur ed to glare at Hidan, who pointed at Kakuzu.

"While I admire that you took a route I had not anticipated, and I apologize for causing you harm, you must be aware of your surroundings, including unexpected obstacles or projectiles."

I wiped some of the blood off of my arm, assessing how deep the blade had dug and hissed at the tenderness. "Aren't you going to sew me up or something?" I asked sharply.

"That is a luxury you will not have in the field. You have two-and-a-half minutes left." Kakuzu's motley eyes bored into mine, and I sighed before turning and sprinting away.

I scrambled my way through the trees, trying to suppress the energy coursing through my body. When I was satisfied I was a good distance away, and sufficiently out of breath, I found a large tree and began scaling it, grabbing onto branches and hoisting myself higher. When the braches weren't sturdy enough to hold my weight, I sat down and waited for my ninjas to find me.

It was a while before they finally appeared, standing a few branches below my perch. I waved to them tiredly, dangling my legs over the side. "Kuzu, I'm about to pass out."

Kakuzu audibly sighed but gave in. "Alright. We will return to camp for the night."

"Ah, there's a problem," I said, feeling ashamed. "I kind of can't get down from here," I admitted, and Kakuzu shook head and disappeared from my sight.

Hidan shrugged at me from below and held his arms out. "Jump down," he suggested. "I' catch you."

I sighed and stood up on my branch. It cracked under the sudden shift and snapped. With my foothold gone, I was tumbling through the branches. The cracking and snapping I heard weren't just from the tree. I hit the ground hard. My breath had been knocked out of me, and I saw white.

"Oh shit!" Hidan screeched, and I felt his and Kakuzu's presence beside me. "That's gotta hurt."

I coughed, pain racking my body. "No shit," I mumbled out, feeling my blood coating my lips.

Kakuzu sighed and pushed Hidan aside, then placed his palms on my abdomen. I felt the warmth from his hands spread through me.

Hidan stammered apology after apology as Kakuzu worked.

"I didn't fuckin' mean to- I'm so fuckin' sorry Sak'." He surprisingly wasn't masochistic, and it slightly baffled me.

Kakuzu spoke, his voice deep and warm. "You had several broken ribs, which I have repaired, as well as internal bleeding. At the point of impact, you sustained fatal injuries. Congratulations, Sakana," he patted my bloodied hair, "You are immortal. If you had taken that fall while still being human, you would have died."

"So it's real," I sighed, blinking slowly. "I thought it was all fake after I skewered that guy."

Hidan laughed, "There you go!"

Kakuzu smirked and helped me sit up. "Your muscles will be sore for a few hours, but it will go away."

He was right, I felt like I just had run a marathon. Unfortunately, now I was going to have to drag myself back to camp; a feat I knew was going to be gut-wrenchingly painful as I sat up.

"You'll survive," Kakuzu chided, already walking away. _Jerk,_ I thought, _Can't even help a bitch stand up._ I was struggling to my feet when Hidan offered his hand to me.

"Want some help?" He asked, his magenta eyes shining. I accepted his hand and he helped me up, before picking me up in his arms and carrying me back to the camp.

It was humid, being in the thick of the Land of Steam. Hidan's skin was sweaty, and I felt my hair sticking to his chest as he carried us.

I pressed my cheek further into his chest, lulled by the rhythmic beating of his heart.

"You good?" His voice rumbled in my ear, and I hummed in response. "You're adorable," he mumbled.

I snorted softly, opening an eye to peer up at him. He was gorgeous, I'd always thought so. His character was my favorite type- loud and boisterous bad-boy. Hidan was a bad-ass. Of course, I'd read many a fanfic about him, I knew everything about him. _Including his "death"_ , I reminded myself of his demise- blown to bits and left to starve.

"Such a pity," I sighed, not realized it had escaped my lips.

"What's that?" The zealot asked, smirking down at me.

"Oh, well... I was thinking about death." Probably shouldn't bring up _that_ topic yet. "I suppose I'll never know about the afterlife. If there is one."

Hidan hummed softly, considering ky words before he replied- "But you've already experienced that."

I was confused, "What do you mean?"

"Didn't you say you know everything about us? Me?" He was right, I did say that.

"Well, they hardly mentioned you, except for your story arc, which is pretty early on in the Shippuden saga," I explained, knowing he wouldn't quite understand. "Then again in Itachi's arc... But they didn't go into Jashinism at all- it was merely about you as a character. What I do know about Jashinism is due to curiosity. And the way it's explained in my world is completely different from what it's actually like."

Hidan didn't reply to me, but after a second he cracked a grin and laughed. "You are adorable like this."

I blushed, looking away from his face and cast my gaze at the passing trees. Hidan wasn't walking very quickly. Kakuzu would bitch at us for taking our time.

His chest was warm, albeit sweaty. My face stuck to it, but I didn't mind. The beating of his heart and the sound of his laughter had me lulled into a light sleep.


	7. Training, Relaxation, and Hair-Dye

**_Hi_ ** **_dan Pov_ **

* * *

He hadn't lied when he had said the girl was adorable. Before, he would have used the phrase 'smoking hot', but he was fond of the small woman he carried in his arms. Their connection ran deeper than the primal urge to, ahem, _hump, and dump._ She wasn't the typical hooker in some small passing town- which he would later be bitched out for spending precious money on ' _those thieving temptresses',_ as Kakuzu so often called them.

No, Sakana was a marvel- the only person to accept his beliefs, the only person to listen to his word and hear it. She'd ask questions, and then answer them herself. She was funny, cute, and despite being a sarcastic asshole, she did care about him. "You're more than adorable," Hidan decided to tell her sleeping form quietly. "You're gorgeous."

He felt the blush settle on his cheeks and adjusted her slightly. Hidan was in wonder that his God had brought him this beautiful girl. He'd need to pray soon in thanks. Of course, he'd never let anyone learn of this soft side of him; he was a ruthless killer, a notorious psychopath.

The Jashinist breathed in the scent of dirt and sweat, and let out a deep sigh. He felt compelled to protect the girl, despite her immortality. He supposed that was due to the connection of their souls, and he made a note to thank his God for that, too.

As he arrived back at the camp and the old geezer grunted at him, with a nod to the fire, where Kakuzu had two decently sized fish steaming.

"Dunno if I should wake the girl," Hidan replied, carefully laying the sleeping beauty across his cloak. The earth was musky and damp, and he made a mental note to beat the clumpy soil off in the morning.

His partner grunted again, before agreeing that she should rest.

The duo ate in silence until Kakuzu decided to break it. "You seem fond of her," this was spoken in between bites of cooked fish. "Moreso than before we left base."

"Hm, we _are_ soulmates, Kakuzu. She's unique." Hidan couldn't explain his attraction to the girl; relationships weren't befitting for S-class ninjas. If one felt the need to release stress, there were usually young floozies willing to sell their bodies for pretty coins.

Kakuzu didn't drop the subject, instead opting to ask his partner more questions. "So you're not going to keep your distance?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Hidan snapped, lowering his voice when Sakana stirred in her sleep. "When she hurts, I hurt. I hate to see her in pain. I've prayed to be released from this curse, I've prayed in thanks for her presence. I can't escape it. I hate it, yet every fucking fiber of my entire fucking being tells me that I need her." This last part was hissed quietly, careful not to wake the girl, but Kakuzu did nothing to hold back his bark of laughter.

"Gay," Kakuzu replied, before belching loudly and settling back against his tree. "Wake me in 5 hours."

Hidan muttered something about stupid misers, then turned his eyes to the sky to study the stars.

Unbeknownst to him, the girl had heard every word of it but kept the burning blush on her face hidden.

* * *

**Sakana POV**

* * *

After Hidan and Kakuzu had quieted down, I stayed curled up on Hidan's cloak analyzing his words. _Did he love me? Did he hate me? What do I do? How do I feel?_ I lay there, still, until the racing thoughts consumed me, and I slipped into sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I was surprised to find myself pulled close to Hidan's chest. Fighting the blush creeping up and remembering the words spoken the night before, I cleared my throat and tried to disentangle myself again.

Sitting up, I locked eyes with Kakuzu, who was sitting across the fire from me. It was early morning, and the sun hadn't crept up yet.

"Mm, 'Mornin Kakuzu," I yawned, then reached my hands forward to the warmth of the fire. "How long have you been up?"

He grunted at me, then told me that Hidan had been asleep for 3 hours and that soon we'd resume our training.

My stomach grumbling cut him off, and he shook his head. The miser motioned to a pile of cooked fish, and my mouth watered. I was starving.

Kakuzu poked and played with the fire while I ate, the fog of the land hid the smoke rising. Kakuzu had also placed a genjutsu around the area, shrouding our chakra signatures and allowing us free reign of the area. It was nifty, but also necessary.

I finished my meal, wiping my hands on my legs, and my face on my arms. I'd have to bathe later since tomorrow was the 'big day'. Speaking of, I was woefully underprepared.

"Could we start now?" I asked, drawing the miser's attention.

"If you'd like," he replied. "You should learn to channel your chakra to your feet."

Like Kakashi did with Team 7, Kakuzu had me try to run up the trees, marking my progress with a kunai. I was pushing my strength to my feet, ignoring the burning of my muscles.

After an hour of running up trees, I finally got it. Kakuzu murmured praise, then had me practice jumping from branch to branch. I was wary of my jumps, expecting to tumble down at any moment and relive my traumatic experience of the night before.

Hidan was up sometime later, cursing and yelling at Kakuzu

I returned to the safety of the solid ground and smiled at my fellow Jashinist. "Mornin', Hidan."

He returned my greeting, along with a small compliment about my progress.

"Do you think you can help me uh, _refine my technique_?" I asked him, trying to smile sweetly.

Hidan agreed, and we spent the next several hours training in basic combat. Of course, I wasn't as strong as he was, but he threw out advice after I'd take a hit from him. "Watch my movements, analyze what moves I could make, and anticipate what I'm going to do."

I back-flipped away from a kick aimed at my stomach, and he praised me.

"Your goal is only to acquire some of your target's blood. The best course of action for you is discretion, so disguise yourself as a maid. They'll be hiring extra hands for the event, so you will go. During the gala, you will wait for an opening and get the specimen then."

I nodded, understanding how to get to my position, but I was worried about afterward. "So get the blood, then sneak away?"

"Correct, but I've been thinking about this. As a maid, you'll be expected to wait on the guests. You are to stay close by your intended target, but do _not_ draw attention to yourself. If you see an opening, take it." He further detailed the plan, telling me exactly how to get the sample of her blood, how to slip away, and finally to escape the gala. After meeting back up with the two of them, I would perform the ritual and our goal would be accomplished. Then we would make our escape, and head back to base.

It was a lot to take in, but I perfectly understood my mission. Hidan and Kakuzu had given me a pretty easy job, and I was duty-bound to follow through.

"Why are we killing these people?" I asked, trying to settle my only objection to the murder.

"Hmm, Kakuzu would tell you, 'for the bounty,' but they're heathens. On top of that, they're pretty into the exploitation of orphaned children." He had a hint of hatred in his eyes, and I wondered if it was because he, too, was an orphan. He continued, suddenly focusing on me again. "They take in these children and force them to labor, hardly feed them, and when the children are too sick to work, they leave them to die. Since these children have no families, nobody goes looking. Either the children grow and leave, or they wither and die."

I was saddened by this, reminiscing about the labor laws in my world; and the incidents that brought them about. "So all of them do this?"

"No, Kakuzu's target is the corrupt daimyo that lets this happen. I will be disposing of the heathen slave-owner, and you are disposing of the head of the orphanage, who willingly sends the children away."

I nodded, so my target wasn't a _ninja._ No wonder they were allowing me to play such a vital role. "Okay, so this will be pretty easy, then..."

Hidan raised a brow at me, "Don't get too cocky. Use discretion, do not speak unless spoken to, cater to their every whim- _and wait."_ Part of me wondered why he was being so helpful, and why he was being so _nice_ about it. He had hardly cursed, which kind of kade me sad. Hidan was supposed to be... more animated. He was acting so reserved, and way too polite. He hadn't even called me a _bitch._ I remembered the conversation I had overheard the night before and felt my face flush.

I was suddenly too aware of our proximity, taking a step back. "Thank you, Hidan. I think I'm going to take a break."

He grunted at me, waving a hand at me. "Eat something too, then pray."

I walked away, still feeling his eyes on me. ' _Don't worry what he thinks. Focus on the mission,_ ' I told myself, trying to ignore how devastatingly handsome he was. Those eyes, that trouble-maker grin. _Ugh._ Hidan was so, so hot. He was charming, funny, _immortal. Psychopathic._ Kakuzu sat on a tree stump, counting money. He didn't acknowledge me when I passed, so I left him alone and picked up the bag I carried my clothes in.

As I scoured the thicket for a nice hot spring to slip into, I understood what Hidan had meant by his inner conflict- he was so incredibly attractive, and one of my favorite anime characters... And well, any sane girl would never pass up the chance to sleep with such a breathtakingly gorgeous man. However, I was afraid that giving in to the attraction would only serve to complicate things, should I wake up one day and realize that it was all a fever-dream.

How could I let myself be with someone who may suddenly disappear? I'd had my share of heartbreak and despair, and I wanted no more.

I found a nice spot and dropped my bag by a rock. Pulling my top off, I began to unclothe. I dropped my various clothing to the ground before stepping into the spring, then sinking into the hot water.

This land was amazing, and I knew I would have loved living in such an amazing place.

I let myself soak in the hot water for a while. My fingertips and toes started to prune, but still, I stayed.

After I had pushed all my thoughts down and focused myself on my mission, I finally began to rub my skin clean, shedding off layers of dirt and blood.

The rust-colored river swirled around me angrily, before disappearing in the clear water. Once I was satisfied that my skin was mostly clean of dirt, I began attempting to clean my hair. This time, the water was stained the same deep red as the boxed hair-dye I had used on it only a month or so ago.

Deciding that my hair was clean-ish, I settled back against the rock wall of the natural spring. I closed my eyes slowly, focusing on breathing deeply and letting myself relax.

Meditating was something... Different. It was refreshing after a long day. I finally let my eyes open again and rose from the water. I dried myself off with a spare towel I had kept from the inn, and slipped myself into a pair of tight black shorts. I also put on a midriff-showing camisole. I slipped my shoes on, then my various weapons and supplies pouches were attached to my legs, the leather straps cutting crossing lines along my thighs.

Twisting my hair into a pile on my head, I peered at my reflection in the now-still pool. _Ugh._ I'd have to re-dye my hair somehow. The silvery-gray roots had reached about a centimeter in length, and the heated water had changed my once maroon hair to deep pink. I felt like Sakura Haruno. _Ugh_.

I gathered my various items and stuffed them all into the bag. Of course, being in the land of steam, they were all damp from the hot moisture in the air. The walk back to camp was quiet and only slightly eerie.

Upon arrival, I was greeted with the sight if Kakuzu and Hidan wrestling. Shirtless. _Drool._

They finished their brawl and Kakuzu gave me an odd look, and Hidan flashed a cheeky grin at me.

"What?"

"Your hair isn't naturally red." Hidan laughed.

I shrugged. "Nope, but uh... When you kill people where I'm from, you get in _big_ trouble... Kinda gotta go into hiding and whatnot- you guys should know this," I snapped, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my odd hair. "Your hair is silver, Hidan... And Kakuzu, your hair is like, _tentacles_. Shut up."

My rant only served to amuse Hidan further, because he broke out into a fit of cackling. Kakuzu murmured about how I was crazy, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Wait a minute!" Hidan suddenly exclaimed. "You said you killed people!"

I gave him a dry look. "Well, yeah."

He shook his head, "You've never mentioned that."

"Whatever. Not the point. I guess I need to fix it before everyone notices. Doesn't look good for a maid, either." I motioned to my hair.

Kakuzi grunted from his spot against a tree, "Just use a henge, dumbass."

"Not gonna work, friendo-" I shot him a pair of finger guns. "I barely know how to use my chakra, much less keep up a jutsu for hours."

"My bad, I forgot you were retarded," he snapped back at me. _Grumpy old bitch._

"Then just dye it," Hidan deadpanned. "Again."

I snorted, "How? All I've ever used it kits. Pre-made stuff."

Hidan made a noise, then looked around us. "You could use the bark from these trees."

"I'm surprised you know how to make natural dye," I said, giving him an odd look. "Weird."

He shrugged, and I set to work collecting bark off of the nearby trees.

It took a few hours of smashing bits of bark and then another to mash it and some water into a pulp.

Then Hidan and I slathered it all over my hair, wrapped it up in the towel I had stolen, and left it to sit overnight. _Life hacks, I guess?_

Our meal consisted of, _you guessed it_ , fish. After eating, Kakuzu took his turn sleeping, and Hidan and I sat up talking about random things. I would tell him about my past, and then he would tell me about some satisfying sacrifices he had made, and then we would laugh and carry on our conversation.

Hidan sat back, his eyes glinting against the fire. I was mesmerized. "So, you never told me who you killed."

I hated talking about _him._ But I knew he'd only keep asking until I caved and told him. Heaving a sigh, I crossed my legs. "What do you want to know?"

Hidan smirked at me. "Everything."

I felt like I was gossiping with my girlfriends about sex. _What was it like? Who was it?_ "Well," I began. "You know about... Jun. And how things were-" I bit back a shudder. "He... Tormented me. Tortured me... Raped me."

Hidan grunted in acknowledgment. "Ah, so you murdered him."

I got defensive. "I didn't murder him."

"Yeah?"

"It was self-defense!" I snapped.

Hidan snorted. "Okay, so you _accidentally_ murdered him."

I felt anger boil up inside. He didn't know why. He didn't know what that asshole had done to me. Hidan didn't understand.

_And how could he? I haven't told him the full story._

Hidan looked at me, and his eyes softened. "Hey, it's okay-" he stammered, and I felt angry-hot tears welling up in my eyes. _I hate it, I hate it._ "-Sakana, it's okay. You can tell me, I'm not judging."

I bit back a sob and pressed my palms to my eyes. _Breathe._

When I had regained my calm, I looked up at Hidan.

" _He killed our child_."


	8. Kissing Ninjas and Killing People

Hidan suddenly lurched forward and wrapped me in his arms. I didn't realize that I was crying until he eventually pulled back and started wiping the tears off of my face.

"You don't have to tell me," he told me softly, but I shook my head.

"We met when we were young, we were neighbors. I didn't have siblings, so we spent endless afternoons together." I began, remembering myself as a gap-toothed 7 years old. "Jun and I were best friends. The other children shunned me for being born with such odd hair, but he stuck by me."

Hidan remained silent, softly stroking my back.

"He was a few years older than me, so he became curious about his body before I did, and he.." I swallowed dryly. "He raped me. And it didn't stop. I figured I was ruined and no man would ever want me, so I convinced myself that I loved him."

"That's not true-" Hidan blurted, and I gave him a questioning look. "You- uh-" he flushed. "The part about other men not wanting you because you're- uh- ' _damaged goods',_ or whatever."

I propped my chin on his shoulder and sighed. "Thanks, I guess."

"Sorry," he mumbled, and the urge to smile made me feel worse.

Knowing there was more to tell, I exhaled. "It got worse after that, he was always finding different ways to make me bleed, and then I found out at the ripe age of 16 that I was carrying his child-" I coughed, and Hidan's arms coiled around me again. "-And I thought maybe that would make him ease up, but he hated it. He didn't want it, _but I did_ \- and he- he took it from me, and left me to die."

I was crying again, and Hidan was rubbing circles on my back. "He cut me open, but I was used to pain. I was angry and hurt- and he killed my baby-" I choked on the words, hating the swell of nausea rising inside of me.

Hidan shushed me then, just trying to soothe me. "I understand."

I laughed bitterly. "No, you don't."

He pulled back, and I caught the angry look in his eye. "I do." His hands were on my shoulders, and I felt myself wither slightly.

"How could you possibly understand how I feel? You hardly know me."

Hidan's eyes softened, and he suddenly pulled me into a long, soft kiss. " _I love you."_

Emotions exploded inside of me, and I let myself kiss him back.

* * *

After some time being wrapped in Hidan's arms, I fell asleep. I don't know exactly when, but it was somewhere between him tenderly rubbing my back, and pressing soft kisses up and down my neck and shoulders.

I drifted off feeling secure and warm, but awoke to a nudge in the side, curled up alone on his cloak.

I opened my eyes slowly and glared at the cause of the disturbance. Kakuzu was looming over me, a look of disgust in his eyes. "Go wash that out of your hair. And try to appear... Presentable."

I cursed. _Today is the day. Yippee._ As I staggered to my feet, I waved Kakuzu off and picked up the discarded towel, now covered in pieces of bark and dirt. I shook it out as I wandered toward the stream, where I sat on my knees and dipped my hair into the water.

It took a while to get all the clumpy pieces out, but I was pleasantly surprised about how it turned out. The water reflected a stranger with dark, damp hair, and tired eyes. I squeezed out excess water and started attempting to towel-dry my locks on the walk back to camp.

When I returned, Hidan was awake and stomping out the fire. I nodded to him, and he flashed me a smile. "It turned out well," he said.

I smiled back, "I was surprised it wasn't a total failure... You'rekinda smart."

"Fuck you," He stuck his tongue out at me, and I returned his gesture.

"Stop flirting and prepare yourselves for travel." Kakuzu interrupted us, ignoring my snort and Hidan's cry of, ' _fuck you_!'

I bent over to pick up Hidan's cloak from the ground, discovering that it was covered in patches of moist soil. I shook it out and lamely offered it back to its owner. "Sorry."

"Well, shit." He opted to drape it over his shoulder, _and I may or may not_ _have_ _drooled_.

We left not too long after Kakuzu and Hidan released the concealment Jutsu. Making our way down the path, Hidan and I followed after Kakuzu. I tried to keep a few feet between us, the passionate touches of last night still echoing in my brain.

Hidan was in the middle of a rant about _those damned heathens_ when Kakuzu slowed to a halt. I looked up, and Hidan's rant died down. "Sakana, the village isn't far. Continue on foot from here."

I glanced around. "I can easily recognize Yugakure," I finally replied. Hidan clapped a hand on my shoulder, and I looked at him questioningly.

"You got this, kitten." He told me in somewhat of a whisper. I swelled in confidence a little and softly smiled at him. "We'll see ya at the party."

I didn't respond as the two ninjas disappeared in a puff of smoke.

All alone on the misty path, I decided to run my hands through my hair one last time, in an attempt to look more presentable. The narrow path I had been following joined into another, larger road. There were peddlers sparsely spread out, most likely farmers hoping to sell their goods to travelers.

Few paid me no mind, but others were desperate for a customer. My stomach growled, and I decided to buy a piece of bread and pressed a large coin into the old woman's hands, bidding her keep the change.

I slipped into the village, eating my dry bread. The town seemed to be bustling in preparation for the event.

It wasn't hard to find my destination, because there was a flow of people headed toward a large mansion, with workers busy pruning shrubs and placing lights and various decorations around it. I followed a pair of men carrying boxes toward the back door of the estate.

I waited for a few moments, observing the people scurrying around, before approaching the door and rapping on it a few times. A large woman answered the door brusquely, giving me a quick once-over. I cleared my throat, but she spoke before I could: "You're here for the maid position? Good, follow me."

* * *

I had been standing in the same spot for five hours when I finally spotted my target; a now-rich matron of an orphanage. She made good money selling the innocent children to Hidan's target; the rich land-owner. Apparently, the wealthy villagers were fond of her now that she had money. They were coming on droves to see her, nodding respectfully and bowing to her. I suppressed a scoff but caught the eye of a handsome young man. He smiled and winked at me, I fixed my eyes on the wall as I felt the heat rising to my cheeks.

He had dark green eyes and long brown hair pulled back at his nape, and he was handsome... _But he's not Hidan._ I inwardly cursed the stupid voice in my head for making me relive the tender touches from the night before. The sound of glass breaking caught my attention and I looked up to the sound of the Matron calling for my assistance.

"Maid, come clean this glass and bandage my hand!" She shrieked at me, waving a bloodied hand in my direction. I scurried over to her, taking her verbal lashing about cheap cups and how she deserved better than this while picking up all the pieces and apologizing repeatedly. I was delighted to find a few droplets of her blood on a particularly large shard of glass.

I ducked my head and walked away, thanking Jashin for such an easy task. I slipped into the maid's washroom and retrieved my bag, and the vial Kakuzu had given me the day before. Within a minute, I had shed the yukata and donned my shorts, camisole, and cloak. I shoved the Yukata in my bag, _(hey, it was cute!)_ and slipped back out of the room.

It wasn't hard to escape the bustling kitchen either; with everyone so busy with their preparations, I was invisible to them.

Once free of the mansion, I made my way out of town and back to where Hidan, Kakuzu, and I had parted ways. I stood in the shadow of a tree for roughly five minutes, before I realized I wasn't alone.

Kakuzu appeared from the shadows, a few moments after a roar came from the direction of the village. "You have the specimen?" I nodded and produced the vial and bloody glass. He grunted in approval. "Hidan should be here shortly, assuming he doesn't toy with his prey."

I nodded again and shifted my stance. A few branches cracked, and I braced myself for another ambush.

Instead, the brown-haired man stepped out from behind a tree, rubbing a hand across his neck, where a gaping wound dripped dark blood. He grinned at me cheekily, brandishing a severed head.

"Ah, it was you!" I exclaimed, as he formed a hand-sign and his henge faded. Hidan stood before me, grinning like a dork.

"I'm surprised you didn't recognize my chakra, dumbass."

Before I could fire back an insult, Kakuzu cut us off. "Hidan, enough. Grab the girl, we need to make some distance."

Hidan suddenly had me flung over his shoulder as the two ninjas teleported us away.

* * *

We ended up in a cave not too far away, where Hidan helped me etch Jashin's symbol into the dirt using his blood. Then, I shook the bloodied glass out onto my palm and brought my target's blood to my lips.

My skin tingled as the transformation took over, my skin deepening to the darkest shade of black, and my skeleton appearing on my skin as if it were a tattoo.

I accepted the pike Hidan offered me, grit my teeth, and shoved it through my chest. My warmblood dripped down my chest and I felt my heart jump a few beats before resuming its usual rhythm.

A thought occurred to me then; "Won't we need her head for her bounty?"

Kakuzu shook his head. "She wasn't worth much, she just deserved to die. We'll be paid sufficiently for these two alone."

"Oh," I felt dumb as Hidan patted me on the head.

"Want to pray with me?" My fellow Jashinist asked, already kneeling in the circle.

I joined him on the ground and bowed my head.

 _I guess thank you, Jashin, for helping me out today. I'll get better at this ninja stuff and find a way to save Hidan. Speaking of,_ why him? _I get it, he's your prophet... I guess I should be asking,_ why me? _Alright, I guess that's it. I'll talk to you later, big guy._

So smooth, Sak. So smooth.

* * *

The next few hours were spent on Kakuzu's back, with a decapitated head _way too close_ to my foot.

_I get it, I'm an immortal Jashinist with a history of murder, why should a fucking head creep me out? Well dear friend, let me ask you this- how you ever looked into a dead man's eyes? Okay, well how about just his eye-sockets?_

_...Yeah. Point proved._

We were heading north, so after a few hours of a bumpy ride with the head, my ninjas stopped and Kakuzu deposited me on the ground roughly. "Go wash yourself off before we continue, I will go collect the bounty money."

He left Hidan and I standing in the forest, covered in blood. I shrugged at him and followed him toward the sound of water.

A river cut across the land, winding throughout the trees. Hidan and I exchanged a look and went our separate ways.

Finding a secluded spot, I undressed and entered the water. The stream was cool, flowing down from where the Land of Frost and Land of Steam met. I scrubbed blood off of my skin and set to work washing and wringing out my clothes before re-dressing in the now-damp garments.

When I met back up with the immortals, Kakuzu hmph'd and made a snide comment about how long it had taken me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Hidan, who was running a hand through his wet hair. Kakuzu made a derisive noise at my blatant ogling and offered a bag of coins to me.

"Your cut. Considerably less than mine and Hidan's, of course, since we did all the hard work."

"Not true!" I protested though I didn't care about the money. "I took out the third target!"

"Not really, Hidan did all the work there, too," Kakuzu told me as if I were stupid. _Well, I kinda am, to be fair._

I looked at the silver-haired Jashinist, and he nodded. "What do you mean?"

"You don't think that glass just _magically broke on its own,_ do you?" Hidan chuckled. He flashed a senbon at me, and I felt myself sweat-drop.

So my badass _work-of-God_ moment was Hidan and his stupid ninja needles.

"Oh well, I'm still awesome," I chirped, perking up. "We gonna get goin' now, or what?"

Kakuzu grunted again, I jumped onto Hidan's back, and we took off.

* * *

During the next bout of running, I dozed off a total of 12 times before I caught on to the conversation.

"She's not being annoying for once," Kakuzu was saying, and Hidan made a slight noise of amusement.

"And for once, I agree with you."

I decided to cut in, being _she_ they were referring to. "I'd be a lot less annoying if you'd shut the fuck up and let me sleep," I informed them, digging my heels into Hidan's hip. He hissed and called me a bitch, while Kakuzu snorted.

"You snore." He snipped, killing the conversation.

I stuck out my tongue at the back of his head and he made a very rude hand gesture at me. I 'hmph'd' and decided to stop antagonizing him before he threatened dismemberment. _Yeesh._

Turning my attention to Hidan, I rested my forehead on the crook of his neck, and let a sigh escape.

"And what's bothering you now, Kitten?" He asked, inclining his head as he ran.

"Boredom, mostly," I replied, ignoring the swell of emotion building in the pit of my stomach.

He didn't reply, so I assumed that he, too wanted to be left alone. ' _Whatever, they're dickbags anyways,'_ the voice in my head decided to return.

Resigning myself to the silence, I decided that maybe sleep wasn't a bad idea.

* * *

When I woke again, our scenery had changed. We were now right outside of a village somewhere in the northern part of the Land of Fire. Hidan had taken the liberty of rousing me from my sleep by dumping me onto a patch of dry dirt.

I yelped, scrambling up. I glared at him, and he shrugged at me. Kakuzu was nowhere to be found, so I assumed he was procuring food, a room, or both.

"So, have a good run?" I awkwardly asked Hidan, who made an amused face.

"Not really," he replied after a moment.

"Cool, that's, uh, real nice." _Oh my god, he probably thinks I'm retarded._

The jerk continued to smirk at me, so I turned my attention to Kakuzu, who was approaching with a satisfied look in his eye.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked the miser, to which he replied, "Your mother, it's Two Dollar Tuesday."

Hidan howled, "Oh snap!"

I scowled, "You guys are being mean. I'm gonna tell Pein that you're bullying me!"

Hidan laughed again, and I suddenly imagined him like a hyena, barking out laughter every fifteen seconds.

Kakuzu shrugged, handing Hidan a key. I looked back and forth between them, before asking the most obvious question.

"Where's mine?"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow at me, "You're sharing with Hidan. And you both owe me 50 Ryo."

I forked over the coins, while Hidan did the same, then we followed the miser to the small inn. Our rooms were adjacent, and Kakuzu and Hidan unlocked the doors.

I peered over Hidan's shoulder into the tiny room and sighed. There was a single, full-size bed.

"At least you're not sleeping in the dirt," Kakuzu said, before entering his room and closing the door behind him.

I followed Hidan into the room, closing the door softly behind me.

Hidan made it to the bed and flopped face down onto it, already snoring.

A snort escaped me, and the Jashinist lifted his head, "'Mere, bitch."

I suppressed a smile, but turned the light off and joined my immortal on the bed.


	9. Romantic Strolls and Steamy Showers

I slept snugly that night, unaware of exactly how close Hidan and I were. While I slept, he had practically wrapped himself around me, entangling our limbs.

For once, my sleep was undisturbed. I awoke sometime before dawn, with my face pressed into Hidan's chest. He was awake, judging by the way he was silently stroking my hair.

"'Morning," I said with a yawn. "What are you doing?"

He didn't hesitate at the sound of my voice, quietly mumbling, "Admiring the view."

I blushed and looked at the ceiling. "Stop confusing me."

This caused him to stop playing with my hair. "Whaddya mean?"

I sat up, pulling my legs away from his. "One minute you're kissing me, and the next you're threatening to dismember me," I turned at looked at him, meeting his confused stare. "I don't know how to feel."

"You're one to talk!" He exclaimed, sitting up. "One minute you're all over me, and then you're talking shit."

" _That's how I flirt, you dick!"_ I hissed, realizing my mistake as his arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me into his lap.

"I know, I just wanted you to admit that you like me," He chuckled huskily, pressing his face into my neck. "But that's okay, because Ilike you, cat-bitch."

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, _damn sexy ninjas._ "That's a terrible decision," The words escaped my mouth, and I pressed my hands over my face.

He pressed a chaste kiss to my neck, and I felt my skin tingling at the contact. "Good fuckin' thing it's not my decision, it's Jashin's."

Of course, Hidan was right, but I didn't voice that. Jashin-sama had brought me here. Jashin-sama had brought me to _him._

"Well, I guess if it's _His_ will..."

Hidan only laughed, before pulling me closer to him.

* * *

We spent the next few hours kissing between random conversations.

Hidan wasn't that bad to be around when you weren't an absolute ass to him constantly.

 _Yeah, me being a Jashinist had nothing to do with our close relationship_. I pressed a kiss to his nose, and he made a face at me, before attacking me with a kiss of his own.

His lips molded against mine perfectly, and I felt him bite at my lip.

We were in our little bubble, blind to anything else. Being with Hidan felt good, he was so strong and dominant, yet gentle and careful. His presence put me at ease, a stark contrast to how I had felt being with Jun.

Neither of us noticed the gentle rapping on the door until the visitor grew tired of waiting on us and entered the room.

"Oh wonderful, you two are at it again."

I jumped at the intrusion, swiveling my head to stare at Kakuzu. Hidan might have flipped him off behind me, but I wasn't sure.

"Don't mind me, I'm going to eat," Kakuzu mumbled, quickly exiting the room.

I looked back to Hidan, opening my mouth to comment on how awkward that had been, but my stomach cut me off with a loud grumble. "I'm... kinda hungry too."

My immortal just snickered at me, before ruffling my hair and standing up from the bed. "Fuck yeah, let's get some food."

* * *

After gorging ourselves on meat at a barbeque, Kakuzu and Hidan created clones of themselves to double back and cover our tracks.

After the doubles had disappeared, the Immortal Duo and I continued on our journey back home.

This time, Kakuzu made me run on my own, instructing me to concentrate my chakra through my legs and feet.

They slowed down to let me keep up with them, but it wasn't long before their jog turned into a run.

We were still in the northern Fire countryside, heading East toward the land of Grass. I didn't recognize my surroundings, but I had a general idea of where we were.

We ran for an hour more before Kakuzu wanted to speed up more, instructing Hidan to grab me. I was swooped up in his arms, this time bridal style.

After that, our journey continued without pause for hours. It was quite boring, and I vowed to bring a book on our next mission, assuming it'd be relatively soon.

When we finally did stop, it was well after the sun had dipped below the horizon, and the trees had become the wavy plains of the land of Grass. We crossed an abandoned bridge, and I recognized it as the Great Naruto bridge. We had come to a stop right inside of the town, and the citizens milling about before the shops closed for the night began to retreat.

I had been daydreaming about a certain psychopath and his captivating eyes when Hidan set me down on my own feet. Not paying attention, I nearly fell over before catching myself on his cloak.

"We'll continue from here," Kakuzu was saying. "We are now north of Amegakure and we will be in Rain soon. We should be back at base by daybreak."

"So we're going the full way tonight?"

Kakuzu made a noise of confirmation, before commenting that we would need to keep up the pace to stay ahead of any forces that might be on our tail.

I didn't argue with him, but I did demand that we purchase food before continuing our trek.

I approached the stand, and the vendor smiled nervously at me, his eyes flicking over my shoulder at the Akatsuki members. I tried to smile softly at him, before politely ordering 3 of the takoyaki balls he was serving.

His hands shook as he handed me the food and accepted the coins I handed to him.

Like the bread vendor, I had overpaid for our meals and waved off the change he offered to me. He thanked me three times as I walked away, but I just waved at him. He was probably struggling to provide for his family... And I didn't desire material items that much. I just needed enough to get by.

I returned to the murderers, and they took their meals from my hands. Kakuzu commented on how frivolously I spent my money, but I only shrugged in response.

Hidan was noisily devouring his takoyaki, discarding his garbage on the ground.

I chewed him out for littering, and he called me a bitch as I picked up his trash. I took Kakuzu's as well and tossed them in a bin.

Feeling better about my efforts to save the environment, I walked a bit faster to catch up with my companions.

"You've got quite the stamina," Kakuzu told me, sounding impressed. "You're progressing very well."

"I run every day," I told him, looking at the dark path ahead of us. "Good for keeping a clear mind."

He grunted. _Guess that's the end of that conversation_.

I turned my attention to Hidan, who was rubbing his rosary as we walked. "I need one of those," I commented.

He agreed, promising to get one for me. Hidan didn't seem to be in a very talkative mood either, so I decided to practice making hand signs, twisting and pressing my fingers together.

Kakuzu kept glancing over at me but didn't comment on it for a while before telling me I was forming the bird sign improperly.

I allowed him to correct me, lacing my fingers in a mirror to his.

We sped up again, running silently south. My muscles were sore and I was finally beginning to tire when we entered the land of Rain.

Thankfully my cloak had a hood on it, and I pulled it up over my hair before the temporary dye bled out. Hidan cursed at his lack of head covering, then cursed Pein for the downpour.

It was probably an hour before midnight, and we still had the country to cross.

As we trekked further into the land of Rain, the precipitation thickened. Not too long into the country, my hood was soaked through and I knew that streams of brown water were inching their way down my neck and shoulders.

Hidan laughed at my misery, and Kakuzu chided me for not taking better care of my hair, even though I wasn't the criminal mastermind who _controlled the fuckin' weather_.

"Damn you, Pein," I muttered, before lightning cracked across the sky, releasing an addition downpour on us.

I knew the pierced ninja was laughing at me, but that didn't stop me from sticking my tongue out at the sky.

* * *

Hours later, I could barely drag myself through the rain and mud, so Hidan begrudgingly let me onto his back, where I proceeded to pass out.

The next time I woke, both the sky and the rain were considerably lighter.

I surmised that we were near the base, and probably an hour more of walking would deposit us at our destination.

Hidan made me walk from there, stating that he should make _me_ carry _him_ while _he_ slept.

I shrugged, "Listen, _darling_ ," I received an odd look from him, "I am the _princess_ and I _deserve the_ royal treatment."

"You're a _royal_ pain in my ass," he grumbled, kicking water at me.

I flipped him off, trudging through the mud behind Kakuzu.

He returned my kind gesture, a smirk playing across his face. I stared at his lips a second too long, losing my footing and tumbling down into the mud. Hidan helped me up, but I didn't let go of his hand as Kakuzu trudged ahead of us.

Hidan didn't comment on my lingering grasp, only shifting his hand to place his thumb on top of mine.

It seemed dorky, holding hands like we were teenagers in love, but in reality, I didn't want to fall in the mud again.

Eventually, the rain stopped, but we already drenched; I was wet and cold, shivering in the early morning air. With dry ground to walk on, I no longer needed Hidan's hand so I dropped it wordlessly.

I looked ahead of us, wishing the journey to come to an end. The first thing I wanted to do was take a long, hot shower and let the cold disapparate from my bones. Nothing sounds better than that and a warm cup of orange blossom tea.

Thankfully, I recognized the village in the distance. Being so close to _home_ , (as I had come to regard the Akatsuki base), gave me a burst of energy, and I found myself walking faster.

Upon entrance to the base, Kakuzu reminded us to report to Pein, which Hidan and I simultaneously groaned at.

We exchanged a look and I stuck my tongue out at him. He huffed, following Kakuzu and I down the hallway.

Kakuzu knocked on the door, and Pein's voice bid us entrance.

He assessed our muddied forms, took the large bag of money that Kakuzu offered him, and waved Hidan and me off. "Go clean yourselves up, Sakana you'll find that Konan has furnished your room in your absence. You have clean clothes in your wardrobe."

Kakuzu stayed, probably to brief the leader on our mission, and my _progress._

Hidan and I left them, walking side-by-side down the hallway. Admittedly, if not for his company, I would have lost my way.

Suki's voice caught my attention. Rather, it was the shrill shriek of, "Sakana is back!" that alerted me.

"Oh yay, _a welcoming party_ ," I commented dryly as I passed her.

Kira appeared behind her, a look of disgust wrinkling her face as she took in my appearance. "You look like you had fun," she smirked.

I flipped her off, "You look shit." Then I turned followed Hidan down the hall to our respective rooms.

I could almost visualize the pout on Suki's face as she mumbled, "She got mean while she was gone."

* * *

Hidan and I argued over who was going to shower first, so naturally, he offered to shower with me.

"No way!" I exclaimed, and an evil smile spread across his face.

"Guess you gotta wait your turn then," he chuckled before shutting the door in my face. I heard the lock slide into place, so I settled for punching the door and calling him a dick.

He laughed as the shower turned on, so I turned to my bedroom and opened the door.

Suki, Zena, and Kira were already lounging on my bed. I sighed, pulling off my wet clothes and tossing them in a pile in the corner of my room.

I wrapped a towel around myself, covering my now exposed underwear. Suki took the liberty of speaking first.

"Soooooo..." She began, drawing my gaze to her. She was sitting on her hands, bubbling in excitement. "Give us the details."

I pulled a black camisole out of the wardrobe and searched through it for some shorts. "There's not much to say," I lied.

"Bullshit," Kira commented. "You and Hidan have a _thing._ "

I closed the doors of the closet, turning to the trio. "Its not much of a thing."

"Oh, _come on_ , Sak." Suki leaned forward.

They already knew, they just wanted some girl gossip. " _Fine_." I sighed, taking a seat on the chair at my desk. "We have a _thing._ "

Suki cheered, Zena clapped, and Kira said, _"Duh_ _._ "

"It isn't much of a thing, though. We've kissed and whatever but I'm not the relationship type, and neither is he."

"I don't think that's true," Zena piped up. "You _like_ him."

I threw my hands up, exasperated. "Why is it such a big deal if I like him or not?"

Suki smiled, "Because _you like him_ , you don't like anybody."

"I like Kisame," I quipped.

"Who doesn't though?" She asked, a twinkle forming in her eye at the mention of the shark-man.

 _Fair enough_ , I thought.

Kira spoke next, "I want to know what happened to your hair."

I turned my eyes to the black-haired girl. "Do you know where I can buy any _boxed hair dye_ in this Jashin-forsaken world?"

"Oh my _god,_ you just said Jashin!" Suki squealed.

 _I can't keep anything from them._ "...Yeah," I finally admitted.

"So what, Hidan recruited you to his _psycho-murder-cult?_ " Kira asked.

"It's not-" I began to protest. "... _You're not wrong._ "

She smirked while Suki let out another shrill squeal.

"Listen, I _promise_ that I will tell you everything but after I shower and sleep. We walked all day and night and I am _exhausted_."

They obliged, leaving my room as the sound of the shower turning off caught my ears.

I stood waiting, covered in dried mud from head to toe, right outside of the bathroom door.

Hidan opened it suddenly, and I lost my footing. I tumbled forward into his arms, realizing in horror that we were both barely clothed, and there may have been _some_ sexual tension between us.

The silver-haired nin caught me easily, avoiding transferring mud from my skin to his. "You're clumsy." He deadpanned, patting me on the head and quickly exiting the bathroom.

My heart was beating pretty hard for a moment after the door closed behind him, and I spent another one staring at my reflection and wondering _what in the fuck that was_.

When I finally took in how bedraggled I looked, I reached over and slid the lock into place before shedding my towel and underwear and stepping into the hot spray of water.

* * *

I spent too much time in the shower, judging by the number of times Kakuzu knocked loudly (and impatiently) on the bathroom door.

I shampooed my hair a good three times before Hidan's shitty make-shift hair dye washed from my hair- along with more of my red coloring, leaving my hair an even paler shade of pink. Grabbing a towel from the rack, I wrapped it around myself and glanced at the mirror.

I sighed at my reflection, pulling at the bags under my eyes. I finally exited the bathroom, apologizing to Kakuzu, who was waiting in the hallway.

His eyes flicked over me before fixing on the wall, a grunt escaping his throat as he shut the door behind him.

I entered my room, quickly dressing and closing the curtain in my room.

I plopped down onto my bed as the door between Hidan's room and mine creaked open.

I was soon joined on my bed by a _very sexy and very shirtless_ ninja.

I rolled over to make room for Hidan, turning to lazily look at him, sleep already tugging at my brain. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" I drawled.

He managed to shrug, "You'll just start crying out in a little while anyway, might as well save me and Kakuzu a little sleep."

I murmured in understanding, drawing closer to Hidan.

A few moments later, as I was on the brink of unconsciousness, I heard Hidan comment on how much more comfortable my bed than was his.

I made a noise, and exhaustion took over.


	10. The Orange Blossom Predicament

I slept dreamlessly, held close, and comfortable to Hidan.

At some point, he had gotten up and staggered back to his room, apparently replaced by someone else, judging from the mass of black hair blocking my view as I blinked awake. Someone's head was pressed to my breasts, arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't recognize the chakra as Hidan's, so I was thoroughly confused.

"Good morning, Sakana-chan~" Tobi chirped, and his swirly orange mask came into view.

"Tobi," I responded, sitting up and inching away from the hyperactive Uchiha. "Good morning."

He bounced quickly, shaking my bed. "Suki-chan made something called Pancakes and it's so yummy, so Tobi saved some for Sakana-chan to eat!"

"Uh, thanks, Tobi," I mumbled, letting the ninja pull me up from my warm bed and out to the cool corridor.

He led me to the kitchen, practically running with me flapping behind him in the wind.

Suki and Zena sat at the barstool, the former talking excitedly, and the latter sipping a steaming cup of tea.

They greeted us as we entered, and Tobi set about preparing a plate of pancakes for me to eat. I made a cup of jasmine tea for myself, bitching about the lack of my favorite tea. Zena softly apologized, offering her cup to me.

I just shook my head, "It's okay. I'll just make Kakuzu get more," I smiled at the miser as he entered the kitchen.

"No. You can go, and take your pet with you." Kakuzu cooly replied, depositing a bag of coins and a list in my hand.

I groaned. "I don't wanna."

Kakuzu turned his stare on me, and I felt like a bratty teenager about to be lectured by her father. I held my hand up before he spoke, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Let me eat first."

"Fine," he conceded, returning to steeping a tea bag in a cup, and exited the kitchen.

Tobi set a plate down in front of me. He had arranged berries in the shape of his mask along the top of a small stack of pancakes.

I stared at it for a minute, before setting down the list and money and picking up the fork and knife Tobi had so generously procured for me.

I dug in, shoveling bits of pancake down my throat as Suki and Zena watched me expectantly.

"What?" I mumbled around a forkful of fluffy cake and sweet berries.

"What did Kakuzu mean by 'take your pet with you'?" Suku asked, her eyes wide and a dopey grin plastered across her face.

I swallowed my bite, immediately taking a long sip of tea.

"Well?" Zena prodded.

"He meant Hidan," I explained.

Tobi giggled, propping his hands under his chin, enthralled by the 'girl talk'.

"Oh, so even Kakuzu ships you," the brunette tittered, leaning in. I felt like we were in a huddle, and stood up straight.

"Seriously, guys. I have an errand to run, we'll talk when I get back." I chomped down one last bite of pancake, my throat closing around food suddenly.

I was choking, clutching at my throat. As I crumpled to the floor, I realized that none of them were attempting to help me.

Fuckin' jerks.

Third Person- Suki.

Suki cursed, handing a few bills to Zena, who wore a content smile.

Kira entered the room then, ignoring the unconscious girl on the floor. "Sasori said that normally, the poison would kill within 30 seconds."

Tobi knelt poked Sakana's body a few times, then looked up at the sisters. "Tobi thinks she's still breathing."

Suki looked at her sister, "That confirms it, Sakana's a zombie."

Kira shook her head silently, kicking the immortal girl lightly on the leg.

Zena seemed to be content, having bet that Sakana would make it two minutes for the poison to kick in. Kira had graciously given her 45 seconds, and Suki had guessed somewhere in between.

Tobi was just happy to be a part of the 'prank', attempting to laugh evilly as he left the kitchen to go 'prank' the other Akatsuki members.

Suki decided to go find Hidan and try to pester some information out of him. Zeba decided to tag along, curious to learn how the Jashinist felt about their "friend".

They left Kira with Sakana's unconscious form, wandering through the hallways toward the distant sound of Hidan's loud cursing.

Tobi had found him first and had attempted to mess with Hidan's rosary.

When the two girls entered the training room, where Hidan was trying to catch the quick prankster. Tobi escaped, using Suki and Kira as cover.

The silver-haired Jashinist sighed and turned to the girls, leaning on the handle of his scythe. He was clad only in pants, his cloak missing. "Whaddya want?"

Suki beamed, bouncing up to him. "Hello, Hidan."

He visibly sweat-dropped. "Cat-bitch number two," he replied, his eyes shifting between the two girls.

The blonde immediately started firing off way too personal questions, regarding the nature of his relationship with her dear Sakana.

"Uh, there's not a lot there," he replied, unsure. "Where is the bitch anyway?"

Suki gasped, "She's your soul-mate, Hidan!"

"So?" This was asked with an eyebrow raised.

"You can't call her 'bitch'!"

He shrugged, "She doesn't mind. Now, where is she?"

Zena finally spoke, mischief gleaming in her eyes. "We poisoned her, so she's currently passed out in the kitchen."

"No. I'm. Not." An icy voice growl through their conversation and Suki realized a second too late that their victim was awake and very pissed off.

SakanaSomehow, Suki dodged my tackle, so I soared over her and landed behind her.

She immediately took off at a sprint, and I was hot on her heels. She was shrieking like a banshee, and boy did she have a set of lungs on her.

I chased her out into the hallway, and she continued her assault on my eardrums.

I was just about to catch her when a large arm scooped me up, stopping my momentum. I tried to bite on my captor's arm, but they hooked two fingers into my nose and pulled.

"FUCK. OW. OKAY. I'm calm." I yelped.

"Are you?" Itachi's cool voice sounded by my ear.

"Yeah. Fuck."

"Please refrain from murdering my idiot." He requested, loosening his grip and removing his fingers from my nose.

I instinctively reached a hand up and started rubbing it. "She started it."

Suki looked past me at the Uchiha and smiled sheepishly.

"Suki, do you have something to say to Sakana?" Itachi asked, and the blonde target if my rage nodded.

"I'm sorry for poisoning you, Sakana." She muttered, poking her fingertips together.

I sniffed indignantly, my nostrils still burning from Itachi's assault.

Itachi wasn't satisfied, however, and pressed Suki for more. "...And?"

"...And I won't do it again," she mumbled. When I didn't respond to her, she pouted at me.

"Fine," I relented, "You're lucky Uchiha was there to save you."

She smiled and hugged me before walking off with Itachi.

I returned to the kitchen, cleaning the mess that had been made. Before I left the room, I picked up the bag of coins and the list Kakuzu had given me.

I trekked back to the room Hidan had been training in, standing in the doorway to watch him swing his scythe at the training dummies.

After a few minutes, he stopped. Hidan turned his eyes to me, raising a brow at my intrusion.

"Uhhh," I was so captivated by his training, I had completely forgotten why I had come. A glance at my hands reminded me, so I attempted to redeem myself. "I need to go to the market."

He sighed, joining me in the doorway. "I'm not fucking carrying you." I pouted at him, then laughed at his exasperated huff.

After donning our solid black cloaks, Hidan and I left the base and started the short walk to the village.

To be honest, my legs still burned from yesterday's overuse, but I knew not to argue with Kakuzu, especially now that he could harm me without consequence.

It was around 4 o'clock, the sun was to our backs as we walked side-by-side. It was serene, and part of me could imagine the main character of this entire freaking world.

I didn't speak as Hidan laced his hand in mine and led me to the village, opting for quiet amusement. He was a badass missing-nin, yet here he was being mushy and cute.

I took our alone time as a sign from Jashin and gripped his hand tighter. Hidan's magenta eyes flicked over me, and I smiled softly at him.

"Do we need a definition?" He asked suddenly, startling me.

"Oh not this again," I huffed, rolling my eyes. "Did Suki get to you?"

Hidan chuckled, dropping my hand to smooth his hair. I'd never admitted it, but I missed his warm touch. Something about being near him lulled me into a sense of security, and I found myself more at ease the closer I was to him.

"Then let me ask you this," Hidan came to a halt, and I stopped beside him. "Are you content with this as it is?"

My heartbeat thrummed in my throat, and despite the obvious attraction, I settled for, "Maybe. I guess." Very articulate.

As we entered the village, neither of us broke the awkward silence. The farmer's market was bustling in the afternoon warmth; villagers were milling about, enjoying the decent weather.

Hidan gingerly picked up a woven basket as we approached a produce stand, gravitating to the variety of fruits. I retrieved the list from my cloak pocket, scanning over it.

"You guess?" Hidan finally asked, inspecting a citron.

"I don't know," I conceded. "Sorry, that's not much to work on, but I need to discover what I want before I can commit to something so... Intimate."

I picked out a few of the citrons, paying the vendor with a smile. We moved on, crossing off Kakuzu's list, item-by-item.

Hidan didn't respond, leaving our conversation hanging like a loose thread. I was beginning to think I had offended him by the third time he threatened sacrifice to a gawking bystander.

I grabbed him by his ear and led him away, quietly scolding him about behaving in public.

"You sound like Kakuzu, bitch." He grumbled.

I flipped him off, turned away to continue my task.

"Sakana." He said, calling me by my actual name for the first time. I stopped and looked at him. "Are you content?"

Was I? I enjoyed the feeling of Hidan's attention, much as any fangirl would enjoy flirting with their anime crushes.

Something inside of me wouldn't let go of the rationality of the situation; I'd get too invested in Hidan, then I'd wake up and realize it was all a dream. But...

"I'm not." We spoke in unison, but neither of us spoke any more than that.

After finally having found all of the odd products the miser had requested, I wanted to go home. I voiced this thought to Hidan, who agreed with a 'fuck yeah'.

He surprised me by carrying the bags of items to the base. He deposited them in the kitchen and began heating some water for tea.

I went through the sacks, separating items from groceries to Kakuzu's order.

In my haste to drop the uncomfortable conversation with Hidan, I had completely neglected to purchase the one item I desired. "Fuck my life," I groaned, leaning over to pound my forehead into the counter.

"What's up to your ass?" Hidan asked.

I lifted my head to give him an I'm-dead-inside look. "I forgot the fucking tea."

He gave me a sympathetic look, reaching over to pat my head. I pouted, then brushed his hand away. "I'm going to mope."

Hidan let me go, ruffling around in the bags as I stalked out of the kitchen. Kira passed by me, mouth opening to say something snide.

I completely ignored her, retreating to my room to feel sorry for myself.

I had been hiding under my covers for a while before a gentle knock sounded on my door. I groaned and heard the door creak open.

"Hey, kitten," Hidan called tentatively.

I sat up, glowering at him. "What?" I snapped.

He threw something at my face, the item smacking me on the nose.

"Dick," I hissed, immediately pressing on the bridge of my nose. I glanced down at the offending object.

A box of orange blossom tea. I looked up at Hidan who flashed a smirk at me.

"How'd you get this?" I asked, touched by the gift.

"I have my ways." He mused.

A smile spread across my face, and I launched myself at Hidan. He caught me easily, amused at my happiness. My arms latched around his neck, and I pressed a kiss to his lips.

Within seconds, Hidan had me pressed to my mattress, recapturing my lips in a steamy kiss.

Fireworks were exploding across my skin at his touch, and I gave in.

Hidan's lovemaking was surprisingly gentle but beautiful and passionate.

We melted into each other's arms, basking in the sweet aftermath of orgasm. I closed my eyes and buried my face into his skin, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

Sometime later, I was jarred awake by movement. Hidan's bare flesh was sliding across mine in an attempt to slip away. I shifted and met his gaze.

He smiled at me, and I felt my breath shudder at the sight of him. "Hello," he whispered, his lips mere inches from mine.

I returned his smile, closing the distance between us with a chaste kiss.

"Don't leave," I whispered.

He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "I'll be right back."

"Mm," I mumbled, lonely without his presence.

Hidan shuffled around the room, pulling his pants on before leaving the room.

Seconds later, another presence joined me.

"Ooooh," Suki squealed. I jumped, pulling my blanket closer to my body.

"Shut up," I grumbled.

"But Sakana," she whined. "You promised to talk to me."

I glared at her, mutely pointing at the door. "Go to bed."

She pouted as she left, and I heard her call out, "Good luck!"

A moment later, Hidan entered with a steaming mug. He placed it on the nightstand and joined me on the bed.

"Suki is weird," was his only comment before pulling me into his arms.

I made a noise of agreement, sitting up. Hidan handed me the mug.

I inhaled the scent of the tea, enjoying the kind gesture.

"Maybe I should sleep with you more often," I teased, before getting up from my comfortable spot. Hidan's eyes hungrily scanned my body, but I draped the yukata I had kept from the mission over my shoulders, concealing my nudity.

Instead of returning to bed, I seated myself on the wooden floorboards, pricking my finger with a senbon and drawing out Jashin's symbol in my blood.

Hidan was quick to join me, helping me spread the liquid across the wood.

"Kakuzu's going to bitch about this," Hidan muttered idly.

Not caring, I placed my hands on my thighs and closed my eyes to pray.

I felt connected to something greater than myself and thanked Jashin for his good graces, not exactly sure how praying worked.

After silently completing my prayer, I felt Hidan's hands sliding up my leg. My skin prickled at hos ghost of a touch, and I opened my eyes to meet his. The transformation had taken without my notice, and my skin mirrored the dark pattern of Hidan's.

Every second with him was breath-taking, especially when it came to the fierce compassion he had for his religion and his lover.

Hidan had me again, this time in the sanctity of our God's circle. If Jashin had a problem with it, He didn't make it known.

The union had felt different; more raw and passionate than the last. Perhaps the new level of sensitivity was due to the aftermath of prayer, but neither of us managed to speak through the intense pleasure, not that there were any words to describe how mind-blowing it had been.

After our skin had faded back, we returned to my bed, still stunned by the deed we had done.

Sometimes after listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, I had fallen into a sleep-like trance.

A deep voice reached my ears, "Congratulations, Sakana."

Jashin. I kneeled before him, and he tutted.

"Don't bow to me, how unbefitting of a new Okusan."

Standing up, I met God's gaze. "A what-now."

Jashin merely smiled at me. "Oh, Sakana... You didn't know?"

I was confused, ready to hear the explanation. "Know what?"

The smile spread further across his face and he leaned in, amused by my lack of knowledge.

"Oh, dear. It seems you weren't informed."

"Oh, come on!" I growled. "What?"

His red eyes glowed mirthfully as the words fell out of his mouth. "See, you and my prophet performed a sacred ritual, one that binds my followers together for eternity."

Flashes of the passionate act between Hidan and I popped into my brain, and I gaped at the God, the true meaning of his words finally clicking.

"Congatulations on your marraige, Sakana."


	11. Meddling Blondes and Big Squishy Sharks

Suki

I peered into Sakana's room, before moving out of the way. Zena and Kira took a quick look as well.

Our friend was currently wrapped up very snugly to the immortal Akatsuki member's chest.

"I told you," I grinned, excitement bubbling inside of me. "They did it."

Kira smirked, muttering "finally", before resuming the task I had interrupted her from to show her that Sakana was holding out on us.

Zena commented on how good that was for Sakana, leading me back down the hallway. "They're really cute together," she added.

I agreed, "Hidan is pretty hot. Just not as hot as Kisame."

Seriously, Kisame was the best Naruto character, and his death had sent me into a month-long depression.

Kira had called me a wuss so many times, although she was pretty upset when she had seen Sasori's demise at the hands of Sakura and Chiyo.

Zena drifted off somewhere in the base, likely watering the myriad of plants Zetsu had placed throughout the base.

The brunette was usually off in her little world, but I enjoyed spending time with her nonetheless. She was very sweet, could cook her ass off, and she looked like a wood spirit. I would wife her right up if she weren't hardcore crushing on the cannibalistic plant-man.

We hadn't discussed much Naruto, instead of keeping our conversations on our histories and current love lives.

Kira and I were a different story. I mostly talked while she listened, but she would occasionally throw out the information I hadn't even thought of yet.

She had logically pointed out that we had to have appeared right after Naruto's departure with Jiraiya, and judging on how the Akatsuki's missions weren't centered on capturing jinchuriki, I had to agree.

All of the missions I had been on with Itachi and Kisame were recon (meaning I got to spend the day in a luxurious hotel while the men did their ninja-stuff) or assassinations, which were pretty cut-and-dry.

I mean, Itachi was extremely skilled, so of course, his missions were always successful and concise. I had no reason to join them other than satiating my wanderlust and curbing my cabin fever, in all honesty. But Kisame was happy to bring me along, so we could spend more time together.

In Sakana's absence, I had gone on three two-day missions and two overnight missions. Kira was gone when I left, and back when I returned, and she didn't talk much about her missions, she didn't talk much about anything. She was withholding more juicy details than Sakana, but I couldn't force anything out of her.

Zena spent her days tending to a small garden in the back yard. She didn't seem to mind staying there with little company and didn't leave the base much. She was serene and really easy to get along with.

My sister was something else entirely. She got along well with some of the more stoic Akatsuki members like Sasori and Itachi, and she sure charmed the heck out of Pein, too, but she and Deidara argued constantly, though they weren't arguing. She also wasn't fond of Tobi, but I knew it was just Tobi and not Obito.

To be completely honest, she had opened up a lot more in the presence of the criminals, speaking more in a few weeks we had been here than she'd speak in six months at home.

Kira and I were a stark contrast; I was open and friendly, but she was quiet and reserved.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sight of my shark. I squealed at his return, running and jumping at him.

Kisa's large arms wrapped around me easily, catching me effortlessly. I pressed a kiss to his nose before looking over his shoulder and waving at Itachi.

He smirked and ruffled my hair, greeting me quietly.

They had gone on a mission overnight, and Kisame had promised to be back as soon as he could.

Now that he had made good on that, I got to cuddle with my shark.

Speaking of sharks, he was still holding me. I 'eep'-ed as his grip locked around my waist. He carried me off to 'our' room, no doubt to pass out for the next few hours.

Itachi shot me one last smirk before wandering off to go to Uchiha things.

I played my head in Kisame's shoulder as he carried me down the hall. "I missed you," I said.

"Suki, you were asleep for the majority of my absence," he chided me with a deep chuckle.

I pouted, "And I missed you for the entirety of it."

Kisame shook his head, clearly amused by my antics. At least someone enjoyed it.

To be fair, Kisame advised me not to torture Sakana as much as I did, but it was so fun to press her buttons.

Arriving in his room, Kisame dropped me onto his large bed before draping his cloak over the back of his desk chair and joining me on the soft mattress.

I cuddled with him until I was sure he was asleep, his snore rumbling lowly. As much as I wanted to pester him into doing something fun with me, he had just returned from a mission.

Slipping out from his clutch wasn't an easy feat, but I had learned how to leave him relatively undisturbed.

Since being freed from my feline form, Kisame and I had practically been inseparable, but I knew where to draw the line in my persistence. Usually, Itachi would be the one to decide whether my company would be a nuisance or not. Usually, it wasn't.

I crept from the room, closing the door softly behind me.

I was greeted by Sakana's tired gaze as I entered the kitchen. She had a mug clutched in her hands, and had stopped talking mid-sentence upon my intrusion.

"Good morning," I chirped, opting to drink water instead of tea.

"Mornin', Suki," Sakana yawned.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, taking a drink of water and watching her over the brim of my cup.

She blushed, looking at her tea. "Let's go with not really."

I set my glass down on the counter, leaning towards her. Zena was fluttering around the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

"Spill," I urged, "Come on, Sakana. You've been home for two days and you haven't told me anything."

Her green eyes darted between me and Zena, who was now standing beside me.

"Well- uh..." She began, her face reddening even more. She took a long sip from her teacup.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as she set her cup down.

"I'd prefer to figure it all out first," Sakana muttered, staring into her drink. "I know I keep putting it off but-" She cut herself off, and I felt a twinge of guilt in my gut.

"It's okay," I said, "I shouldn't be pressuring you so hard."

A ghost of a smile flashed across her face for a moment, before it was replaced with a deadpan look. "Why don't you tell me about you and Kisame?"

I felt my lips turn up into an excited grin, and I circled the counter and sat in the barstool next to her.

While I blabbered on about how well a relationship with the "demon shark" was going, Sakana listened patiently, occasionally tossing in a sarcastic remark.

Eventually, Zena had finished cooking and left to go gather any awake Akatsuki members for the meal.

She had made a spread of food, knowing how big some of the criminal's appetites were.

Sakana and I set the table with bowls and chopsticks before seating ourselves at the island again. Tobi had skipped in first, followed by Deidara and Kira. They walked by me, Kira making some snide comment about Deidara, and the artist mumbled some death threat as they sat down. Itachi had appeared somewhere in there as well, but I was distracted by Tobi's enthusiastic good morning hug. A few moments later, Zena returned with Zetsu and Kakuzu trailing behind her. Sakana greeted the miser with a nod, shoveling a bite of rice into her mouth with her chopsticks.

I waved to the two, but the sound of heavy footsteps caught my attention, and I turned to the doorway and locked eyes with my target. His eyes narrowed at the sight of me, and I broke out into a run at him. Kisame caught me like he always did, and carried me back to the kitchen.

Sakana apologized to Kisame on my behalf, but my shark just ruffled my hair and chuckled. He took a seat at the end of the table, next to my sister and Itachi.

Sakana started to laugh but froze as her eyes landed on the doorway. She dropped her eyes to her bowl again, glaring at the rice and egg resting in the bottom.

I glanced up to see Hidan lingering in the doorway, and flashed a smile at him. "Good morning, Hidan."

"Cat-bitch." He replied, before shuffling past me and joining his partner at the table.

I looked at Sakana, who was still staring at her food. "I'll be in my room."

I glanced at Zena, who stood at the counter opposite me, and raised an eyebrow at her, mouthing, 'what the fuck was that?' She shrugged one of her shoulders before resuming washing the dishes. I didn't eat, instead of draining the water from my glass before following Sakana's path.

True to her word, she was in her bedroom. I entered and shut the door behind me.

"Do you want to talk?"

She finished making her bed, then turned around and sat on it. "You're not gonna take no for an answer."

I shook my head. "That's the price of being my friend."

She dropped her face into her palms, groaning, "I didn't ask for that."

Shrugging, I joined her on her bed. She turned her body toward mine and put her head on my shoulder. "I just- it's hard. And complicated."

I nodded, understanding the atypical relationship between girl and criminal. "It's kind of weird, but I think I'm in love with Kisame," I said. "If that makes it any easier for you to open up to me."

Sakana sighed. "It doesn't."

"Listen, I know how Hidan can be," I started. "If he hurt you or-"

"That's not it..." Sakana interrupted me. "Hidan didn't do anything wrong but-" Her voice caught in her throat. Whatever it was, it was bothering her.

In the short, while I had known her, Sakana had taken everything in stride, with a sarcastic comeback and an amused smirk. Sakana was strong, and I knew she'd make a kunoichi I'd look up to. The Sakana I had met a few weeks ago wasn't the same shaken girl in front of me.

"But what?" I pressed, "Sakana?"

"I can't change it now," she muttered, looking into my eyes.

"I'm so confused right now," I admitted. "Sakana, I know you don't want to tell me, but if you don't, I can't offer you any advice."

She sighed, sitting back. "Then I'll show you."

After Sakana had shown me the cause of her stress, she had made me promise not to tell anyone, especially not Hidan.

She had explained that he hadn't done anything wrong but she couldn't bring herself to look at him, much less talk to him, in the wake of last night's events.

I offered her a few words of praise before returning to the living room. My shark and my sister were sitting on the couch, amused by something.

Stopping in the doorway, I watched them for a moment before the rogue Mist nin noticed me.

"Suki!" Kisame cried, and I skipped over to him to take my rightful place on his lap.

I kissed him quickly, before glancing at Kira. "You're in a good mood."

She turned her eyes to me, and I suppressed a smile. Of course, Kira's face seemed deathly serious, but the corners of her lips were just barely upturned, and her eyes sparkled mirthfully.

Kira wasn't the best at expressing emotion, but twenty-three years spent with her gave me the ability to almost read her mind.

"You're internally monologuing," Kira replied.

"And you say twin-telepathy isn't real."

From the time we were kids, we had this uncanny ability to know what each other were thinking. I called it twin-telepathy, but Kira was adamant there was some logical explanation for it.

Kira's insistent that it's not a real thing, but here we were in the Naruto-verse, getting pretty attached to this not real characters, so what does she know?

A lot. She's really smart but usually spent her time training her brain rather than her body. I, however, have been an athlete since childhood. After school, I was practicing in the gym while Kira sat on the bleachers, studying.

We were both accepted to the same University on different scholarships, where we shared a dorm room. Coming from a poor family, we were used to sharing a bedroom, so neither of us had any complaints.

Despite our differences, we got along extremely well. I wasn't dumb by any means, but she was way smarter than me. She would defend me against mean kids who would insult my intelligence, and I would back her up against physical threats.

I was internally monologuing again. I turned my head up to receive a kiss from Kisame, before standing up.

"I think I need some training." Kisame had offered to help me train weeks ago but had difficulty not going easy on me, so I resorted to any other Akatsuki who had the time.

Usually, it was Itachi, but he had taken to spending time reading medical ninjutsu books in his room.

Deidara and Sasori were nowhere to be found, so that left me with one option.

I found Hidan's door easily, as it was directly right of Sakana's, and rapped on it a few times. After a moment of rustling around and cursing, the Jashinist opened his door, glaring at me.

"What do you fuckin' want?"

I offered a friendly smile, "I was wondering if you'd spar with me. Taijutsu."

He sighed, and after a moment, agreed. "...Fine." Hidan closed his door and followed me down the hallway.

He didn't speak while we walked to the indoor training grounds, and I was glad for the silence. I had never really had an actual conversation with the Immortal Jashinist, and I hadn't been that much of a fan of his, considering what he had done to Asuma and Shikamaru.

Arriving at our destination, Hidan entered first and I followed. Sasori and Deidara were fighting; the puppeteer was moving his creations around on the ground, and the suicide bomber was flying around on a clay bird, picking off the wooden dolls one by one.

Hidan didn't look at them, making a beeline for the next available space, shirking off the various pouches of weaponry. I joined him after a minute, stretching my arms and legs in preparation.

"Ready?" Hidan asked, and I nodded in confirmation.

We began, Hidan rushing at me first. I dodged his punch, returning one of my own. As we fought, he would give me pointers on how to better my technique. He advised me to use my chakra to enhance the strength of blows, commenting on how a child could take ten of my punches with no effort.

He wasn't a bad sparring partner, I had assumed he wouldn't take it easy on me, but it was the opposite. He was training me.

Our battle ended with me on the ground, a bruise forming on my ribs.

"You could have easily avoided that," Hidan said, walking over to me. He helped me up, and I huffed at him.

"Not without stamina," I replied, breathing heavily.

"Then next time, work with someone to train your stamina." He replied haughtily. "Ingrate."

"Whatever." I took a long drink of water from my bottle, wiping my mouth across my forearm. "Hey, thanks for helping me."

He shrugged. "Had to blow off some steam."

"Yeah, but you held back," I informed him. "You're soft on us."

He rolled his pink eyes and started reattaching his pouches to his legs and hips. "You wish, blondie."

"Well, you're soft on Sakana."

He scoffed. "That's different."

I watched him, curious about who Hidan was as a person. He couldn't be that bad if Sakana liked him. "How?" I finally asked.

He shrugged, not looking up at me. "Because Jashin-sama gave her to me."

Finished with space, we walked toward the exit together. "So what's bothering her anyways?"

"Beats me," Hidan replied. "She bitched me out this morning for no reason, I was assuming you'd know."

I remembered my promise not to tell Hidan the real reason, so I offered a weak shrug, opening the door and stepping out into the hall.

"It's probably her time of the month or something," I said. "I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"Yeah, whatever. Just- if you want to spar again, let me know."

"'Kay," I replied as he walked away, before turning and walking the opposite direction.

Later, Kira and I were sitting on the sofa, watching her idiots arguing over which of their arts are better.

Kira cut into the argument, leaning forward. "Let me ask a question." They paused to look at her.

"How would someone admire art if it was destroyed as soon as someone looked at it?"

Sasori crossed his arms and gave Deidara a triumphant look. "My point exactly."

"That's not fair, yeah! The point, as I believe you are asking, of my art is that it is unique and can never be replicated for copying."

Kira made a noise, "Imagine having a favorite work of art and then attempting to display it. You can't, because it can't be replicated, as you say."

"That's the point, yeah!" He harrumphed and stormed out of the room. Sasori smirked and patted Kira on the head. She almost preened in his attention, and I giggled.

"You two are so very cute together."

My sister flushed, and Sasori glared at me, chorusing: "We aren't together!"

I shrugged, "Then you should be."

Sasori wordlessly walked away, mumbling something about daft girls and their usefulness.

I turned my eyes to my sister, who was glaring at me. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Stay out of it."

I smiled, "Whatever do you mean, dear sister?" She flicked me on the forehead before standing up and leaving the room.

Zena entered a moment later, softly telling me that dinner was ready. I nodded and trailed to the dining room/kitchen and nodded at Zetsu, who was eating a large chunk of raw fish.

"Hello, Zetsu-San," I said, eyeing his food. "Are you enjoying your meal?"

He made a noise as he took a large bite. "Zena-San is skilled at cooking. She gave me a fish."

Nodding, I picked a few pieces of sushi up and set them on my plate and sat down next to him. "I agree. She's wonderful."

Biting off another piece of fish, he nodded. "I would say that I tolerate her the most out of all of you. Not that it's saying much."

"Hm," I ate a piece of sushi before replying. "So you like her, then?"

"What do you mean? Of course, I like her, otherwise, I would have eaten her by now."

I scoffed. "You're soul mates," I pointed out. "You're saying you have zero romantic interest in her?"

"I never said that," White Zetsu said, but Black Zetsu narrowed his eyes at me. "Need I remind you that I am a cannibal with no room in life for romance?"

I finished my meal and stood up. "I guess if you say so, I just noticed that you're pretty close to her."

"That's because she feeds us." Black Zetsu began, "And she's not annoying constantly," his white-half finished.

"Ow," I said, washing my plate off. Zetsu was a jerk.


	12. Social Experiments and Medicinal Drugs

WARNING: This chapter contains the character use of medical marijuana and small discussions of mental illness. This is not entirely important to the storyline, but this chapter will later be used for Kira's character development.

This chapter will also contain some of your favorite Akatsuki members completely out of character.

Thank you.

Kira.

Since childhood, Suki had been the reason I lived; the only thing keeping me from offing myself.

I didn't think about that often, but occasionally the thought arose. Usually, I sulk off to my room, write a few poems, and smoke myself speechless.

Unfortunately, I didn't think marijuana was as easily accessible as at home. Fortunately, I knew the exact person to talk to.

After Suki drifted out of the kitchen, I sat next to Zetsu and turned my eyes to him.

"Good evening, Zetsu-san."

"If you pester me as the blonde did, I will eat you." He growled.

"I have a botany question. Do you know what weed is?"

Zetsu's golden eyes bored into me. "Of course I know what weeds are. Do you think I'm stupid?"

Ah, so that's a no. "No, Zetsu-san. I meant marijuana. It's a plant."

He didn't seem to know what I meant, so I explained the cultivation and uses of the 'drug'. "It's something that is used as medicine where I come from."

"We have the canna plant if that's what you mean."

I smirked, now we're talking. "Do you happen to have dried canna plant?"

"I suppose. Why?"

Oh, Zetsu... Sweet, innocent Zetsu.

After showing me his 'stash', I paid him for the herbs. "I'll return in a few minutes."

I easily found Sasori, who supplied me with a few scraps of thin paper, which he explained were for tracing. I didn't care what their intended use was, just what my intended use for them was.

He came with me, despite not having flesh or... lungs. I made a pit stop to Itachi's room, telling him to follow me.

Sakana was sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at the fireplace boredly. Taking pity on her for that disastrous meeting at breakfast, I nodded at her to follow me, and soon the four of us and Zetsu were gathered in Zetsu's greenhouse.

I expertly rolled the plant into the paper and snapped my fingers at Itachi. "Small Katon."

He created a tiny flame at the tip of his fingers, and I lit the spliff.

After taking a few drags, I passed it to Sakana, who did the same.

"Where did you get weed?" She asked, after exhaling smoke slowly.

"It's canna," Zetsu replied, taking the joint from her hand. "I grew it."

"That's fuckin sick," She replied. I glanced at Sasori, who was watching us with an amused look on his face.

Zetsu took a small puff, coughing, before passing it to Itachi.

"What is this supposed to do?" The Uchiha asked, regarding the small smoking item with apprehension.

I smirked, leaning back against a table. "It's going to help your eyes."

He shrugged, "Alright, I guess." He tentatively took a puff, breaking out into a fit of coughs as Zetsu had. Sakana giggled, the drugs already lifting her mood.

Itachi held it out to me, and I accepted it.

It was passed around the circle a few more times before Zetsu and Itachi were giggling. Sasori shot me another amused look.

After putting the joint out on my shoe, I felt the effects of the drug kicking in. Zetsu and Itachi were long gone; the psychopath was quietly carrying on a conversation between his two halves, and the Uchiha was extremely talkative.

He was carrying on a conversation about different types of poison with Sasori, who was also as interested as Itachi.

Sakana moseyed over to me, a smile creeping across her face. "Suki said you were smart, I just didn't think that this is what she meant..."

I shrugged, "I make do. Tell me, do you smoke?"

She nodded once, "Mm, sometimes. PTSD. If I have an attack, it's usually edibles. I am known to smoke, though. And what do you treat with it?"

Depression. Suicidal ideations, Anxiety. The list goes on.

Having a chemical imbalance in your brain isn't something easily remedied; in Sakana's case, an experience could render her something into a blubbering mess should an act or event trigger a flashback. My depression and suicidal thoughts had always been a damper on my life, hence the self-medicating.

Sakana and I carried on our conversation as we trod the familiar path to the living room. Surprisingly, my sister and Sakana's idiot were sitting across from each other, deep into a normal-seeming conversation.

I plopped down next to my sister, who gave me a knowing look and threw my legs across her lap. Sakana, with a huge-dopey smile across her face, sat down on Hidan's lap, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

He gave me a very confused look, as if I had taken his old, pissy Sakana, and replaced her with a smiling idiot. I did kind of do that, now that I think about it.

I shrugged, smirking at his confusion. I felt Suki's hand on my side, and before I could catch her hands, she yanked my new medicine from my hip-pouch, brandishing a joint at Hidan.

His look of confusion deepened, somehow.

Sakana cackled, "It's happy 'baccy"

"I'm sorry?" Hidan asked, looking between his not-girlfriend and the little white item.

"It's drugs," Suki muttered, holding it out as if its touch would poison her. "Kira got Sakana high."

Sakana barked out a laugh at that. "Not just Sakana! Ha! We left the babies with Pinnochio!" She was giggling in between words, and I realized she was correct.

"Shit," I muttered, standing up. "Not that I'm asking for help, but I don't want Sasori-san to murder me... So... Uh. Hidan, Suki, please accompany me to the Greenhouse."

Though they were confused, they followed me back to my new-favorite room, gawking at the sight of Zetsu and Itachi posing together while Sasori sketched them.

"Uhhh, what the fuck?" Hidan asked, taking in the image. "Seriously, emo-bitch, what did you do to them?"

I shrugged, walking over to Sasori and peering down at his drawing. He drew them separately, dividing their bodies into different pieces of a puppet. Itachi and Zetsu were giggling as the struck vogue poses.

Suki ran over to Itachi, scanning over his body like a concerned parent. "How are your eyes feeling, Itachi?"

"They don't hurt, this is very interesting." He said, looking at his hand. "I quite like this stuff."

"Me too, except now I'm really hungry?"

Itachi nodded, a smile rising to his face. "I am as well."

I was amused at the thought of these two murderous criminals having the munchies, and even more amused that I had been the one that had caused it.

Hidan and Sasori corralled the four of us, still giggling at absolutely nothing, and led us to the kitchen. Suki set off to find Zena, the four of us demanding something yummy to fill our tummies.

Itachi, Sakana, and I sat around the table, occasionally laughing at the stern look on Hidan's face. Zetsu dug through the fridge, devouring any leftovers that dared cross his path. Sasori had left to go find Pein and make some sense of the mess we were.

When Pein entered, we all broke out in cacophonous laughter. He glared at us, and all except Itachi fell silent. "Does somebody have a magnet?"

Zetsu howled from the fridge, and Pein turned his glare to me. "What did you do to them?"

I smirked, "Gave them medicine." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Kira, need I remind you that these men are expected to be ruthless killers, and you've rendered them completely useless?"

Pein was not amused. "Itachi has his eye problems and Zetsu has another person living in his brain. I'm helping them." I deadpanned.

"Mphmhmhph phahamhmph," said Zetsu, through a mouthful of raw fish.

"He has a point, Leader," Itachi said, nodding sagely.

I looked between the two of them as Sakana fell into another fit of laughter. Hidan snapped at her to shut up, and she bit back with a wonderful delivery of, "eat shit and DIE."

To which Hidan responded, "We're both immortal, dumbass." Itachi thought this was hilarious, as he burst into giggles.

"I literally cannot handle this. Zena, please feed them and make sure they return to their normal state without incident." The shadowy leader of Akatsuki left the room, muttering under his breath about dumb girls.

Zena nodded, already preparing a meal. I moved to the stool to watch her cook, and Zetsu took the seat next to me.

"Zena-chan, you're amazing." The plant man was really out of it, as he leaned forward and propped his chin on one of his hands. "I would gobble you right up."

Zena turned around, glancing at me. "Zetsu-san, please drink some tea."

He nodded eagerly. "Would you brew some Jasmine? Or Oolong?"

I nodded. "Make some for me too, please. Green."

She sighed. "You're even more demanding under the influence." She made the tea anyways, additionally pouring cups of orange hibiscus tea for Sakana and Hidan. The accepted their drinks, before Hidan drug Sakana off to, I assume, attempt to sacrifice her.

Zetsu practically moaned as he sipped his tea, happy with whatever Zena had picked out for him. Judging by the scent, it was some sort of peppermint. She also placed a plate of rice and vegetables in front of him, and he pouted.

"Woman, you can't make me eat this." Zetsu crossed his arms indignantly.

Zena sighed, shooting me an aggravated look. "I live off of solely fruits and vegetables," she explained. "Zetsu, you'll be fine if you eat a few carrot sticks."

Another pout crossed his face. "But Zena-chan..."

He was like a toddler. A usually bipolar cannibalistic murder-ish toddler.

Zena pushed Zetsu's plate to the side and took his hands in hers. She spoke to him gently, as if he were a toddler. "If you eat vegetables, you'll get a treat."

His eyes lit up, expecting a large hunk of unidentifiable meat. Zetsu quickly ate the carrots and rice, receiving praise from the short vegan woman. I snorted, and she cut her eyes at me as if to say we're not done with this.

I drained my cup of tea, winking at her. Standing up, I circled the counter to rinse my cup. Itachi stole my seat, so I left the kitchen with a soft call of 'goodnight', and I heard Sasori fall into step behind me.

We were headed to the same section of the base, so I slowed down to walk beside him. The walk to our rooms was silent, but I broke that before I stepped into my bedroom. "Goodnight, Sasori-san."

"We both know you aren't going to sleep." He said, startling me. I hadn't expected a peep from him.

"Neither are you," I replied, a smile playing at my lips. "Do you have something to do?"

He silently invited me into his room with an incline of his head. I slunk by, suppressing my cheesy grin. Sasori of the Red Sand was soft on a young, defenseless girl, and it was me.

I sat on his bed, and he took his seat at his desk, immediately resuming a drawing he had left unfinished. I laid back, staring up at his path of the ceiling. "Sasori-san," I began and felt his eyes on me. "What do you make of this 'soul-mates' gibberish?"

He grunted, then fell silent for a moment. "There's some merit to it- this 'prophecy'. We did manage to restore the four of you to your... human forms."

That's not at all what I meant, but I'm as emotionally retarded as he was. Suki kept hinting that we would make adorable babies- yet I didn't dispute the fact that a puppet man can't have course, I'd always admired Sasori, being a pretty strong opponent for Sakura to face- even though she was entirely useless for almost the entire duration of the series. I had to admit that Sasori was badass, but realistically I never thought of him as someone I'd like to, as Sakana would put it, bone. He was a figment of a Japanese man's imagination, one that he had made public by way of a cartoon.

Yet here I was, lying across his bed, watching him absentmindedly drawing lines across a paper.

I didn't press the matter further, instead of rolling to my side to pull out the now-abused joint from my hip. Sasori kept his eyes on the paper, eyes picking out any detail he wanted to add or change.

Snapping my fingers a few times, I was attempting to make a Katon but failed and cursed.

"Concentrate on your fingertip." Sasori murmured, his eyes still glued to his sketch.

I sighed, shaking my hands and flexing my fingers. I didn't have great dexterity, and my knuckles were rather sore. Eventually, I got it after a few more pointers from Sasori.

Curious, he joined me on the bed. "Why do you use that?"

"Mm, well," I began, exhaling a puff of smoke. "To help my mind function normally. Among other things."

He raised an eyebrow at me, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"I also prefer being inebriated to deal with my sister," I added. He snorted.

"I understand, but why this and not traditional medicine?"

Good question. "The pills they gave me made it worse. Suki freaked out and called me a zombie," I recalled my sister making me promise to never take any pills again. "She may seem like she doesn't like it, but she prefers this version of me over that version of me."

He made a noise of acknowledgment.

"Sasori-san," I started, now too aware of our casual proximity. "I'll be honest here."

Sasori's brown eyes fixed on mine, and I swallowed my words.

"Well- uh, okay. Do you care about this love bullshit?" I felt like a young girl again, asking a cute boy to be my valentine, feeling a small glimmer of hope, but already preparing myself to be let down hard.

"There's some merit." He repeated.

I felt myself droop. "I see."

"I mean, you do make an attractive company," Sasori said, and the sound of my heartbeat filled my ears.

I stammered something out, and he chuckled. Oh.

Did I just fucking swoon? Did Sasori just say that?

"S-Sasori-san," I began. "I fail to see how this could benefit either of us."

"Perhaps we'll see," Sasori smirked at me. "If you don't mind, I'd like to use this opportunity as an experiment."

I could barely string my words together, and knowing that I would most likely regret it, I agreed to be his emotional lab-rat.


	13. Shirtless Ninja and Romance Festivals

**Zena**

I furrowed my brow, staring down at the swirl of translucent egg whites and yellow-orange yolks. I was still processing the aftermath of Kira's antics, and I was doing it by cooking. I found myself growing more and more frustrated by it the more I glared at the eggs.

I was more-so disappointed by the redhead- she was provided a mentally unstable cannibal with mind-altering chemicals without fully knowing the after-effects that would be left on the ninja. For all I knew, Zetsu could snap at any moment and go on a people eating spree, and he'd likely begin with Itachi and I. Instead of looking like a toddler waiting patiently for a treat, he could be eating my organs...

I shuddered and cast my gaze away from the adorable men. _They're not toddlers. You're not their caretaker. As much as you want to coddle them, ignore the urge. They're_ not _children._

"Ne, Zena-chan..." I looked at Zetsu, who smiled sweetly at me. "You promised me a treat."

I nodded in confirmation, though I had forgotten my promise. "Right. Anything specific you'd like to eat?"

He was quiet a moment before a grin spread across his face. "Could I eat you?"

Itachi spat out a sip of tea he had just drank, and I snorted. "There will be _no_ cannibalism."

Zetsu's grin quickly faded into a smirk, but he was quiet as I felt around in the top of the fridge.

"However, I have something else you can snack on." I finally found the object I was searching for (though one of the two _tall, strong_ ninjas could have helped the 5" girl with a task she was trying to climb the refrigerator to complete- but hey, they were retarded at this point). I pulled the ceramic cookie jar down and snagged two of the sweet baked treats before sliding it between the two hungry ninjas, who descended on them like wolves. I made a mental note to refill my stash, a task that I looked forward to. I was too busy contemplating what recipe to use that I hadn't noticed Itachi's soft praise until he cleared his throat.

"Hmm?" I looked at the raven, who's hair was loose around his shoulders. He seemed at ease, something I'd never seen in my four months of knowing the ninja on a personal level.

"Zena-san, you're quite amazing." He repeated, and I smiled at him. "You can cook, you enjoy cleaning, you're a rather sweet person, and these cookies are so delightful, I'm beginning to think you've put Opium in them."

I snorted, "Thank you, but they've only got walnuts- and _love."_ I giggled playfully, and Itachi let out a soft laugh.

"If I weren't disgusted by humanity, I'd pay your father a handsome dowry."

I flushed, unsure of how to respond to the compliment, but I was cut off before I could. Zetsu was suddenly on me, pulling me close to his body. He snarled at the Uchiha, "This is mine, **get your own."**

I flushed hot with anger, wrenching myself away from the bipolar plant-man. "Zetsu-san, I'm not an object, and I'd prefer it if you wouldn't refer to me as such. If you'll excuse me," I swallowed down the wave of anxiety and locked eyes with Itachi, "I require a shower."

I quickly and awkwardly excused myself from the now-silent kitchen and nearly bumped into Suki and Kisame, who were wrapped in a pretty intense kiss. His blue hair was tousled from sleep, and he had dark purple bags under his eyes. No doubt his girlfriend had roused him from his slumber to bitch about her twin. I nodded at the tall blue shark-man, who mumbled 'goodnight, Zena-san'. I grunted and quickened my pace.

Eventually reaching my destination, I threw open my bedroom door and slammed it behind me.

_Did that just happen? No, I'm sure that there's some reason Zetsu had acted so odd, most likely caused by Kira's influence._

After calming myself with a few deep breaths, I gathered a fresh set of clothes and a bathrobe and set out for the bathroom. Our section of the base was identical to the others- our wing had three bedrooms along one side of the hall and a bathroom across from the middle room- my room.

I entered the bathroom and locked the door, quickly undressing as the shower heated up. I stepped into the hot spray of water and felt my muscles start to loosen. I groaned, flexing my fingers, warming my joints and knuckles. I wanted to melt into a puddle and slide down the drain.

Perhaps Zetsu was only attempting affection because his Leader demanded it. His nice acts would be meaningless. And since 'they' hadn't yet figured out a real reason to keep us around, I would have to supply them with a reason.

Fortunately, I didn't mind menial tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or playing housewife to 10+ criminals and three 20-something-year-old girls.

I began absently cleaning myself, washing, and rinsing my hair. I was working conditioner through my thick locks when I heard a slight thump. I grabbed the nearest object- the bottle of shampoo- and peeked out of the curtain.

I was confronted with the sight of a half-clothed (and surprisingly lean) Zetsu.

"Oh, my freaking god!" I shrieked, registering that he was undressing and I was stark naked. I yanked the curtain around myself, "Zetsu!"

He regarded me with a raised eyebrow as if there was nothing wrong with the scene. "Yes, Zena-chan?"

I growled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He shrugged. "I'm simply joining my mate in the shower-"

"Excuse me, what!?" I jumped as he moved to drop his pants. He paused to stare at me. "Zetsu-san, I am _not_ your mate."

The plant-man scoffed. "Not true. Your seal required 'true loves kiss' to restore you- I kissed you, you changed, therefore I am your mate."

"The inexplicable bond of our souls doesn't define our relationship, mutual consent does."

He raised a green eyebrow. "Are you not consenting?"

I shook my head. "No. In my world, a relationship like a mate would start after two people spent ample time together and _both_ decided to pursue a deeper connection."

"Hm," he mumbled, "That's stupid."

I couldn't argue, traditional courtship rites were a tad outdated and moronic, but I wasn't going to let him think that he owned me simply because something in his thousand-year-old mind dictated that I was.

"You are mine," His white half almost mused, but his black hair carried on the statement, "and I intend to show any other rivals for your affection as much."

So he didn't care about the romantic aspect of a relationship, just the right to 'own' me and flaunt it should anyone else show interest in me?

That's... so incredibly toxic, I realized as a glare settled on my face. "Get the hell out."

He looked taken aback, "What?"

"You heard me," I bit out, "Get the fuck out, Zetsu!" I shrieked the last part, and he looked like a kicked puppy for a moment before slinking back and slinking down into the shadows. Once I was sure he was gone, I breathe out a deep sigh.

The water was cooling off by now, and I re-adjusted the temperature and hissed at the still-cold water. _Damn it!_

I rinsed my locks in the cold water and hastily exited the shower. The bathroom was cold again, and I wrapped the too-large bathrobe around my frame. After toweling off my hair and discarding my dirtied clothes in the hamper, I exited the bathroom, nearly running into somebody for the fifth time that day. I should _probably start watching where I'm going._

It was Zetsu again, looking considerably more stressed than the last time I had seen him. He was still shirtless.

"Freakin' shirtless ninjas freakin' popping up outta nowhere," I mumbled, attempting to move past him.

" **Zena-san** ," The tone of his voice stopped me in my tracks. "I-ahem- I apologize for my behavior earlier, and my sudden forwardness."

I shifted uncomfortably, still angry about the confrontation.

"I understand that you are nobody's property, and will never be so, **however, this is how it is here.** I can't lie, I think you're an amazing woman and I intend to right that wrong with you."

I was taken aback by his openness and honesty, but couldn't find the right words to say.

"I am willing to commit to your earthly dating rituals **if you'd allow me**."

A smirk crept across my face. "Zetsu, are you asking me on a date?"

He returned my smirk, "Something like that."

* * *

The next morning I woke like I usually did; with Tobi jumping on me and chanting, "Pancakes!" mere inches from me face.

"Alright," I relented, sitting up. "Fine, let's go!"

"Yippee!" Tobi cheered, standing up straight to let me sit up. "Pan-cakes! Pan-cakes! Cakes-In-A-Pan!"

The cheery child-like young adult skipped from my room, leaving my door open. I followed after him, already missing the warmth of my bed.

In the kitchen, Tobi had everything prepared for me, having already memorized the steps necessary to make the fluffy cakes. He refused to make them for himself because he claimed that mine were made with 'magic'.

The masked man had also prepared a cup of tea for himself and had started a pot of coffee for anyone who'd want some.

It beeped to signify its readiness to drink as I walked in, and I took a deep lungful of the aroma of hot-bean-water. There was a momentary reprieve in the bitter liquid sliding down my throat, a deep contented sigh immediately following. "Good morning, Tobi-Kun,"

He nodded at me, "Good morning, Zena-chan. You went to sleep with wet hair again."

I frowned, glancing at a tendril of messy brown hair. "It's alright," I mused, washing my hands. "Kira kind of caused a scene last night."

"Mm? How so?" This was asked in a deeper voice, Obito's voice.

Reluctantly, I told him about Kira's antics. He was surprisingly interested in the tale. "Hm, so they behaved erratically, but were ultimately alleviated from some of their... _conditions_?"

I hummed in confirmation. "Zetsu was particularly out-of-character, though."

"Really? What happened?" Obito usually seemed more interested in our conversations when I brought up the bipolar plant-man. I was starting to think he shipped us.

After cooking a dozen chocolate-chip pancakes, I plated them and presented them to the ecstatic man. He slipped his mask to the side and ate quickly, grinning through the mouthful of sweet cakes and chocolate.

I sipped my coffee, watching him devour his meal contentedly.

When he finished, he replaced his mask and patted my head. "Thank you for the meal, Zena-chan."

I smiled, bringing my mugs to my lips for another sip of coffee, "My pleasure."

"So," He began, "You said that Zetsu-san was acting strange?"

I sighed, "Yeah, Itachi may have said something about wanting to marry me over cookies, and Zetsu got pretty territorial."

"Ah," Tobi said, "Zetsu is known for possessiveness."

"So much so that he called me his 'mate' and tried to join me for my shower."

He barked out a laugh, "I take it that didn't go over so well."

"You'd be correct," I deadpanned, "He did, however, apologize and ask me on 'something like' a date."

Tobi squealed, and I felt like I was making all his little OTP dreams come true.

"Wait, what do you mean 'something like'?"

I shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure, but I am pretty excited."

Deidara and Sasori entered the kitchen then, effectively killing my conversation with Obito. The Uchiha resumed his child-like persona.

"Zena-chan made pancakes and they have chocolate in them!" He shrieked, and Deidara struck him across the back of the head. Tobi yelped and grabbed at his head comically.

"Here," I offered the blonde a plate stacked with pancakes and covered in homemade syrup. He drooled and accepted the food. "I'll be making a proper breakfast if you can hang out for a little while."

"I'm afraid we've got a mission," Sasori cut in. "As it stands, we're seven minutes behind schedule due to the idiot's insistence to brush his hair five times." _So he wasn't very happy._

"Oh, is Kira tagging along?" I asked, suddenly aware of her absence.

"We'll be back before this afternoon," Deidara explained. "And Leader-sama said she's grounded."

I felt a smirk tug at the corner of my mouth. "Well then, eat up and be on your way." I chided the bomber. "That way Sasori-san will stop trying to burn a hole into the back of your skull."

Deidara gulped and quickly finished off his meal, wiping his hands on a towel and pecking me sweetly on the cheek. "Thank you for the meal, Zena-chan!"

"No problem," I mumbled as they disappeared.

Tobi had also disappeared sometime during my conversation with the artists, leaving me alone to cook breakfast in peace.

I wasn't bothered; that just meant there were no witnesses for what I was about to do.

Having no radio or music, I began to sing my versions of 90's songs and dance around the kitchen as I cooked, baked, and mixed up breakfast.

I was halfway through 'semi-charmed life', too engrossed in the music playing in my head, to notice that I was no longer alone.

I turned away from the bowl of pancake mix and ran into Kira, who had been standing directly behind me, watching me act stupid.

"Oh dear Jesus," I breathed, pressing my palm to my chest. "You scared the crap outta me."

She grinned, clearly amused. "Have Deidara and Sasori left yet?"

I moved around her to flip the cakes before they burned, "About twenty minutes ago."

"Hmm," she mused, preparing a cup of tea for herself.

By the time she had fully steeped her aromatic tea bag, I had produced several more pancakes to match the eggs and bacon I had already fried.

I grabbed myself a single pancake and doused it in my homemade blueberry syrup and sat at the island-counter.

"Listen," I began after swallowing a lump of sticky pancake. "I understand your reason for dosing Zetsu-san and Itachi-san, however, I can't agree with it."

"What do you mean?" She asked, setting her mug down and narrowing her eyes at me.

"It was rather reckless," I started, "You didn't know what would happen, giving drugs to these notoriously mentally unstable criminals."

"I'd understand the concern if it were something harder, like meth or speed. It was marijuana, the epitome of 'chill-out' drugs. I mean, except for horse tranquilizer... Anyways, you know what it's like, why are you so bothered by it?"

I tried to refrain from making a face, but Kira caught me. Her black-rimmed eyes widened, and I swallowed.

"What? Zena, have you _never_ been high?" She asked, genuinely surprised.

"I haven't," I admitted with an indignant sniff. "Nor do I have the desire to."

Kira scoffed, "You're like, the _queen_ of tranquility. I'd only assumed you'd experienced everything that life had to offer..."

"As I said, I don't have any curiosity about it." I moved around the counter to rinse off my now empty plate. She handed me her mug and left the kitchen with a "see ya".

* * *

Sakana had insisted on cooking lunch, so I didn't bother nearing the kitchen for a few hours. Not having anything else to do with my day, though, was hell.

I ended up wandering the halls absently until I stumbled into Zetsu, who caught me easily.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I stood back on my own feet. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's alright," Zetsu's white half said quietly.

We stood in awkward silence for a moment before Zetsu broke it. "Would you mind helping me in the garden?"

I agreed and followed him through the house.

The next hour of my afternoon was spent digging up a row of holes and planting seedlings. Zetsu had no organizational system for his garden, but I tried to group similar plants to the best of my ability.

It was serene, and neither of us spoke unless we had to, but it was a lovely way to spend a few hours. After that, Zetsu helped me tend the plants in my corner of the garden.

"Your sprouts are growing nicely," White Zetsu commented. "I'm impressed."

"Thank you," I bowed my head slightly. "Though you've put more work into them than I have."

He made a noise of dissent but didn't comment.

We went our separate ways afterward, though both of us were covered in clumpy soil and green leaves, I decided on just changing my clothes, while he mumbled something about taking a shower.

* * *

Upon entrance to my room, I was greeted by Konan.

"Zena-chan, I have ordered from Pein-sama." She said from her perch on my bed. Something silky and green was folded beside her.

"Hai," I said, and she smirked.

"There is a festival in the village. You're going to attend with Kisame, Suki, Sasori, Kira, Hidan, and Sakana. Zetsu will join you in an hour or so, but he had some recon work." The only female Akatsuki member explained.

She went on to explain that the men were performing a top-secret assassination mission, and the other girls and I were to act as if we were all simply enjoying the festival together. Of course, we were also free to enjoy the festival once the mission was complete.

Konan held up the folded object to me finally, and it unfolded out into a beautiful silk green yukata with darker green leaves decorating it.

"Oh, it's lovely," I smiled, reaching out to touch the smooth fabric. "I don't know how to wear one of these, though."

"No worries," Konan assured me, "I'll help you."

She set to work, twisting my hair up and around, pinning it on top of my head. Then she dusted my face with makeup and helped me into the gown.

When I finally got a look at myself, I didn't even register that it was me for a moment. I looked... strikingly beautiful.

I thanked Konan for her hard work and let her lead me out into the living room.

"Hot damn!" Sakana cheered upon my arrival. "Girl you is fine."

I flushed but bowed my head in thanks.

"You look amazing!" Tobi and Suki chorused before exchanging a look.

"Yeah," Kisame added. "You look nice."

I realized then that everyone else was already ready, and they were just waiting on me. "Sorry to hold you all up," I apologized.

"No worries, Hidan is dragging ass." Sakana waved her hand flippantly.

I took the time to study their different looks while we were waiting on Hidan's presence.

Suki was wearing a sky blue yukata with a white cloud design littering the top of her gown. Kira's was similar, though hers depicted the night sky with twinkling stars.

Sakana had on a blood-red gown with black lines etched across, but unlike the rest of us, her gown was only knee-length. I made a mental note to as Konan where the beautiful garments came from.

Kisame and Sasori were in plain yukatas, but their partners were wearing basic black ninja gear.

"What will Itachi and Deidara be doing?" I asked, curious.

"Kakuzu, Tobi, Itachi, and Deidara will be completing a mission 15 miles south. They are under strict orders, and this mission is confidential, so that's all you're authorized to know." Konan explained as Hidan and Kakuzu entered the room.

With all members present, save for Zetsu, we departed for our mission. Kisame and Suki took the lead, traveling north down the dusty road. Sasori and Kira followed directly behind them, and Sakana took off, Hidan chasing her down the road.

Eventually, we reached a clearing close to the town. Kisame, Hidan, and Sasori performed a quick henge Jutsu and disguised themselves.

Kisame now had a more natural skin color, with black hair and eyes... He looked a tad like Zabuza, but nobody commented on it.

Sasori was now a brunette, his eyes were baby blue. Hidan had a thatch of Uzumaki-maroon hair and green eyes. He looked like he was trying on a poor cosplay of Nagato.

The others quickly broke off to secure different sections of the village, leaving Kisame, Suki, and I standing at the entrance of the town.

Kisame led us down the road and ducked into an alley for a moment, before emerging and announcing that he had just spoken with Pein.

"Leader-sama said that Zetsu-san should be here soon, but until then you can stay with us."

"Thank you, but I want to look at the stalls, and I know Suki is starving."

Her stomach growled loudly and she grinned nervously. "I _was_ hoping to snag some Dango."

Kisame smiled and patter her head. "Will you be alright?"

I beamed at his concern. "Yes, I'll be fine. Now, go. Enjoy yourselves." I shooed them away.

They left but didn't go far. I could still see Suki's bouncing blonde head peeking up over the crowd, and it wasn't hard to spot her- even with a henge active, Kisame still towered over most of them civilians.

I took to admiring displayed goods, but one cart caught my eye. The stand had an assortment of bejeweled accessories, hairpins, and brooches with intricate designs and small, shining gems.

"They're beautiful," I told the old woman who stood near the stand.

She bowed her head and took a step closer to me. "My husband and I made them," she told me.

"You've done a wonderful job," this brought another smile to the old woman's face. "How long have you been doing this?"

"We've been married for sixty years," she began, "and we've been crafting for forty."

I bought one of the woman's pins, it was silver and thin, but carved up the metal stem and had a few tiny Peridot gems settled into the top. She helped me pin it into my hair and patted me on the back.

"Young woman," the wise woman began, "You might never find who you're supposed to spend your life with if you don't step outside of your bubble and look at life with a different perspective."

I nodded, though not understanding what she meant.

Other customers were approaching, so I bid her farewell and went on my way.

* * *

I found myself near the liveliest part of town; an open square where people were dancing and singing. Glancing around, I could barely spot the top of Kisame's head, and let myself feel more at ease.

"Excuse me," a young man with white hair and dark green eyes approached me. "Miss, would you like to dance?"

"Uh—" I started, "I'm not a great dancer."

The man offered me an understanding smile, "I promise I won't let you fall."

"Alright," I agreed, taking his outstretched hand.

He led me on the dance floor, expertly guiding me to the music.

"My name is Sezu," he said after a moment.

"Zena," I replied, shifting my hand in his palm.

"It's a pleasure to dance with you, Zena-chan." He smiled, kissing my hand.

I flushed, "Likewise, Sezu-san."

After a few minutes of twisting me around, Sezu excused himself. I thanked him, and he thanked me, and then he was gone.

Another man approached me, this one with a much stockier build. He didn't as much ask me to dance as he took my hand and led me off, but I didn't fight it, instead opting to just get the dance over with and duck back into the crowd.

His idea seemed to be different as he held onto me for a few songs, his hands slowly taking away inches of my dignity.

I finally grew tired of pushing his hands away and stomped on his foot hard.

He didn't like that.

Sudden pain in my scalp told me that he had a fistful of my hair. I yelped, but he clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Listen, tease, you're gonna be nice and quiet, you're gonna come with me, and I'm not gonna hurt ya, okay?"

I nodded mutely, his hand still covering my face. Nobody looked at us, it was as if we were invisible to them.

I realized that this was how I was going to die- I had stupidly assumed that the only bad guys in the world were the Akatsuki, but here I was, no doubt minutes away from being raped and murdered.

Thinking of the only thing that could get me out of this, I told the man, "I'll scream if you don't let me go."

He sneered, "Then scream, dear. They won't hear you."

I gulped. "What do you mean?"

He snorted, "You are stupid. They're under a genjutsu." He gave me a twisted grin, "Now, shall we?"

As the man drug me off, I couldn't help but look around, trying to catch _anyone's_ attention. My struggles were futile, nobody batted an eye in our direction.

"Please," I finally pleaded, "Don't."

He said nothing but sneered again as he spirited me away.

In the abandoned alleyway, he let my hair go and pulled a kunai out. The sharp steel instrument glinted in the few remaining shreds of daylight.

I gulped, watching his face as he turned the tool around in his fingers. Before I could register the movement, he was on me in a second, the blade now pressing into the soft skin of my throat.

His other hand was feeling me through my yukata, the thin material offering no resistance to his advances.

"Please," I pleaded once more, but he silenced me with a powerful backhand. I felt the blade nick my skin as the force sent me staggering to the left.

"Shut up, bitch, There's no escape."

I felt anger rise like bile; burning at the inside of my chest and threatening to spill out into my throat.

This man, who seemed to think he could take what he wanted... This man, who seemed to think he could do what he wanted... This man was garbage, and he didn't deserve to exist in this world.

The rage rose, warming up my arms, heat licking at my palms.

Words and emotions came to me, and I mirrored them, yet I didn't know what they meant.

" _Plant style: One Thousand Vines."_ I murmured, disconnectedly watching the green tendrils burst from the ground and impale the horrendous man repeatedly.

Eventually, it stopped, and his corpse fell to the ground, lifeless. I sank to my knees, heaving.

My pretty yukata was ruined, the pin I had purchased had been lost when that man took a hold of me by my hair. I wiped the blood off of my face with the back of my hand but realized that I had only succeeded in wiping more across my cheek than I had attempted to remove.

A few long moments later, I heard someone calling out for me. "Zena!"

I turned to look at the entrance of the alleyway; there the other man I had met stood, taking in the gory scene with an odd look in his eye.

"Are you alright?" He asked, running over to me and kneeling at my side.

"I-... I think I'm alright." I finally mumbled. "How did you find me?"

He smiled softly, "There was an enormous chakra surge."

I nodded, _that makes sense_.

I suddenly remembered that the others were still scattered about, and suddenly stood up. "I need to find my friends."

"You're a mess," Sezu-san said, "Let me help you."

"No!" I cried, backing away from him. "I'm sorry, but after what just happened—I can't trust you."

He looked like a kicked puppy for a second, but nodded in understanding and disappeared.

* * *

I couldn't find any of the others, but the town was mostly empty; everyone had taken to the riverside and the hills to take in the fireworks show at dusk.

The benefit of the abandoned town was that there was nobody to give me odd looks for being covered in blood.

"Zeeeena!" A masculine voice called from a few streets away.

I ran toward the voice, once again bumping into Zetsu.

I was more than relieved to see the plant man, even if it were only his white half.

"Zetsu-san!" I cried, practically burying myself into his robe. "I need you to help me-"

"Dispose of a body?" He asked, "Not to worry, I've got it covered. Sasori-san found the mess and called Leader-sama. The person you took out was the person we were sent to assassinate."

That man was so strong as to have not one, but FOUR Akatsuki members sent after him, but a weak young woman took him out?

"So your-uh, well, black Zetsu is taking care of it, right?"

Zetsu nodded. "Zena-chan, are you hurt?"

"Mm. Just tired." I mumbled. He swept me into his arms and we phased into the ground, ready to go home and sleep.


	14. Festivals, Important Talks, and Jashinism

Sakana

Hidan gave me the news: Our sweet little Zena had single-handedly taken down their target, and Zetsu had taken the tired girl back to the base.

"You all are pretty fuckin' special, you can't lie." Hidan laughed when I commented on how strong she had to be to do that.

"There's something else going on," I insisted. "Jashin has graced us or some shit."

He snorted, his green eyes twinkling in the leftover light. We had taken the trek up the river a little bit and found a nice craggy hilltop that offered a nice view of the fireworks show.

I retrieved a bag with a few sticks of Dango inside and pulled one out to share with him. I'd promised to bring a few to Itachi when he learned that we would be attending the festival during his mission, but surely it wouldn't kill him to have a tad less.

We ate the sticky sweet pastry balls off the stick before the sun was swallowed by the horizon.

As the sun set, fireworks exploded across the sky, thundering and cracking against the cheers of the crowd.

"It's beautiful," I admired. "I've never seen anything like this."

Hidan was silent, but he had heard me. A few moments of quiet enjoyment passed before he cackled at a particularly large explosion. "That fruity bitch would like this shit."

I agreed, Deidara would enjoy the explosives. Too bad he was missing out. :p

"I wouldn't share this moment with him anyways," I mumbled, glancing at Hidan.

He looked so beautiful in the fading sun, but he didn't look like himself.

"Hidan, could you..." I began, and he looked at me curiously as I tried to find the words. "Ehh, get rid of the henge please?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What, I don't look fuckin' hot?"

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, so I looked away. "No, it's just... Eh, Well, I like you better."

He quieted down, but I could tell he was embarrassed too.

"I like you too." He finally replied, as he carefully placed his hand on top of mine. I glanced at him, but he was looking away as well, obviously too embarrassed to show me his true feelings. I can't say that I blamed him; when it came to Hidan, my feelings were always turbulent.

I fixed my eyes on the horizon, butterflies, and bubbles fluttering up my throat. I didn't say anything, and neither did he, but we both knew better than to interrupt a beautiful moment with trivial bullshit.

The fireworks came at a slower and slower pace until there were no more. Hidan finally spoke then.

"Sakana," though his voice was level, it carried a hint of concern.

I looked at him through a curtain of poorly dyed hair.

"I don't understand you."

It was my turn to give him a look. "What do you mean?"

"One minute you're so kind and caring, then the next you're fucking distant and pissy."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "It's not intentional," I promised. "It's just- hard and I just-"

"Is it that fucking thing that made you bitch out on me the other day?" He suddenly asked.

Oh yeah... I glanced at my hands, happy that the mark wouldn't show unless I was in a ritual. "Hidan- I want to tell you-"

He furrowed his brow. "Don't I deserve to know?"

I bit my lip. It did involve him, and he had a right to know that our actions had left us in the predicament we were in... "Can I show you instead?"

He shrugged but helped me stand. He handed me a kunai when I asked, and I dug the blade into my thumb.

Using my blood, I drew a circle in the dirt and placed myself into it.

I could already feel him mirroring my actions, scraping Jashin's symbol into the dirt with his toe. When he sat across from me, our knees touched, and I felt my skin changing.

Opening my eyes, I saw that Hidan was transformed too, his skin a copy of mine.

"Here," I spoke, holding my left hand out to him. He took it and studied it for a moment.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be seeing." He admitted, after turning my hand over several times.

"This, baka," I bit, twisting my hand back and showing him my finger.

"Holy shit." Hidan groaned, before looking at his hand. The mark was there on his too; a striking red line circling the ring finger of his hand. "Are we?"

I answered with a silent not.

"Holy shit," he repeated. "We're..."

I nodded, "I- 'm conflicted about it." I admitted finally.

"No shit." He laughed, scratching the back of his head.

I closed my eyes and leaned back onto my palms. "I think I could do this forever," I sheepishly admitted.

"Heh," Hidan patted my head, "I think so too."

Our bout of getting along didn't last very long, and on our trek back to the village, we were already bickering.

"I don't want a huge tacky event," Hidan complained, "Is this not enough?"

"All I said was that I wanted to do something different in celebration," I retorted. "I didn't realize you'd be a complete ass about it."

"Why do we have to do anything? It's all fucking stupid and pointless anyway," he mumbled under his breath. I kicked him in the shin and he yelped as he fell over, "You cunt!"

"Fight me then, motherfucker!" I bit, "Or are you a pussy?"

His rose-colored eyes flashed dangerously as he stood up. "What'd you say, you cat-bitch?"

"Pus-sy," I teased, as suddenly he tackled me.

He wasn't trying to harm me, despite my immortality. He could easily decapitate me and drag my body back home... But it wasn't worth the trouble. Despite this, I fought back, fearing what torturous act he had in mind. I struggled with all of my might, but Hidan easily overpowered me. He pinned my arms down and smirked at me. "Guess I'm not a pussy." He sneered.

"That's still to be determined," I bit back, sticking my tongue out at him.

He leaned forward and bit my tongue, so quick I couldn't register it. I was left with a throbbing pain on my tongue and no way to ease the pain, as my arms were still being held down.

"You dick!" I bit out, struggling against his grip.

He cackled as he held me down with ease, poking my sides as I wheezed and tried to fight him off.

Eventually, I managed to wriggle my foot up and kick him off of me.

As he went flying, I stood and dusted myself off.

He was back up in an instant, looming over me with an evil glint in his eye. I gulped, turned on my heel, and broke into a sprint.

With my new ability to hone my chakra, thanks to the strenuous training I had been putting in with Kisame and Itachi, who had arguably the best chakra control out of the bunch, I was able to keep just ahead of Hidan, though I had gotten close to being captured a time or two.

The weekly lessons with the duo were mostly comprised of Suki and I competing over who could progress the fastest, however, Kira would occasionally join us and practice her chakra control. That happened every few weeks, so she was progressing much slower than her sister and me.

Nevertheless, he caught me just outside of the village, wrapping both of his wiry arms around me as he took me down.

"You're gonna get it," he promised with a hiss as he dragged me to my feet, a firm grip on my wrist. I gulped but was utterly entranced by his dangerous aura.

I let him take me home, following the winding road behind him. He never let go of my wrist.

The next morning, I awoke sore from the awful experience Hidan had put me through the night before.

Oh, don't think like that, While there had been a bit of kissing, he had mostly tickled me until my sides had felt like they were going to burst. Kakuzu had complained about how annoying my laughter had been, so my Jashinist had placed some silencing seal on the wall.

I made a mental note to ask about that, in my few moments of clarity. I surmised that it came in handy when interrogating enemies with excessive force, or when sacrificing unworthy heathens...

Speaking of which, I had been suppressing the quiet urges that Jashin had been giving me, but I didn't want to push how far I could disobey Him. I could only think that he was letting me process the new development in my and Hidan's relationship, but the strong pull in my gut from the festival gave me the impression that my God was going to be demanding souls.

For some reason, He needed me here; to carry on some grand task for his followers, ones that I know nothing about, he needed me in this world... to keep Hidan alive, for some reason.

His death was something big, I must admit. Though he hadn't died. I was sure that somehow if Hidan's remains had been uncovered somewhere along the line, he could heal and carry on the goal. The problem was, I couldn't understand why Jashin would want the whole Shikamaru ordeal to be prevented in the first place.

I was choosing not to wonder what the overall goal was, instead of focusing on keeping up with what Pein and Obito expected of us, but it was time to confront Lord Jashin and discover what my purpose truly was.

Letting out a low groan, I stretched my torso, grimacing at how tender it felt from Hidan's bony-fingered assault. I'd have to find some way to get him back- a prank or something would help make me feel better.

I had kind of brought it on myself, though... Teasing him like he wasn't already a ticking-time-bomb of anger.

I exited my room and found my way to the kitchen, where Zena had cooked up a delicious smelling breakfast. I kissed her on the cheek as I entered, thanking her for the meal. She smiled and nodded, taking a sip from her steaming mug of tea.

After filling my plate, I joined Kira and Suki at the table, where they were quietly chatting.

"Good morning," I said, digging into my scrambled eggs and rice.

"Someone is in a good mood this morning," Suki observed.

Her sister snorted, "I'm assuming you've made up with Hidan?"

I swallowed down my bite, "We had a pleasant night... And I finally talked to him about something that's been bothering me."

Kira rolled her eyes as her twin cheered. Zena added in an encouraging clap. "Well, are you gonna tell us now or what?" Suki finally asked.

I sighed, knowing I'd have to tell them anyways, "Ehh, so I'm not understanding it myself, but in the eyes of Jashin, we're technically... married."

Suki gasped, "Oh my god, Sakana."

Kira barked out a laugh, and Suki turned around to give her sister a questioning look. "What? That's priceless."

"It's not nice to laugh at her," Zena chided her.

I waved a hand, "It's okay, I'm kind of okay with it."

"This is bizarre," Suki admitted, pressing her hand to her forehead. "We're living inside of an anime, you're married to Hidan..."

"I didn't want to say anything in case I was the only one freaking out," Zena added. "It's surreal."

Kira shrugged, "That may be so, but it's our reality." The 'for now' was silent, but I knew that we had all added it in our minds.

I had managed to speak to Hidan briefly before he and Kakuzu departed for a mission, but they wouldn't tell me what their destination was, or when they'd be back.

I had to admit, I was a bit lonely without the grumpy old miser or my beloved foul-mouthed zealot, but the days inched by and I spent the countless hours training with various members while they were at the base in-between missions.

In addition to the basic chakra control training, I was learning medical ninjutsu from Sasori as well as taijutsu from Kisame. Sometimes Itachi would sit in on those lessons and provide commentary as needed.

Things were almost carefree, but for almost two weeks, I felt a nagging pull in my stomach, and it burned me more as the time drifted by.

"Faster," Itachi demanded as he watched Kisame pummel me one afternoon. "Sakana, move faster."

I pushed myself, but I wasn't a match for the countless years of experience Kisame had on me. He grabbed a fistful of my hair before I could dodge, and wrenched me toward him.

I yelped as he pulled me back, and he froze, his large fist still wrapped in my too-long hair.

"Kisame," Itachi said, looking at the tall shark man.

"I'm sorry, Sakana," Kisame mumbled, trying to pull his hand free from my length.

"It's okay," I mumbled, "It's too long anyway."

I grabbed a kunai from my hip pouch and sliced through the hair still connecting Kisame's hand to my head.

"Uh-" Kisame stammered, left holding a fist full of my hair. He quickly dropped it and I watched my faded red locks drift to the ground.

"I think that's enough for today," Itachi murmured, quickly moving to clean up the mess.

I shrugged and reached up to feel my hair. I had cropped a large patch of it rather short, I realized, and now I looked odd to Itachi and Kisame.

Not to mention, I had kind of pulled a Sakura, though I hadn't been as dramatic as she had been. It was true that I needed a haircut; the constant re-dying of my hair, plus the horrible makeshift hair dye had left my hair in a horrible condition. It made sense to remove the irreparable length and leave a few inches of fresh growth.

I walked myself out of the expansive training area, ignoring the awkward silence I had left behind.

In the bathroom, I finally got a glimpse of the damage. The hair was thankfully cut off a few inches above the dye line, however, it was only cut in the one spot.

I retrieved the shears from the drawer and cut the rest of it to match the length. Content with the work, I cleaned up my mess and left the bathroom to find the other girls.

To say they were surprised at the new cut would be an understatement.

Kira burst into a fit of giggles as Suki and Zena were taking a closer look.

"I never noticed that it's white," Suki remarked.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes and brushing away the hands attacking my head. "That's 'cause I try to keep it covered up."

Zena smiled softly. "It's a pretty color. It suits you."

I thanked her with an abashed grin. "Do you think you can help me fix it?"

She shook her head. "I have to admit that cutting hair is something I'm not good at."

"I can help," Kira said, standing up from the couch, already stalking in the direction of my bathroom.

I shrugged and followed her. She sat me on the toilet and set to work snipping off the dyed ends of my hair, but left a few long fringes at the sides of my head, giving me a dramatic looking bob.

"Whoa," I grinned at my reflection, it was cute. "Where'd you learn to cut hair so well?"

"Self-practice," she simply said, before handing me the shears and exiting the bathroom.

"Thank you, bitch!" I called after her. And even though she'd deny it, I swear I could have heard an amused grunt from her as she left.

The rest of the day was boring, to say the least. I hadn't seen any of the actual Akatsuki members all day, then Suki drug Kira off for some weird twin shit, leaving Zena and me with the house to ourselves.

The brunette didn't make a terrible company, but at some point, silently reading grew boring, and I found myself searching for anything to do. I wound up in my room, laid across my bed, staring at the ceiling.

The rhythmic tugging at my gut alerted me to Jashin's desire to speak with me, so I lit my candles and made a circle and sat down on the cold floorboards.

Upon opening my eyes, I recognized his garden, the same brilliant green meadow, the same charred stump where he sat, perched, and sipping a cup of tea.

The black-haired God was beautiful, with sharp features and glowing red eyes. He smiled at me as I crossed the clearing and joined him.

"Tea?" He asked as he offered me a steaming teacup.

"What is it?" I asked, but accepted the cup anyways.

"Whatever you want it to be," Jashin-sama explained as I brought the hot liquid to my lips.

He was right, the liquid tasted exactly as I desired, but it was more than that. Every drink I imagined I was drinking, the potion took on those qualities. I could only assume that since he was drinking it, this had to be the nectar of the Gods.

I set my cup down and stared him in the eyes. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I finally asked.

"Well, my dear," he began, placing his mug next to mine. "I granted you my grace without proper requisite, but now my child, you must start paying your dues."

I swallowed dryly, "So you're asking for..."

"Souls," a wicked grin appeared on his face for a second but was replaced with ethereal calmness.

"I see," I took another drink of the godly beverage. It was steaming in the mug, but cool as I swallowed it. "And do you have any particular type of person you'd like me to sacrifice to you, Lord Jashin?"

He smiled mirthfully. "Who you choose is up to you, dear. All I ask is repayment for the power lent to you."

Well, shit.


	15. Kogitsune-maru

**Sakana**

Long after my prayer session had ended, I still floated on the effects of Jashin's nectar. Eventually drifting off with a warmth I'd never felt before gently easing through my system, I dreamt of a time long lost, of a boy with dark red hair, of a caring family, and then nothing. Those three images played through my head repeatedly, a seemingly never-ending three-minute ballad of a happy family.

As they played through my mind, I memorized every detail- the way the long-haired boy softly spoke my name, with wonder and marvel in his voice. Without a doubt, I knew that he was my brother. And I knew that the woman calling out to him to be gentle was my mother- I'd recognize the soft but stern tone of her voice anywhere.

I supposed that this was a dream of my birth family- my mother, father, and brother that I had never gotten to love. I had always known I was adopted, as my aunt never failed to remind me of my place, though I had never known who or where I came from.

"Nagato-Kun, be careful with Saki-chan," our mother called out again.

"Yes, mama." My brother smiled softly down at me again.

My eyes drifted closed again, but as I opened them once more, the vision had changed.

Now a man stood above me, eyes glowing white. "My apologies, little one, but it's really for the best."

Something stabbed into my stomach and I let out a high pitched squeal as I faded away.

* * *

I awoke in a panic, recognizing the warmth wrapped around me as pale, lean arms. Hidan was snoozing softly next to me and tightened his grip at my sudden movement.

Glancing around the room, I spotted his cloak draped on the back of my desk chair and his scythe discarded on the floor. I felt a grin tug at my lips, but I didn't wake him as I crawled over his sleeping form.

I narrowly avoided slicing my foot open on his scythe and quickly exited the room before making my way to the kitchen for breakfast.

There, I was met with a desperate-looking Deidara.

"Where's Zena-chan?" He whimpered pitifully as his stomach growled.

"Dunno," I replied, opening the fridge. Inside were several bento boxes of different sizes. There were notes on each of them and I quickly located the ones labeled for Deidara and me.

" _Sorry I couldn't be there this morning, Pein-sama sent me on a mission. I'll return soon. Until then, please eat these meals I prepared for you_." I read the note as I opened the box. It was a perfectly portioned meal for me. The flip side of the note had specific notes on what was in the meal.

My bento had poached eggs, white rice, bacon, and cherry tomatoes.

Deidara was a bit different. He had white rice and bacon, but instead of his eggs being poached, they were scrambled with chives. Zena had given him spicy cabbage as well, knowing how much he loved it when she had made kimchi.

"She probably stayed up all night to make these for everyone," I remarked, looking in the fridge at the stacked containers.

"Do we deserve her?" The blonde mused, breaking apart his chopsticks.

"No, not really," I replied with a half-smirk.

He shrugged and dug in. I retrieved the bottle of soy sauce from the fridge and sat next to him.

We ate in silence, and despite me having a smaller portion than he did, he finished before me.

Deidara placed his bento box in the sink and left the kitchen. I finished my soon after, but before I could leave the kitchen, I was joined again, this time by Pein.

It wasn't normal to see him out of his office, as Konan was typically the one retrieving various items for him.

"Good morning, Sakana-san."

I smiled and turned around from the sink I was facing. "Good morning Pein-sama. What draws you out of your lair?"

He inclined his head and opened the fridge, retrieving a medium-sized Bento with his name on it. "Konan-san's absence has me rather displaced."

"Ah," I merely said, following him out of the kitchen and back toward his office. "Would you mind if I joined you for your breakfast? I have something important I think you should know."

He stared at me for a moment, ringed rinnegan eyes sizing me up carefully.

"...Nagato-san, please."

His eyes narrowed even more, and he nodded once. "Alright. I'll hear you out."

* * *

In Pein's office, I sat awkwardly for a moment as he stared at me.

"I thought you were going to eat," I finally broke the silence.

"That can wait. Speak." He commanded, and I meekly nodded and told him of the dreams.

I told him every detail I could remember, the color of the walls, the tone of her voice, the joyful admiration in his eyes. Then the man, his wretched smile and his vengeful words, then the pain. And then nothing. "Nagato-san, I don't know what this means but a vision from God is nothing to scoff at."

He was silent. Thinking. Assessing. "What name did you say?"

I gulped, my mouth suddenly dry. "S-Saki."

He bit his lip. "It's true that my younger sister was kidnapped and murdered when I was young," he admitted. "And truer still that her disappearance caused a tremendous amount of grief in my parents, forcing them into the poor suburbs of Amegakure, which eventually led to their demise at the hands of Hanzo. However, Saki-chan had the same color hair as Mother and I."

I grimaced, having no explanation for my naturally white hair. But I wanted to prove myself to him. "Her eyes..." I began, remembering those unforgettable orbs. "She had the rinnegan before you."

He swallowed suddenly sitting up straight. "How could you- that is not information that anyone knows." He balked.

"I- I can't forget her voice. I can't forget her eyes." I stared at him, silently begging him to not brush me off, or punish me for lying and emotionally torturing him.

He sat back, placing his hands under his chin. "So it's true then." Unexpectedly, he smiled. I was taken aback for a moment but returned the smile.

"Possibly." I reminded myself, trying to keep myself from believing that it wasn't just Jashin being cruel and causing mayhem.

Pein cleared his throat and broke apart his chopsticks. He took a bite of the plain white rice in his bento and chewed it silently for a long moment before finally speaking.

"Sakana, though I believe you may be my long lost sister, there is a sure way to prove to be your true identity."

I nodded as I listened, ready to find out who I was was.

* * *

Several hours later, Hidan, Kakuzu, and I were trudging through the thickest part of the land of Rain. Hidan was grumbling about how stupid of a mission we were on, and Kakuzu had commented several times on how he expected to be paid handsomely for this menial task.

I scoffed and batted their grumpiness away, keeping a shred of positivity in my mind as I shivered against the biting rain. "You could at least ease up a little," I grumbled under my breath.

Seconds later, lightning snaked across the sky and the dense rain worsened for a moment. That jerk was _laughing_ at me. I scoffed again and flipped off the sky, trudging on as his thunderclaps mocked me like laughter.

When we eventually reached the ferry point, we were soaked. The trip offered no refuge from the rain beating on us, so I huddled close to Hidan, shivering and burning the last few calories from Zena's provided meal. The ride was silent and sullen, as we were all soaked and freezing.

The minutes ticked by slowly, the ferry seeming to last an eternity. By the fifth time I had sighed, Kakuzu tossed me a dirty glare.

"If you do that one more time, I will cut your voice box out and keep it."

His motley eyes were boring into mine, and I felt myself shrink against Hidan, who cackled at my misfortune. An elbow to his ribs stopped his laughter, but he retaliated with a jab to my ribs. I jumped away from him and sat next to Kakuzu. He rolled his eyes at me, but let me sink into his side.

He was warmer than Hidan, anyways.

* * *

We didn't escape the rain until we reached a tavern in the village. I relished the warm room and drifted toward the fire as Kakuzu and Hidan spoke to the owner.

They didn't lower their voices, and I knew that this man worked under the Akatsuki, and had a deep respect for the Leader.

For my brother. Possibly. Definitely.

To be honest, I hadn't even told either of my partners about the true reason for the mission- just that we had to retrieve something important for Pein-sama. It wasn't a lie, but I had left a few details out.

 _'Like what we're supposed to be getting, where we're supposed to be getting it, and how, and why, and everything,'_ The voice in the back of my head nagged me. I tuned it out and turned to Hidan and Kakuzu, who was watching me stare off into space.

"All good, space cadet?" Hidan asked, raising a silver brow.

I nodded, "yep, all good. Can we go to change now?" I asked, aching to get out of the drenched cloak.

Kakuzu agreed and set off in search of his room, leaving Hidan to lead me to our shared room.

Inside, I immediately began stripping the soaked clothes from my body, ignoring the low whistle that Hidan let out.

I turned and opened the closet, finding a set of basic black ninja gear and a thick cloak hanging.

"Wait a minute," Hidan said, and I froze. "That wasn't there before." He mumbled as he approached me.

"What?" I asked, trying to glimpse what he was referencing.

"Here," he said, pointing me to the mirror. "This seal."

I furrowed my brow. It was in the center of my back, a spiral seal tattooed against my skin.

"Should I worry?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Might have to ask the geezer," he said, "I'll get him. You should probably cover yourself."

I nodded and slipped into the clothes while he was gone. It was a black tube top and a pair of matching basic training pants, with an added flak jacket that I hadn't slipped on yet.

My zealot returned a moment after I finished buttoning the pants, towing Kakuzu, who was already in a clean set of clothes and a dry cloak.

"See?" Hidan said, showing Kakuzu the seal. "It appeared last night."

Last night? "I—Well, I had an odd dream last night," I said, not wanting to tell them all of the details until the theory was confirmed or proved wrong. "And this man with white eyes stabbed something into my stomach. It... was awful. It felt like he had pierced me all the way through."

"Hmm." Kakuzu mumbled, "This seal looks like advanced sealing. The only people who are that adept would be Uzumaki," he explained. "They were seal-masters. Well, before their demise and subsequent scattering."

I groaned, "That doesn't mean anything, though. The Uzumaki are dead." _Well, mostly._ I didn't want to believe that someone from my own supposed family could do something like that, much less to a newborn infant.

"Ehh, just because Whirlpool is gone doesn't mean that there are no Uzumaki left. Just like there could be secret Hyyugas, secret Uchiha, secret families exist." The miser huffed, crossing his arms. "Nevertheless, I'm _certain_ that this seal was placed by somebody extremely skilled with creating and maintaining seals. Therefore, an Uzumaki."

I rolled my eyes but accepted his explanation.

"And judging by the lack of side effects from having a seal recently placed, plus the dormant chakra still lingering in this seal," he continued, drawing my attention to his face again. He wasn't wearing a mask, probably having been interrupted before he could get to that stage of dressing. I found myself watching his stitching as he spoke, trying to piece these new pieces of information together into something that made sense. "Sakana," he spoke my name seriously, eyes steeling against my open gaze. "This seal was placed nearly twenty-three years ago."

"But- but she's from that other place with no chakra." Hidan cut in. "If this was placed that long ago—"

"I'll be twenty-three soon," I said, closing my eyes. "I left something out, and I'm going to apologize for that before I tell you—"

"What?" Hidan growled. "What is it?"

I raised an eyebrow at his sudden protectiveness. "The dream, well, I have reason to believe that I hail from this world originally," I said, vomiting the words out.

"...Wow." Kakuzu said, processing the new information.

"And you somehow ended up in that other world—" Hidan said, stringing together the big picture.

"Look, I can't explain how I was a newborn. I just had this dream where my family was smiling at me and cooing at me—My mother warning my brother to be careful with me, and then finally, this man standing above me, he tells me that it's for the best, and then he—He stabs me with something." I had stood up in the process of talking, and pointing at a spot above my bellybutton- a stark white birthmark that I had never really thought much of.

It made sense, _to me at least_. Kakuzu commanded me to turn around, and I obeyed, sighing in defeat.

"It's as if it's clean through," he remarked, measuring the distance from the mark to my side, and then from the birthmark to my side. "Perfectly placed in between your organs. Whoever did this wasn't trying to kill you," Kakuzu continued as Hidan and I listened silently. "It seems as if they were trying to cause minimal damage."

I swallowed, taking in the new information. "Who would want to—" I began, but cut myself off. If I truly was this lost girl, someone had taken me away from my family. In doing so, they claimed to be doing something _good._ They were preventing something from happening. Something potentially catastrophic.

"Alright," I sighed. "We'll get to the bottom of this," I said, slipping my cloak on over the gear. "Let's just... Go to the place Leader-sama told us about."

"I agree," Kakuzu said quietly, finally putting his mask on.

"Where is that anyway?" Hidan asked, staring at me. I grinned sheepishly."You don't know, do you?"

I scratched the back of my head. "Well, he didn't give me directions. He told me to go to the place my soul pulled me to."

Kakuzu sighed and placed his head in his hands. "So cryptic."

Hidan let out a string of low curses, already pulling out a map of Amegakure. "I guess we can just fuckin' start walking."

"I better be paid well for my trouble." Kakuzu reminded me.

* * *

True to our word, we wandered the rainy city for hours, feeling nothing but dark dreary emptiness from each sector we scoured, until we began to fill with that same emptiness.

"I'm wet and hungry, and I demand a blow job for my trouble," Hidan growled, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. I jerked my arm free and flipped him off, not happy with my level of sogginess.

"As if," I scoffed, glaring at him.

"Sakana, I hate to agree with the pest, but we've been at it for hours. At this rate, we'll die of hypothermia."

"Stop being a baby," I spat, throwing my hands up and turning down the nearest alley I could find.

I passed through the alley with no problem, ignoring the stray beggars and focusing on which way 'tugged' at me.

Not feeling anything in particular, I drifted down the streets and alleys until the sky started to dim.

I glanced around my surroundings and found myself in the ghetto part of town, empty husks of buildings foreclosed and standing in rows around me. I had no idea which way the tavern was either, and I was hopelessly underprepared for what might happen on this side of the town.

Of course, I'd survive it, but I had no way to defend myself, and that in itself was fucking sketchy.

"Hey, girl," A man called out to me from a nearby corner. "Are you lost or somethin'?"

I quickly gathered myself, "No, I'm alright."

"You're lookin' a little confused there," he observed.

"I'm fine," I repeated. "I'm on my way to meet my colleagues."

"Mhm. You know these parts are a little dangerous."

I nodded, "Yes, thank you. I'll be careful."

His dark eyes glinted and I felt dark intent from him. "The main road is back that way," he said, pointing down the road.

"Ah, that's not where we agreed to meet," I explained, waving and thanking him as I quickly strode back the way I came from.

I heard footsteps falling behind me, and I tried to stay aware of my surroundings, despite feeling hopelessly lost.

Something clattered behind me and I jumped, peeking over my shoulder. There was nothing there, but that didn't put me at ease. I turned back around and kept trudging on.

Unfortunately, I didn't notice the man from before standing directly in front of me, until I ran into him and he roughly grabbed my wrists.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, struggling against his tight grip.

"I told you to be careful, girly," he cooed, his rotten breath invading my nostrils. "Ya weren't very careful now, were ya?"

I snarled, baring my teeth at him. "Let me go and you'll live," I warned him.

"Ah, don't think I'll be doin' that." The man grinned, showing me his broken teeth.

"If you say so," I bit out as he shifted his grip to hold both of my wrists in one hand, and reached for a kunai with the other.

I hissed as the blade dug into my forearm, kicking at his stomach and knocking the kunai out of his hand.

"In the name of my lord, Jashin-sama, you will be punished for your hedonism," I swore, picking up the blade and wiping it on my cloak. Swinging the kunai at him, I slashed his wrists in return for his rough treatment.

Satisfied with my collection of his blood, I brought the sweet liquid to my lips and lapped at it, my skin already darkening. I chuckled and placed my hands on my hips mockingly.

"What? You didn't think I was some poor helpless girl, did you? That's pretty funny..." I smirked at him, his blood still painted on my lips.

He whimpered, immobile with fear.

"Alright, since you made me laugh I'll cut you a deal," I slyly offered, "Slow and painful? Or quick-" I stabbed myself in the gut, and he exclaimed and coughed, "and as painless as possible?"

He coughed, blood bubbling out of his mouth.

"Yeah, you're right, this _is_ boring," I coughed, planting the kunai into my own heart.

Darkness overcame me instantly, but it was short-lived. I woke a few moments later, feeling invigorated.

 _Atta girl_ , Jashin's voice sounded in my head. I smiled and wiped the blood from my lips. Sacrifice feltgood.

Who knew?

As I stood and dusted myself off, I felt a pull at my gut. This _had_ to be what Pein had spoken of.

I followed the feeling to a small house, abandoned and boarded up.

I kicked the boarded window in and climbed through, landing in a pile of broken glass and dust.

Coughing, I used the window to help myself back up and peered around the dark house.

I felt at peace, _safe._ But there was still a string leading me deeper into the house.

I traced the walls, recognizing the signs of a loving family home; notches in the wall, brightly colored walls that were now faded and peeling.

Eventually reaching a cabinet in the kitchen just tall enough for me to slip through, I drifted my hands along with the frame and felt a panel shift.

Inside was a small paper, a single word inscription.

_Pull._

I entered the cabinet and felt along the seams for a grip. As if pulled by a magnet, the back panel popped off, and I found myself staring at the Uzumaki seal.

I placed my hand in the center, and it glowed brilliantly before fading away, revealing a small hatch.

Opening it, I pulled a box out and opened it.

A katana, with a name carved into it- _Kogitsune-maru_.

* * *

 _Kitsune-maru- (Little Fox), Inari Ōkami, and its fox spirits help the blacksmith Munechika forge the blade Kogitsune-maru at the end of the 10th century. Munechika's name is etched into one side, while Kogitsune-maru is carved on the other. It is told that Munechika was commissioned for the sword by the emperor, but had no assistant to help forge the blade. He visited the shrine_ _Fushimi-Inari and prayed for divine assistance. He met a white-haired boy shortly after who instructed him to prepare his forge in the old ways and then Munechika would receive assistance. Munechika did so the next day, and as he prayed again, the boy appeared. Munechika realized at this point that the boy was truly the god Inari-Myōjin, the god of fertility, agriculture, and rice. Inari-Myojin knew exactly when and how to strike the sword without Munechika's instruction, and so when the blade was finished, Munechika carved his name into one side of the blade, and Kogitsune-maru into the other side. As he finished the last stroke of the blade, Inari-Myojin disappeared._


	16. Uncovering What Lies Within, Part 1

Sakana

I eventually reached the tavern, toting my awesome new sword.

Letting myself into the room I shared with Hidan, I smiled at him until Kakuzu came into view with a frown.

"Where have you been?" He asked gruffly, eyeing me.

I wiped at my mouth, where I was sure there was still blood, and bit my lip. "I found it," I said, offering no other explanation.

"You did?"

"You have that post-sacrifice glow," Hidan remarked. "Was it a good one?"

I grinned, "It was lovely," I replied, "and afterward, I knew exactly where I needed to go."

Hidan nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, His grace does that to you."

"Enough of that." Kakuzu bit, "What about the sword?"

I placed the case on the bed and opened it, showing them the mythological object.

"The Kogitsune-maru," Kakuzu said. "That's what Pein-sama sent us for?"

I nodded, finally ready to tell them all.

"Pein-sama is... Well, I think he's my brother." I explained, "And to prove this, he sent me to retrieve something that only someone of Uzumaki blood can find."

"The sword," Hidan concluded, peering at the blade as I lifted it from its case.

The trip back to the base didn't feel as long as the trip there did, and Kakuzu helped bide the time by informing us of the rich history of the valuable object.

Kakuzu seemed to know a great deal about the subject, and at my questioning, he explained that the sword was priceless, and is a point of interest in men like him.

"It still doesn't prove that you're who you think you are," Hidan said, ever the pessimist.

"Only an Uzumaki can wield it, due to the involvement of Inari-Myōjin. After the sword being lost for centuries, God reclaimed it and bestowed it to the first Jinchuriki of the Kyubi. The nine-tailed fox. Mito Uzumaki's descendants are the only ninja able to wield that blade."

Ah, Inari-Myōjin's messenger was a white fox, so it made sense that God would choose a fox spirit to use his sword.

"However, Hidan does have a point," Kakuzu confirmed. "We'll need a demonstration to prove that this is the real thing."

I nodded, promising to unsheathe the sword once we reached land and we would determine if the sword was genuine or just a convincing replica.

I nearly nodded off on the ferry ride, despite the cold rain. I was still feeling the euphoria of Jashin's grace.

Hidan kept poking me in the side to keep me awake, and we eventually reached the shore. The ferry departed again, leaving us standing in the rain on the mushy bank.

Not wanting to sully the intricately designed box, I kept it tucked into its case until we found a cave to take shelter from the rain in.

Kakuzu lit a fire and I placed the ornate wooden box on the ground and opened it again, this time picking it up and testing its weight in my hand.

Hidan took it from my hand and looked at me as if I were dumb, "I can hold it, it's not real."

I scoffed and snatched it back, while Kakuzu grumbled something about a waste of time.

It didn't make sense. This is what I was supposed to get, I just knew it. I voiced my thoughts, and Hidan shrugged, sitting down with his back to the cave wall.

"Could I inspect the case?" Kakuzu asked, already picking up the wooden object and turning it over in his hands.

As it shifted it around, the lining of the case fell off, showing the false bottom of the sword's container, sealed by a tricky looking seal.

"As I suspected," the miser mused, showing me the seal. "It's an Uzumaki seal. If I were to guess, I'd say that breaking this seal will show us the truth."

I nodded, taking the box back from him, placing the sword back into the case. "Let's take it to Leader-sama first."

Back at the base, several hours later, Pein and I sat in his office, staring at the seal.

"As I'm sure you already know, to prove that you are who you claim to be, you must unseal this. Only an Uzumaki can complete such a task."

I nodded, confirming that I already knew as much, "However I'm not sure how to unseal anything... Isn't there a crash course you can give me?"

He shook his head fractionally. "Unfortunately, this is something you must do on your own."

I groaned, but closed my eyes and tried to summon forth all of the knowledge I had about seals.

"This is the clan legacy," I breathed out, still thinking. "A basic enclosing seal, if I'm correct." I glanced at the Deva path, my potential brother's fallen comrade's corpse. He nodded almost unnoticeable.

I had decided to only tell him about the seal if I truly was his lost sibling, but if it were the odd chance that my gut was wrong, I didn't want to bother him more.

"Alright then," I murmured, attempting to do a basic unsealing of the inked symbol.

Nothing happened.

Deva path shook his head.

"What could I do to prove that I have Uzumaki... Blood." I lit up as I made the connection and quickly cut open my thumb and placed the bleeding wound into the middle of the seal firmly.

It hissed, steamrolling up around the leader of the Akatsuki and me.

In an instant, the scenery changed.

I stood in a meadow overlooking a vast ocean, which seemed to stretch across the horizon forever. Taking note of my new surroundings, I followed a worn footpath cleaving the breezy field in two.

It led to the beach, where large, smooth rocks speckled the shore. In the middle of the sand sat a flat, medium-sized stone covered in seals, bonding an object into the stone itself.

As I drew nearer, I could distinguish the protected item as a sword; the real Kogitsune-maru, I could safely assume.

"Oh, I've been waiting for you!" A woman's voice exclaimed. "I knew you'd return, and here you are my dear."

I turned around to face the voice and came face to face with Mito Uzumaki herself. I bowed quickly and she laughed.

"Dear one, don't treat me so formally. Relax, we've got much to discuss, and we'll need time to get through it all." She told me, sitting cross-legged in the sand between the stone and me.

I mirrored her, sitting in the sand and watching the woman carefully.

A few long minutes ticked by, and I finally cleared my throat. "Mito-san, when you said that I'd be back, is that true? You knew that I'd return to this world?"

She nodded sagely, "Yes, though you were born and taken a few years before my death, I knew that my great-grand-daughter would return and would accept her inheritance. This is why we are here, in this small seal of my chakra. Saki, my child, I anticipated your return and knew that this part of my life would be bequeathed to the other side of my clan."

"My... Inheritance?" I asked, "And—Mito-san, why me? Why not my.. my mom?" I asked, clenching my fists.

"Mm, Fuso had the choice, but she chose another path. Such as her sister agreed to take on the Kyuubi from me, Fuso refused my legacy and left to save lives and spread peace." Mito murmured, looking at her hands. "I cannot blame her for wanting it to end... But, as long as there are shinobi enforcing peace, there will likewise be shinobi opposing it." I watched her elderly form, quaintly sitting as she revealed the past to me.

Before she married Hashirama Senju, she had borne a son to her first husband, who had tragically died at the hands of her nation's enemies. That son was placed under the care of her sister when she left for Konohagakure, and eventually grew and bore his children; two beautiful Uzumaki girls. First Fuso, then Kushina years later. Because of her new status as the first lady of Konohagakure, the village elders demanded that she keep the truth of Kushina's true heritage a secret, and she did so but didn't keep herself from guiding the new host for the Kyuubi and forming as close of a bond as she could.

She explained that she offered the blade to her son, who refused and taught his other daughter of peace, leading her to Amegakure, where Fuso joined up with Ise, married, and started her family. Together, the provided aid to the people suffering from the village's civil war. Fuso too refused my great-grandmother's offering to take on the sword she used in her youth, her legacy.

"Saki-chan." When she spoke my name, I looked up and met her gaze, squarely staring at my ancestor.

"Will you accept the Kogitsune-maru blade forged by Munechika and bestowed to your great-grandmother before you?" I glanced over her shoulder at the sealed weapon, imagine how powerful it must be to have to restrain it several times. Mito was said to be a formidable Kunoichi, but with the fox spirit sword, who wouldn't be?

I swallowed, meeting her eye again. "Hai, Mito-san."

She smiled and stood, "That's settled, then. Step forward and unseal your destiny."

The unsealing was a bit trickier than the first time, and I had to make myself bleed again. It required several removals, as it had been bound by Mito herself to keep it secure.

Before I touched the item, I turned to the apparition of the woman and bowed slightly. "Thank you, Mito-sama."

She smiled, her face wrinkling. "Your return was greatly anticipated, Uzumaki princess." With that, she bowed and wandered down the beach, disappearing.

Refocusing on the Godly weapon, I placed my hand on the hilt and immediately felt the powerful chakra concealed within licking at my palm. I wrapped my fingers around the ornate handle and tugged.

No sooner than I pulled the sword from the seal was I back in Pein's office, the blade now shimmering and glowing in my hand.

I stared at it in amazement for a moment before Nagato broke the silence. "Welcome back, sister."

I beamed and bowed my head. "Thank you, Nagato-san. Now that we know the truth, there is something you'll need to see."

He watched as I unbuttoned the cloak and showed him the white scar on my abdomen, then the seal mark on my back.

"That's an interesting development." He remarked before asking me to go to the research laboratory.

Having confirmation that my prophetic dreams were true left me feeling nostalgic and sorrowful, but consented to the testing that my newfound brother had ordered.

In the laboratory, Sasori and Kakuzu stood over me, discussing the procedure as I laid on the examination table, my shirt discarded on the adjacent table in the room, leaving me awkwardly sat, my chest exposed to both men. To keep my mind off of my almost nudity, I fixed my attention on the room.

It was clean and cold, and though it had likely been years since Orochimaru had used the room for whatever grotesque experiments that the group had allowed him, I could still feel the abysmal touch of death.

"Alright, this will hurt, but I think you'll live," Sasori remarked dryly, picking up a scalpel. He pushed it deep into the scar and planted his palm on my chest to keep me still as he cut me open.

"Motherfucker!" I hissed as he abruptly pulled it out.

"Quit being a pussy," the puppet smirked down at me. I glanced at Kakuzu, who was holding a pair of really fuckin' long tweezers.

I yelped as he stuck them into the same spot without warning. "At least tell me what the fuck's going on," I grumbled.

"We're taking biopsies of the tissue between the marks. Obviously." Kakuzu replied, pulling out a small red bit of my flesh and placing it in a metal dish Sasori was now holding. He repeated this a few times, yanking out pieces of me until he was satisfied that they had enough samples.

The skin was already healing, but it still stung like a bitch.

"Alright, now we need to inspect the seal so we can find out why it's there," Sasori said, and I hastily turned over to show them my back.

"It's complex," Kakuzu whistled, "It'll take a while to figure it out."

"That's great," I sighed, sitting up. "More waiting."

"Tell me about it," the two Akatsuki members chorused.

Hidan wasn't the quickest to fully capture the implications of my tale, so I had to spell it out to him... More than once.

"So then... You have this awesome blade, don't you want to test it out?" He asked, his pastel eyes glinting in anticipation.

"You're more excited about it than I am," I remarked, but agreed to spar him using my new blade.

We met in the training room, prepared to fight a brutal battle. Hidan and I stared at each other for a few moments, weighing one another silently. He was shirtless and cloakless, lean muscles prepared to start at any moment. He was clad only in his black training cargo pants and black sandals, lacking his usual pouches of soldier pills and quick-healing salves he'd usually have for missions. Hidan gripped his scythe tightly, anticipating combat.

I was clothed Similarly, opting for a dark gray tube top and black training pants, but I had forgone the pouches, leaving them tossed on the floor. My only equipment was the sheathe strapped to my back holding the sword.

"You'll have to give me leniency, I've never learned to properly use a sword," I told Hidan, but he shrugged and stood in a defensive stance as I gripped the hilt of the blade.

"Just come at me, bitch." He smirked.

"Alright," I returned his cocky grin, lunging at him as I swung the sword effortlessly through the air. He poofed away, a training dummy taking his place.

"Not fair, you're playing with just I don't know yet!" I huffed, searching across the expansive space for my lover.

He responded with a snicker and I crossed the distance to where the sound came from and he dashed out, charging me with his scythe. I blocked his blow with the Kogistune-maru, sending him back a few feet.

"What the hell!" Hidan shouted, jumping up. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Defending myself!" I growled, bracing myself against his impending attack.

He 'hmph'-ed and ran at me again, swinging his blade at my head. "I'll decapitate you and skull-fuck you until you regain consciousness." He threatened.

I barked out a laugh. "I'd still be able to bite you," I warned, parrying his blow once more. This time, as he was pushed back, he braced his feet against the floor and swung at me again, knocking my sword from my hand, cutting my palm in the process.

As the blade clattered to the ground, I held my other hand out and as if it were pulled by a magnet, it flew back into my hand.

"Alright, nope! Fuck this!" Hidan exclaimed, tossing his scythe down.

I gave him a quizzical look and he widened his eyes at me.

"This shit is way to freaky, bitch. That's a cursed sword if I've ever seen one."

I rolled my eyes as he picked his scythe back up and retreated, heading for a quick shower.

I watched him leave before looking at the sword in wonder before sliding it back into its holster at my hip. As I knelt to pick up my discarded pouches, I was joined by Itachi.

"Pardon me for intruding, Sakana-san, but I watched your spar with Hidan." He said, his eyes glowing in his Sharingan.

I shook my head, "Oh, it's alright, Itachi. I know I'm not that good, I barely know how to use the thing, much less understand every ability it has."

He made a quiet noise, before speaking again, "I'm not sure what you mean by abilities."

"Well, it's the Kogitsune-maru," I explained, "Surely it's got some hidden powers."

"May I see the blade, then?" He held out his hand.

I unsheathed the sword once again and held it out for him.

"Hmm..." He leaned down and took a closer look at it before looking back at me. "You're right, it's the Kogitsune-maru blade, however, this blade has no sign of hidden power. It seems that it's rather a husk."

"Huh?" I asked, looking at the sword.

"It fills with the wielder's chakra and utilizes Jutsu that the user can use." He explained.

"Ah, but that's not true," I countered, "Hidan was being forced away by the sword as he struck it."

Itachi gave me a dry look. "Precisely. It would seem that those were caused by some jutsu that you're capable of mastering, but perhaps haven't yet."

With that, he left me more confused than ever.

Perhaps time will reveal all. Jashin whispered to me, so I shrugged and picked my belongings up before leaving the cold room.


	17. Uncovering What Lies Within, Part 2

**0Suki**

"Let's go do something," I urged Kisame, bored of reading the same bounty book over and over again.

He sighed and set his issue of Grass-Nin Weekly down, giving me a look.

"There's nothing to do," I said at the same time he did.

My shark-man gave me the look again, and I felt myself melting into the bed. 0000000[l

"It's been days and Zena still isn't back. Kira is off doing... Kira things.. And I'm bored," I pouted, begging him with my soul to entertain me.

Kisame breathed out deeply, relenting. "Alright, princess. What do you want to do?"

I giggled, pleased that the missing shark-nin had such a soft spot for me. He returned the soft smile, helping me sit up.

"Well," I began, drawing the word out. "I don't know." He sighed, but I continued before he could speak. "What is there to do here? I need to get out of the house... Do something just to do it."-

Kisame was quiet a moment, thinking. "I did see something about a circus coming through a village not too far.."

I looked at him pleadingly, crawling closer to his face. "Can we go? Pleeeease?"

He scratched his head, chuckling, and pushing me away. "I'll talk to Leader-sama..."

A short while later, he returned with the good news: Leader had granted us the evening, provided we covered the expenses with our own money, as well as covering our lost wages.

I was more than happy to accept, relieved to be able to do something fun.

I tracked Zena down and extended the offer to her and her two dopey sidekicks.

Deidara had practically forced them to accept, citing his previous missing out on explosive shenanigans.

Sasori agreed, demanding that the blonde cover their lost wages all by himself since it was his idiocy had left him with no choice but to join his partner. Sakana, Hidan, and Kakuzu had opted out, choosing to save and earn money, instead of wasting it on 'trivial bullshit', as Kakuzu had said.

Nevertheless, I was determined to have fun, even if some of my most cared about people were being left out.

In a short while, we were ready, with the guys having changed into comfortable, but still protective gear. Each of them had concealed their identities, taking on different looks.

Kisame had gone with pale skin, and while he kept his dark blue locks, his eyes weren't pale blue anymore, nor were they shaped like a shark's. His gills were gone, as well as his pointed teeth.

Sasori was lacking his puppet-y look, his hair now brown and his eyes red. Hmph, _real big change there, buddy._

Deidara's look was by far the most jarring. His long hair was now loose and gingery orange, and his eyes were emerald green.

Each had flak jackets and their weapons, but none had bothered wearing their cloak. _I guess you never know when danger will strike when you're trying to enjoy the night._

The circus would be at the village that Deidara had been to before with the Uchihas and the Immortal, so the blonde led us there with minimal effort.

We arrived, the town was teeming with families out enjoying the carnival and related events taking place.

Sasori, Deidara, and Kira departed, going to explore on their own.

I was a little sad that Kira wasn't right there with me to enjoy the fun, but I had Kisame to fill the void she left behind.

"Can we try the strength game?" I asked, spotting a man with a large mallet.

"Alright," Kisame agreed, letting me drag him over to the man. He accepted the comically sized tool as I paid a few yen to the pain, and reared back.

The sound that the machine-made when the mallet connected with it was nearly deafening.

"Ah, I should have mentioned that the use of chakra is prohibited, sir..." The man tittered nervously.

"Sorry," Kisame grinned abashedly, "I didn't use chakra at all..."

Nevertheless, he paid the carnie to replace the damaged equipment and tugged me along.

"Show-off," I teased him.

He scoffed, "Yeah right, I used barely a fraction of my strength, and that's without chakra."

I rolled my eyes, but he caught it.

"It's true, Princess." He grinned, and I was put off by how attracted to how normal Kisame looked. "I'm strong enough to keep you from harm."

I giggled, charmed by his handsome features. "Kisame-Kun quit flirting. Let's go do some fun stuff!"

"Oh, but dear Suki," Kisame chuckled, lifting me with ease, "One as lowly as I could never expect to speak so comfortably to such a precious gem."

I squeaked as he lifted me to his shoulders. I climbed on and rested my chin on his head. "Seriously, Kisa," I whined, "You're being so odd."

He scoffed, "I'm only trying to entertain you, as you wish. Is it working?"

I nodded, knowing he couldn't see me. "I think it's time for the circus to start," I noted, pointing at the crowd streaming into the tent.

We joined it, Kisame easily muscling through the smaller people, while I was still perched on his shoulders. When we reached the entrance, he paid a few coins to one of the attendants, then gently helped me down.

As we strode in, we couldn't find a single seat open, so we opted for standing near the entrance, off to the side of the main walkway.

"Hurry up, brat, you're going to make Kira-chan miss the show." Sasori's voice grumbled, and the trio came into view, my sister toting a large stuffed animal and an indignant blush. Deidara had a large cotton candy, which he seemed to be enjoying.

"Hey guys," Kira greeted us, coming to stand by Kisame and me.

It was still pre-show, and the crowd murmured in anticipation of circus wonders.

"This sucks, there's nowhere to sit," I sighed, scanning the rows of stands once more.

Nobody said anything, but at that moment, the band sprang to life, playing lively tunes as the ringleader came out from the entranceway we were standing in.

He gave us an odd look but didn't say anything as he strode past us and welcomed the crowd.

"Thank you for coming to the Sakura Blossom Circus!" His voice boomed, and he waved his hands animatedly as he took his place on the open floor of the circus tent.

He brought out a few animals that the small children were thrilled by, seals balancing balls and bears showing off acts of 'genius', and then sent them back.

Next, acrobats and sword swallowers, and then, he began hyping the crowd up for the main event.

"And now... The Sakura Blossom Circus' disappearing man!" Spotlights shone towards us, drumrolls rattled, and a lanky man stepped forward, light blonde hair sweeping down his shoulders.

His baby blue eyes fell to me, then flicked to my left and he gulped.

"It- It can't be. Suki... and Kira as well... Oh, of course not..." He called to the ringleader, waving his hands at the carnie, and my sister and I watched with confusion as the blonde man disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The ringleader, who I assumed now was Jericho, as the blonde man had called him apologized to the crowd, explaining that something had come up.

I was determined to stick around and figure out why that man knew us, and I could tell that Kira had that same resolve from one look.

Kisame and Sasori didn't bother arguing as we drug them over to speak to Jericho.

"I'm sorry about this problem, if you speak to the attendants, they will be issuing a partial refund-" He apologized, smiling softly and clapping his hands together.

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "I don't want a refund. I need to know who that man was."

He gave a confused look, his pale yellow eyes crinkling at the corners. "Pardon me?"

"He was probably 5'10", light blonde hair, baby blue eyes... Looked a lot like my sister here, actually," Kira explained, motioning toward me. "He said something odd and disappeared."

Jericho gulped, "Ah, that was Takei-san, he's a wandering ninja. Comes from some destroyed village, his ninjutsu is something else—although we don't want to ruin the 'magic' for these civilian children, you know."

"Tell us where he is," Sasori demanded, brown eyes narrowing as he stepped forward.

"Ah- of course, my apologies." The carnie hastily apologized, then just as quickly gave us an indication of where this mysterious smoke user would be at.

I knocked on the caravan door, waiting a moment before a soft "enter" was heard. Kira and I filed into the small room, standing awkwardly in the space before the man.

"The two girls from before..." He said, blinking at as slowly. "Please, sit." He motioned to a small sofa, tucked between the wall and a bookcase filled with novels.

I sat nearest him, and my sister perched herself by the bookcase.

"Sorry to disturb you, Takei-san, but, well..." I began, looking around the small room. It was small and clean, but you could tell that the owner lived a meager life.

"Ah, I should apologize," he began, stirring a cup of tea in his hands. "I'm sorry, I seemed to have called you by my daughter's names." He bowed his head.

"That's why we're here... You... called us by our names." I said, "We were just confused—We're sorry for hindering you, then if that's the case."

He smiled, his eyes are crinkling. "That's quite a coincidence. You're Suki, then," he nodded at me, then looked at Kira, who pointedly looked at the wall. "And you're Kira. It is uncanny..."

I inclined my head. "Do we act like them, then?"

He shook his head, "They... died when they were young."

I gasped, "Oh, I'm so sorry—"

He waved his hand, "It's alright, Suki-chan. If they were here, I imagine they'd be the same as you two... My daughters took after their parents." He chuckled, "Even as infants, my little blossoms were just like their mom and dad."

I smiled, watching his face as he recalled a time long gone.

"Little Su-chan was fussy and loud, but Ki-chan was calm and easy." He chuckled, "Just like... Nagaya."

"Your wife," Kira said, eyes still on the wall.

"Yeah... She was... Always so reserved, but when it was just us, it was like nothing mattered. Not her clan or who they wanted her to marry... Just this quiet, sweet girl, and a big, goofy oaf to keep her laughing." He scratched the back of his head and pulled a locket from beneath his yukata. He handed it to me, and I peered down at it.

It was a worn photograph of a happy family, holding each other close. It was him, I realized, his left arm holding his wife, and his right holding a tiny baby with red hair sprouting from her head. His wife was almost identical to Kira, with red locks tumbling down her back, and a sly smirk gracing her face. She was holding a smiling baby with curly blonde hair.

"I loved them dearly," he sighed, "But the clan had other plans."

Takei wasn't finished with his tale, and I handed Kira the locket as he continued. "We had managed to elope, and Nagaya's brother stepped up as heir to the clan head, despite not being firstborn. They let us be... Until she became pregnant, and bore twins..." He swallowed, then continued. "The clan had an urban legend, Kemuri twins would bring about the destruction of the clan. When they learned of ours... They wanted to get rid of my girls. They ordered Nagaya to dispose of them when they were a few months old... Two days after that photograph was taken. She refused, and they _made_ her obey. They came and took my girls. They made Nagaya subdue me while they took our children." I wiped my eyes, realizing that he and I were both weeping. Kira crossed her legs.

"Takei-san, you don't have to—" I began, but he held up his hand.

"I need someone to hear my tale," he had a melancholy smile, so I surrendered my objections and he resumed. "They blamed me for it. I was exiled from our village, marked as an enemy ninja... And Nagaya... She died of heartbreak. With her last effort, she gave me her remaining chakra and bestowed her kekkei tota on me so that I could never be subjected to its wrath again.

"I joined this circus, and we wander across civilian villages. The joy that the children experience is enough to keep someone like me from moving onto to next life..." He trailed off, catching my eye, then laughed and scratched his head. "Anyways, that's my story... It doesn't have a good ending, I'm afraid."

I smiled, looking down at my lap. "Takei-san, I don't think that what happened to you was right, and I'm sorry for your loss... I'm inspired by your enthusiasm to keep children happy."

Kira cleared her throat, "If you're done, Suki..."

I gave her a look, but let her speak.

"Takei-san, may I ask what this is on Nagaya-san's shoulder?" She pointed to a speck on the woman's right shoulder.

Takei chuckled, then pulled his collar back. He had a small moon tattooed on his left shoulder. "She and I had these done... It was her idea. I was her son and she was my moon."

I looked at Kira, eyes wide in shock. She nodded sagely and pulled her collar down. She had the sun tattooed on her right shoulder. "Suki."

"Oh, right," I mumbled, pulling my own back. I had the moon on my left shoulder. "She is my moon," I began.

"And she is my sun," Kira finished.

Takei was at a loss for words. "That's—... This cannot be mere coincidence."

Kira nodded again. "Takei-san, I know this may be hard to hear... But we may be your lost daughters."

He swallowed, crossing his hands under his chin. "There is a village hidden where wind, fire, and water meet. There, you'll find the answers you seek."

With that, Kira pulled me from the caravan as I waved to the man, who looked more troubled than when we arrived.

Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara were waiting for us.

Sasori grumbled about how long we'd been, but I ignored him and laced my hand in Kisame's.

He gave me a worried look, "Are you alright?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled, fixing a smile on my face. "It's okay."


	18. Uncovering What Lies Within, Part 3

Kira

Suki seemed troubled on the trek back to the base, and Kisame had quietly held her hand the whole time.

Back at HQ, she mumbled something about needing a nap, and wandered off toward Kisame's room, with the big shark man trailing behind her.

Sasori gave me a look and followed me to my room.

"That man... He knew our names, he claimed to have had twin daughters who were taken away by his wife's clan, they were named the same."

Sasori grunted, "That's a coincidence," he said gruffly.

"I thought so too, until..." I showed him my tattoo, "He showed us an identical tattoo to Suki's, and his wives was the same as mine. It's just... There are too many similarities to call it a coincidence." I said, perplexed.

He was quiet, contemplating.

"And he spoke of a village, full of these smoke users. Where fire, wind, and water are."I recalled, though if I was remembering correctly, there was no way that the Lands of Fire, Water, and Wind shared a border.

"Maybe it doesn't necessarily mean the nations of fire, water, and wind." Sasori quietly explained. "Long before borders were set and Ninja villages were founded, our lands were characterized by their distinct weather patterns. It was rainy in Rain, windy in Wind, the fire spread quicker in the drier climate of Fire..." He waved his hand, "I could go on, but you get the point... Right?"

I nodded, "Somewhere that has all three factors, Fire, Wind, and Water, then." I concluded, and he nodded.

"The hidden village of smoke, Kemurigakure." He said.

I found myself agreeing with Takei... If we went to wherever this place was, we'd find the answers we sought.

I visited Suki that night, and we sat on her bed and talked.

"All of our life, we knew that the people who raised us weren't our real parents," She sighed, her blonde hair piled on top of her head in a bun.

I nodded, quiet, and contemplative.

"And Takei-san didn't deserve the fate he got... If there's a chance that he's..." She cut herself off, shaking her head.

"I agree that there are too many matching details... But what if we're not?" I asked, not afraid to dash her hopes.

She shrugged. "I just hope that we are."

I nodded once more, and she changed the subject, instantly gushing over how adorable her shark-nin could be.

She pestered me about the progress of my relationship with Sasori, and I told her all there was to tell, nothing had happened, and I was perfectly fine with that.

It had been a while since the last time we had slept in the same bed, but I woke the next morning feeling closer to my sister than I had in a long time.

It was tough convincing Pein to allow us to travel somewhere that probably didn't exist, so Suki and I drug Sasori back to the village with us to talk to Takei.

We arrived at the fairgrounds, but the circus had already departed.

"We... Missed him..." Suki mumbled, dropping her face into her hands.

"Just our luck," I kicked a rock, and Sasori patted my head. I brushed his hand away and looked at Suki.

More than anything, I wanted to help her get the closure she wanted, but there was still a part of me that was upset that we hadn't gotten to confirm or deny our theory.

Sasori had some items to pick up, so we accompanied him to run his errands.

We strolled the downtown area as he visited a special woodworking shop. Suki led us to a small cartography shop. I held the door open for her, and it jingled as we entered.

"Hello!" An old woman greeted us, seemingly popping up from nowhere. "Are you looking for something? A map will help! Handmade and guaranteed to help you get to your destination!"

My sister beamed, already taking the lead on this. "We're looking for a place where fire, wind, and water meet."

I watched the grin fall from the woman's face. "You are not the first to ask this question. That is just urban legend." She offered another toothless grin, and I got the impression that she wasn't being entirely truthful. "I have a map here for beautiful tourist sites," she held the map out to Suki, "Free of charge. Please enjoy."

With that, she disappeared into the back of the store once more, closing off that end of our investigation.

"Wait, she said someone else came in asking... Do you think she meant Takei-san?"My twin asked, bright and hopeful. We exited the store and returned to our rendezvous spot.

"Perhaps... But didn't he say he'd been there before?" I asked, reminding her of the holes in that theory.

She shook her head, pale ringlets bouncing. "No, he said that he and Nagaya lived away from the clan," she corrected me. "It's entirely possible that he came here asking for directions to the spot where this place would be..."

I sighed, dropping my remaining argument. "Alright, if you say so..."

She made a noise, then greeted Sasori as he approached us. "Hey, Sasori-Kun."

He nodded, glancing at me. "Are you ready to return?"

I shrugged and Suki chirped, "yep!"

"What's that?" He asked, glancing at the map my sister was clutching.

"Oh, um, well the lady in that store gave it to me and said it'd be a pretty sight to see."

"Ah," Sasori said and left it at that as we returned once more to the Akatsuki hideout.

Suki didn't mention the map again when we returned, but her demeanor had changed for the better. She was happier, it seemed, now that we had spoken to the strange old lady.

I spent the evening reading about the history of the world in an old book Sasori had tucked away somewhere. It was dusty and thick, the words are written in age-old ink.

I read all that I could until I started drifting off, curled around the tome.

As if he was bidden, a dark figure slipped in and removed the book from my bed, tucking my blankets around me with the barest hint of a smile.

As I pretended to sleep, he pulled the thick wool blanket over me and perched himself in my chair, silently watching me sleep for a moment before slipping back through the door that connected our bedrooms.

Sasori did this every night, assuming that I was asleep when he let himself in. Eventually, I came to keep myself up until he visited, and only after he left would I close my eyes and allow sleep to take me.

In the early days of our time with the Akatsuki, I didn't sleep well, what with the constant fear of being murdered... Needless to say, when Sasori first started his quiet routine, it startled the hell out of me.

But tonight... I called out to him, mind my tired and confused, I asked him to come back.

"What's wrong?" He asked, faking exasperation.

"Sasori, I can't—" I stopped myself, placing my face in my palms. "It's like I can't form a coherent thought, and I keep wondering and fucking thinking—"

Sasori cut me off with a gentle peck to the lips, patting my head.

"Stop worrying, doll."

I sighed and shifted as he sat next to me.

Sometime later, I drifted off to the sound of the hollow thumping of his heart in his wooden body, a melancholy thought on my mind.

He was gone when I woke up, so I didn't think anything about the uncharacteristic show of weakness.

Zena had returned that morning, and she was in the kitchen, practically getting mauled by Tobi. Sakana and Suki were already eating, obviously enjoying Zena's return.

"Zena-chan, you came back! Hidan said you ran away because Tobi is annoying!" The Uchiha whined, wrapping her in one of his famous bear hugs

She giggled, pushing him back a bit. "I had something secret to take care of," she said, winking and putting a finger to her lips.

I gave her a confused look, but she didn't explain further, just nodded in the direction of fresh food.

I salivated and snatched a scone to fill my stomach. After eating, she led Sakana, Suki, and I to the living room to talk about her spontaneous trip with Konan.

"Ah, well..." She began, looking down at her tea. "Konan took us to Jiraiya, actually," she said. "Because of the incident at the festival." She looked up, seemingly more excited than ever before. "I got to meet Naruto."

"Whoa," I breathed out, impressed. I had a thing for Gaara, and if I ever had a chance to meet the future Kazekage of the Sand, I'd probably be excited too.

Sakana whistled, "Yeah, Shikamaru would be freakin' awesome to meet," she agreed.

Suki shook her head, "Kisame has always been my Number 1."

"Naruto-Kun is so kind and ambitious," She said, "It was really... I mean if being here with the Akatsuki didn't convince you, go talk to that little orange ball of energy."

I smiled, and Sakana and Suki laughed.

"There's more than that, though..." Zena continued after taking a sip of her tea. "When I was a baby, somebody took me from this world—and my true family."

Sakana coughed, spitting out her tea.

"Ew," I remarked.

She stuck her tongue out at me, then looked at Zena. "Something similar happened to me... Nagato and I found out that we're.. erm, siblings." She confessed. "I was waiting until Zena got back to talk to you guys about it."

Suki glanced at me, and I nodded. "Well, we're kind of in the same boat."

"There may be a chance that we're originally from this world." I clarified.

"A chance?" Our calm brunette friend asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, there was this guy and him..." Suki told them the full story, from us meeting Takei, to the weird matching tattoos, and finally, the old woman who refused to answer us, but insisted that we take the map to the bridge.

"That's too odd to be a coincidence," Zena said, "And something is bothering me about that map woman."

Suki nodded, "Yep, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. Pein won't let us go look for a maybe-fake village... But he won't say no if we just want to go look at a bridge... right?" She had a sly smile on her face, and I couldn't help but think about the trouble that usually came after Suki donned that smirk.

As she predicted, Pein let us take a trip to the bridge.

It was more of Sakana and Suki pressuring him to let four fangirls have their moment.

His only condition was that we bring along two Akatsuki members to act as our handlers.

Wisely, we chose Sasori and Deidara, as they were the only two available and willing to accompany us without compensation.

The bridge wasn't far from the headquarters, and we reached it an hour and a half after we began our journey, thanks to Deidara's clay birds. Suki and I sat on one with Sasori, and Zena and Sakana rode with the explosives master.

They disappeared after we landed on the bridge, flying up and exploding.

"What do you think, Kira-chan? Beautiful or what?"

I nodded, "Pretty cool, Deidara-san."

"Hmph, don't encourage his childish ideals," Sasori chided me.

I rolled my eyes and glanced at the map Suki held up again. "This seems to be the right place," I observed, pointing out the similarities on the map.

"Yeah, this is it," My sister agreed, looking up.

You couldn't see further than fifteen feet around you, the fog was so dense.

"I guess this is it," Sakana sighed, sitting down on the wooden bridge.

I shrugged, taking in the view. "If this is what we came this far for, at least it's... Nice."

"Meh, it's alright, but not fleeting enough," Deidara grumbled, feeding clay into his hand-mouths.

Sasori smacked the back of his head, and the blonde yelped.

"It's gorgeous," Zena breathed out, leaning over the railing of the bridge. "Whoa!"

The old railing snapped, and Zena went tumbling over the edge of the bridge, into the mist.

"Zena!" Sakana called out, jumping after our friend.

Deidara jumped into action, spitting a bird figurine out of his hand and jumping on it. He dove down into the spray of mist, disappearing after our falling friends.

Sasori and I looked at each other, then I glanced at Suki.

A minute ticked by, and there was no sign of our friends.

"We have to go after them," Suki worriedly said, biting at her thumb.

I nodded, but Sasori stopped us before we could take action.

"There's got to be a reason they aren't back yet, and we can't blindly jump in without knowing why."

"Yeah... You're right," I sighed.

"Hey! Wait!" A voice called out.

A figure came into view through the fog, waving and shouting.

"Suki-chan! Kira-san!" Takei called, nearing us. "I made it in time..."

"Huh? Takei-san?" My sister asked.

Sasori glanced over the man quickly, deeming him a non-threat.

"The cartographer—I asked her to point you here in case you came asking about Kemurikagure." He explained, showing us a map identical to ours. "She's very meddlesome though, so I wasn't sure if you'd get my message..." He laughed.

"You knew we'd come here?" I asked.

He nodded, "If you truly thought that our ties are deeper than just strangers, then, of course, you'd come." He smiled, closing his eyes.

I looked away, suddenly remembering the others. "Takei-san, our friends fell over the bridge and they haven't come back up."

The blonde man shook his head. "Once you've breathed in a lungful of that smoke, you're out. Your friends won't be coming back up. The Kemuri will return them to the village on the other side of the bridge after they're taken in and healed."

Suki gasped, "But we can't just leave them down there!"

Takei tsked, "I didn't say there wasn't a way to get your friends." A devilish smirk cut across his face, and he led us to the break in the railing. "The trick is to not breathe. Keep in mind that you're going to hit solid ground. Once through the smoke, you're clear to breathe again."

With that, he took in a deep breath of air and dropped from the bridge.

Suki and I exchanged a look and Sasori shrugged. "Not like I have to breathe anyway."

"Lucky you," I murmured, before following Takei's lead and jumping off the bridge.

Don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe. I chanted internally as I fell. I watched the mist thicken, and I realized that it truly was smoke, concealed by a genjutsu of some sort to make one believe that it was just the spray from the river.

My feet hit solid ground, and I breathed in a lungful of air as I looked up to lock at Takei. He was poking at Sakana's head.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, waving the odd man off of my comrade. "Don't do that!"

"Just making sure," he winked, setting the stick he was using in the grass.

A second later, a thump sounded and Suki sat up, pushing her hair from her face.

She bounced up and Sasori landed gracefully beside her.

"Oh my god, are they dead?" My twin asked, picking up the stick and poking Sakana, who was lying face down in a patch of dirt. I could feel myself sweat-drop, watching her act just like the tall, blonde man had moments before.

"No, just under the influence of a powerful genjutsu," Takei explained. I rolled my eyes.

"If you knew that, why did you still poke them?" I asked.

He gave me a blank look. "Poking is fun."

I held back a deep sigh, resisting the urge to have Sasori use this guy for a puppet, potential father, or not.

Sasori picked each of our friends up with his chakra strings, lugging them as Takei led us through the sparse forest.

"The Kemuri clan is very withdrawn," He explained, "So much so that they reject modern technology in favor of the old ways."

Suki hummed, and Sasori and I remained silent.

"Nagaya and I would bring new toys to the children before the twins," He said, "They were always so excited. The adults hated technology... But the kids were in awe." He snapped out of his reverie. "Now they keep to themselves as much as possible. Your friends are under the effect of their Kekkei Tota: Smoke style."

Sasori made a noise of recognition.

Suki and I were lost; there was no mention of this in the manga.

"What's that?" Suki asked.

"Bloodline limit, though it's not quite a kekkei Genkai," Sasori explained quietly, knowing the extent of our knowledge of the Narutoverse, as we'd called it, from our late night talks.

"Correct... Basically." Takei agreed. "The Kemuri clan lives in this spot, where wind and fire and water exist in harmony. The meeting of these elements causes a dense smoke to cover the air above their village. They use this smoke with their ability and cause anyone who breathes it to fall into a sleep genjutsu. Your friends will be out for... two days maybe."

"What?" Suki exclaimed, "That's a long time."

I agreed. That was some Sharingan-type shit, as Sakana would say.

"Well," Takei grunted, knocking a vine from our path, "In this time, they bring the lost visitors to the village and heal them before returning them to the topside."

I bit my lip, "You speak of this place as you came from there."

He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I understood. Takei had come from this place... His own family had framed him and exiled him. It was probably troublesome to come back

"There is a new clan head, and he's got a soft spot for me..." He said, "It's just hard for me to return to the place where that pain lies."

I was listening too intently to his story, I tripped over a rock and went down hard.

"Shit!" I yelped, clutching my bleeding knee.

"Kira!" Sasori exclaimed, kneeling to examine my knee. "Are you alright?"

I flushed and looked away. "I'll be fine, stop fussing. Just... Help me up, alright?" I snapped, embarrassed by the look Suki was giving me.

Sasori shrugged and offered me his hand as he stood.

I winced as I rose, and he swept me into his arms. I objected to his carrying me, but he ignored me.

He filed behind Suki and Takei through the thickening brush, ignoring my commands to set me down.

"The village is founded by the Kemuri, the branch of the original Kekkei wielders that use smoke." Takei further explained. "Their closest family is the Iburi, they control ash style." He paused in front of us, and we all halted behind him. "They have a deep-seated hatred for each other... Going so far as to move hundreds of miles apart to keep their distance. Imagine my mother's reaction when an Iburi man wandered in, injured, and confused. That night, my mother cared for him and hid him, and for a fleeting moment, the clans were joined as one. He was discovered, but not before creating a life with my mother. I was born many months later, a Kemuri child with the Kekkei of an Iburi." He recalled. "I was tormented, but she saved me. Gave me a reason to smile... And when it was my turn to make her smile, well... I went above and beyond to make Nagaya happy." He let out a low chuckle, then continued moving.

Sasori shifted me as he walked, and I hid my face in his hair.

"And your mother?" Suki asked, cutting the silence.

"Ah, she died a long time ago. After Nagaya and I wed." Takei replied quickly. "It was natural causes, it's okay, Suki-chan. Don't be sad."

He had known she was crying without looking back at her. Hm.

We finally broke through into a clearing, and Takei waved his arms wide. "Welcome to Kemurigakure."

A few steps into the clearing, we were stopped by a band of men dressed in rust-colored pants.

"Takei, you've returned." The leader spoke, glancing at Suki and I. "And you've brought outsiders."

Takei chuckled, holding his arms out. "They come seeking answers. Bring them before Nakito-sama and give them the confirmation they deserve."

The man swallowed and narrowed his eyes. "Who are you to be demanding anything, murderer?"

Takei stilled, his voice coming out in a low growl, "You'll watch your mouth, Okuto."

The man scoffed but nodded to his men.

Sasori set me down cautiously and moved away, standing beside Takei as the guards flanked my sister and me.

They fell around us, two of them broke off to usher Takei and Sasori away, the latter's chakra strings still attached to our unconscious friends.

The squadron led us through the village as if parading us in front of the entire community. Side family members eyed us, murmuring behind their hands as we passed through the streets. We finally reached a large house, what I could only assume was the main family's compound.

"Sit." One of the men commanded, and we kneeled in the dirt in front of the large home.

As we waited, one of the other guards entered the house, returning a moment later.

"Lord Nakito will speak with these foreigners." He declared, and I was pulled roughly to my feet.

The house was traditional, complete with sliding paper doors and simple furnishings. We walked through until we reached a bare room, with a low table and two mats on one side of the table.

Suki and I sat side-by-side, glancing at one another in apprehension.

We were joined a moment later by a thin older man wearing a decorated yukata.

"Welcome to Kemurigakure, visitors," He smiled, looking at one of his guards, who stood by the door. "I'm told you have questions regarding—" His words stopped as he looked at me. "Nagaya."

I swallowed and shook my head.

"—, Lord Nakito, was it?" My sister cut in, "We came to ask about Nagaya-san's lost daughters."

Nakito chuckled, "Those two are long gone, lost somewhere in this vast world."

"Excuse me?" I asked, clearing my throat. "Takei said that they were..."

Nakito looked down at his hands. "I'm no monster... They were removed from the village and sent away."

Suki and I shared a look. "With all due respect, we need to know everything about those girls."

He hummed, still looking at his hands. "Then you must speak to Elder Oul."

I was tired of the goose chase, to be honest, but Suki kept her determination and led us to the place that Nakito described.

She knocked firmly on the door, and a young woman with ash-gray hair and eyes that resembled burning coals answered. "Yes?"

"Ah, my apologies, we must have gotten the wrong address," Suki bowed, this wasn't the old man Nakito described; the last member of the Council that was active at the time.

"You must be looking for Ojii-san," The girl said, opening her door wider. "He doesn't get many visitors now, but you're welcome to come in."

I nodded graciously and followed her through the home into a small room.

The old man was laying in his bed, and as he entered, his head seemed to swivel around to look at us.

"Hmm, so you've come," he quietly said, "Then it is time. Dear Akane, could you prepare tea for our guests?"

"Hai, Ojii-san!" The girl bowed quickly and left, closing the door behind her.

"Oul-san, we've come to see the truth," Suki said, stepping toward the old man's frail body, placing her hand on his arm.

"No," he shook his head fractionally. "You've come to see the past."

He reached his hand out to me, and I don't know why, but I took it. His other hand was placed in Suki's, and he exhaled slowly.

"Oul-san?" Suki asked, placing her other hand on his.

"Quiet, child," he chastised, and my sister fell silent.

"Close your eyes and you shall see," He cryptically said, and I felt my eyes drifting closed.

Images flashed through my brain, the council arguing over Nagaya and Takei's wedding, and a young Nakito stepping forward and pledging his loyalty to the family, and asking for the role as heir.

Then, the council discussing Nagaya's children.

"It's simply too dangerous," an old woman said, "We cannot risk any twins, regardless of who they are born to."

A much younger Oul shook his head, looking over at Nakito, who had remained silent until now.

"I agree with Lina-sama," He said, though his voice was trembling. "We must remove the children from the clan."

"No, more than that!" Lina argued, and a few of the other elders nodded in agreement.

Nakito stood and slapped his hand on the table. "No harm will come to them!"

"Nakito! Do you dare argue with the elders? Know your place," Lina snapped, and Nakito sat back down without a word.

The vision faded, replaced by another. Masked clan members held a crying Nagaya up as they carried the babies away. She wept as she collapsed on the ground. Takei lay motionless beside her, a thick smoke hanging around him like fog.

Another came up, Nakito and Oul talking quietly, looming over the crib holding the twins.

"Take them far away," Oul warned Nakito. "I agree that the distance from the village is the best course of action... But Lina has everyone convinced that the children must die..."

Nakito wiped tears from his eyes and nodded resolutely. "I will find someone to take the children."

The images were playing through faster now, just snippets of conversation before they were replaced with another. Nakito handing the children to a person cloaked in black, then the person carrying the children away through the smoke.

Then the person was in the village. They set the children down on a stoop and pulled the mask away from their faces.

Nagaya smiled sweetly at her children, pressing a chaste kiss to each of their foreheads before bursting into smoke and drifting away in the wind.

Suki and I came back at the same time, gasping for air.

"That's what happened to the twins, then..." My sister remarked, frowning.

Oul's grip hung limp, and his eyes fluttered.

"Oul-san?" Suki gasped, dropping his hand to feel the man.

Akane re-entered then, "Ojii-san!" She dropped to his side and placed her hand on his wrist. "Using those damned eyes always leaves him weak." She said, turning to us, "Don't worry." Her ember eyes glanced between the two of us. "I sincerely hope that you got what you came here for, but-"

"Is there anything we can do to help?" My sister cut the young girl off.

She looked confused for a moment, then smiled, "No, Ojii-san will be alright, I just need to burn sage and rosemary to rouse him."

We watched the process, it was almost as if she were performing a sacred ritual.

She turned and noticed the shared confusion between Suki and I. "Kemuri blood keeps our bodies from suffering adverse reactions to smoke," Akane explained, "Among that, these bundles are infused with chakra, and that helps bring him back."

"It seems you're used to this," I observed.

"Yes. Ojii-san used to get visitors a lot, but the more he uses the eyes, the more time it takes for his stamina to replenish." Her eyes were downcast, watching her grandfather as she tended to him. "Now Nakito-sama only comes a few times a year. Ojii-sama doesn't have much time left."

After a few more wafts of the smoke, Oul-san slowly opened his eyes, "I'm sorry, Akane-chan," he mumbled.

She took his hand in hers, soothing him. "It's alright, Ojii-san, I understand the burden of your eyes."

"Mmm, I'm going to rest now, dear," He quietly said, closing his eyes once more.

Akane led us to the sitting room in the house and poured us each a cup of tea.

"Akane-san, could you tell us about your grandfather's eyes?" I asked, not interested in the too-hot liquid.

She swallowed, glancing from me to Suki. "Ojii-san inherited those eyes from his brother," she said, solemnly. "He was known as the God-Killer. He slew the divine twins and took their foresight and hindsight." She tapped her forehead, indicating that the man she spoke of had stolen the third eyes of the powerful beings.

I remained silent, glancing at my sister.

"He wanted the power those third eyes held, and with the pair of Jikan eyes, you can see through anything. However, his spree of pillaging and murder led to cosmic retaliation. As he died, he gave my grandfather the eyes. If he had died before transplanting the eyes, they would have withered to dust without being returned to their rightful owners."

"And your grandfather is waiting for the return of the goddesses to give back the eyes."

She nodded, "Ojii-san has a good heart," A sad smile graced her lips. "The greed of this clan is what's tearing it apart, not the prophecy."

"That's right, Takei-san told us that your family has something against twins..." Suki recalled, "Can you tell us more?"

Akane nodded, "There's an old legend... Twin sisters, Mirai and Kako, founded the clans. They were the great rulers of the clans, they each held a mysterious third eye. They were considered Goddesses and were worshiped so... Until the Goddesses were slaughtered and their third eyes stole. Since then, their names have been besmirched and their legacies have been disgraced, all thanks to the generation of evil that had a hold on our country for so long..."

"That's..." Suki started, but Akane continued.

"The elders believed that any twins born into the clan are the Goddess's attempts at rebirth, though to be honest, it rarely happens... They insist that the children must be gotten rid of, as letting them grow stronger will result in the downfall of the clan... But," She paused, looking at us, "I think the elders are misunderstanding. This place belongs to the Goddesses. They just want to come back."

I looked at Suki as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "That's a very interesting point of view, Akane-san," I remarked. "But I think that they must want their eyes back..."

Suki giggled, and the dour atmosphere loosened microscopically. Akane had a hint of a smile on her face.

"The elders believe that twins are evil," Suki observed.

"Mm. So much so that even the heiresses to the clan weren't spared. Lord Nakito had to... Kill his sister's children... His nieces." She looked up, clapping her hands over her mouth. "I shouldn't be revealing such dark family secrets to outsiders. I apologize."

"No, don't!" Suki cried, "We came asking, we expected to hear everything."

I nodded in agreement. We had heard the awful tale from Takei, who was scarred from his time here.

The redhead sighed, locking her hands together. "I'll tell you everything, then..."

Suki and I both nodded, and she began to speak.

"In the old days, the clans' people would visit the Smoke Goddesses' shrines to seek answers from their future or past. Their eyes cannot be used to see one's own story, so the Goddesses accepted gifts in return for their services."

I nodded, following along.

"There was a man who sought his future, but he wasn't happy with what Mirai-sama told him. After a telling, the Goddesses would need rest, and while Mirai-sama was recuperating, he snuck in and cut the eye from her head, implanting it into his own. With the new power that the eye granted, he killed her, then her sister." She glanced at Suki and me, and for a split second, the embers in her eyes were a raging flame, "With both eyes, he was able to see everything. He was able to manipulate smoke through his chakra, and have no difficulty seeing through any type of genjutsu. He went on to unify the people into the Kemuri clan, giving all of his descendants the ability to manipulate smoke. The eyes were passed along the line, usually given to the heir to the clan... But Nagaya refused to take the cursed orbs, and there was nobody left to receive them before the previous user died... Ojii-san stepped forward and took on the burden. He's had them since, but his body is too frail to withstand the toll they take. Soon, he'll be gone and I will receive the eyes to hold until they true owners return."

"How will you know?" Suki asked, suddenly.

I hadn't even thought to ask it.

"I'll know," Was all she said.


	19. Uncovering What Lies Within, Part 4

**_It should be noted that the story following is a work of fiction and will not adhere to the facts of Naruto, and as such, some details may be altered to fit this work. I don't add a disclaimer often, so please remember that I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters used in this work, save for my own OCs, and the rest belongs to MK. As such, please keep in mind that I'm aware of the true history of_** **_shinobi as dictated by the true Naruto series and any other such mention of details not clarified in the official release of the tale are created by or referenced by this writer. For more information on Shokuton and Plant Style, please reference_ Plant Release _by_ CallMeChaos on the Naruto Fanon Wiki. _I am loosely referencing this but adding minor changes to accompany my tale._**

**_Thank you._ **

* * *

**Third Person**

* * *

_Three Days Earlier_

* * *

_Brown eyes flicked over a scene she couldn't control, her own body unwilling to obey her commands to stop._

_She watched in horror as she ruthlessly slaughtered her attacker, his blood soaking her hands, face, and the beautiful silk yukata she wore._

Merciless, _she thought as tears welled in her eyes._

_A figure came out from the shadows, quickly assessing the scene and gathering the frail woman in his arms. He formed a hand seal and a black creature slipped from his body and set about cleaning the darkening alleyway before any soul wandered upon it._

_The man lifted her and murmured something gentle to her._

_She could only cry as she was carried away, back to the haven._

* * *

Hours later, those same eyes reopened, terrified, and panicked from the recurring dream.

She sat, chest heaving as she tried to collect her bearings.

A soft voice was unheard in her labored state, and it wasn't until the green-haired man was gently pulling her face towards his that she began to calm.

"Z-Zetsu-san," her voice trembled as she spoke, the volume barely above a whisper.

"Zena-chan, are you alright?"

His response was the small brunette burying her face into his neck. She sobbed into his skin, emotions too strong to form into words.

He comforted her by softly stroking her hair, supporting but not smothering.

Eventually, her tears subsided, and she lifted her head.

Despite the puffy eyes and ruddy face, she was _quite cute_ , the ninja found himself remarking.

"Zetsu-san..." She managed, wiping her tears from her face with her arm. "What's happening to me?"

"Don't worry, Zena-chan, these usually happen when a Kekkei Genkai is being awakened. I'm sure that transportation from your world is what started opening your chakra system back up." The Uchiha was suddenly in the room, his bright orange mask doing nothing to lighten the mood that his dark words had amplified.

The girl licked her lips and swallowed, eyes flicking between the two men in her room. "I- I don't understand, Obito-san."

The raven scoffed, "You used _Plant Style_ ," He explained, but when she showed no understanding of his implication, he sighed. " _Shokuton_ , _a very rare kekkei tota,_ actually only inherited from a mother during pregnancy. I'm not sure _how_ this is possible, but I'd be willing to bet your real mother had this unique capability as well... Or your grandmother... Something like that. That's going into recessive genes and it's not my strong suit." He waved his hand flippantly.

Zena gazed down at hands, "Um, but I'm from... Earth..." She sounded unsure, despite her statement.

"Apparently not," Obito chirped before warping away, leaving the girl more confused than ever, and the plant-man at a loss for words. He hadn't made the connection yet himself, so the revelation was very thought-provoking. Possibilities flashed through his mind at a kilometer a minute, and a theory began to form.

"So this means... Somehow I was taken to the other world..." She mumbled, stricken by the thought.

"Zena-chan, this _Shokuton_... It's something I've encountered only once in my life. A very long time ago. Before-" He cut himself off, licking his lips. "I can gather more intelligence for you about it, as public knowledge is nonexistent."

She looked up, a glimmer of hope in her doe eyes. "I couldn't ask you to do that."

White Zetsu shook his head, "I don't mind. I can arrange for an intel mission, provided I had Pein-sama's permission... He may have other higher-ranked missions I'm needed for."

The girl seemed to deflate. "O-Oh, then don't be bothered by it."

He noticed the crestfallen look and reached out to pat her head. "Don't worry, I'll get it taken care of."

She smiled, hope renewed. "Thank you Ze-" Her eyes widened, and she noticed the lack of his black half. "Ah, White Zetsu-san."

"You can call me Shiro," His lips twitched upwards in somewhat of a smile, and she returned his grin.

"Thank you, Shiro-san." She flushed and bowed her head briefly.

"You should get some more rest," He advised, before leaving the room, and the girl, along with the bloody memory still fresh.

* * *

Sometime later, her eyes fluttered open again, this time more aware of her surroundings.

She blinked, realizing she was still alone and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Somehow, she hadn't noticed that she had been cleansed from the prior bloodshed, and an anchor dropped in her stomach at the thought of _who_ would do such a task while she slept.

She stretched her limbs before leaving the solitude of her bedroom and wandering down the familiar path to the kitchen. There, she made a quick meal of leftover vegetables and rice, before tidying her mess and washing her hands.

As the brunette finished her task, she was joined in the kitchen by Zetsu, now fully reformed in his bicolor state.

"Ah, hello Zetsu-san," She greeted him with a smile. "Are you hungry, by any chance?"

" **No** , **the ninja you slaughtered made a great meal after we provided proof of death,** " Black Zetsu mused, licking his lips. His white half looked mortified and hissed at his counterpart.

The brunette giggled, "It's alright, Shiro-san." She assured the spy nin.

" **Do you expect us to believe that?** " Black Zetsu asked, crossing his arms. "I agree, first kills for ninjas tend to lead to trauma among other psychological damage."

Zena sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "I'm not..." She sighed, biting her lip in an attempt to muster the words to explain the turbulent emotions swelling like tidal waves inside of her. She licked her lips, finally speaking, "I understand that I have some kind of power deep inside of me... But... I just want to know more about it before I can fully accept it." She explained, "And so... I've decided that I'm going with you to get the information."

"Is that for the best right now?" Shiro asked, while his black half grumbled.

"I've made up my mind." She leveled her determined gaze on the man, and he backed down.

Deciding against arguing, Zetsu nodded and left to speak with Pein about the girl's insistence.

* * *

Ringed lavender eyes leveled against empty golden orbs. "I've already given you permission to depart, given that you'll return before midnight tomorrow..." The leader trailed off.

"My apologies, Pein-sama." He inclined his head, "It seems that Zena-san is adamant about accompanying me on this trip." The strange man explained. " **I don't agree with it, but she is stubborn.** "

"You've grown quite fond of young Zena," Pein surmised, giving Zetsu a hard look.

Zetsu had no explanation. His white half was far too attached, and despite the constant battering and browbeating the black side of him gave, his refusal to let down the odd girl wouldn't waver. It would prove to be a hindrance to their plan.

Pein was silent for a long moment, his hands braced under his chin in the tiger seal. At last, he opened his rinnegan eyes and nodded. "Very well, the girl shall travel with you." He paused again, calculating. "However, you will also be joined by Konan-san." As he spoke, the aforementioned woman entered the room from an adjoining door. She was prepared for travel already, donning her cloak that she typically shed inside of the base. Pein wasn't finished, however. "The deadline had been extended to four days. Return no later than daybreak."

"Hai." The spy and the paper master chorused, and with a flick of their leader's wrist, they exited the room.

Upon returning to the kitchen, Zetsu found the peculiar brunette filling dozens of bento boxes with different prepared foods. "Oh, you're back... Hello Konan-san." She greeted the two, not breaking from her task.

"Zena-chan..." The blue-haired woman spoke, apparent confusion in her voice.

"Oh, I'm just preparing meals for everyone while I'm gone... I am going... Right?" She glanced at her bicolor comrade, who nodded. A grin spread across her face, and she sped up her pace, filling and closing boxes of different shapes, sizes, and colors.

Zetsu and Konan watched in amusement as she rushed through the deed, eventually finishing and arranging the towering containers in the tall refrigerator. Zena cleaned up the countertop and wiped her hands with the towel.

"Konan-san, could you help me pack? I've never been on a trip..." She admitted sheepishly.

Konan smiled and inclined her head toward the door, urging Zena to lead the way.

* * *

Several minutes later, the pair of women re-emerged from the brunette's room, the shokuton user now clad in an outfit more suitable for travel, and in the worst case, combat.

She was covered with a light green turtleneck shirt and black combat pants. She wore zipped up sandals and a thin dark green cloak. She had a blank headband hanging loosely from her hip, attached to her pants.

"Why do you have that?" Konan asked softly.

"Oh—Um..." She stuttered, caught off guard, her earlier confidence now gone. "Well I'm gonna trade it out once I know where I'm truly from, but it's a reminder." She confessed, a light pink dusting her cheeks. "It's stupid, I know..."

"No," The older woman replied, "It's a nice reminder."

"Thank you, Konan-san." Zena grinned, clenching her fists.

" **I hate to interrupt, but... Can we leave now?** " Black Zetsu cut in, motioning for the women to carry on.

The fell into a decent paced trot, but despite Zetsu's mayfly, he stayed close to his companions.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Zena asked, looking at Konan.

"Amegakure," She said, "Pein sent me along to help direct you to the place you need to be. Zetsu-san can guide you further, but getting there might be a bit of a problem."

The brunette hummed but didn't speak further, and the trio made their way to the village hidden in the rain.

* * *

Despite Konan's information that they would be traveling to the rainy village, they bypassed the city and trekked a muddy trail through the mountains northbound.

The two veterans were unphased by the biting downpour, and although the brunette shivered under the harsh conditions, she didn't complain as she carried herself onward.

Through the night the three ninjas trekked on, fleece-lined cloaks sopping and heavy. They didn't stop until they reached the peak of the mountain, where the rain didn't reach.

Relieved to be out of the shower, Zena let out a long sigh.

"We're almost there," Zetsu murmured.

Zena nodded once and stepped forward.

Konan spoke then, "An old acquaintance agreed to meet with us, considering the specific intel we require."

"Hai." Zena chirped, still shaking from her wet clothes.

The rest of the journey was completed in less than twenty minutes; the trio eventually broke from the thick forest covering the mountain into a clearing, where a familiar white-haired Sanin sat, meditating. At his side was the small blonde bundle of energy, famous throughout her world.

"Naruto-Kun," She immediately whispered, and the Sanin's eyes snapped open.

"Ah, Konan-chan..." He greeted the blue-haired woman, and she bowed to him.

"Sensei."

He laughed, his chuckle deep and hearty. "Come sit," He motioned for the trio, and they crossed the space in moments, joining the old man and the 12-year-old on the dirt.

Once they were situated, Zena couldn't help but watch the blonde boy intensely, amazed that she had met him in the flesh.

He gave her a big grin, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, believe it!"

She giggled, pleased that he had used his catchphrase. "I am Zena."

"Ah, so you're the girl, eh?" Jiraiya took her in, eyes lingering across her lips and breasts.

She flushed and pulled her cloak closed, glancing at Zetsu.

"Relax, relax," the Sanin waved his hand as if clearing the air.

His former student shook her head, unimpressed by the old man's antics.

Zena's shoulders decompressed once more and she glanced at Zetsu and Konan. Neither spoke, so Zena fixed her eyes on the Sanin.

"Jiraiya-sama... I cannot explain all to you, but I've recently experienced some change in circumstance and as such, have had an episode of a very frightening power..." Zena began, hoping he'd help supply information they lacked.

"Shokuton, yes... It isn't commonly seen anymore, not since the decimation of the Kiso clan, and since the heiress was killed in her infancy, there are no known users of the Shokuton..." He noticed the girl wince and he shrugged, "Sorry kid... Although... There's a tavern in Amegakure where you might get some answers from an old friend of mine. I used to know her as Blossom, but she goes by Ayame now. You'll find her at the Saku Hana Pub in the heart of the city."

Konan gave him a withering glare, but she nodded, accepting the valuable intel. "I know of the place. Thank you, Jiraiya-sama." She began to rise from her seat, preparing to leave, but he stopped her.

"I don't give information for free, Konan-chan," He chided, "Stay for a few more moments, please." It had been so long since he could enjoy a moment of serenity with his former student from Ame.

She nodded hesitantly, sitting back down. She was still guarded, aware that Jiraiya could engage in battle at any moment.

Zetsu sat silently, assessing the young jinchuuriki. The blonde ball of energy was fiddling with a spare water balloon, still perfecting his training for the Rasengan under Jiraiya's tutelage.

Zetsu didn't know what to think of the pipsqueak. He was supposed to play a vital role in Kaguya's return, yet the weak youngling was sitting in a state of relaxing, his orange-clan legs sprawled open in front of him. A matching orange jacket was tossed haphazardly over a pile of logs.

_Hmph,_ Zetsu thought, _I could easily grab him now and take that bijuu right out of him..._ His golden eyes flicked to his brunette companion. She wouldn't take too kindly to such an act in front of her, and his weak white half had a sentimental attachment to the young girl, preventing his dark side from bringing any harm to her, physical or emotional. _Damn it._

"So, Zena-chan, right?" The Sanin's attention was back on the brunette and she felt her cheeks heat under his careful gaze.

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama." She inclined her head, reaffirming her earlier introduction.

He chuckled, "Jiraiya-san is fine, sweetheart. I'm not _that_ old." This remark was followed by a wink. Zena held back a squeak, uncomfortable in the pervy sage's flirtation.

"Jiraiya," Konan growled, and her older sensei chuckled, batting his hand at the air in her direction.

"Tell me more about yourself, Zena. What are you doing for the Akatsuki?" He asked after a moment, his note of seriousness returning as he carefully assessed the young kunoichi.

"Um, well," She quietly started, fiddling with her hands. What could she say to him? What was her role? After a long moment, she came up with an answer. "I take care of the Akatsuki."

"Hmm, and you're aware that they're all criminals and murderers, then?" He mused, placing his right fist under his chin.

She nodded, "I'm aware... But... They're not all bad. They're misunderstood, and yes, some of them have some unsavory qualities, but when it comes down to it, they're a group of comrades trying to do what they believe is right, as misguided as they are." She slapped her hands over her mouth, fearing she had spoken too much.

Jiraiya gave her a contemplative look. "I couldn't say I agreed more."

"Well... It's just that..." She began, wrenching her hands again. "I want world peace as much as they do, and I don't exactly agree with their methods, but I'll try my best to keep these people I care about safe." She said, decidedly, clenching her sore hands into determined fists.

Naruto had a glimmer in his eye, amazed at the girl's words. "Whoa, Zena-chan, you're so cool."

She shook her head, refusing his compliment, "I don't think so, I just _care._ "

Konan rose, then, looking at the sky. "It's time to depart, we need to make it to Amegakure before nightfall."

Jiraiya stood as well, Naruto bouncing up behind him seconds later. Zetsu helped Zena to her feet, and she exchanged a few quiet words with him before he joined Konan.

She had distanced herself from the camp considerably, avoiding saying farewell to her former sensei again.

"Zena asked to speak with Jiraiya and Naruto alone." He informed the blue-haired woman.

His remark was met with a shrug, "Then let's give them a moment." She glanced at her former sensei and left Zetsu at the camp, disappearing down the mountain.

"What is it, Zena-chan?" The Sanin asked, glancing at Zetsu.

"I... Jiraiya-sama, I have something important I'd like to say..." She glanced at Zetsu as well, then back to the Sanin. "Privately."

He nodded, a solemn look gracing his face. "Naruto."

"Got it, Old geezer," the 12-year-old grumbled, stalking back to the makeshift training grounds.

"Please, after you," Jiraiya said, opening the flap to the tent.

Zena ducked in, followed by the Toad Sanin.

They sat, quiet and tense for a moment.

"This tent is sealed with a sound barrier. You can speak freely." Jiraiya told the girl.

She sighed, "The conditions of your death-"

He held up his hand, "I don't want to hear it."

"No, you must hear this," She urged, eyes dark and serious. "It is preventable. My... Comrades and I have seen Naruto's storyline in its entirety... We want to prevent the Ten-Tails from being risen... More importantly, we want to preserve the great shinobi that Naruto-Kun will become... However," Jiraiya didn't know what to make of the words.

"We... There's something off about our situation, and we've yet to find out why we're here... We want to save the ninjas comprising the group Akatsuki."

He scoffed, "You already know that they're dangerous people."

She shook her head. "Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko... They just wanted peace, didn't they? It's unfortunate how their lives ended up, but they're being manipulated. There are many dark secrets around this group, including Itachi Uchiha..." Her eyes shifted back to Jiraiya. "In the time I've spent with these 'dangerous' people, I've come to see that they truly want to live in a world that isn't constantly ravaged by war... And in the greater scheme of things, they end up causing the third war."

Her words left a bitter taste in the old man's mouth.

"I promise you... They won't succeed in stealing the tailed beasts." She was determined to prevent the Gedo statue from being unsealed, a promise that Jiraiya hoped the young kunoichi could keep.

"Ah... Well, to be honest, I'm not sure how to respond to that..." Jiraiya chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

"Then don't," Zena mused, standing up. "But please keep my words in mind..."

She left the tent then, and Jiraiya followed her. She called out a goodbye to Naruto, who was still training with the tree stumps and rejoined her comrade.

They left, and Jiraiya stood watching them disappear through the forest for a few minutes,

Perhaps Tsunade-sama might want the intelligence about four young kunoichis who knew the future.

* * *

Zena yawned as she trod down the mountain beside Zetsu,

"Tired?" He asked, and she was caught off-guard by his sudden words.

"Mm," She affirmed, "I'll make it to Amegakure."

He shook his head and offered his hand to Zena, and she hesitantly took it.

In an instant, his mayfly was activated and the two melded together into the ground.

Seconds later they were in the pouring rain, caught up to Konan.

"I was beginning to think you two would never come back," She sighed, standing up. "Pein-sama is updated and we are expected to continue to travel now."

Zena nodded, quietly apologizing for holding her up. Konan didn't speak but patted the brunette on the head as she passed.

"We'll run now. Zetsu, carry Zena-chan." Konan commanded, and Zena was immediately swept up into the spy's arms.

Accepting her fate, she relaxed into the strange man's arms, and eventually, the rhythmic jostling of his shifting lulled her into a soft snore.

Taking the relative isolation from the brunette for granted, Konan addressed the spy. "You were listening to their conversation."

He made a noise, neither confirming or denying the accusation.

"What did she say?" She asked again, glancing at the two-toned man.

His golden eyes flicked over her, then settled back on the horizon. "... **It seems our former-feline friends have a plan to stop us from resurrecting the ten tails**." He finally told her.

"Hm," the sound was troubled. "They've already warned us that our plan doesn't work as intended. It seems we'll have to have another conversation with them."

Zetsu made a noise of assent, " **And the infernal bindings of 'true love'.**.. **We must remedy that.** " Black Zetsu growled.

Konan didn't reply, and the conversation ended there.

As they neared the village once more, nearly an hour later, Zena began stirring.

"She's awake," Shiro murmured. " **Obviously.** " His black half added.

Zena didn't say anything, but her stomach rumbled quietly.

"We'll arrive soon," Shiro informed her, and she responded with a nod.

It wasn't much long later that they entered the village, bypassing the ferry and sprinting across the open water until they reached the dock.

Zetsu set the girl down, and she stretched her legs before turning to her comrades, energy renewed from her nap.

She felt invigorated, ready to find Saku Hana, and meet Jiraiya's informant. "So, Konan-san, where are we staying at?"

Konan glanced around, spotting a dodgy building with crumbling bricks. A tattered wooden sign hung from the door, advertising the shaggy edifice as the Weeping Willow Inn.

Despite her concerns about the stability of the sloping building, the interior was taken well care of, but it was obvious that it had seen better days. Still, it was somewhere warm and dry to sleep.

Konan briefly conversed with the innkeeper, who hastily acknowledged the group and lead them to their rooms with a nervous grin.

Zena tried to ease him with a friendly smile, but he gulped and scrambled to leave the presence of the dangerous ninja as soon as he could.

Disheartened, she slunk into the room behind Konan. It was a double room with two twin beds and a pair of faded armchairs by the fireplace.

Zetsu followed her, kneeling to light a fire in the hearth. Konan shucked her cloak off, leaving her in a set of damp, dark gray combat wear.

Zena followed her lead, draping her cloak over the back of one of the armchairs. She sat on it, balancing on the edge daintily to keep from soaking the thin fabric and ruining the chair. She was suddenly too aware of how much her legs ached from the trip. She had never walked as far in her life, not that she needed to live in a large city with any necessities at the touch of her fingertips.

"I'll shower first, then Zena," Konan announced distractedly, slipping into the sanctuary of the bathroom.

She spent a decent chunk of time in there, the shower running for only fifteen minutes before Konan shut it off. The origami creator had spent long enough taking care of herself in the steamy room, that by the time she exited, Zena had dozed off into another nap.

Her clothes were less damp from her proximity to the fireplace, so wringing the rest of the rainwater out of her items didn't take long in the small bathroom sink.

She turned the shower on, relishing the relief the warm spray of water brought to her tired muscles, before quickly scrubbing her pale skin with the bar of soap in the shower.

Convincing herself to turn the water off took a few moments, but eventually, she shut it off and exited the shower, immediately getting goosebumps from the cold room.

She gave her clothes one last wringing before slipping them back on and rejoining the ninja in the main room.

"Feeling better?" Konan asked, lounging by the fire in the other chair. Zetsu was sitting in the corner, quiet and withdrawn.

Zena spared him a glance as she crossed the room to reclaim her previous seat. She nodded as she sat, stretching her sore muscles toward the warmth with a low groan.

She still had a ways ahead of her before she found out everything she wanted to know, and despite her inexperience in the massive world filled with deadly ninja, she was determined to press on until she knew exactly who she used to be.


	20. Uncovering What Lies Within, Finale

Some while later, a low grumble echoed around the room, and Konan stood up, languidly stretching her limbs.

She wrapped her cloak around her body, then slipped her sandals back over her toes. "Zena, come along." She ordered, waiting for the brunette to bundle herself up against the chilly night, then leading her out of the inn and into the street.

The rain was lighter, but the sky was darker. Flickering streetlights illuminated their path through the soggy village.

Zena briefly wondered why they hadn't just procured food from the Inn, but the thought was dismissed as a heavenly scent drifted through her nostrils. Warm drool pooled in her mouth and she followed Konan, and her stomach, toward the smell of delicious food.

Eventually, Konan ducked into an open-front shop and sat at the bar. Zena followed suit, claiming the stool to Konan's left.

Inside, the aroma of sautéed vegetables and roasted meat invaded Zena's senses, and her stomach roared once again.

"Ah, Konan-san. It's been a while since your last visit." The waitress behind the bar smiled softly, setting the bar in front of the two women with bowls and chopsticks. "Will you have the usual today, then?"

Konan affirmed the young orange-haired girl's question with a nod.

The waitress called back to the cook, then turned to Zena, who had been watching quietly. "And you, miss?"

Zena looked around, unsure of what it even was that they served, only reading kanji marked on the board behind the waitress. "Konan-san..." She glanced at her comrade, embarrassed that she couldn't understand.

Konan ordered for her, comfortingly patting her on the head. "Give her the Tonkatsu box, Nari-san." She turned to Zena, remembering her vow to help assist the young girls in training. Knowing how to read and write kanji would prove to be a vital skill, something necessary for survival, should the girl find herself alone and vulnerable to a world she could barely comprehend. "When we return home, I'll teach you." She offered quietly.

Grateful for Konan's help, the shokuton carrier thanked her quickly. She turned to the chopsticks gathered in a tall white jar and snagged a set, carefully inspecting the wooden sticks. She received a calculating glance from Konan, and a shy grin spread across her face. "Don't worry, I know how to use them." She assured her companion, who nodded slowly.

A few moments later, Nari returned with their food, placing the two orders in front of their respective owners. Konan had what seemed like calamari and aromatic mushrooms, grilled perfectly. A fair portion of white rice with a few chives on top was placed to the side in a small bowl. Zena's meal was as Konan had ordered, a crispy fried slice of pork and a dark, rich sauce. She had also received white rice and a medley of cooked vegetables. She broke apart her chopsticks and rubbed any tiny splinters out, daintily placing strips of pork and vegetables into her rice bowl, then digging into the appetizing meal.

She shoveled food in, the flavors melting together into her mouth and exploding across her taste buds. She felt a low moan rising from her throat as she savagely began shoveling more into her cheeks.

She heard a soft giggle from the right, and her eyes slid to Konan, who was watching her with a play of a smile on her lips. Zena flushed and set her bowl down quickly, dabbing at her lips with a napkin as she chuckled at her display.

"That's easily the best thing I've ever tasted," She admitted sheepishly. "I wish I could cook like that."

Konan shrugged, regarding her younger companion with a warm look. "You're meals are good. Don't doubt yourself, and keep working at it."

"You're insightful," Zena remarked, looking down at her food once more. Despite all the flak she got for being a villain in _Naruto,_ Konan was a great comrade, dependable and kind. She was an astounding kunoichi as well, that much was obvious.

She wondered how the blue-haired woman reacts to her idea about fixing the world and saving the people she'd come to care about in the Akatsuki.

Maybe if she'd told them the extremes, the lowest points in all their lives, and pointing out that they worked hard but ultimately all died before their desired world peace came out. Pein, his frail body giving out after the harsh repercussions of their acts and the ten-tail's chakra. Konan, destroyed by the people who were supposed to be loyal to her... So far, they had just known about their eventual deaths, plus many other lives, pointlessly spent. Maybe if they knew _everything_ there was to know, not just what the four had decided on telling the criminals to keep the storyline intact until they figured out what to do.

Zena shook her head, realizing that she had zoned out while watching Konan, whose previous warm look was reduced to an odd tilt.

"Oh, um... Is Zetsu-san going to get to eat as well?" She finally asked, taking another bite from her meal.

"Mm, he'll take care of it. Don't worry, even though you've kind of spoiled him, he's capable of procuring a meal for himself." Konan assured the brunette, finishing off her meal. She waved the waitress back over, ordering two steaming cups of green tea before paying for the two meals and tipping Nari-san.

Zena relaxed and finished her late dinner, stretching her arms over her head. "Konan-san, I just wanted to say..."

Konan's eyes drifted back over to the mousy brunette as she took a sip of the warm tea. It spread through her body, warming her core and making her fingers feel better. "Hmm?"

"...Um, thank you for the meal." She finished too quickly, bowing her head slightly.

Konan waved at the girl's untouched cup, ignoring her thanks. "Drink."

"Ah, um- okay..." Zena agreed, taking the tea and blowing across the surface softly. Once she was satisfied it had cooled enough, she took a slow sip, savoring the taste of the mixture. Refreshed, she sighed contentedly, relaxing. "This place is amazing."

Konan made a noise of assent, lowly adding, "I'm glad you like it."

Eventually draining their cups, the two women exited the small shop into a colder rain than before. Zena suppressed a shiver as a drop rolled down her neck and into her shirt. She wanted more than anything to curl up with a nice pillow and sleep like the dead.

For a brief moment, she thought of wrapping herself around Zetsu's long limbs and falling asleep against his chest. _Zena_ , _get it together._ She smacked her cheeks a few times, bouncing to catch up with Konan's slightly longer stride.

The trip back to the inn was blessedly short, and Zena almost squealed in delight as they exited the rain once more. "I can be cold. I can be wet. I _cannot_ be cold _and_ wet." She practically hissed, rubbing her arms back in the sanctity of their rented room.

She didn't forget to notice that Zetsu was still in the corner, however, he had moved to a different corner, his back into the nook and his legs stretched toward the fire. _Like vines toward the sun,_ she thought briefly before Konan's voice brought her back to attention.

"It wasn't that bad," Konan chided, "You need to get used to it. Besides, tomorrow isn't going to be much bet-" She caught the anguished look on Zena's face, her voice falling as she closed off her remark, " _-ter."_

Zena groaned for perhaps the millionth time in the last 24 hours, pressing the heel of her palms into her eye sockets. "Why is Pein such a cruel being?" She practically wailed.

A crack of lightning was her response.

Konan giggled, "Pein-sama said, 'suck it'."

Zetsu snorted, confirming that he wasn't, in fact, dead, as Zena had assumed upon seeing his perfectly still form.

"I'm going to bed." She grumbled, stalking toward the bed closest to the bathroom. She fell face-first onto the mattress, almost immediately falling into a dreamless slumber.

"Alright," Zena chirped, energy and enthusiasm renewed from her sleep. "Which way to the... Um... Place?" She asked the name Jiraiya had given slipping her mind. "To see the... woman?" She offered lamely.

Zetsu gave her a strange look before Konan spoke, "The Saku Hana, and we're going to see Bloss- err, Ayame-san."

"Right." Zena agreed, looking around. "Which way is it?"

"Hm, the center of town..." Konan trailed off. Zena watched her for a moment, a look of realization flashing across her face before the ire kicked in. "The red-light _district_ ," she hissed, "I hate that part of town."

Zena looked at Zetsu, confused. "Hm? The what?"

Zetsu scoffed and looked at her. "The red light—" Zena gave him an innocent look and he flushed. "Never mind. We'll get you a blindfold."

Konan shook her head slightly, taking the lead.

Zena wondered what exactly they meant. She was ditzy, but not dumb. She hadn't made the connection yet, and when the revelation dawned on her, it was in the form of a skimpily dressed woman sliding across the alleyway, tossing a pitiful glance to the innocent looking brunette.

" _Ohhh,_ " Zena whispered, "Duh. I used to be a... Never mind, that was a long time ago." She flushed, hoping that either had heard her words.

"Here we are," Konan saved her form awkward silence, coming to a stop in front of a gaudy looking building, painted in pink petals. "Saku Hana it is."

They entered, immediately flanked by a pair of money-hungry women. "What can we do for you tonight?" They chorused, leaning a tad too close for comfort. Zena edged away, practically using the scary plant man as a shield from the busty blondes.

"We're here for Ayame-san." Konan briefly informed the pair. "Where can we find her?"

They exchanged a look, "Unfortunately, hon, Ayame-chan is with another client right now. Perhaps you'll have someone else, then?"

Konan cleared her throat, leveling her cold gaze on the women. "The Toad sent us."

Their entire demeanors immediately shifted. The girl on the left nodded, and the one on the right ushered the three towards the back rooms. "Mistress-chan is through here."

Through the curtain, a young woman sat, barely covered in red and black patterned silk. Her raven locks spilling down her back and across her shoulders like ink, she looked as if she were in her in the late twenties, her flesh still taught and her form still lean. It seemed the only skin she didn't feel comfortable baring was her hands, as she wore a pair of elbow-length black silk gloves, her fingers gracefully holding a long cigarette stick, smoke billowing across the room. The woman didn't bother sparing a glance at her visitors.

"Hmm, the toad sent, you eh?" She asked, not waiting for a response. "What do you need? Make it quick, I've got an appointment."

Zena stepped in front of her, her nerves shaking her hands in a slight tremble. This carried through to her voice as she choked out the words.

"Ex-excuse us for our intrusion, Miss Ayame." She knelt in front of the almost naked woman. "We've come seeking information of an extremely rare kekkei Genkai. Jiraiya of the Toads sent us as a favor."

The woman finally glanced at the intruders, immediately stiffening in recognition. "Akatsuki."

Konan nodded once.

"Interesting...Then, what is your name, young one?"

Zena's lips felt chapped and she gazed onto the beautiful woman, temporarily mesmerized. "Zena."

"Zena, hmm." Ayame tasted to name, rolling it off her tongue a few times, before finally asking, "You must mean the shokuton, then?"

Zena nodded dumbly, entranced. "The shokuton, yes."

Ayame swallowed, looking over the girl once more. "And what brings you to inquire about it?"

"She wields it." Zetsu finally spoke, drawing the attractive woman's attention.

"Now?" She asked, admiring the odd, though handsome, man for a moment.

"Um, I don't know what happened. It was just sudden..."

Ayame cracked a grin, "As much as I'd like to help you, it's simply impossible that what you used was the shokuton."

"How?' Zena asked, summoning her courage and raising her voice.

Ayame scoffed, "The last user of that kekkei tota died. 23 years ago."

Zena shook her head, standing up suddenly. A flash of amazement crossed Ayame's face for a split second, but she wiped it away, carefully watching the young kunoichi was she sprung to her feet.

"I have nothing else." Zena cried, "I don't know what brought me here, but this power is connected. My family is gone, my life is a complete lie... Ayame-san, I beg you. Please, anything you could tell me would help."

Taking pity, Ayame nodded once, hesitantly. "I'll give you my knowledge. But," she paused, a wicked smile appearing across her face. "You have to fight me for it."

_Oh fu-_ Zena's voice cut off her thoughts, unbidden and sure. "Okay."

Zetsu and Konan remained silent, watching the events unfold.

"Meet me in the back of the building," Ayame ordered, waving them away.

The floozies from before returned, escorting the trio to the rainy street and depositing them underneath a covered portion of the street. It was only wide enough to fit Zena's small frame, so the two ninjas stood in the downpour.

Moments later, Ayame appeared in the middle of the road, now donning a set of nice combat gear, her long gloves still present. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek tie at the nape of her neck, and she nodded at Zena to come.

Facing off against the woman, Zena's earlier confidence was shredded. She was beautiful in all forms, sleek and deadly, like a viper. She struck quick, aiming a blow towards Zena's middle.

Zena took it in full force, an 'oof' leaving her upon impact.

The beautiful kunoichi didn't let up but held her full strength back.

Zetsu stepped forward, but Konan held her arm out in front of him. "Watch."

Ayame didn't want to seriously hurt the girl, but to confirm the girl's claim, she needed to be pushed. Her plan wasn't to injure the girl but to barrage her and back her into a corner, helpless and desperate.

Another punch rained down on the weak girl, whipping her head back with a sting. She hissed, wiping her mouth. Before she could process the blood across her palm, another kick connected, knocking the air out of her once more.

Zena felt... truly pathetic. She couldn't defend herself, and she knew the other woman was just playing with her. Why would she subject herself to something so idiotic? So much pain, and for what? A few pieces of what would probably be worthless information?

She felt Konan's and Zetsu's eyes on her, and she could only imagine that they were filled with pity and disappointment.

The though enraged her. How could she be so foolish?

She howled, blocking the blow Ayame was aiming for her sore stomach with renewed power. Her hand shot up and vine sprouted from the ground, wrapping around Ayame's limbs.

Ayame, instead of cowering, threw her head back in a fit of relieved laughter. "Yes!"

Zena froze. "Yes?"

"The _Shokuton."_ Ayame cheered.

As soon as the vines sprouted, they retracted back into the ground. Zena stared at her hands, amazed. _Shokuton._

Ayame led them inside once more, her arm wrapped tightly around Zena's as she animatedly babbled.

They were once again in her chamber, though this time they sat on a pair of sofas, which had gone unnoticed before. For a few minutes, Ayame healed Zena's injuries as she chatted about the interior decor, ignoring the tense girl beside her.

One of Ayame's underlings brought them a kettle full of tea, and Ayame graciously poured drinks for each of her guests, before turning back to Zena once more.

"Legends tell of a forsaken clan, long ago lost. The clan wasn't particularly large, but they possessed a frightening Jutsu, they wielded the power to control the plants comprising mother nature around us. Shokuton, the power that ultimately destroyed their livelihood.." Ayame leaned toward the coffee table, where a potted orchid bloomed. Her delicate fingertips brushed across the blossoming flower. "They were brought down by fearful villagers and jealous shinobi. Their compound burning into ash, two young girls escaped. One with the ability to use this kekkei tota, and one without." She paused, her hand drifting back down to her lap. The flower's leaves, as if they were reaching back out for her touch, coiled toward Ayame's finger.

She didn't explain the odd display, but she did continue her tale, waving for another of her minions forward. This one held a pack of cigarettes and lit one, before passing the smoking little roll of tobacco to her mistress.

Ayame took a long drag off of the stick, pausing in her retelling of the two girls' tale finding their way across the country to this very building, where they grew older together until they met an older branch clan relative, who brought them back and accepted them into the compound.

There, the shokuton user flourished, and her sister fell deeply in love with one of the branch members. They wed and created a beautiful baby girl. The mother died in childbirth, but she managed to see her child once before her life was gone.

The child was extraordinary. Unlike any before her, her tie to her mother sprang a small yellow daisy, eventually wilting and withering away. The clan elders were ecstatic, calling in a fuinjutsu specialist to seal away the full strength of her powers until she was strong enough to properly use them.

Ayame never spoke any of the characters in her tale's name, but the tense, raw emotion behind her words gave the three a sense that she was very close to this story.

"The fuinjutsu specialist sealed up her powers... But he didn't do the same for his lips. The secret of a child capable of controlling flora... well, that's something special, isn't it?" She put her cigarette out, snuffing it into a glass tray. The cigarette- lady cleaned up the mess and stepped back again, awaiting her next order. "Somewhere out there, some twisted soul wanted death. He tracked down the source of the rumors, the original sealer. They..." She gulped, clenching her fist. "Like with the first compound, the Ame branch was slaughtered, their compound burned to ash. Like with the first compound, I escaped."

She slowly began pulling the long gloves off of her hands, gently tugging at each finger. "I don't know what the intention of this man was, presumably to kill off this kekkei tota... But," she finally finished her task, laying the long pieces across her lap. "The man used some strange technique on my sister's husband. He was fighting once second... And the next he was screaming, this terrible howl. He... collapsed in front of me, and the man took my niece. I..." She swallowed, emotions rising. "I blacked out and... when I came to, everything was burning. My sister's husband hadn't yet died, and he held his still daughter in his arms. I remember crawling toward them... and the fire consumed them. I came to again, I dug through the smoldering cinders of what was once my sister's husband, searching for the legacy of our clan." She held her scarred hands up, flesh slickened and shiny with scar tissue. Horrible, unbearable burns from her frantic scrambling through piles upon piles of still-burning wood and hot coal. A tiny tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and for a moment, unspeakable agony flashed in her eyes.

Zena swallowed back her tears, glancing at Zetsu and Konan, who were stoic and silent.

Ayame sighed, her face returning to her sly smirk, her earlier torment a distant memory. "I was alone. For decades. Zena, you... you're connected to me. I can feel it within you. I want to... I want to train you." She admitted, sitting up with renewed vigor.

Konan made a noise and Zetsu sat forward.

"Train me?" Zena asked. "Like... the shokuton..."

Ayame nodded. "Correct. This is indeed the shokuton. Aside from that, your friends have been under genjutsu since you stepped foot in here. It didn't work on you, a sign from above."

Zena glanced at her companions again, looking closer. They were oddly spaced out, and they didn't seem to put up much of a fight when Ayame was unleashing her fury on Zena's poor stomach. Maybe they were under a genjutsu.

Ayame reached out to touch the orchid again. "This is one of the powers of the Shokuton. This flower is the source. The pollen particles in the air have this Jutsu laced in them. Anyone who breathes in the spores is immediately in my trap."

Zena made a noise of revelation, "But I'm... not."

Ayame shook her head. "I thought you were at first but you proved me wrong. You truly do wield the shokuton, and as such, I am confident in my belief that somehow, you are my niece."

Zena felt a tear slip from her eye. "I wish I could prove it further... More than speculation, I wish there was a way to truly know."

Ayame shook her head, "I do not need proof. I told you, I can feel it. Coursing and thriving in you. You are Zinea Kiso."

_Zinea._

Ayame suddenly released the two ninjas from her genjutsu, and they seemed to snap awake, alert, and _very_ confused.

Konan stood up, turning her glare on Ayame.

Zena stood as well, stepping between the raven-haired woman and her comrades. "Stop! It's okay!"

"She beat the crap out of you!" Shiro protested, his voice backed by Black Zetsu's low growl.

"I said it was okay!" Zena snapped, throwing her arms wide. "She is my aunt."

"That doesn't change anything," Konan said, her tone flat and lethal.

The brunette gave Konan a level look. "Stand down!"

Konan stepped back, but Zetsu's piercing gaze was still on the raven-haired beauty.

"Zetsu." Zena quietly pleased. "Just stop. I'm okay. She was testing me."

He 'hmph-ed' and stepped back, still staring at Ayame.

Zena turned to her newfound relative and bowed politely. "My apologies."

Ayame nodded and Zena sat back down, gazing at the plant. "I accept your proposal."


	21. A Proper Sacrifice

The strange ninjas were brought back to the grassy village, escorted by Smoke shinobi. The gray-clad men poofed into smoke and drifted away in the wind.

Deidara carried the tired girls to the base on the back of his clay birds, and Sakana watched the town disappear over the horizon, it's small buildings and houses shrinking as their journey home progressed. She gazed down at the patterned fields and let out a low sigh.

"Is everything alright, Sakana-chan?" Zena's soft voice asked and the white-haired girl was drawn out of her thoughts.

The brunette's large, pale yellow eyes were concerned and caring. Sakana nodded, "Just... thinking about everything that's happened these past few days." she admitted, a sheepish grin spreading across her face.

Zena nodded, "It's a lot... And it leaves a lot of questions... Namely, why?"

She had effortlessly taken the words from the redhead's mouth. Sakana nodded again, mute.

"Perhaps that's something you can pray for," Zena suggested hopefully. "Maybe your God will give you answers."

Maybe. Sakana scoffed internally. She didn't have reason to doubt Jashin, he was a god.

The Jashinist didn't voice her thoughts and let the rest of the windy ride to their home pass in silence. It was nearly dusk as they landed on the road close to the base, and Deidara's clay birds once again flew into the air and exploded.

Sasori made a noise of disapproval. "Brat, those damn things could very well attract enemy ninja."

Deidara waved off Sasori's complaint, "It's alright, Danna. They'll just assume they're fireworks."

Sasori didn't say anything, but turned and led the twins toward the hideout, leaving the other three ninjas standing awkwardly in the middle of the path.

* * *

**Sakana**

Hours later, I sat in the training room, 90 minutes into a droning lesson about the importance of properly wielding a katana from a very patient weasel.

My eyes slid over to Kisame pleadingly. He shook his head fractionally and I felt my shoulders sag.

When I asked the pair to help me learn to use my sword, I was expecting some physical demonstrations, something I could tirelessly practice on.

"Sakana," Itachi's stern voice came, rising in volume. "You aren't listening."

"I am too!" I argued, totally not having heard what he had been saying for the last hour.

"Repeat my last statement, then."

I frowned, "Ehhh..."

Itachi's red eyes narrowed. "Ten laps, young lady."

I stood up, my legs sore from the other eleven sets he had already made me do. I groaned, straining, and took off at jog around the dimly lit training room.

The stench of sweat invaded my senses, and I couldn't tell if it was from myself or the well-used gym. Nevertheless, I ran, eventually completing my task and collapsing back into my previous spot on the floor, gasping for breath.

"You'll read this book and report its contents to me in three days," Itachi said, and I knew that inside his deep and broody exterior, he was enjoying the torture he was inflicting on me.

I deflated, and Kisame's voice cut in. "Don't worry, kid. We'll do some basic stances tomorrow as well."

I whooped lowly as Itachi quickly and quietly left the room, leaving the big blue shark man and me alone.

"He's so harsh," I complained as Kisame helped me stand up. My limbs felt like jelly.

"He's training you." Kisame corrected me. "Sure, he's working you hard, but he knows you have the potential to be a great kunoichi." He patted me on the head followed his partner from the training room. "After your chores, tomorrow. Meet me here."

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, waving the large man off. Letting out a deep breath, I stretched my burning muscles, ignoring their protests.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity later, I finally stalked into my bedroom and collapsed on my bed next to Hidan.

He wrinkled his nose. "You fucking stink, dude."

I sneered, "Fuck you."

"Not until you shower," He teased.

I felt my eyes practically roll out of my head. "You wish."

I felt him shrug, then nudge me. "Seriously, you're fucking rank."

"So sorry that damn weasel made me run every time he bored me," I grumbled.

Hidan laughed. "The Uchiha's working you, eh?"

I mumbled some violent threat under my breath and forced myself to get up from the bed and gather the necessary items required for a much-needed shower, ignoring Hidan's lewd comments and eventual anger at my refusal to acknowledge him.

I stuck my tongue out at him before leaving the room and hastily locking myself in the bathroom.

After the madness of the last few days, I deserved a few minutes to sit under the hot spray and collect my thoughts and feelings.

Afterward, I swore to myself, I'd figure out what Hidan and I could do about a well-needed sacrifice.

My connection to God wasn't quite like Hidan's, so I didn't understand how much the bloodlust consumed his mind, but I did get a nagging feeling in my gut after a few days without prayer.

The feeling was creeping up, twisting uncomfortably in my stomach. I quickly showered, forgetting my earlier resolve to stay in until my skin wrinkled. After toweling off and dressing in some loose clothes, I tip-toed back into my bedroom, bypassing my bed and Hidan, and slipped through the open door to his room.

He didn't say anything, but I heard him shift on my mattress and then fall into place behind me.

Without a word, we prepared the open space of his floor and I cut my thumb open. I felt the anticipation of Jashin's grace build up in my stomach as I began to trace the holy symbol on the cool floor.

He mirrored me and our blood mixed made a circle large enough for the both of us to sit and pray, each of us occupying a corner of the triangle nestled inside the ichor-made circle.

I cleared my head, breathing deeply and concentrating on inhaling air to the small of my back, already drifting into a peaceful state of meditation.

Hidan began quietly murmuring his prayer, and I joined in moments later, chorusing the words.

They came naturally, having heard them so many times, often quietly muttered through the open door between the Hidan's room and mine.

"Oh, Jashin, Lord of Darkness, God of Pain. Through our suffering, grant us power. Let our strength and knowledge of pain serve you. Hail Jashin, our guide. Blessed be."

As our voiced harmonized, I felt the familiar connection to the deity, my skin shifting to inky black as he recognized our joint blood offering.

Jashin-sama, I thought. I seek the answers. Please show me. I know I'm not great about bringing you souls, but I promise I'll do better.

There was no response, but I wasn't disheartened. I murmured the prayer closing and felt my skin tingle as it faded back to its pasty pallor.

Hidan was quiet.

I looked at him and he gave me a bored stare. "That wasn't enough. He needs more."

I nodded, knowing how he felt. The prayer hadn't done much to alleviate the gnawing pain in my gut.

"Let's go." His magenta eyes captured mine as he pulled me up, I stood and followed him to my room, where he slipped into his cloak, his chest still bare.

I touched my neck, feeling the absence of a rosary.

"I want one," I mumbled, poking the silver pendant swinging around his neck.

"I'll get one for you. So shut up and get your cloak. We're getting a sacrifice."

I nodded, wondering where the hell he would find a poor soul, let alone two for sacrifice. Muting my objections, I followed him through the hallways until we turned down a route I hadn't gone before. He led me deeper into the confusing maze of a house, through hallways and down a flight of stairs, winding through the base until we reached a tall metal door.

"What's this?" I asked, as Hidan placed his palm in the center of it and it slid open, revealing a hallway with cells lining the walls.

"It's the prisoner cells. Obviously." Hidan sighed, "You're pretty but you're dumb."

I stomped on his toe and walked past him, peering into the mostly empty cages. Hidan cursed at me for stepping on his bare foot, letting out a low stream of curses that gradually grew louder as I ignored him.

"-fucking asshole, really fucking hurt you bitch-" he hissed, "can't fucking believe this SHIT-" A whimper came from the cell nearest me, and I leaned closer to get a better look.

A pair of sunken eyes stared back at me, stopping me in my tracks.

The feeling in my gut grew, blood rushing to my ears. Kill it. Kill it for me. I need it. It's mine. Give me. Mine. Mine. killkillkill. Jashin's deep, sultry voice bid me, his voice flooding my senses, his want for the man's soul, the man's suffering, growing exponentially inside of me.

I pressed my palms over my ears at the piercing hiss.

Hidan knelt beside me, pulling me back up. He mouthed something, but I kept my hands glued to my ears. His hands pried mine off. "Sakana! Snap out of it!" He commanded, his voice high in anticipation for the sacrifice. "Hold out for a moment, yeah?"

I nodded dumbly, refusing to even turn in the direction of the soul. I was sickened by my own need to slaughter a (probably innocent) person, but at the same time, the sweet touch of Jashin's grace was just out of my line of sight.

"Pl… please." The man pleaded.

"Don't bother," Hidan called out as he was working on the circle in an adjacent cell, just wide enough to fit both of us.

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, biting down against another wave of Jashin's bloodthirsty urges. I tasted the thick bitterness of my blood and let out a low moan. "All mine."

Hidan's throat clearing brought me to my senses and I began moving mechanically, accepting the kunai he held in his outstretched palm and rounding on the starving prisoner.

"I hope your soul finds peace with Jashin," I whispered as I reached through the cell bars to grip his frail wrist. My hand easily enveloped it, wrapping around his sickly thin bone to nick open his skin. A small droplet of blood collected on the tip of the blade and I felt a smile split my face.

I tried to not look at the frightened man, but through the dim light, I could see the harsh lines of his face, starving and scared. I'm sorry, I thought as I carefully gave Hidan the kunai. He accepted the weapon gingerly, eyeing the fruits of my labor. "Not bad, kitten." He quietly said, before offering his hand to me.

I didn't spare the man another glance as I dropped my cloak at my feet, stepping into the blessed circle.

Immediately, the roaring in my veins died down to a low tug and before I knew it, I was knelt and whispering my prayer of offering.

I lifted my head and opened my eyes, watching as Hidan's tongue swiped across the tip of the blade, collecting the blood.

He pulled me to him and kissed me, sharing the taste of the man's blood between our mouths.

The taste was sweet, yet bitter. I swirled it around on my tongue and picked up the kunai that Hidan had discarded.

Upon opening my eyes, I could see the manic glee in his eyes, but there was something else in those beautiful magenta orbs.

Pride, I realized. I felt myself swelling with emotion as I slowly lifted the blade and inspected it, before plunging it into my stomach. Hidan gasped and chuckled, and I felt him prod his fingers into the new wound we shared.

It pulsed as he poked and prodded, and I almost doubled over from the pleasure.

Part of me felt sorry for the withering old man, but the voice inside of me assured his soul would rest peacefully with my God, and all things considered, death was an eternal solace for him.

I closed my eyes and prayed.

* * *

An hour after closing the ritual and leaving Hidan to dispose of the... corpse, I found myself in the training room once more. My mind felt clearer and I felt stronger, no doubt the most interesting part of Jashinism. Hidan hadn't explained that aspect to me, or perhaps I'd been too enamored by his excitement that I'd just ignored it. Either way, it was strange, yet I felt as if I could do anything.

Itachi sat across from me, intently studying me. I had interrupted his daily 'medication' session with Kira, and as such, the Uchiha was behaving differently.

"Tell me, Sakana. How does the Kogitsune-maru feel?" Itachi asked, steepling his fingers beneath his chin.

"Uh," I began, gingerly picking up the blade from its place on my lap, "Alright?"

He shook his head fractionally. "How does it _feel_?" He enunciated.

"Like a sword." I snarked. "How is supposed to feel?"

"A swordsman-"

"- _Woman-_ "

"-Must," Itachi shot me a glare, "feel the connection to their blade. It must be an extension of yourself."

I made a noise. I'd heard that before, but I'd never understood it. It felt light in my hand, but I certainly couldn't _feel_ the blade.

"I don't get it," I sighed, and Itachi let out an irritated grunt.

"Up," he commanded, and I clambered to my feet. "Close your eyes. Breathe."

I nodded and maneuvered my limbs into Chūdan-no-kamae as Itachi had taught me, closing my eyes and breathing.

"Try to meditate, as you'd do for your rituals." He instructed.

I breathed out, low and slow. Within a few moments, I felt calmness flood over my restlessness. "Hai."

"Now concentrate on your katana."

It felt different, but not by much. I shifted the handle in my palms and slid my feet out a bit more.

"How does it feel?"

"Better."

"Hn. That's all for now." He said, stood up, and drifted past me, reaching up to pat my head. "Good job, Sakana. We'll continue tomorrow."

Sighing, I sheathed my sword and lugged it back to my room. I expected to see Hidan stretched out across my bed, but he wasn't in either of our rooms. I poked my head into the bathroom, but it was empty. I trudged back to my bed, assuming he'd been called away by Pein-sama, and that'd he be back in a few minutes, bitching up a storm.

That is, until Kakuzu barreled into my bedroom, breaking the door off its hinges in the process. "Sakana," he breathed, a slightly relieved look briefly crossing his masked face. "You need to report to Pein's office, _now."_


	22. The Battle of Akatsuki Hill

**Sakana**

I grabbed my sword and rushed to Pein's office, not even bothering to knock as I threw the door open.

A grim look was affixed to my brother's face, and his ringed eyes were fixed on the wall.

"What's going on?" I panted, trying to catch my breath. "Where's... Hidan?"

"It seems our base is no longer secure," he began.

"How in the hell did that happen?" I interrupted.

"Sakana." Pein's voice was stern, angry. "Our position was given away, perhaps one of you," his eyes flicked over my shoulder, and I was suddenly aware that Kira, Suki, and Zena were sat on the sofa by the door.

"Pein-sama," Sasori was at the door behind me. "There are too many."

Kira shifted, worry creasing her brow for a moment before it was replaced with confusion. "Too many what?"

"Who's attacking us?" Suki cried, standing up.

"Konoha." Pein sighed. I opened my mouth, but he fixed his "Hidan was sent to check the perimeter. He was attacked and incapacitated by a squad in the north quarter."

This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi, Konan, and Deidara are currently in the field," Pein informed us, pointing out their specific locations on the map. "We suspect that ANBU is after at least one of you. The plan is for each of you to meet up with a different team, as we are greatly outnumbered."

"What about Hidan?" I blurted again, obvious worry lacing my voice.

"You are going with Kakuzu to retrieve him. Since you are currently the strongest initiate, and due to your immortality, you should be able to handle it." I opened my mouth to object, but he continued, "The three of you will accompany Sasori through our underground tunnels, he will deposit each of you in position for pick-up by your squads. Any more questions?"

I glanced at each of the others, exchanging a weary look before all replying, "No, Pein-sama."

"Hm. Dismissed." He said, waving us all away. "Sakana, one more moment." Sasori led Kira, Suki, and Zena out of the office and the door clicked shut behind them.

Feeling that I was about to be chastised for insubordination in front of the others, I lowered my head and awaited the reaming out I was sure to get.

Instead, Pein stood and circled the desk, coming to a halt in front of me.

I looked up and noticed the troubled expression carved into his face. This was going to be a fight. He lifted a hand and ruffled the hair on top of my head. "Be careful, Saki."

* * *

Sasori led his wards through the winding tunnels, carefully disarming the myriad of traps and genjutsu he had set when they had established the main base. He had already handed Zena off to Zetsu, who was going to be traveling to the Amegakure base with Konan, Pein, and Tobi.

They were nearing the drop point for Suki- a hidden entrance in a cave, where Kisame was waiting for Suki. Itachi would be fighting off hordes of the ninja in the main base by now, but he'd no doubt finish his task and regroup with his partner soon. He helped the small woman

That left his escape with Kira. The brat was flying somewhere above the base, dropping his handmade bombs across the battlefield on unsuspecting shinobi. Sasori could feel the subtle quakes upon the detonation of each explosive.

Kira was clinging rather close to him, but he could only assume that if he asked, he'd be met with the redhead's indignant temper, something he'd rather not bother with at the time.

They trudged on, to one of the further exits of the tunnels. The further from the battle they were when they escaped, the safer Kira would be.

Sasori didn't realize that he'd made a mistake until a second before he was struck with a barrage of kunai. He quickly pushed himself in front of Kira and blocked the razor-sharp knives from hurting her.

"Sasori," she grunted, and he turned around to face her. A thin trickle of blood trailed down her cheek and he internally cursed himself. She's been cut by one of his kunai.

Quickly rummaging through the pouch at his side, he withdrew a needle and swiftly injected it into Kira's forearm, administering the antidote to the fast-acting poison he'd coated the kunai in before setting the trap. "Wha?" She slurred, the effects of the lethal toxins already activating in her brain.

"The antidote to the poison currently coursing through your veins. You'll be okay, you'll just be rather drowsy."

"Mhm, I already feel that," Kira replied, leaning against the tunnel wall.

Sasori picked her up and continued on their trek through the dim, murky halls.

* * *

Kakuzu got me through the thicket of the battlefield relatively unharmed. I had a shuriken sticking out of my ass, but I was otherwise fine.

In a clearing in the woods, we found Hidan's body. Cut into pieces. There was blood everywhere.

His legs were running around in circles, stomping up a cloud of dust. His arms were working their way towards his torso, which was discarded in a bush, but his head was nowhere to be seen.

"Looking for something?" A voice called, and I found myself craning my neck to see a person standing in a tree, tossing a ball from hand to hand.

Upon closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't a ball at all, but instead, it was my boyfriend's head. A makeshift gag was stuffed into his mouth.

"Well?" The person asked, jumping down from the tree. "Is this yours?"

"Hatake Kakashi," Kakuzu said, and I was suddenly aware that the silver-haired jonin was indeed in front of us, gingerly holding out Hidan's head as if it were a lost toy.

"Kakuzu," Kakashi replied cooly. "Listen I'll be willing to make a trade with you. Your friend here," Hidan made a muffled noise of anger from Kakashi's rough treatment, "for the girl."

Kakuzu rolled his motley eyes, "Yeah, you can just keep him."

"Dude!" I cried, "That's my _boyfriend._ "

Kakuzu gave me a dry look. "I'd sell him for one yen. No, I'd _give_ somebody one yen to take him."

"Kakuzu," I growled.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Kakashi asked, his tone intrigued.

"Whatever," Kakuzu replied to me, ignoring the notorious Leaf Nin. "She's staying with us, and I'll be taking my partner back."

Kakashi didn't reply, only moving to tie Hidan's hair to his hip, as if the head were a bell for his test. If the situation were different, I'd find it endlessly hilarious... But considering the circumstances, I held my smile back.

Hidan shot me a glare, which I ignored as Kakuzu was suddenly on the offensive, rushing the jonin with his Earth Grudge Fear. As his inky black tendrils sped toward Kakashi, Kakuzu wrapped an arm around my waist and teleported me to the side. "Wait here, brat." He grumbled, making a few clones of himself. The five Kakuzus each ran a different way, each and every one of them leaving me alone in the forest to piece Hidan back together. Well... Mostly.

I sighed, knowing the set-up already. Poor defenseless girl, big bad ninjas trying to take her away. And her only means of protection at the moment were a pair of legs stumbling around blindly and the dumb miser who left her in the woods alone.

"Yeah you're so fucking smart, Kakuzu," I bitched, knowing he couldn't hear me. I followed the trail of gore, picking up random bits and pieces of... Hidan. His bloody was drying and tacky, and I tried not to gag as I carried as much of him as I could.

I could feel the ninja's chakra flare and stopped in my tracks. "I don't want to fight you, but right now I need to put my boyfriend back together," I said, turning to face my opponent.

It was an ANBU, their mask a tiger. They remained silent, only drawing a sword and pointing it straight at me.

Kogitsune-maru throbbed at my side, and I almost face-palmed for forgetting my blade. "Sorry Hidan," I mumbled, dropping the pieces of his body to draw my sword. "Tiger-san, I don't want to fight you. Let me leave."

Still, the black ops agent remained silent, charging at me with the blade. I parried with Kogitsune-maru, sending him flying back a few feet.

Relentless, he charged me again, this time using a Jutsu to shake the earth as he jumped. Shaken, I battled him, kicking and clawing against his ferocious form.

Drawing from my numerous training sessions with Itachi, I held him off. Perhaps the Uchiha's methods weren't as dumb as I gave him credit for.

Even though I had managed to hold my own for a few moments, the masked ANBU had years and years of experience on me. Even with Kogitsune-maru, I was quickly overpowered and backed into a corner.

Tiger mask finally spoke, only to say one word, "Surrender."

I growled, flaring my nostrils. "Never."

He didn't make a noise as he suddenly lunged ar me.

My world darkened.

* * *

**Zena**

Tobi helped me out of the narrow shaft and drug me to my feet. "Zena-chan! There are bad guys!"

"Where's Zetsu?"

"Fightin' em. I'm supposed to take you away." He explained.

I nodded, "How do we get out of here?"

An explosion sounded nearby and I flinched. Tobi ruffled my hair. "Not to worry, Zena-chan! Tobi knows how to get away in a jiffy!"

He grabbed my hand and in seconds, we warped away. Now miles from the hideout, I could still hear the sounds of fighting- Jutsu going off, Deidara's explosions. Screams. I shivered and let Tobi lead me further away from the place I had called home.

* * *

**Suki**

Kisame hefted me onto his shoulder, and I nestled into a comfortable spot. "Hang on, Princess," he rasped, craning his neck to press a quick kiss to my cheek. I smiled and returned the chaste kiss.

"Now to meet up with Itachi and blow this popsicle stand," I said determinedly.

Kisame chuckled and carried us out of the cave. Itachi was probably mowing through swarms of leaf nin by now.

We were on the battlefield in minutes, Kisame easily wiping out any stray enemy that accosted us. It was gruesome, and gory, and _oh so hot._ I was drooling over Kisame's bloodthirst when he stumbled to a stop.

"What is it?"

"Itachi," Kisame said, and I followed his gaze.

Itachi was currently outnumbered, heaving with exertion. He was... Losing.

Itachi Uchiha was being overwhelmed in battle. "DO SOMETHING!" I shouted, and Kisame startled, hissing at me to shut up. I ignored him and continued egging Uchiha on. "FUCKING USE AMATERASU OR SOMETHING!"

A black flame suddenly flared, spreading around Itachi in a circle.

Unfortunately, my shouting didn't go unnoticed. Half of the enemies in the field were now on us, circling around Kisame and me.

"Shit."

* * *

**Kira**

Sasori carried me through the damp halls. He hadn't said anything, and every time I tried to start up a conversation, he quieted me.

"Sasori-Kun," I drawled, "I can't feel my ass."

He didn't respond, shifting my weight on his shoulder.

The puppet master continued carrying me for a while until he finally stopped and set me down gently.

I was drowsy like he said I'd be. I closed my eyes for a second and Sasori roughly jostled me. "Don't sleep."

"Ah so finally he speaks."

"Kira, you're not yourself."

"Of course I'm myself," I snorted. "I'm me, who else would I be?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to sleep, I just closed my eyes." I finally replied.

Sasori picked me up again. "Fine."

"Fine."

Silence overtook us again as we continued on. After a few moments, Sasori spoke again, "Continue speaking to me."

I snorted. "Don't tell me what to do. You're not my boss, you're just my fake boyfriend."

It was Sasori's turn to snort.

"What's funny?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I am not your 'boyfriend'," he replied nonchalantly.

I felt my heart drop, but I swallowed the heartache. "That's why I said 'fake'."

Sasori didn't reply and I bit my lip. So he was supposed to love me, but somewhere in his twisted mind, it was okay that he didn't.

So much for true love.

I didn't speak to him much after that, finding the ceiling of the tunnel suddenly interesting. He probably picked up on my dour mood because he didn't ask me to speak after that.

Hours after our journey through the tunnel began, we came up from the tunnel, surfacing in a cave.

Sasori carried us out into the dusk.

* * *

**Suki**

Kisame fought hard.

But given the sheer number of enemies there were, I couldn't blame him for dropping me.

That being said, I was totally and completely _screwed_.

Itachi was still struggling somewhere to my left, Kisame was circling around me, fighting off the many attackers. Somewhere during the fight, he was disarmed and Samehada was discarded in the dirt.

One of the ANBU rushed Kisame while his back was turned and I cried out a warning a second to late- he was impaled with the blade and a shrill scream tore from my throat.

Itachi was by Kisame's side in a second, slicing through the second and third enemies that rushed them. I was tackled to the side and met Itachi's eyes for a second.

'Go,' I mouthed, and Itachi nodded. The duo was gone, leaving me alone with the swaths of Konoha Black Ops.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short one and I really didn't have anywhere to leave it at besides there. There will be more up soon! I hope you enjoy, and if you do leave a comment for me to let me know what I can be doing better. Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~MistressOfRedClouds


	23. Running, Running, and More Running

**Hey guys! I hope this extra-long chapter makes up for the cliffhangers and lack of updates!**

* * *

**Sakana**

* * *

I woke in a small square room, the length on long enough for me to lay down. A pair of threadbare sheets were piled in the corner. There was a small metal bucket in the corner of the room, I could only assume to serve as my means of 'relieving' myself.

I shuddered, rejecting the idea. Sitting in the corner of the cold room, I resolved myself to only speak to Tsunade. If my theory was correct, she wanted us here for a very specific reason, and once I gave her what she wanted, I could go back to Akatsuki.

I hoped.

In all actuality, Konoha still hated the Akatsuki. And why shouldn't they? Akatsuki was after world peace, but the path they were on was wrong. Nothing I could say to Pein would change that.

My body was sore as if someone had crudely poked me with a needle all over. I could only hope that it was a sign that Kakuzu had gotten Hidan all fixed up. In that case, I was happy about the feeling.

For several hours I sat with my thoughts, mentally waging war against myself. Eventually, the giant metal door creaked open, and I was joined in the small cell.

Ibiki Morino stood in front of me in all of his towering, menacing glory.

"Morino Ibiki," I said, craning my neck to look at him. "I request an audience with the Godaime Hokage."

He chuckled. "Akatsuki filth do not make requests."

"Am I wearing Akatsuki garb?" I asked, knowing full well I had only been wearing black training pants and a T-shirt when we had been attacked.

"You have Akatsuki tattooed on your shoulder," he informed me.

_Oh yeah._ I grimaced. "You were tipped off by the toad sage, correct? Then surely he told you that I have valuable knowledge."

Morino wasn't phased. "Information that I can and will take from you."

"Try as you might," I deadpanned. "But I won't spill until I am sure my knowledge will be safe." I crossed my arms and sniffed, adding, "with Tsunade."

Wordlessly, the top ANBU interrogator hauled me to my feet and led me through the dim stone corridors. He eventually came to a stop in front of one of the many identical metal doors. We were in one of the interrogation chambers, a small table and two chairs situated in the middle. A single light hung over the center of the table, I supposed to intimidate me.

"Your name, girl," Ibiki grumbled.

"Bite me," I replied.

"How is that spelled?" He retorted.

"G-O F-U-C-K Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F." I enunciated.

Ibiki slammed a fist on the table. "Don't act tough with me, girl."

"I _am_ tough," I replied, "At least more than you give me credit for. I only ask one thing in return for all the information in my brain and you still don't seem to be understanding."

Ibiki crossed his arms again, glowering at me.

"I'll bite my tongue off before I speak to you. I don't want to talk to Danzo. I want to talk to Tsunade. I get it, he's your boss and all, but he's deplorable and none of my knowledge will be given to him."

Ibiki watched me for a few moments more, silent and brooding. He reminded me of Kakuzu a tad bit, and I decided that I liked the big guy.

"Morino-san," I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. "I know where your brother is."

He didn't budge, still staring at me silently.

"You are a no-nonsense type of guy," I sighed. "Fine. Do what you want."

So he did.

* * *

Kira

Sasori, Deidara, and I traveled northeast, further away from our home and my sister.

I made minimal conversation with Deidara but didn't speak to Sasori. I was still hurt by the things he'd said a few days before. What did I expect, agreeing to be involved in his dumb social experiment? He was testing me, messing with my head just to see what it'd do.

I hated him but I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him and exist.

My life was a contradiction.

"Hey, so what's going on with you and Danna, hm?" Deidara asked one morning, while Sasori was out procuring supplies. We had taken up residence in a small two-bedroom cabin deep in the Ame forest, close enough to a small village to stay for a while.

I was scrambling eggs in the kitchen, and Deidara was perched on the counter, drinking coffee. "Nothing is going on," I replied, frowning.

"Yeah, exactly, hm," the blonde replied. "I thought there was a thing."

"I thought so too," I snapped, dumping the eggs into a bowl for him. "But your Danna isn't interested. I can't force him to feel the same way I do, and he's incapable of feeling, so... Nothing is going on."

I stalked into my room, hearing his 'yeesh' as I left.

Sasori probably couldn't grasp the concept of love, so the whole idea that he was supposed to be my 'soul mate' was so ridiculous.

I missed Suki. She'd know what to say. She'd know what to do. But we hadn't had any contact with the others. We hadn't even contacted Pein yet.

Plopping myself onto the bed, I lit the end of the cone of canna and began manipulating the smoke. It circled in whisps like a miniature tornado, concentrating more and more as the cone burned out until I eventually inhaled the vapor and held my breath.

I sighed for the millionth time, hating the overwhelming feeling of ickiness that shrouded me. The smoke fanned out, dissipating into the corners of the small room.

Feeling overwhelmed, I crawled under the blanket on my bed. Slowly, the side effects of the canna had me drifting away into a dreamless sleep.

Sometime later, a knock sounded on the door, waking me from my nap. I sat up and glanced out the window- several hours had passed by the way the dreary forest landscape had dimmed.

It was probably Deidara coming to check if I'm alright. "Yeah," I called, "what is it?"

The door creaked open, but I didn't bother looking.

"Dinner is ready," Sasori's voice softly informed me.

"I'll pass," I droned, pulling the blanket closer around me. "Feed it all to Deidara."

"You haven't eaten today, Kira." Sasori was suddenly at the side of my bed, ripping my blanket off of me.

"Hey!" I shouted, reaching for the warm quilt. He held it out of my reach.

"You need to eat," Sasori sternly commanded, his brow furrowing.

"Who are you to tell me what I need?" I bit out, anger rise in my tone. "Last I checked you don't give a shit about me!"

Sasori faltered, dropping the blanket. "Fine," he snapped as he turned and stormed from the bedroom. "Stay in here and starve."

"It's better than being with you," I replied to his retreating form.

God damn it, I hate myself.

* * *

**Kakuzu**

If they weren't in such deep shit with Pein, Kakuzu would shred Hidan back into tiny little pieces and leave him for the wolves.

After Kakuzu had battled ferociously with Kakashi, the bastard had the nerve to disappear, leaving no trace of himself or their precious kitten anywhere. Kakuzu was left to search through the forest for his partner's gory pieces.

After gathering up as much of his as Kakuzu could- namely the large parts like arms, legs, and the torso, Kakuzu retreated with his gruesome luggage to the base in the land of Wind.

Currently, that base was a cave that protected him against the battering breeze and the slinging sand.

Kakuzu hated the Wind country almost as much as he hated the beheaded Hidan as the miser stitched him back together. Hidan would jerk and twitch as Kakuzu sewed him back together, and for once Kakuzu was enjoying spending time with Hidan.

It was quiet and calm, and the two main causes of his stress were currently in the hands of his enemies.

...Right.

After finishing the job, Kakuzu tied Hidan's headless body to himself and contacted Pein.

He knelt in the presence of his _very_ angry leader and delivered his report. The mission failed, the kitten was taken by Konoha. As was Hidan's head.

Pein was furious, of course. Kakuzu wasn't too surprised by that, rather annoyed that now he'd have to trek back to Konoha to retrieve his two dumbasses and clean up any messes they'd made.

Each squad would be heading in the direction of Konoha after three days, and each would assist in infiltrating and retrieving Hidan and Sakana.

For the time being, Kakuzu only hoped that the kitten would be alright. Fuck Hidan.

* * *

**Sakana**

Ibiki was especially interested in the quick regeneration of my wounds, continuously cutting me open and watching me bleed.

"Surely you're an experiment of Orochimaru's?" He asked, wiping away the small stream of my blood flowing down my side.

"Nope," I replied, popping my lips.

"Hmm..." he murmured, poking at me with a needle. "Fascinating."

"Ouch," I growled.

He continued the barrage of tests; taking a biopsy of my skin and inspecting it under a microscope, breaking the bones in my hand and watching them heal, eventually settling on repeatedly slicing the same wound open.

"What is Akatsuki's plan?" He asked, his movements halting.

"Nunya," was my response.

"Where have the members of Akatsuki gone?" Ibiki urged, resuming his task.

I winced, gritting my teeth. "I don't know."

"What is your name?" He asked again.

"Bob Saget," I gritted out.

He set down the scalpel and let my skin heal before pulling my shirt down. "Why do you support Akatsuki's cause?"

"Because they're cool and they offered me cupcakes," I replied, crossing my arms.

"I admire your refusal to give in, fine. Tomorrow you'll get a _brief_ audience with Tsunade. You will be cuffed and chakra-bonded, and you will _behave._ " He informed me. "This is the deal I will give you, granted you tell me one thing."

I bit my lip, considering my options.

"Think quick, girl. This is the closest you'll ever get to the Hokage. Decline and I may be liable to send you to research for more... experimentation."

"Fine." I agreed. "What do you want to know?"

"Your name." He bit out. "I just want your fucking name."

I sighed, "You're not gonna like it."

"Just tell me what your name is."

"Okay," I said and revealed my identity to him.

* * *

**Kira**

Sasori didn't speak to me until the day we were leaving the creaky cabin. I suppose it was fair, seeing as I didn't make an effort to speak to him either, choosing only to communicate with Deidara.

"Tell the brooding brat that it is time to pack up and leave," I heard Sasori grumble through the thin walls. A few moments later, Deidara was knocking on my door. He stepped in, raising an eyebrow at my already packed bags.

"I have ears, I can hear," I said, "Tell your precious Danna that I've been ready to leave since Pein issued the order."

Deidara shrugged and turned around, stalking away.

Whatever. Sasori only cares when he has something to gain from it.

We left shortly after, treading through the dead trees toward Konoha.

I envied Sakana. She was in Konoha, she was probably chummy with Tsunade and everyone else already. All the good things always happened to the MCs.

The woods stretched for miles, the rain began seeping into my shoes, and my back was sore from the shitty bed and lack of sleep, but we kept walking. Eventually, Sasori sent Deidara up to scout above the treeline, leaving the two of us alone for the first time since our spat.

I fell behind him, fixing my eyes to the ground. I didn't want to fight more, and if that meant not speaking to the puppeteer, then so be it.

He had other plans. "It is childish that you refuse to speak to me," he said, stopping in his tracks.

I nearly ran into him, stopping a few inches short.

"We are not children, Kira. I refuse to play this ridiculous game anymore."

"What's ridiculous is that you'll never understand the root of the problem, Sasori," I replied icily.

"If you don't tell me what the problem is, how can I understand?"

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "I can't do it anymore."

"What?" He asked, "What can you not do?"

"I can't keep fucking loving you!" I shouted, hurling my bag at him. "You'll never love me back, so-"

Sasori was suddenly kissing me, silencing my angry outburst. I wanted to kiss him back but-

I shoved him away. "You think that makes it all okay?"

He looked wounded for a second but collected himself quickly.

"You just kiss me and all of the anger is gone?" I spat, venom lacing my voice.

"If I didn't care for you, would I have administered the antidote to the poison you were struck with? Would I have nursed you back to health?"

"If you're obligated to by order of your boss!" I disputed. "How could you love me when you're just a heart? You don't have room for me."

I felt a tear fall down my face and Sasori stepped toward me, embracing me in a hug.

"Sasori," My voice broke and I buried my face into his shoulder.

"I care," he murmured into my hair. "Now can we please continue? I fear Deidara may find this display quite amusing."

A laugh bubbled up from my throat, and I hugged him closer for a second.

Sasori pulled back for a second and blinked at me. "I'm not incapable of love, I'm averse to it."

I sniffed and chuckled, backing away. "Thanks for the reassurance."

He ruffled my hair, "I'd have killed you long ago if I didn't find your company beneficial."

"You're doing that thing again," I informed him, "where you mask your feelings with big words."

"Fine," Sasori grumbled, "I like you, and I like having you around. Does that make you happy?"

"No, but we'll get there," I jested, turning on my heel to continue down the forest path.

When Deidara returned from his expedition, he had a relieved look on his face. "Oh thank _god_ ," he breathed as he hopped down from his clay carrier bird. "I probably would have committed suicide if I had to bear through another day of that tension."

' _You'd do it for a lot less_ ,' I thought but didn't say anything as Sasori shot him a 'shut up' glare.

"Okay fine, just saying," the blonde grumbled as he helped the two of us onto his clay creation. "We're clear through to the land of Fire, but after that, we might have to go by foot." He finally informed us as we ascended above the cloud cover. I sat down next to Sasori, who was studying a map in silence.

"I'm just glad to not have to walk anymore," I grumbled. I was tired and sore, and still rather cranky.

"I could have carried you," Sasori mumbled quietly. I shrugged, leaning into his side. To be honest, I felt better after our small argument, and I was glad to have clarity of our not-quite 'relationship', though not much more than I had before.

'Small steps, Kira. He'll open up as you open up.' I could almost hear Suki's voice.

I frowned, suddenly missing her a lot more. I hoped I'd get to see her when we stormed Konoha. Or at least shortly afterward...

* * *

**Zena**

Zetsu, Tobi and I were already in the land of Fire, by my estimation. We had journeyed east after the Uchiha and I met up with Zetsu, and the three- well, four if you counted each half of Zetsu- of us were destined for the small base southwest of Konoha.

There we'd meet up with the other four squads and prepare for the infiltration. Or so I'd overheard from Tobi and Zetsu's conversation with Pein.

Konoha had taken Sakana (and Hidan's head) and the retrieval of them was dire.

We eventually reached the secret base, a rather expansive cave system hidden beneath a merchant village that Akatsuki held considerable sway over. The villagers cowered in our presence as we passed through, keeping their gaze averted and their conversation low.

I stopped to buy groceries from an old woman who all but gave them to me, eyes constantly flickering over my shoulder at my companions. I tried to offer her a reassuring smile and a large tip, but she shakily refused. I dropped the yen in her tip jar anyways, bowing in thanks to her hard work.

We finally entered the base, through a secret door in a tree. The main room was cold and damp and smelled of mold, but it was quickly covered by the smell of cooking vegetables. It was an open space with a few chairs and a sofa situated on one side of the room and a kitchen set up on the other side. Nestled into the corner was a table large enough to fit six of the Akatsuki at a time. There was an open door to the rest of the base, through the tunnels that snaked underneath the village and probably had numerous other exits.

Tobi and Zetsu set about busting out the room, and after I had prepared lunch, we sat at the now-clean table and ate in relative silence. "Thanks for the food, Zena-chan!" Shiro and Tobi chorused, digging into their meals.

Over the day, Kisame and Itachi appeared, toting a sleeping Suki. Pein and Konan showed up a few hours later, but it was already late and they immediately retired, Pein announcing that we'd wait until Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, and Kira turned up to discuss the next step.

I was in the kitchen, cooking for everyone. The journey home was long and exhausting, and a hot meal would set the weary travelers right for a good night's rest.

"Zena!" Suki suddenly tackled me, now awake from her previous nap.

"Suki," I responded, now on the ground from her previous tackle.

"Did you hear that Sakana got to go to Konoha? Unfair," She cried into my hair.

"Sakana was kidnapped by Konoha, Suki," I explained, "I bet she's trying to sacrifice some of those bastards right now."

Suki sat up, "You got dark while we were apart."

I shrugged. Maybe I did spend too much time talking with Zetsu, but it didn't matter. "Konoha isn't perfect," I stated.

"Agreed," Itachi replied, standing up to wash out his dishes. He held his empty bowl and cup in his hands gently, red eyes lighting up in amusement.

"See? Sakana's probably threatened to kill at least three people by now," I told Suki.

"Probably more than that," She giggled.

"I'd say seven, minimum." Kisame rasped. He was still sitting at the small table in the corner, toying with the bowl and chopsticks in front of him.

"Who wants to place bets?" Came Kakuzu's voice. He entered the kitchen a second later, leading Hidan's headless body by a rope tied to his wrist.

"Of course you want to take bets right now," Kisame barked out a laugh.

Hidan's body ran into the wall a few times, and at first, it was funny until he slipped and landed on the countertop, across a few dishes of food I had already finished cooking.

Suki squawked and jumped backward. "Ew!"

"Kakuzu-san," I started, already throwing out the food.

"Yeah, yeah," Kakuzu grumbled, retreating to deposit Hidan somewhere.

I wiped my hands clean and washed my dishes, patting Suki on the head and bidding the trio good night.

One of the less fortunate things about this base was that the actual bedrooms were fewer, and as such, I was confined to sharing a room with Zetsu.

He was in the room, sweeping the cobwebs out of the corners of the room.

The two twin beds were made and there was a small pile of dirt in the corner. I sat down on one of the beds and watched him diligently battle the spider nest.

"Zetsu-san," I started, "will we get to go back to the main base?"

He made a face. "Probably, but not any time soon. And it definitely won't be the same as before."

"Konoha's going to comb through the base for a while." I concluded, "But they won't find anything because all of Akatsuki's records aren't in physical form. At least none that Konoha can reach."

Zetsu nodded. "Pein-san has the records."

Since Pein was pretty much a God, there would be no way they could get it. Pretty smart for an organization made up of a bunch of dumbasses.

I rolled onto my side, shifting into the worn mattress. "Goodnight, Zetsu."

* * *

**Sakana**

The next day I woke up, my ribs sore. "Fuckin' jerk," I grumbled, sitting up with a wince.

I counted the hours slowly, praying out loud. By my 356th time reciting the Lord's Prayer, my door swung open and Ibiki growled at me to shut up.

"It keeps the hunger at bay," I complained, accepting his outstretched hand.

"I might sew your mouth shut," he retorted. He _was_ like Kakuzu.

Speaking of, I was starting to miss my ragtag group of criminals. At the very least, I missed the entertainment.

As it turns out, starting at a stone wall for countless hours was actually terrible. Who knew?

Ibiki led me into the interrogation chamber again, but this one was different.

"Oh no," I groaned, stopping in the doorway.

Inochi Yamanaka and a young Ino were standing above a large machine, a clipboard in the young girl's arms.

"Don't do the fucking mind-probe bullshit!" I shouted. "Morino!"

Ibiki gave me a withering look and I stopped flailing. "Yamanaka-san is here only to tell me whether you're being truthful or not."

Inoichi gave me a perturbed look and shook his head. "If you have Uzumaki blood as you claim, I'll be able to tell Ibiki whether you're lying or not."

Ino's light blue eyes were wide and curious. I bet she was pretty confused that Naruto had living relatives. Wait until she learned about Karin and Nagato.

I shrugged and stepped forward. "Nothing more than that, then," I said with narrowed eyes.

Maybe I was being too trusting of them, but if it meant I got to speak with Tsunade...

The probe was over quickly and Inoichi confirmed that I had indeed been truthful. I rolled my eyes at the intimidating interrogator.

Ibiki wordlessly shackled me and placed chakra seals along my arms and legs, much to my chagrin. I complied and let him lead me from the building into the streets of Konoha.

I finally got a chance to meet the legendary Slug Princess, the Godaime Hokage herself, Tsunade Senju.

* * *

**Akatsuki Hideout**

Zena wasn't the first awake, but she was up early. She prepared breakfast while the others slept, and gradually they awoke and gravitated toward the smell of her cooking.

Suki wandered in, bleary-eyed and hungry. A blob of red caught her eye and her perked up.

Sasori was perched on the couch, sketching something on the paper in his lap. "Sasori!" Suki cried, running at the poor puppet man.

The victim of her affection didn't have time to brace himself before he was captured in her hug. "Suki," he deadpanned.

As quickly as she had accosted him, she was off, racing through the hallway with one destination in mind.

Somewhere in one of the 7 bedrooms, her twin slept soundly, comfortably encased in her blanket.

That restful sleep was ultimately demolished as the blond bombshell dashed into the room and jumped on the sleeping redhead.

"Kira!" Suki screeched, shaking her twin awake.

"Hello," Kira replied groggily.

Suki wrapped her arms around the tired girl, sobbing. "I'm so glad Konoha didn't nab you," she wailed.

Kira patted her twin's head soothingly.

"I mean it would be so unfair if you got to go with Sakana!" She continued with a sob.

Kira's hand froze. "I deserve it more than you," she replied.

Suki pulled back, "no way."

As the two began their quarrel, Zena joined them in the room, jumping into the pile of limbs.

"Good morning, Kira!" She cheered, immediately removing herself from the situation. "I just wanted to be a part of the love."

Suki nodded sagely, understanding the deep-seated need for affection. Especially with all these hot ninjas around.

Kira grumbled something and drug herself out from under her sister.

The trio wandered back into the kitchen, with Suki passing Deidara and giving him a friendly tackle-hug as well. Kira made herself a cup of coffee and sat on the ground next to Sasori. As she nestled herself comfortably into his leg, he folded up the paper and tucked it into his cloak. He opened up the book he was using to support his drawing and began reading, his right hand settling on top of Kira's head.

He stroked her hair and she leaned into it, sipping the steaming mug of hot coffee.

Suki and Zena exchanged a look from the couch but didn't speak up in fear of either redhead's wrath. Later, they mentally agreed, they'd corner Deidara and demand the details.

Their planning was cut short by Konan's entrance into the main room.

"Meeting room," Konan said, turning on her heel and retreating back to Pein's side.

The men followed her, leaving Kira, Zena, and Suki in the living area by themselves.

"We leave in an hour, we will send Itachi and Kakuzu to the main gates to request a presence with the Hokage. Should that fail, each team will individually infiltrate the village, and head for Hokage tower."

"As far as Zena, Kira, and Suki go, they will be traveling with Konan southbound, to our base in Whirlpool."

Outside of the door, Suki's ears perked up. The Land of Waves? _This should be interesting._

She scampered back to Kira and Zena to tell them the news.

Moments later, the meeting adjourned and Konan reentered the living room... Er, _cave_.

She gave the three girls a coy look and draped herself across the chair. "You heard Pein, go get your things."

* * *

**Back to Sakana... Again!**

Konoha was awesome, but the terrified looks I kept receiving weren't. The villagers of Konoha didn't even bother lowering their voices as they gossiped about the strange criminal Ibiki was parading through the streets.

" _I wonder what she did,"_

_"I heard she's with Akatsuki."_

_"Trash,"_

_"Scum,"_

_"Murderer,"_

I closed my eyes and tried to drown them out. In the corner of my eye, I spotted a flash of pink.

"Say, Morino," I drawled, "Is that Haruno Sakura?"

"Quiet," Ibiki growled.

"She'll be an Uchiha one day," I said, winking at my captor.

"Yeah, assuming that we don't publicly execute that treacherous little shit," came his gruff reply.

"C'mon, you think Naruto would actually let that happen?"

Ibiki didn't dignify me with a response and the conversation died.

The rest of the walk to the giant tower in the center of town was quiet. Well, almost.

There were still those damn gossipy villagers.

I shot one a glare as I passed, quieting the young woman.

Soon we reached the Hokage's tower, Ibiki leading me through the halls like a leashed dog. At least I wasn't muzzled.

In a dim room, Ibiki tied me to the table and receded into one of the darkened corners of the room, his head and upper half of his torso shrouded in shadow. The other three corners were also occupied by hidden ninja. The Hokage's guards, no doubt.

After a few moments of absolute silence, the Hokage stepped forward from the darkness and cautiously sat in the chair across from me. She was wearing her usual green robe, her hair parted into her signature twin blond ponytails. It was without a doubt, Tsunade Senju.

"So you're the Akatsuki girl," She said, steepling her hands under her chin as Pein does. Her light brown eyes were assessing me.

I thought a moment about how to reply, "And you're the famous Tsunade."

Suddenly, Kakashi was in the room, a box covered with seals in his hands.

"I have something of yours," She said, taking the box from the white-haired nin. "I could hardly bear to look at him."

"What with all the blood, and your low tolerance for it," I added.

She gave me a look.

"I know everything about every single one of you. Might sound dangerous in the hands of the Akatsuki, but their goal is world peace-" Tsunade opened her mouth to cut me off but I continued, "I do not agree with their methods, and in fact, they're being manipulated away from their true goal. I'm not at liberty to reveal any additional information, but I assure you that my intentions are to _save_ the Akatsuki from obliteration at the hands of Naruto Uzumaki and the Hidden Leaf."

"Why?" Was her curt response.

"Because," I sighed, "I'm on a mission from God."

Tsunade was silent for a moment. With a flick of her wrist, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke. _What a cool guy_ , I thought as Tsunade began unsealing the box.

"Don't," I warned her. "It's better if you just keep those on there."

"I want answers," Tsunade said. "Tell me what I want to know and you walk out of here with... This." She prodded the box.

"I can't give you information about Akatsuki."

Tsunade squared her shoulders and made a sign with her hand. The ninjas hiding in the corners of the room were now gone, leaving us completely alone.

If it was knowledge she wanted, then I'd tell her almost anything she wanted to know.


	24. The Re-Invasion of Konoha!

**I shat that last chapter out very quickly and I hate it. I'm so sorry guys, I'll try harder in this one! Please enjoy!**

* * *

**South of Konoha**

Several pairs of sandaled feet bounced through the tree limbs in a mad dash for the large shinobi village nestled in the forest to the north.

None dared to think about the list of possible outcomes, as none were anything short of horrific.

The blond artist flew high above the cover of the clouds, preparing an arsenal of explosive sculptures. His friend was in danger, and he was willing to blow up anything to help her.

Back in the trees, the Uchiha sped ahead of the group, matching pace with the Leader of their organization. Pein had a troubled look in his eye but kept his grim gaze forward.

By the time the tall, wide gates of the village were in sight, hours had passed.

"Remain hidden in the trees. Assume your positions and wait for the signal." Pein said, turning on his heel. Itachi fell into step behind him, and the two Ronin approached the south gate.

The two guards were instantly standing before the duo, blocking the path into the village.

"Akatsuki!" One shouted, brandishing a kunai.

"State your purpose," the taller jonin demanded, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"We've come to reclaim what you've stolen from us," Pein said, his voice deep and angry.

"Nothing more," Itachi added, flashing his Sharingan.

Instantly, the two men were slumping to the ground, their minds already in a state of unconsciousness.

The two S-class ninjas continued through the village, ignoring the horrified stares thrown their way. Itachi led Pein through the alleys to the tower, the duo coming to a halt a few blocks away.

A loud noise came from the main road, a woman's voice shouting.

Pein and Itachi exchanged a glance and were gone in an instant, quickly moving to the rooftop of a nearby building.

* * *

"FREEDOM!" I shouted, throwing myself on the ground in front of the Hokage Tower.

Tsunade had quickly deemed me as harmless and demanded my immediate release. It didn't take much to prove that I was being truthful; just some information about the past and present, as well as a few small details about the future. I tried to keep it as vague as possible, but when she asked about Danzo, I held nothing back. That guy was a shitstain, and I made Tsunade very aware of my distrust of the evil man.

I stuck my tongue out at Ibiki, who rolled his eyes.

"So, Saki," Tsunade said, "It was... interesting to meet with you, but now I need you out of my village."

"Noted," I replied, standing up and dusting myself off. "Thank you for not killing me. Not that it's possible or anything."

"Right..." The Hokage replied, looking at me as if my head had caught on fire and I'd began chanting out old sea shanties.

Then, Tsunade turned on her heel and retreated into her tower.

"What an odd lady," I sighed, "Well Ibiki-san, wanna walk me to the gate?"

By the time I'd picked myself up, Ibiki was gone.

"Wait," I called to the now-empty street.

Guess I'll have to unseal Hidan by myself. The sealing tag would be comprised of two sheets of paper, kanji scrawled across the middle of the paper sheet.

I wasn't exactly sure how to do it, so I pulsed a small amount of chakra from my fingertips into the seal. Nothing happened.

"AW GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I CAN'T FUCKING-" I stopped screaming and cleared my throat, shaking off the few strange looks I had received. "It'll be okay."

Well... Maybe not.

I had no way to contact Akatsuki, I couldn't get Hidan's head out of the stupid fucking box, and I no idea how to get back to the base.

Oh, Jashin, the base. It was probably demolished by now, so I was effectively screwed.

I laid back down in the middle of the street and heaved a sigh. So this is where it all ends, lost in the streets of Konoha, a decapitated head in an unlockable box as my only company. I threw my right arm over my eyes.

For several minutes I pondered my existence and

"Hey, lady." A young boy's voice called to me. "You alright?"

My ears perked up in recognition _._ _Oh my god, it couldn't be._ I sat up, blinking at the sudden sunlight.

Shikamaru Nara and Chouji Akamichi were standing above me, clearly confused.

"I'm good," I said, standing up. "Uzumaki Saki."

"Uzumaki, huh?" Shikamaru drawled, "Ino told me about you."

"Oh did she now?"

"Apparently you know a lot, more than I do."

"That's debatable," I chirped, "Well, boys-"

My stomach gurgled loudly, and I felt myself sweatdrop.

"Are you hungry?" Chouji asked, "Shikamaru and I were on our way to my favorite barbecue place if you want to come with us."

"Sure," I agreed, following the pair of 12-year-olds through the streets to the BBQ joint.

Shikamaru was extremely guarded, though I knew it was useless, I let him.

Chouji, however, was extremely chatty as he shoveled food into his mouth. His appetite fiercely rivaled Kisame's, and that was saying a lot.

"Hey, Saki-san," Shikamaru suddenly asked, sitting forward, "What's in the box?"

"A head," I said.

"A head?" Chouji parroted, dropping his chopsticks.

"My boyfriend's head," I added, "If that makes it sound any better."

Shikamaru sat back, perturbed, "it doesn't. Why do you have your boyfriend's head in a box?"

I sat back, my stomach full. "Kakashi took it."

Shikamaru shook his head. "You have problems."

"Yeah and one of them is that I can't unseal the box," I grumbled.

"Why do you want to unseal it?" Chouji was so cute and innocent. I loved him.

"To get my boyfriend's head out," I replied. The questions were starting to get annoying so I held my hand up, stopping Shikamaru's next query. "Kakashi took it when the ANBU kidnapped me, and I just got it back, but the problem is that I don't know how to remove the seal."

Shikamaru gave me a dry look. "You're an adult, and you don't know simple fuinjutsu?"

"I'm a genin!" I shouted. "Granted, so are you, but you're a freakin' super genius. No, I don't know basic seals. But I do have a pretty kickass katana. I don't know how to use that either." I slumped over and rested my forehead on the cool wooden table. "I'm a failure."

Chouji patted my head for a second, then pulled his hand back quickly.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh and stood from his seat. "I'll unseal it for you," he mumbled, turning and walking out of the restaurant.

"Alright, I guess this is goodbye, Chouji-san. It was nice to meet you." I nodded at him and picked the box up from the table gingerly.

"Likewise, Saki-san," Chouji chirped before resuming his meal.

Shikamaru was waiting for me on the street. He held his hand out as I exited the shop.

I held it out to him, hesitating. "You can't look inside."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but took the box anyways.

"I guess I can tell you something about your future," I sighed, edging closer to the young genius.

"What's that?" He asked, his curiosity piqued.

"I'll have to think about it," I admitted. I didn't want to tell him something that messed up the timeline, which is why I couldn't tell him about Hidan's immortality.

As much as I thought the information could help save Asuma, I knew I could easily stop Hidan from sacrificing him. _Or so I hoped. I_

I gave Shikamaru a once over, finally deciding on what information could have the least use to him.

I stepped closer and leaned over, my mouth a few inches from his ear, " _You and Temari make a cute couple._ "

He dropped the box and backed away, a bright pink blush spreading across his cheeks.

 _Geez._ I swiped the box up, muttering an apology to Hidan's still sealed head, and chased after him, shouting.

"Shikamaru!"

After a few blocks, I had lost him and realized I had gotten turned around. The top of the Hokage tower peeked over the rooftops, a few blocks away. _Jashin damn it._

* * *

Itachi led Pein through one of the many windows into the Hokage's tower.

Any record of Sakana, Hidan, or the attack on Akatsuki would be in the records room, a path that Itachi still knew by heart.

The room was dim and dusty, and Pein stood guard as Itachi rifled through the various stacks of paperwork.

After a few uninteresting finds, the name of their organization caught his eye.

_"Subject apprehended and delivered to Torture and Interrogation, the subject appears to have rare Kekkei Genkai or Tota resulting in immediate regeneration and immortality."_

"Sakana," Pein said, his voice gruff and annoyed. "Quickly, Itachi."

"Yes, Pein-sama." Itachi inclined his head and scanned the document, spouting out the necessary information. "It would seem Sakana-san had an audience with Tsunade this afternoon."

A look of confusion crossed the Uchiha's face, "No mention of Hidan."

"That is troubling," Pein commented, crossing his arms. "If that's all..."

"There is no further information," Itachi confirmed, already crossing the room and joining Pein in the doorway.

Unnoticed, they exited the tower and once again took to the rooftops.

"Hatake, then," Itachi said, his blood-red eyes turning to Pein.

The latter inclined his head fractionally and in an instant, the pair was gone.

* * *

**Outside of Konoha**

"I thought Pein-sama told us to go to whirlpool?" Suki chirped, tilting her head. "I mean, I'm absolutely thrilled at the destination change, don't get me wrong."

Konan gave her a dry look, "And miss out on all the fun? No way."

Kira let out a dark chuckle, "I wonder if Gaara is still in town after the chuunin exams."

Zena shook her head, "Doubt it, he's already back in Suna."

Konan didn't reply, only pausing in her stride to perform a quick henge Jutsu. Her blue hair and amber eyes were now black and brown, dull and plain.

The other three girls didn't react, continuing their conversation. "Well, you never know if he's on a diplomatic mission or not," Suki offered, playing the mediator before Zena and Kira began bickering.

Konan shook her head and took the lead, marching the trio toward the towering South Gate of Konohagakure.

"I miss Sakana," Suki whined, "I hope she's okay."

"You're not the one taking the brunt of Kira's anger," Zena cried, matching pace with Konan. "She's not nice at all."

Kira stuck her tongue out at the brunette.

"Nah, she's just _super_ sexually frustrated," Suki chirped, jumping out of Kira's sudden grab.

"Enough," Konan said, her voice quiet and stern. "We aren't far, now our cover story is that we're villagers from Totsumo Village to the south."

Kira, Suki, and Zena nodded in unison.

"No mention of Jutsu, no mention of any names, you are a villager."

"Hai, Konan-san."

"Ko-san." Konan corrected, winking.

With that, the quartet of women marched ever closer to the famous shinobi city.

* * *

**Pein and Itachi**

The leader of the Akatsuki wasn't happy, Itachi could pick up on the ever increasing temper of his boss.

The Copycat nin was _very_ elusive, it turns out.

It should have been easy to spot him with the giant mess of silver hair on top of his head, but he _was_ regarded as one of Konoha's finest.

Itachi wasn't surprised the man wasn't considered for the role of Hokage when Sarutobi passed.

None of his clones had caught a glimpse of Kakashi, and none had heard anything regarding the spitfire Akatsuki member somewhere in Konoha.

"Itachi," Pein said, "It's time to alert the others."

"Hai," Itachi said, sending one of his clones to inform Kisame and Kakuzu of the order.

Within seconds, an explosion sounded nearby, and screaming rose up through the streets.

"If they won't return what's ours, we'll just take it back." Pein's deep rage shone through his voice.

Itachi couldn't agree more.

Konoha's crimes couldn't be ignored any longer.

* * *

**Sakana**

The ground shook and villagers came scrambling down the road, elbowing and pushing past me. The box was knocked from my hands and I was swept away by the crowd.

I don't know how far I was dragged, but I eventually wrestled my way out of the frenzy, rubbing at a particularly sore spot on my leg. Fucking assholes.

Hidan.

Fuck.

I worked my way back through the streets, searching for my lost cargo, eventually stopping in the middle of the street.

A familiar man stood in the center of the road, the sealed box clutched to his chest.

"Lose something?" He asked, holding it out.

"D-" I caught myself, correcting, "Don't unseal that."

"I'm aware of the contents of the box, girl." Danzo sneered, "And of your current immortality. I am no fool."

 _No, but you're definitely a huge jackass_ , I thought, swallowing the lump in my throat. "What do you want?"

"A 'fortune', if you will."

I scowled, I had nothing to tell this ultimate shitbag. "So you know of me, then?"

"Saki Uzumaki, as you claim. It's true, you do have Uzumaki blood. It's rather interesting, no?" He smirked at me, his eyes full of darkness and malice. "You're currently working under Akatsuki, as well. You have potential to be a great kunoichi, provided you don't follow a blind fool down a dark path."

"You're one to talk about dark paths," I mumbled, glaring at him. "Why should I tell someone like you about the future?"

"Ah, here comes the fun part," His dark eyes lit up with sadistic glee. "You tell me what I want to know, and I'll let you leave."

I glanced around. His root ninja were everywhere, crouching in the shadows, hiding among the rooftops, all watching me like hawks.

Standing my ground, I stepped forward. "Danzo, I cannot give you the infor-"

"Wrong," He interrupted, matching my step forward. "You _will_ tell me."

"Sakana!" A voice cried to my right, and in an instant I was swept into a pair of large tanned arms.

"Kakuzu-" I gasped as he jumped away from the village elder. "-He has Hidan!"

"Sealed box, hm?" Kakuzu grumbled, running away, "Got it."

Kisame jumped into the light as an explosion detonated where I had been standing. Deidara was flying above us, dropping explosives on Danzo's root members as they tried to evade.

Kakuzu jumped onto a nearby rooftop, now clear of any of Danzo's lackeys. Pein and Itachi materialized before me, Itachi's Sharingan blazing.

 _Was I really worth coming all the way to Konoha and staging an invasion?_ I felt tears prickle my eyes and all of a sudden, the weight of the last few days was lifted. I was safe.

Akatsuki had come for me.


	25. Escaping the Leaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our brave heroines traverse through the Hidden Leaf during the mission to reclaim their comrades. Shenanigans ensue!

**A/N at bottom!**

**Sakana**

I watched the battle for Hidan's head from the rooftop, safely waiting with Pein for the retrieval of our comrade's cranium.

Sasori and Tobi had joined the fight not long after Kakuzu had returned to the street, the former carving a path of destruction with his multiple wooden puppets, and the latter flitting around the battlefield and performing some pretty kick-ass Taijutsu.

Itachi paced along the rooftop, his eyes never leaving the fight.

"Where are-"

"The women are travelling south." Pein responded curtly. "They should arrive at our base in the next day and prepare for our arrival."

"Ah," I nodded, sitting back again.

I really missed the shenanigans.

Itachi stopped pacing and now stood stock-still, "Danzo is attempting an escape."

My brother grabbed my wrist and the three of us were suddenly standing in front of Danzo.

"Ah, so the leader arrives." Danzo grinned, baring too-white teeth.

"Don't let him monologue!" I screeched, tucking myself behind the two S-class ninja.

Pein held up a hand and Danzo was propelled away. I really fucking loved Almighty Push.

Itachi lunged forward, kicking at Danzo's head with a spin. The old man blocked it with his forearm and jumped backward, dodging the clone Itachi had sent out during his fancy-ass spin. They were moving rather quickly but if I was easily keeping up with them visually, I could at least handle supporting Itachi. Probably.

I rushed forward, drawing Kogitsune-maru.

"Sakana!" Pein shouted, "Get back here!"

"I can deal with this guy," I shouted back, lunging at the old man with all of my might.

He leaped over me and kicked my back, and I felt the air being knocked out of my lungs.

_Itachi stood before me, his figure was perfectly poised. "Come at me with all you have," he commanded, and before I could register my actions, I was rushing at the Uchiha._

_He dodged my charge and ducked under me, knocking me on my back._

_"You must always retain your calmness." Itachi was looming over me now, helping me up. "Now, again."_

_I charged him again, trying to analyze his movements. He was too fast- too unpredictable._

_"Again," he chanted, repeatedly forcing me to attack him, only to knock me back down on my ass._

I gasped for air, refilling my lungs. My chest hurt and a cough rattled my chest as I stood back up. My blood rushed in my ears as I staggered up.

"Sakana," Pein growled, gripping my wrist once more, "Stand down."

My vision swam but I growled at the leader of Akatsuki, "He has Hidan!" I roared, yanking my hand free. My wrist popped and I winced, but I never broke eye contact with Pein.

He stepped back, silenced.

_Calm_. I wasn't too familiar with the term, as my life was constantly surrounded by chaos... I exhaled slowly, adjusting my grip on the hilt of my sword.

It felt almost as if I was receiving Jashin's blessing at the same time as being struck right through the gut with a Chidori. Or at least, my best approximation of being struck through the gut with a Chidori.

Every inch of my body tingled and burned, but I could feel the power coursing through underneath the sting. My right shoulder burned, where the evidence of my stupidly fangirl-ish obsession was permanently etched into my skin.

I ignored it and fixed my gaze on the old man.

" _You_ ," I hissed, angry and possessive, "Have something of mine."

Danzo didn't even flinch as he turned to me, his dark and empty eyes almost boring holes into my soul.

"Sakana," Itachi tried to catch my attention, but his words barely registered through my bloodlust. "Sakana."

I hissed and propelled myself forward, arching my sword up at Danzo's face.

His arm shot up to block my strike but somehow I was moving faster... Hitting harder.

I smirked at the sight of his blood smeared across the flat of my blade and jumped backwards.

I had always fucking hated Danzo. I wanted to kill him. Decapitate him like Kakashi did Hidan.

I wanted to gore him, watch his intestines spill out and enjoy every moment before his soul finally left his body.

I wanted to hear every gasp and gurgle as he drowned on his own blood.

_"Do it."_ Jashin's voice whispered in my ear. " _This wretched man holds the head of your betrothed. He means to dissect it. To learn our secret."_

" **He is not worthy**." I spoke in cadence with my God, leveling my stare on the withered old fool.

Slowly I kicked a sigil into the dust and ash beneath my feet. The cobblestoned streets peeked up at me as I mutely drew the circle.

Itachi spoke again, but this time to Pein. His words were muffled and drowned by Jashin's commandments as I lifted the sword to my face.

The taste of Danzo's blood was bitter and vile, but it was enough to seal his fate.

"May your soul serve Jashin-sama well," I mused as I raised the sword.

A flash of silver stopped me dead in my tracks. Well, it was more so the spinning red tomoe underneath a wild nest of silver.

" _Fuck you,_ _Hatake_ ," I grimaced and fell to my knees, the earlier feeling of power suddenly vanishing.

I grunted fighting against the explosive pain.

Itachi was in front of me again, protecting me from the new adversary.

Something pressed against my stomach and I hissed, then I was gently being lifted up and tucked closely against a strong, slightly chilly body.

"Big brother to the rescue," It came out as a snarky wince, but I took some comfort in the pleasant act.

"Never do that again," Pein responded, distant yet concerned. The sound of something dropping cut me off as I opened my mouth the retort. I looked up again, past Itachi's back. Kakashi leaned down and picked up the box from the street.

Danzo was gone.

**Somewhere In** **Konoha**

Konan had taken extra precautions after entering the leaf village, especially after her quick henge had faded away. The quartet of women couldn't afford to be caught, and so they stuck to the alleyways.

"It smells so yummy~" Zena groaned as the rich aroma of roasted pork wafted through the air.

"Its definitely barbecue," Suki chimed in, her mouth watering at the scent.

"And where there's barbecue, there's Chouji," Kira cackled evilly before darting off into the streets.

"Kira!" Konan exclaimed as Suki gave chase, towing an apologetic looking Zena behind her. "Oh fuck," Akatsuki's angel groaned, dropping her face into her palms. Leader-sama was going to be so pissed.

**Kira, Suki, and Zena: Downtown Streets of** **Konoha**

"You were right," Suki affirmed her twin as the trio spied the Akimichi boy exiting the restaurant.

"Cho-!" Suki began to shout as Zena muffled her.

"Quiet! He'll think we're insane if we approach him on the street and know his name."

The pessimistic redhead gave Zena a dry look. "We are insane, but she does have a point. We don't need the extra attention. We can just pretend we don't know who he is and ask if he's seen our pain-in-the-ass friend."

"Great idea," Zena said as Suki crooned, Awwwe! You called her your friend!"

Kira rolled her eyes but led her two companions toward the young boy.

"Excuse us," Zena softly called, but the boy didn't hear.

He began to walk away and Zena deflated a bit as Suki inhaled and let out an unholy screech of, "HEY LITTLE BOY!"

She succeeded in gaining his attention, along with the attention of everyone on the street.

Her twin held back a cringe as Chouji slowly turned around. "Eh, me?"

"Yes. Sorry." Suki chuckled wryly. "Don't know my own volume sometimes... Anyways we're looking for our friend and were wondering if you'd seen her?"

He scratched his head, "Well, I don't really know to be honest."

"She's kinda short, really really weird. Rednand white hair-"

"Oh! You mean Saki-san! Yeah, she had lunch with my friend Shikamaru. They both left together not too long ago."

"Was there anything she had said?" Kira asked, tapping her foot.

"Well she said she was a psychic and could read the future... Oh and she had a box with her. Shikamaru was going to unseal it for her."

"Oh! Ummm..." Zena trailed off, digging through her pouches at her hips and down her legs.

"How long ago exactly did they leave? And which way were they going?" Kira asked, glancing around the street.

"Probably 10 minutes ago and I think they were heading toward the Tower. Anyways, my sensei is waiting for me at Ichiraku's. We're gonna have ramen on him."

"Wait!" Zena cried, finally retrieving a small pouch from on of her pockets. It was a bag of crisps.

"My favorite chips! Thanks, ladies!" Chouji smiled before waving at the trio. "I hope you find your friend!"

"Thanks a lot, Chouji!" Suki grinned, dragging the other two girls up the street, toward the red-painted tower.

The trio had barely made it a block before the ground shook and the buildings rumbled from an explosion.

"Hmph, idiot." Kira snorted as she dodged a few frantic pedestrians.

"Incoming," Zena warned as a throng of panicking villagers scrambled through.

After the swath had passed, Kira, Suki, and Zena rejoined in the center of the street, a rather annoyed Konan appearing in front of the trio, blocking their path.

After a moment of silence, the stern look melted off the woman's face, replaced by curiosity. "Did you at least have fun?"

"Barely," Kira smirked, crossing her arms behind her head.

"We did learn that Sakana is in the area, and she had a box." Zena supplied helpfully.

"That explosion was undoubtedly Deidara's handiwork." Konan deduced.

Kira shrugged and stride past Konan, "We've made it this far, we might as well find them."

A frown split Konan's face for a brief moment before settling back on its usual stoicism, and she took the lead through the streets.

As the four odd women marched toward what seemed to be the epicenter of the destruction, they spotted a familiar white bird hovering not too far above a still-standing building. Zena covered her nose and mouth as they delved deeper into the smoky debris.

Kira and Suki, unfazed, marched on. Konan faltered beside the gentle brunette. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," Zena offered a small smile. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Alright," Konan replied, waiting for the brunette to straighten herself out and resume the trek.

Suki zoomed away, flitting into the waning moonlight with a loud shriek.

"Suki!" Konan exclaimed, darting after the blonde, coming through the fog onto the street.

Konoha jonin and Anbu forces littered the street, greatly outnumbering the scattered Akatsuki members.

Suki was stopped a few feet into the clearing. Destroyed buildings and large piles of debris were scattered among what used to be a village square.

Konan felt Pein's presence through the iron rod piercing her lip. She knew his exact location- south side of the wreckage, down the street a few blocks.

_Protect them._ The message wasn't only meant for her. All of the members heard it, and each would protect the future-telling trio of trouble with their lives.

"Hey!" Suki shouted as a jonin approached her.

"Ma'am you need to go back the-" His eyes landed on Konan, who closed in on Suki, placing a gentle and steady hand on the blonde's shoulder. "You're with them."

In an instant, Konan's paper wings materialized on her back, and she wrapped her left arm around Suki's midsection as she pulled up.

Kira's eyes narrowed as the jonin looked at her and Zena. "Fuck off." She hissed and pulled one of her newest creations out of her hip pouch.

The smoke bomb-like apparatus hit him square in the forehead and bounced off with a soft 'thunk'. It went off seconds later, and Kira slapped a hand over Zena's face. "Don't breathe unless you want to get stupid."

Something in the fog snatched Zena away, and Kira jumped. "Zena!" She shouted, looking around.

A tendril snaked around Kira's waist and she was snatched away too.

When she came out of the fog, she was standing before Kakuzu and Sasori.

Kakuzu's arm retracted from her midsection and reattached to his body. Kinda gross, but okay. Kira thought.

"Zena-"

"The girl is fine. I believe Zetsu is transporting her to Leader as we speak." Kakuzu grumbled. "Sasori, you will be paying me for retrieving your woman."

Kira blubbered, "His woman?"

"I would not stoop so low," Sasori replied acidly, summoning a few of his puppets.

Okay, _now_ Kira was mad.

"Very funny coming from someone who's shorter than me."

"Half of an inch, you wretch."

"Listen, I don't care which of you is the woman. I want money."

_What else is new?_

Pein relaxed, loosening his grip on me. "We'll be departing shortly."

"Huh?" I asked, dumbly.

Itachi moved then, too fast for me to keep up. Kakashi was moving too, just as quickly as the Uchiha.

"Enough," Pein monotonously said. "We'll take our leave once the box is returned to us."

"Filth." Kakashi replied.

"Just give us the god-damned head," I cried. "Then we're gone. No more fighting. No more invading. Naruto isn't even here."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed on me. "You're in league with the Akatsuki. You're trash too."

I frowned, hurt by Cool-Guy Kakashi's bitter declaration.

Nonetheless Kakashi was gone in a swirl of leaves, the sealed box clattering to the ground in his absence.

Itachi held it seconds later, and Pein lifted me once more.

It was a good thing, too... Cause I was really fuckin sore.

We met up with Zetsu, Tobi and Zena not too far out of Konoha. Pein had briefly told me we'd all split ways and meet again along the route to our new base. I could only assume it was to avoid tails from the Hidden Leaf. I shrugged and let myself sleep in the comfort of my long-lost brother's arms.

I awoke when Tobi came bounding up, boyish concern lacing his voice.

"Is Sakana-chan okay?"

"Just some mental scarring from Hatake," I replied hoarsely. It was mental. Whatever he did to me, it was from the Sharingan.

He had become way less cool in my book.

"So um, Sakana-chan," Zena's concerned came from beside Tobi. She held out a few small soldier pills and a canteen. "I have some capsules Kira-chan and Sasori-kun helped me make. They'll help your recovery."

I silently swallowed the hard pills, the flavor of Zena's cooking exploding across my taste buds. "Whoa... Sick."

She smiled and retreated.

Pein set me down, distancing himself once more. I staggered to my feet, still aching from the torture. "I can't believe he called me trash."

"What?" Zena asked softly, halfway across the small clearing now.

"Kakashi," I sighed, "He fuckin' called me trash. I know I'm trash. I don't need a spiky-haired jerk-face to tell me so."

She made a small noise of either amusement or concern, I didn't really care.

Re-energized from Zena's miracle pill and my small nap, there was still one thing bothering me.

"Where is Hidan?" I turned my attention back to Pein, who was casually leaning against a tree behind me. He raised an orange eyebrow at me.

"You're only now asking?"

I gave him a withering glare.

"Kakuzu took great pleasure dismembering him."

I scoffed. "Oh that's just wonderful."

Pein didn't respond, to my disdain.

I furrowed my brow and stomped closer to the stoic ninja. "You never said where he is."

"Fine, since you're so insistent..." Pein mumbled, producing a small scroll. "Here."

I took the item from his extended hand, confused. "What the hell is this supposed to be?"

"Hidan."

"You sealed him? The fuck, Pein?"

"Your fuinjutsu training begins now. Unseal the scroll, and you'll have Hidan back."

Alright, whatever. I turned the cylinder in my hand a few times. "I can't even read Kanji. Or romanji, whatever its called."

"Then I suggest you begin learning."

What a dick.

"Watch your tongue," he replied curtly, closed his eyes and resumed ignoring me. Did I say that out loud?

I stared down at the sealed scroll once more.

_Guess I better get to work._

\---

**Capping myself out at 2800 words tonight guy, I'm very sorry for not posting soon enough but this** **covid** **craziness is giving me major writers block! Please leave a review of what you'd like to see in the future!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Suki**

Konan set me down on the still-intact rooftop, just as Itachi was standing up from a crouch.

"Weasel!" I cried, hopping toward my dark prince.

"Hello, Suki," he replied, catching me with one arm and setting me back on my feet, unperturbed by my enthusiasm.

"Sakana-chan!" I gasped, my gaze landing on the kind-of redhead slumped in Pein's arms. "What happened-"

"Hatake," Itachi responded curtly. "Though his Mangekyou wasn't what put her out, that was her own exhaustion."

"Will she be alright?"

"Once she rests," it was Pein that answered, to my surprise.

I nodded, not knowing what to say for the first time in my life.

"We will reconvene in a days time, due South." Itachi spoke as he scooped me up once more.

Itachi didn't put me down until we were well into the forest, his eyes still blazing red.

"You don't need the Sharingan anymore," I tried to reassure him, and even from my vantage point on his back I could see the pained look that crossed his face.

"No doubt we've been tailed by the Leaf," he muttered, quiet enough that my ears barely picked it up.

"But you'll just-"

"Enough, Suki," he bit, "I am taking necessary precautions until we arrive at the rendezvous point and reunited with our comrades."

I fell quiet, turning my cheek into his back, watching the scenery as we barreled past at breakneck speeds.

Though he hadn't said it, I knew what he was thinking. _I wasn't a threat to anyone, who I was I to be advising the great and infallible Uchiha Itachi?_

Just a girl who cared about him.

And at all costs would prevent his death, because he was not put to justice. I cried for days when Kira and I had watched the episode together, desolate and angry at his stupid brother, who too regretted his actions.

And then vowed to destroy the leaf.

I finally spoke after about thirty minutes, my mouth dry and my throat scratchy. "Where is Kisame?"

He was silent a moment, but finally responded as he came to a stop on one of the branches.

"Tying up loose ends and meeting us by sunset." Itachi detached a canteen from his hip and offered it to me. "We can't linger long if we want to reach our destination in time."

I nodded gulped down the cool water, the liquid easing my parched throat. I held his canteen out to him and waited for him to reattach it to his body before we were on the path to Kisame.

* * *

**Kira**

Despite my protests, Sasori carried me inside of Hiruko, the two of us sitting inside of the puppet as it traveled down the road.

"It's a bit creepy," I had argued, but he ignored me and pushed me inside.

It was actually more spacious inside than it seemed. I didn't say anything though, still a bit irate at the puppet-man.

Sasori either didn't notice or didn't care. _Whatever._

I picked through my jacket pockets until I located one of my creations and pulled it out to fiddle with it. Glancing at the redhead sitting across from me, I decided I didn't want to stink up the inside of his precious puppet, so I resolved myself to turning it around in my fingers until Sasori noticed and snapped at me.

"For Kami's sake, woman, just smoke it." He grumbled, pulling a pack of matches from his pocket. I shrugged and struck one, careful not to set our vessel aflame.

"I didn't want to hear you bitch about the smell," I sniped, pulling the smoke into my lungs.

"I'd sooner bitch about your dour mood than the smell. I don't have an olfactory sense," he retorted.

"Well perhaps there's a specific reason for my mood."

He gave me a dry look and leaned forward, "Alright, Kira, I'll bite. What's wrong?"

"You're an emotionless bastard," I replied, mirroring his movement. "What I don't understand is how we could possibly be soul mates, seeing that you're quite literally a puppet."

"I can't quite say that I understand it either," he mused, "perhaps the Gods have a twisted sense of humor."

I sucked another puff of smoke in through my teeth, "And you wonder why I'm upset."

"I understand why you're upset."

"Okay," I said, leaning back and leveling my gaze on him. "Why am I upset?"

"You're bothered by my comment earlier." He said simply, propping a hand under his chin. Our 'carriage' jostled and I bounced, sliding ever closer to the smug looking man. "Judging by how quiet and moody you've been during our trek, I'd say you're rather displeased."

I scoffed and pointedly looked at my fingernails. "You said it yourself, Sasori-san. You're incapable of love, and any other emotion for that matter."

Sasori didn't reply and I finished smoking, putting the cherry out on my tongue. Eventually the silence lulled me into a light sleep.

The visions took over almost immediately.

_I was back at home, curled beneath the duvet on my bed._

_My body was burning. Scars long healed arose across my skin, almost-black bruises and ruby-red welts bubbles across my arms and stomach. I succumbed to the searing pain and curled in on myself._

_"Worthless,"_

_"You're weak,"_

_"Stand up for yourself for once, maybe then we wouldn't do this."_

_Months of endless brutality. The pain a trio of teenage girls could inflict was incredulous._

_...All for what? Because I wouldn't fight back? It bothered them so much that I wouldn't lower myself to their immaturity?_

_Or was it because I was nothing like my charming and charismatic twin? I was already aware that I was nothing like Suki. Our parents made that fact abundantly clear._

_Life wasn't always what we wanted it to be though. I grimaced and sat up, looking around._

_Nostalgia swept over me. This was somewhere I hadn't been in a while._

_My childhood bedroom. It was quite empty, a few aged pieces of furniture tucked into the corners of the room, a worn armchair place in between the bed and dresser. My eyes landed on the bookshelf._

_It was teeming with books and papers, titles too mature for a young child to even be interested in._

_Wincing, I stood up and shuffled across the room, taking once last glance at the bedroom before exiting into the hallway._

_A sharp chemical smell invaded my senses and my wounds stung as I barreled into the bedroom across from mine. I stood above a hospital bed, a small form curled up in the middle of it._

_Their face was covered in bandages, and both of their feet had casts on them._

Suki.

_A sob welled in my throat at the sight of my usually carefree sister in such a state._

**_Weak. Vulnerable. Broken._ **

_Hot tears stung on my cheeks and I wiped them away._

_"..don't... cry."_

_Suki's bright blue eyes were warm and loving as she looked up at me. "Suki-"_

_"...I'll be fine," she gasped as she struggled to sit up. A raspy cough rattled her. She really did look small and frail._

_I gulped back a sob. It was my fault._

_"It wasn't your fault," she murmured sweetly. "Don't think that. I know you were."_

_The door slid open behind me and I whirled around._

_My parents occupied the doorway, duffel bags slung over my father's shoulders. "Girls..." He seemed barely apologetic._

_Mother gave us a long scrutinizing gaze, said nothing, and turned around._

_"Dad-" I started._

_He looked disappointed. "It was bad enough that you didn't have a future, you had to take your sisters away as well."_

_Then he was gone as well._

_I ran after them, flinging myself out of the room and down the hall._

_"Father, Mother!" I cried, "Come back!"_

_A force threw me back and I skidded across the floor on my butt. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked up and my gaze met with a deep glare._

_"I think Trash just bumped into me," the brunette sneered, "What's your problem?"_

_I stood up and leveled my gaze on the trio. The three girls that spent months torturing me for their own entertainment._

_"What?" One of the others snapped, crossing her arms. "Yuki, Hana, I think this dumb bitch wants to do something."_

_"Well, Trash? Are you going to finally stop being a pussy?"_

_I tried to ignore them and push past, but a blow to the stomach from the leader- Yuki- forced me back again._

_"Leave me alone!" I growled, fixing my angered gaze on them. "Leave my life alone!"_

_A smirk spread across Yuki's face, a brown eyebrow flicking upward in amusement. "What are you going to do about it, Trash?"_

_Screw it. I punched her in the nose, and I don't know whether the cracking of bones came from my wrist or her nose. She squawked and staggered back._

_I made a break for it, but Hana's right arm shot out and stopped me. The air left my lungs and the trio towered above me, blood dripping down Yuki's face. She lifted her foot and the last thing I saw was her heel._

_"Get up," A warm voice urged me, and a face came into sight after I blinked a few times._

_A small cherubic face, large brown eyes and a mess of red hair._

_Sasori helped me up, dragging me to my feet._

_"Are you okay?"_

_"I- the-" My wounds were gone, the scars and bruises faded and hidden once more. "Sasori-san."_

_"Kira-san, I believe its time we addressed this. You must stop pining for me. I could never love you."_

_Tears welled in my eyes and I turned on my heel and ran._

_I thought that the stupid prophecy had finally given me a companion that'd never hurt me but his words stung more than any beating could._

_It was foolish to think a murderous criminal would be the "true love" of an ignorant, useless sour woman. Much less Akasuna no Sasori, who still toted around the puppetized corpses of his own parents._

_He'd just as soon turn me into one of his tools. I stopped in my place. Was that actually too terrible of a fate? Suki wouldn't need to take care of me, Sasori wouldn't have to deal with how annoying I apparently am..._

_My hands were shaky and I kept losing my vision as stood there, surrounded by dead trees and bitter cold._

_I heard him softly clear his throat behind me. "Kira-san?"_

_I didn't say anything as I turned around and faced him. His eyes were dull now, bored and tired of me, I could only assume._

_"What do you have?"_

_I looked down and an empty vial slipped through my fingers. It broke on the rocky ground beneath me. I crumpled to my knees, blinking groggily up at Sasori._

_"What did you take?" He sounded distant and hollow._

_I didn't know. It was all a blur._

_"Kira." He shook me._

"Kira."

I jolted awake, drenched in sweat and my heart beating a million miles a minute.

"Kira." Sasori said again, his face inches from mine and concern written across his face. "Are you okay?"

I gasped a raspy. shuddering breath and broke out into sobs.

* * *

**Sakana**

I growled in frustration and bit my thumb. Pein had been watching me, silently, for hours. We had a few oil lamps spread around the camp, one lighting up the tent and another a few feet from me, casting a dim light across the old scroll Pein had given me. I squinted and read the line again, slowly forming hand seals before biting my thumb and applying my blood to the seal.

This was supposed to be _very_ basic. I'm a fully-grown adult woman and I can't even figure out the proper order to form the seals in. _Pathetic._

"Fuck," I spat and stood up, storming away from the scroll.

Maybe a walk would help clear my mind and calm my chakra.

I cast a pleading gaze at Zena, who was sitting in front of our small campfire, stoking the coals gently.

She nodded in immediate understanding and stood up, dusting her skirt off.

Our walk was peaceful... Well, except for my tirade about how much of a jerk Pein was.

"He just sits there, no direction or advice! What am I supposed to do, Zena?" I asked as we meandered down the path.

"I-"

"I mean you'd think he could afford to give me _anything_ to work with."

"Well-"

"I mean for fuck's sake, he knows that I'm pretty much genin level on most of my skills. But fucking fuinjutsu? That's so hard to grasp."

I paused and turned to Zena, crossing my arms behind my head. Crickets chirped in the tall grass and the wind shifted the trees.

It was peaceful for a moment as we rounded the path and came to a stop at the bank of a pond.

I sat down on the rocky shore and watched the waves bring the tide up and down. Zena sat down next to me, crossing her legs underneath her.

After a few moments of watching the stars and moon reflect off of the surface of the water, my ears picked up the sound of someone walking up the path behind us.

Zetsu came into view a moment later, both sides in a heated argument. They both shut up when they saw Zena and I, flicking briefly between the two of us. "Pein requests that you return now," He rasped, his white side offering his arm out to Zena.

"You two go ahead, I'll be a minute." I said, offering a small smile to my friend. Zetsu shrugged and led her back, leaving me alone at the water.

I sat back and gazed at the sky. It was breathtaking. I could see every fleck in the sky, as if someone flung brilliantly white paint across the black backdrop of the sky. The eastern reaches of the atmosphere were lightening up, warning me of the impending sunrise.

_Ah, so that's why Pein wants me to come back._

I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths, then began reciting one of the prayers Hidan taught me.

" _Jashin, my Lord, I pray to you now for protection.  
_ _For you are my Guardian._

_Wrap me in your divine essence, so that the corruption of the heathen world cannot touch me.  
_ _Embrace me with shadow, so that the selfishness of this mortal existence cannot taint my mind.  
_ _Shield me with your vengeful power, so that my enemies may not harm my body.  
_ _Protect me, Savior.  
_ _For you are my Guardian._

_Cloak me in your holy light, so that no doubt can soil my unadulterated blood.  
_ _Give me the strength to defend myself.  
_ _Grant me the likeness of a warrior, so that I may resist the oppression of the infidels.  
_ _Shelter me from the judgment that society presses down upon me.  
_ _Don't let me stray from your path, Lord.  
_ _For you are my Guardian."_

I didn't have a sacrifice for Him tonight, so instead I sliced open the skin of my palm and smeared a sigil on one of the rocks by my feet. There I spilled my blood for Jashin and prayed He would receive my offering.

"Saki." Pein's voice resounded from behind me.

I jumped and turned to look at him. "Leader."

"Why didn't you return with Zetsu and Zena-chan?" He asked, though it was more stern than concerned.

"I had business to attend to." I replied, standing up and dusting myself off. "I'm done now though-"

"Your ritual, then?' If I wasn't mistaken, Pein seemed to be mocking me.

I sucked my teeth and faced him. "With all due respect, _Leader-sama,_ being that you are considered a _God_ , is it that hard for you to respect my religious beliefs?"

I could almost feel the disdainful eyeroll lurking behind the Rinnegan. "Report back to camp immediately." He said, and then he was gone.

_Guess I struck a nerve with that one._

_...Hidan would be_ so _proud._

* * *

I meandered back to our campsite, feeling a tad better. I felt eyes on me as I stepped through the trees and looked up.

_One, two, three..._ Pein wasn't in sight, but Konan had emerged from the tent, looking rested.

"Squirt." A deeper, raspier tone startled me.

"Fucking ninjas, sneakin' up and shit," I grumbled, turning to face my assailant. "'Kuzu!" I chirped, refraining from lunging at the miser.

"And here i thought you'd be more excited to see me, considering the great lengths I had to go through for your happiness."

I tilted my head to the side, curious. "What's that?"

He produced a scroll from behind his back.

"I swear-"

"I'll cut your tongue out if you don't shut up, woman." He pulled his mask down and stuck his tongue out at me as he held the scroll up. "This is just part one. It's a basic kanji/romani scroll. I had to find some kid who didn't need it anymore and steal it. You'll be paying me back for that, by the way. I'll also be charging you an hourly rate on my tutelage."

It took me a minute for my brain to catch up with all of the information, it was like old skool DSL. I could almost hear the dial-up tone.

"Wait- so, you're here to train me?"

"Yes, idiot. My rate is 500 Ryo per hour, minimum of 15 hours." _This cheap bastard..._

I grimaced and reached for my coin pouch to count my money. I honestly had no idea how much I had, nor did I ever know how much I got paid for the small job I _did_ get to do.

"You don't have enough, I can tell you that much. I'll take it on your next job... Of course, for an interest fee."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I get it, Mr. Krabs. I don't care what you do, as long as we get this show on the road."

Kakuzu seemed in a better mood today than most others, but I couldn't really figure out why. It wasn't until later in the morning that I asked, interrupting the lesson he was diligently teaching me.

"What's got you so happy today?" I inquired, setting down my brush and looking at him.

"The longer this takes, the longer I have reprieve from your fool."

I laughed, then it dawned on me. "Wait, weren't you supposed to be bringing the rest of him?"

"Sealed, as Leader-sama requested."

"Wait, Pein requested that?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "As well as the lesson."

Did Pein actually care about me, or was there some other ulterior plan for this? What was he thinking? Why would he set up all of this without at least discussing it with me?

"Sakana." Kakauzu snapped me out of my daze. "You're doing well. That's Ram."

I was almost flustered by how incredibly easy it really was, but I was grateful for Kakuzu's diligent instruction.

* * *

**Suki**

The fire crackled as a log broke and shifted, jolting me awake.

I looked around the camp, meeting Itachi's Sharingan. I sat up, shaking leaves from my hair. The sky was beginning to lighten, and Kisame still hadn't reached the camp.

I tried not to be disheartened, but it must have still been obvious, because Itachi quietly stood and came to sit next to me. He silently offered his canteen, which I gratefully accepted.

I sighed and stretched my legs out, capping the container. My stomach growled and Itachi made a soft sound of amusement.

"We'll catch breakfast while we wait."

**( /_\ ) -weasel**

Itachi's method of fishing was pretty interesting. You'd think nets or throwing kunai at the unsuspecting pike, but I was speechless as he shucked his coat off and slipped his sandals off before wading into the stream.

The Itachi Uchiha was straight-up snatching fish out of the river, quick and agile.

It was such an odd sight that I stood on the bank and watched him for a moment, until a wet fish hit me in the face.

It fell onto the bank, flopping around until it reached the water and quickly swam away, probably as traumatized as I was.

"What the heck, Itachi?" I squeaked, removing my sandals and wading into the ice cold water after him.

"Stop gawking and help, and stop splashing around, you'll scare them all away."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a kunai from my hip pouch.

**(=^w^= ) -my fish boi**

Back at camp, Itachi instructed me on how to gut and descale the fish, but he didn't involve himself more than that, opting to cook the fish with his fireball jutsu.

"Yeah, you take the easy job," I mumbled, wiping my fish-gut covered hands off on my shorts. Totally gross, but I'll just wash off in the river before we left again.

Itachi gave me a dry look and flame-roasted the poor, dead fishes.

We had enough for the two of us to eat, plus a good three or four more Kisame when he finally showed up.

After eating as much plain, cooked fish as I could, I laid back on my makeshift bed and let out a rather loud belch.

"I'd give it a 7/10. I'm impressed," An endearingly raspy voice rated and I jumped to my feet.

"Kisa!" All of my angst over his absence was gone, now I was so happy I could cry. A perfectly aimed jump had me clinging to Kisame's side in a matter of seconds, my giant fish boyfriend wrapping his be-cloaked arm around my waist to return the hug.

"I'm touched that you missed me," he chuckled, "And a bit aroused by your fishy odor."

I flushed and wriggled out of his arms, backing away a few feet. _Sharkbait, ooh ha ha._

I avoided Itachi's amused gaze and picked my black travelling cloak up from the leaf pile. "Itachi made me gut the fish. I'm going to the river."

Without looking at either of them, I know they were thoroughly enjoying my embarrassment as I scurried away to rid myself of any overly-attractive scents. That was the last thing I needed.

The water was a bit warmer than when Itachi and I had caught fish, but still nippy. I quickly scrubbed my body clean and then turned to my clothes. My cloak was fine, save for a bit of grass and leaves stuck to it. Thankfully the shorts and shirt I had worn were dark and wouldn't be stained by fish blood. I scrubbed and rinsed them in the water to the best of my ability and wrung them out. Thankfully I had a nice spot hidden behind a few rocks and boulders, and I waited for my clothes to dry out a bit before I redressed.

After a few minutes of sitting in the water, fish began to swim back up, nibbling at the surface of the water and cautiously watching me.

It was serene and surreal and I hadn't noticed how long I had been watching the fish until Kiame appeared, his head bobbing over the surface of the water.

I shrieked and covered myself, though I didn't know why. We'd already explored that aspect of our relationship, so I don't know why I was suddenly shy.

"Suki, are you almost finished?" Kisame asked, swimming over and scaring away the fish. I nodded and slid deeper into the water, offering a small smile to the shark man.

"What's your deal today, princess?" He asked, swimming closer to me.

I squeaked and tried to evade him, only succeeding in pushing myself further into his element. Kisame smirked and I almost swooned, but I stuck my tongue out and made a dash for it.

Of course I didn't make it to shore before he caught me, he was like Michael Phelps and Bruce from Nemos love child. He caught me and drug me back to his chest, chuckling at my feeble attempts. "Suki, talk to me," he growled, his strong arms cementing me in place. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, "I'm fine-"

"Then what's on your mind?"

I struggled against his grasp and he turned me around. "It's..." I looked up his face. His expression was concerned, and his hair was wet and sticking to his skin. My eyes trailed down his chest and was suddenly aware of his nudity. "Kisame, you're naked..."

A soft snort escaped him, "What, are you suddenly too timid? Suki we've-"

I flushed and slapped my hands over my ears. His arms shot up and steadied me so I didn't sink under the surface, serving more embarrassment to me.

"Itachi is clearing up camp, don't worry, Princess." His words did little to relax me, so he pulled me a bit closer, definitely enjoying tormenting me. He gently reached up and cupped my cheek, tilting my face towards his. His lips caught mine in a sweet kiss and he broke away after a few seconds, placing a second kiss on my forehead. "Unfortunately, my errand sidetracked us a lot and we can't afford to waste more time. Itachi-san should be almost finished. If you want to keep your modesty, I'd suggest getting out now, my little prune."

I blushed and followed him back to shore, where my shirt and shorts were draped over a bush. His were left in a pile by the shore. I dressed with my back to him, still a bit embarrassed. As soon as I had pulled my shirt over my head and turned around, Itachi materialized beside Kisame, who was zipping his cloak up. I shook mine off and and put it on as well, zipping it up as Kisame strapped Samehada across his back.

"I'll carry her," Kisame said, shifting Shark Skin so I could comfortably rest on his back without getting shredded all to hell by it. Once I was situated, Itachi led us to the correct course and we took off running once more.

_I'm gonna have to find something to pass the time with how much we've been running...  
_

* * *

**Kira**

Sasori didn't know what to do for the typically emotionally disconnected woman. She hardly reacted, but here she was, crying in his arms.

There was an unfamiliar feeling rising in his chest with each tear that she shed. It wasn't annoyance- he was quite familiar with that feeling, thanks to his immature and foolish partner. It left a bitter echo in the back of his mind as Kira's tears finally dried up. She didn't say anything as she sat up and rubber her face, distancing herself from him again.

"You-" He started, but left the rest of the sentence hanging, unsure of what exactly he wanted to tell her. She gave him a darkened look and fished another of her hand-rolled paper cigars from her chest pocket, lighting it with one of his matches. She took a few drags, slowly closing her lids.

Sasori watched her for a few moments, noticing the small shifts as the drug relaxed her and eased the pain from her mind. After a moment, her eyes fluttered open and her dark blue eyes settled on him.

Sasori reached into one of the pockets inside of his cloak and withdrew a blood-red silk handkerchief, offering it out to her.

She gingerly took it and dabbed the last remnants of her tears from her face, leaving it crumpled in her hand. "Thank you..." She finally murmured.

"For what?" Sasori asked, leaning forward to retrieve the cloth from her.

"For letting me cry."

"I've read that crying helps some people process their emotions, perhaps you should let yourself weep more often."

Though he had indeed read that, another reason he'd never admit to her was that she was quite cute when she cried. He wanted to wipe the teardrops from her face himself, but she'd never let him, especially with how much of an ass he'd been the day before.

Sasori couldn't explain it to her, but for once, he was beginning to _feel_. Before her arrival, he'd never batted an eye in an situation. While he'd grow annoyed by Deidara's incessant idiocy, most times he was unperturbed.

But now... He hated how affected he was by the recent happenings. He was annoyed at the sudden attack, he was inconvenienced by the relocation, and he was worried about Kira.

Now he was... He didn't know what he was feeling, he just knew he wanted to see her smile, even if it were just for a second.

"Kira-" He began again, awkwardly shifting his weight. "I want to apologize for what I said."

"You don't have to apologize for being honest, Sasori-san." She replied curtly, dipping her head to avoid his look.

The honorific left a bitter taste in his mouth. _So that's how it is._ "I'm- I'm sorry I said that." He bowed to her, hating how child-like he felt.

"Sasori-" The redhead began, touching his right shoulder. "Please stop."

The puppet-man lifted his head and gave her a long look. "Please accept my sincerest apology."

"Okay- just get up, please don't ever do that again." A light pink blush dusted her face and Sasori rose from his kneeling position. "Listen, I understand how you feel about me-"

"How could one understand something that they have no knowledge of?"

She flinched and he scratched the back of his neck.

"What I mean is that- How could you know what I feel if I've never told you how I feel?"

Was he blushing? Kira nodded and the conversation ended, Sasori finding himself studying the grain of the wooden dome that made up Hiruko's body rather intently, embarrassed and quiet.

_But at least Kira had hope._

* * *

**Sakana**

Ram, Monkey, Ram.

Ram, Monkey, Ram.

I formed the hand seals slowly, mimicking Kakuzu's splayed fingers through the motions.

It was hour 8 of my lessons, and I had absorbed as much knowledge as I could the night before, quickly catching on to the lessons and leaving nothing but putting my work into practice left to do.

I could tell Kakuzu was annoyed at how quickly I had been powering through, both because it meant less money he'd get paid and less time until Hidan was back in one piece. I was jittery with excitement and kept messing up, placing my fingers wrong. Kakuzu quickly rapped me on the knuckle and I fixed my fingers, forming the seal correctly. "How many times do I have to do this?" I had already done the set at least 50 times.

"You'll do it until you can perform it flawlessly." Was the miser's curt reply.

I groaned. "But 'Kuzu-"

He gave me a glare and I stopped complaining.

"Ram, money, ram. Release."

Zena had appeared from seemingly nowhere. There was a poof of steam and a soft pop. Sitting atop the scroll in front of her was my boyfriend's body, arms and legs crossed. He tapped his fingers on his elbow, in what I couldn't only assume to be frustration.

I guess it was a good thing she had only unsealed his body.

"Wait, Zena why'd you do that?" I asked, looking up at the brunette.

She gave me a weak smile, "Zetsu-san was annoyed by your repeated failure, so he taught me how to do it..."

"All of that fucking work and I don't even get the satisfaction!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.

"For what it's worth, Zetsu-san also said that the same technique would work on the box, too..." She offered helpfully.

I gave her a begrudging smile. "Okay, thanks, Zena-chan..."

She stood above me for a moment before returning to Zetsu's side by the campfire.

I was really annoyed now, but I tried my best to mimic the signs.

After perhaps the tenth try, the seals on the box burnt up and the lid slid off, revealing its contents.

I peered in. Hidan's head was facing the bottom of the box, and his blood was smeared across the walls of it. I picked him up by his ears, knowing I'd get bitched out so much for it.

Readjusting my grip on him, I felt a bit grossed out by the tacky blood and loose bits smushed into my palm now. It was warm and sticky, and I gingerly turned his face toward mine. There was a seal placed over his mouth and a _very_ pissed look in his eyes.

"Hiya, Hidan. Hey Kakuzu, I think you were right!"

The tan-skinned mizer raised his eyebrow at me, "What are you talking about?"

"Hidan really wasn't getting enough blood to his brain!" I fell out laughing, ignoring the hateful glare Hidan shot me. I heard Zena laugh, her voice light and sweet. Kakuzu shook his head and took Hidan's from me, making quick work of the seal. One of the inky black tendrils slid down his arm and began stitching Hidan back together as my immortal lover let loose one of the longest strand of curses I'd heard from him.

"Sakana you bitch-" He started, attempting to turn toward me. Kakuzu yanked him back and threatened to leave his head detached, saving me from 90% of Hidan's ire.

Although I was glad that he wasn't sealed anymore, I was discontent with the entire procedure.

Where I should have been proud that I'd managed my task, I was frustrated with myself for the multiple failures. Zena had managed it without having to endure Kakuzu's lessons, and Kakuzu had even finished the job for me...

It was official, I was the worst ninja ever.

Feeling sorry for myself, I stood up and shuffled into the tent to report to Pein.

"I thought you'd be more enthusiastic about it," my brother remarked, watching me with his annoying Rinnegan eyes.

I shrugged. "Yeah but _I_ didn't do it all. You were right, I should have been able to do it."

"Your chakra reserve isn't fully repleted," He explained. "You used almost all of it attempting to fight Kakashi."

I screwed my lips to the side, contemplating his words.

"I was fully aware you couldn't manage the task by yourself," Pein finally admitted.

"What? Thanks for the vote of confidence, _bro_." I hissed, anger taking over my sense of shame. "That's just great."

"It was a lesson, idiot." He bit, "To teach you not to act rashly as you did. To remind you the importance of conserving your chakra and practicing restraint."

Now I felt like a child being scolded. "I was just..."

"Just putting yourself in the path of danger. Hatake Kakashi is not your friend, he is the enemy. He will not hesitate to destroy you. Even with your current state of being, he is an enemy that is entirely too powerful for you to take on."

I nodded mutely, biting the inside of my lip. I still felt as if I wasn't good enough.

Like Akatsuki would ditch me in a minute if it weren't for the fact that I was the great Leader's long-lost sister.

It was like a shitty fanfiction written by a prepubescent girl and prolonged for too many years.

"Sakana," Pein said, drawing my attention back to him. "You did quite well and worked hard despite the circumstances. Don't consider it a failure because you weren't the one to accomplish the task. Take the information you learned and use it to make yourself a better kunoichi. Dismissed."

Autonomously, I left the tent and ran right into Hidan, who was now in one piece. _**(Wait... Like with Luffy?)**_

"Sorry-" I started, but he cut me off by pinching my cheek.

"You're a little asshole," Hidan hissed, but I could see the delight hiding behind the false annoyance. "A goblin, if you will."

I gave him an innocent smile but he didn't buy it.

"I guess if you won't repent, you'll just be punished." He gave me a sly smirk and looped his arm around my neck.

"Nononono, Hidan please-"

He said nothing as an evil smirk crept across his face and he pulled me into the treeline.

* * *

**A few hours later**

Here's a very important lesson, kids.

Do _not_ , under _any_ circumstance, agree to a romp in the woods. The places you could get bit by mosquitos are unimaginable. Don't agree to it because you think it'll be fun. It won't. Not even if he's been decapitated and stuck inside of a sealing jutsu for at least 72 hours. It's _so_ not worth it. Trust me on this.

By the time I convinced him to return to our camp and eat some of Zena's cooking- which was just as amazing cooked over a campfire- I was in a much better mood.

Hidan wasn't. "How can you be so fucking annoying right now?"

I shrugged and pushed through the trees, ignoring the branches snapping back and slicing my shins.

"I need a to sacrifice tonight," he informed me. "Don't you feel it?"

Surprisingly, I didn't. There was no nagging bloodlust, no bloody thoughts about how many ways I could use nearby objects to end a life. "I... Don't."

Hidan's grip on my arm stopped me in my place. I whirled around to look at him, meeting his steely gaze.

"What?"

He squinted at me, "You don't feel the need to sacrifice or you don't feel Jashin's will?"

I scoffed. "I don't need a ritual. I offered my own blood last night, and I feel just fine."

"But not graced?"

"What's with the questions? You detaining me, detective?"

Hidan raised a silver brow at me but shook his head.

Of course he didn't understand. :/

"I was just worried-"

"Wow, you? Worried? Well tickle me pink and call me Suzy."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Shut up." He smacked the back of my head and continued walking, mumbling something about psycho goblins and their oddities. _Hey, that's me!_

"Hey Hidan! Wait for me!" I shouted as I caught up to him. "Sorry, what were you going to say?"

"Something dumb, probably. I'm fuckin' hungry, lets go midget." He laced his fingers in mine and pulled me down the path. I felt my face heat up a little but let him pull me until we were almost back to camp. It was uncharacteristic for him to show affection, so I didn't make a peep. When he did finally drop my hand, I was left a little disappointed. I'd gone extremely soft on the stupid jerk, but the thought of that asshole doing the things he did made a shiver go up my spine.

Maybe it wasn't 'true love' or whatever fairy tail bullshit Jashin and whoever had quoted at me, but every time he gave me that annoyed look or that devious grin I felt my knees go weak. He was so incredibly hot, I could barely stand it.

A big plus was that I didn't really have to worry about him. Even if he got hurt, he'd eventually be right as rain due to his immortality. I really only needed to keep him from messing with Asuma, if I could. Or at the very least do something about Shikamaru and his need for revenge...

But there's also the possibility that I couldn't do anything about Shikamaru. He _is_ a genius, even if he's a child. His wit will only sharpen with age.

_Damn it._ I chewed on the inside of my lip. What if something happens and I go back to the other world before then? There was no guarantee that I'd stay here for the next four or five years.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear Hidan calling me until I ran face-first into a tree. "Shit!" I said, spitting out blood. I'd busted my lip, and the iron tang of my own life force spread across my tastebuds.

Hidan cackled but wiped a dribble of bloody drool from my chin. "Careful, Sakana, there's a tree there."

"Thanks a lot, asshole," I grumbled, turning on my heel and marching into the camp.

The tent was to my right, and the campfire was to the left. The area I had been taking lessons from Kakuzu was was cleared, four smaller tents occupying the area surrounding it. Someone had been working hard.

"What if someone spots this place?" I blurted.

"It's alright, dude," Hidan said, slinging his arm around my shoulder and leaning down so he was level with me. "Leader-sama has his ways."

What a... cop out explanation. I expected the barrier seal Itachi and Kisame had used against Team Taka, or a super high level Genjutsu. _He probably doesn't know either._ I shook my head and walked over to the tents, peering inside one of them. Zena emerged a second later, toting an armful of dirty clothes.

"Hello Sakana, hello Hidan." She greeted us, looking at the two of us. "I'm going to wash this laundry in the stream, would you like me to wash your clothes as well?"

I glanced at Hidan, "Don't worry about it, he can manage it. Thank you, though."

She nodded and walked away, disappearing into Pein and Konan's tent after waiting at the door for a moment.

"Aw, why'd you send her away?" Hidan whined, "My cloak could use a wash."

I rolled my eyes. "Because you're a big strong man. You can wash it yourself."

"But she offered-"

I cut him off with a curt glance. "You also don't have any other clothes to wear."

"So?"

I let a sigh loose. Was he really that dumb? "So, that means if Zena-chan washes your clothes for you, you'll be naked."

"So?"

I could slap him.

I _would've_ slapped him, if a blur of blue and pale yellow didn't tackle me from behind.

The air left my lungs in a _'whoosh'_ as I hit the ground.

"Sakana!" Two voices cheered, one high and excited, the other gruff but equally excited.

"Suki!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around the pair. "Kisame!"

"Are you fucks done with your little reunion?" Hidan spat from somewhere beneath me. _I guess that wasn't the ground I hit._

"Oops," Suki squeaked, standing up and offering me a hand. Kisame stood and picked me up by my armpits, setting me back down on my feet.

Hidan grabbed on to the back of my cloak and drug himself to his feet. "Yeah yeah, help _her_ up."

Kisame and Suki ignored him, turning back to me. "Hey squirt," Kisame rasped, ruffling my hair. "I heard you went up against Hatake Kakashi."

I grimaced. Word spread fast.

Suki gasped, grabbing my hands. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really dumb, apparently."

"I'll say," Hidan grumbled.

"Shut up," I replied waving him away as if he were a fly.

"He's not wrong, what were you thinking?" Kisame leaned down to chastise me.

I swatted him away, too. "I already got the lecture from Pein, it was really reckless, _blah, blah, blah-"_

Suki had an uncomfortable expression across her face, Kisame just gave me a smirk, and I heard Hidan snicker from behind me.

"Good to know you haven't learned your lesson, Sakana," Pein said, leaning over my shoulder. "I believe more lessons with Kakuzu-san are in order."

I winced.

* * *

After Pein chewed me out (again), Suki took the liberty of showing me the very simple floor plan of her tent.

They were like freakin' Harry Potter tents, all magical and shit.

There was a small foyer/main room and two bedrooms. The curtain going into one of them was drawn closed, and I could only assume that Itachi was in there, moping. The other room had a full-sized bed- an upgrade from our previous twin-sized mattresses which sucked to share. The only downside was that it was quite a bit short than my old bed. That would take a bit of getting used to. There was also one small table in the far corner of the room, its surface clear.

"It's so cool. All of them are the same. I don't even know where they came from, we've only been here like five minutes. Zena gave us clean clothes." Suki cut off my line of thought, practically bouncing in place.

"Slow down, motormouth," I laughed. "You're really wound up."

"Oh just you wait," she smiled gleefully. "I'm saving it all for when Kira gets here."

Kisame lumbered in, collapsing on the bed. "It's time for sleep."

Suki gave me an apologetic look and followed me out of the tent. "He hasn't rested in a few days." She admitted with a sigh.

I led her to the campfire. There was a tea kettle steaming over the fire. Konan appeared from the big tent a moment later.

"Girls," she greeted us with a small smile. "Good to see you. Would you like some tea?"

She poured tea into wooden cups for us and toted one back to the tent, returning a few moments later.

Suki told us about her small journey, from almost being left behind by Itachi and Kisame and becoming a prisoner to Konoha then Kisame rushing in, swinging Samehada like a madman to the dreadfully long and tedious run to their rendezvous point and eventually making their way to camp.

Konan explained that while Pein could move rather quickly unimpeded, she had carried me through the skies on her paper wings and Zetsu had transported Zena through his mayfly technique.

I _had_ been wondering about the staggering arrival times, despite us all presumably leaving at the same time. I didn't actually know for sure, as I had apparently overexerted myself and passed out. A voice inside of my head pointed out how I was more pathetic than Sakura, but I pushed it back and drained my tea. "And where's Tobi?" I asked, suddenly aware of the absence of one energetic man-toddler.

"Wow, it took you how long to notice?" Konan scoffed. "He's on a top-secret mission." She winked and took my cup from me.

Oooh, how cryptic. I eventually wandered into one of the tents, looking around the strange structures. Hidan wasn't in the tent next to Suki's (which was the second from the right- and Zena's was the rightmost), which led me to assume he had occupied the tent on the left.

It made sense, now that I thought about it. This tent was placed a bit further away from the others. If Kakuzu had gotten first pick, he'd definitely go for the most distance from the others. He really was an extremely old man.

The first room in the tent was closed off, signifying Kakuzu's desire to be left alone.

Hidan was snoring on the bed in the second room, the curtain still hanging open. A pair of clothes were set beside Hidan's head, folded neatly. Hidan's dirty clothes were thrown across the floor, and a clean black t-shirt was discarded next to the folded clothing.

I sighed and shook my head, picking up the discarded clothes and quickly changed, adding my own laundry to the pile. Satisfied that everything was in order, I climbed onto the bed next to Hidan, who had decided that he'd sleep with his head at the foot of the bed. I snatched a pillow from by our feet and settled in.

* * *

**Kira**

Two things dawned on me at the same time, and bother were extremely sobering.

One, I only had one of my 'creations' left, and two, I had to desert my reserve when we fled the base.

"Fuckin' Konoha," I growled, catching Sasori's curious look. I threw my hands up and gave him a disdainful look. "I'm almost out."

"Ah," he replied, nodding in understanding. "If it's any consolation, we'll only be traveling in Hiruko for another hour before Deidara will meet us."

"It kind of doesn't."

He was quiet for a minute before he produced a small box from his robe.

"What's this?" I asked, taking it from his outstretched palm.

"An experiment," he replied quietly, looking away and drawing his knees to his chest.

Curious, I opened it and peered inside. It was a small cake, most likely chocolate.

"What?"

Sasori sighed, sitting forward and dumping the cake into my hand. "Sakana-san told me of something called 'edibles' from your world. This is one of my experiments."

"Ah," I said, and Sasori shoved the cake into my open mouth. I almost choked, surprised by the action, but chewed it and swallowed it down. "Cinnamon?"

Sasori raised a brow at me.

There was still cake in my mouth, and now I looked like a complete fool. I turned my head to finish chewing the mouthful and to hide my blush as I swallowed.

Already I could feel the effects, but I had questions.

"What did you do to it?"

He smirked, "Zena-san and I worked together to create something consumable and fast-acting. I presume it's working?"

I nodded, intrigued by this side of him. "What possessed you to do so?"

He made a face I didn't recognize, but it was gone quickly, replaced by his entertained smirk. "You said you weren't thrilled by the lengthy process of digesting and metabolizing the chemical. I thought there must be a way to remedy that."

It was like a long-winded nerdy version of saying, 'I did this for you.' I was touched. _Maybe he does care about me._

I fought the blush that rose and tried to shoo the thought away. "How did you manage to make it take effect so quickly?"

"That's a secret," he replied.

I rolled my eyes and scooted across the cabin, sitting next to him. "It's a really sweet gesture," I told him quietly.

Sasori didn't reply, but he did shift closer to me.

The next thirty minutes were spent in silence, with nothing but the occasional wind gust or rock disturbing my peaceful calm. Sasori was still too, and when I glanced up at him, his eyes were closed and his head was tilted back.

Something inside of me desperately nagged me to grab his face and kiss him, but something else told me that something of such beauty wasn't to be disturbed.

"Stop staring at me, woman," Sasori mumbled, and I jumped.

My cheeks burned and I turned my face away.

His fingers were under my chin seconds later, turning my face back toward his. "You shouldn't hide such exquisite art from me," he chided, leaning in to study my face.

Deep, deep down, my inner fangirl was dying. _Ohmygod ohmygod._ I gulped and lifted my hand, brushing his away from my face. "Don't tease, Sasori."

"One shouldn't assume, Kira." He replied. "I'm not teasing, I'm quite sincere."

More blood rushed to my cheeks and he smirked, leaning even closer to me. "S-Sasori,"

"Hm?" He asked, looking at me in a way I'd never seen him do before. "What is it, Ki-ra?" My name dripped off of his tongue like velvet, and a breath hitched in my throat.

I cleared my throat, sitting back. My mouth was so dry, but I licked my lips. "Do you have any water?"

He slid the canteen to me and I uncapped it, taking a slow drink of cool water. I felt his eyes on me and quickly put the cap back on.

"Better?" Sasori asked, his voice low and husky. Dear gods, why? Why did you make him so freaking... Mmm.

Control yourself, Kira. Don't give in, _don't give in._

I nodded and glanced at him. He was watching me with hooded eyes. Something came over me and I was kissing him.

And he kissed me back.

For a moment, inside of the traveling puppet, I forgot about everything wrong in the world.

* * *

_dancing in the moonlight_ _, everybody's feelin' warm and bright_

* * *

Unfortunately for me, the passionate moment was interrupted by a sharp rapping on the top of Hiruko, startling the crap out of me.

"It's Deidara," Sasori told me, straightening himself out. I mirrored him, smoothing out of hair and rubbing my face with my sleeve as he opened the puppet up and climbed out, his arm reaching back in to help steady me as I clambered out of the contraption.

The bratty blonde was hovering above the ground a few feet away on one of his creations. He raised an eyebrow at me and glanced at my hand still clutching Sasori's, which I dropped it and lowered my head as I mounted Deidara's clay bird.

Sasori sealed Hiruko into a scroll and joined us, sitting cross-legged next to me as Deidara piloted us further above ground and into the cloud cover.

"So, Kira-chan," Deidara all-but purred, turning to give me a coy look. "Didja have any fun?"

"Bite me, brat." I growled, giving him a darkened glare.

He cackled and turned his gaze back to the sky.

I spared a glance at Sasori. Hundreds of questions crossed my mind, but I didn't voice any of them. His eyes caught mine and he gave me an amused smirk, then my mind was blank again. _Damn hormones._

Left to my thoughts, I began analyzing every moment we'd shared, every word he'd said to me. He was beautiful and witty... and so damn confusing. He told me he was fond of me, he said he'd never stoop as low as being with me, and then he kissed me. I yearned for answers and clarity, but I knew that I'd have a hard time getting Sasori to open up to me.

Despite the incredibly sweet moment inside of the puppet Hiruko, a heavy melancholy swept over me. I tucked my knees to my chest and took a deep breath.

Soon, I'd see Suki and maybe then I could ask for advice. She seemed to cozy up immediately with Kisame, so maybe she was doing something right.

"Hey, Kira-chan," Deidara called back to me. "Have you seen anything as pretty as this back where you're from?"

I looked across the sky. We had dipped below the clouds and were descending ever so slowly. Small villages peeked up from the ground, some following circling roads and others comprised of square blocks. Some parts of the villages were lit up, but most of them were dark. The only people up at this hour were criminals and ninja. Or both. I glanced at my two companions briefly, returning my gaze to the passing scenery.

"...No," I finally replied, my voice thick. I cleared my throat and spoke again, "The closest would be airplanes, but I've never been on one. Even then I guess it wouldn't be such a sight because of what capitalism and pollution has done to the Earth."

Deidara snorted, "Sasori no Danna, our destination approaches."

Sasori didn't reply, but stood up. Deidara lowered us until we were flying parallel to the ground. I grabbed onto Sasori's sleeve and drug myself to my feet. Sasori wrapped his arm around my waist and jumped off of the bird.

I shrieked and clutched onto his cloak, but we landed upright on the ground. Sasori let go of me, but I could tell he was silently entertained by my overreaction.

"You could have given warning."

Deidara barked a laugh, walking into my line of view from the left. "I did warn you."

"Oh yeah. 'our destination approaches' is such a clear way of saying, 'hey we're gonna jump off an explosive bird that's fly at like 120 miles an hour,' you asshat." I hissed, turning and stomping off a few feet.

"Kira-chan," Deidara said, but I ignored him and kept walking.

"Kira," Sasori said and I stopped and turned my annoyed glare on them.

"What?"

"Where are you going? We need to go this way," Deidara laughed, pointing in the direction opposite I was headed.

"Shut up," I hissed, marching off in the direction Deidara was pointing.

"Stop teasing her, brat." Sasori grumbled, his words shortly followed by Deidara yelping. "Woman, we're going Southwest. If you believe you can keep up, then by all means, continue on foot, but if you'd like some assistance, I'd suggest you stop meandering about and mount me."

Deidara snorted and I flushed, images popping up in my mind. "Oh my god," I breathed, embarrassed to my core.

"What are you doing?" Sasori asked.

Deidara burst into laughter, doubling over. "He doesn't even know what he said," he managed through fits of giggles.

" _Shut up, Deidara!_ " I hissed, climbing onto Sasori's back with a huff. Deidara cackled once more before Sasori took off running, effortlessly springing from the footpath into the treetops, then bounding from branch to branch, deeper into the darkness.


End file.
